| Jul 1 @ 4:00 PM |
Is It Time To Alert The Mother?
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 9,950
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I mentioned a couple weeks ago that I felt that Ava, my sister's best friend who is like a sister to my sister and a little sister to me, may be affected by an eating disorder.
My fears have only grown since I posted that and as time goes on I worry that it may be time to alert her mother. I see her checking the food labels as time goes on and even though I openly told her that her height and weight she should be consuming 2,000 calories a day I see her sustaining herself on a diet of fruit, cereal, and whatever it is we eat for dinner. I also hear her talking about taking long walks and doing copious amounts of crunches and squats. She pressured (I believe....my mother said it was my sister's idea, but I do not believe it for a second) my sister into doing an "Abs of Steel" tape in my house the other day...and the last thing my sister needs is stress on her body.
Ava has always been a people-pleaser, and a lot OCD. Anorexia and bulimia are disorders that stem from control and recently Ava has moved away from the organising and I believe has turned the OCD on herself.
When do I alert her mother, and is it even my place?
Please, someone help me. I don't know what to do. I'm at a complete loss.
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| Jul 1 @ 4:31 PM |
Is It Time To Alert The Mother? |
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Loreli
Posts: 19,348
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She spends time with you, and you care.
By all means-talk to her.
But, be prepared that she may think you are just interfering....
Good luck sweetie.
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| Jul 1 @ 4:37 PM |
Is It Time To Alert The Mother?
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beckyiv42000
Posts: 11,721
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I would suggest just talking with her mom .. expressing your concerns ... and also talking to HER but more subtly yanno?? Try to feel out wtf is really going on .. tell her that you are concerned that she is heading down a path that will not benefit. her ... explain EXTREME anything .. diet exercise eating drinking does nothing than throw the body into shock and makes the rebound 10 times worse till at some point the body says SCREW it yanno?? good luck
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| Jul 1 @ 4:56 PM |
Is It Time To Alert The Mother? |
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kattsmeow
Posts: 20,910
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From what I read, I don't see what you are seeing. I too read food labels, and fruit cereal and what is for supper is pretty good I think.
As far as the ab's thing? I don't see a problem with that either.
Now, if you start seeing weight loss, or the throwing up, or the binging that goes with it too, then you have a problem.
Maybe she is just wanting to watch what she puts in her body?
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| Jul 1 @ 6:09 PM |
Is It Time To Alert The Mother?
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 6,403
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ok.. lets do this by the numbers..
1) does she need to diet? or is she already thin...
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| Jul 1 @ 7:00 PM |
Is It Time To Alert The Mother? |
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 9,950
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She must have a 19 inch waist. And she's barely getting ANY protein. She already has bad circulation and she suffers from a flat mood, lack of sleep, and dizziness. You tell me where there is no problem... 
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| Jul 1 @ 7:03 PM |
Is It Time To Alert The Mother?
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kattsmeow
Posts: 20,910
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What kind of fruit, and also what kind of cereal? What does dinner consist of?
All of this goes into the equation.
You might want to help these young girls out with some solid info.
You have to fuel your body if you are going to exercise.
They need to make sure they are getting what they need is all I am trying to get at.
19 inch waist huh? I remember when a 24 inch waist was the thing to have.
Whoops, you got in there before I posted this. I am not saying there isn't a problem. I am saying that in people at this age, they will go through moods, and want to be like everyone else. 
If you look at what each food actually gives to your body, you might be surprised at what protein they are really getting.
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| Jul 1 @ 7:14 PM |
Is It Time To Alert The Mother? |
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Loreli
Posts: 19,348
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I have a friend that used to have a 19 inch waist, and she ate well.
I do agree with Katt(as I said in another thread? this got brought up in...)
2 meals a day can be a lot for one growing up.....depends on what they consist of. Or it could be harming them to not have the basic food groups.
2 good meals is better than 3 fast food....
And maybe she eats more when she isn't around you...
Plus-if she looks up to you....you just lost a bunch of weight....could be she is just trying, in some way, to emmulate you 
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| Jul 1 @ 7:19 PM |
Is It Time To Alert The Mother?
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 6,403
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She already has bad circulation and she suffers from a flat mood, lack of sleep, and dizziness. 2) has she been to a doctor regarding these symptoms...?
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| Jul 1 @ 7:22 PM |
Is It Time To Alert The Mother? |
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 9,950
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She used to have a fuller figure and all of a sudden it changed into this nasty flat as a board thing that it is now and it's alarming. Her clothes are falling off.
And if she wanted to emulate me, she'd eat well. I eat well....a mixture of proteins, fruits, vegetables, and yes...some junk food on occasion. Besides, I have a healthy, womanly body shape and a 29 inch waist with 37 inch hips. She has no visible waist to hip ratio. She's just a plank.
She eats life cereal, strawberries, and lettuce with vinegar dressing. That is it.  She used to eat a lot, and eat healthy.
And no, Gallows, she has not been to a doctor. She's been to a "holistic healer".
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| Jul 1 @ 7:27 PM |
Is It Time To Alert The Mother?
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 6,403
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it might be too simple .. but..I would talk to the mother about these symptoms..
and push to get her daughter to a doctor.. a holistic healer is good for what they do.. but in this case that is not going to help the situation... once there ...the doctor should be able to tell if there is a problem..or not.. but imho.. you are right.... 
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| Jul 1 @ 7:32 PM |
Is It Time To Alert The Mother? |
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Loreli
Posts: 19,348
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Does she have thick hair on arms, back, legs?
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| Jul 1 @ 7:33 PM |
Is It Time To Alert The Mother?
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 9,950
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Arms yeah. I haven't seen the legs or the back.
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| Jul 1 @ 7:43 PM |
Is It Time To Alert The Mother? |
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Loreli
Posts: 19,348
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Was it always like that?
Some people's bodies will grow thick hair if they are starving themselves....it's a heating/cooling mechanism...
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| Jul 1 @ 7:57 PM |
Is It Time To Alert The Mother?
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 9,950
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I'm not sure but I don't believe it was always like that. I believe she's grown hair on the face, too.
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| Jul 1 @ 8:13 PM |
Is It Time To Alert The Mother? |
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kattsmeow
Posts: 20,910
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She eats life cereal, strawberries, and lettuce with vinegar dressing. That is it.
Of course this is not good. I thought you said she ate what ever was for dinner though.
Sigh, this is the way that the girls think they should look. It is horrible to see some of the models, and stars that are so skinny they look like they are sick.
She not only needs a med Dr, she might need some counseling too.
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| Jul 1 @ 8:16 PM |
Is It Time To Alert The Mother?
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 9,950
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Yes she will eat the pasta, etc but pushes it around the plate and always leaves a lot. She used to like it and eat seconds but now looks disgusted when she eats it.
I don't think it has anything to do with weight or fitting into a media body image. Ava is an independent, mature, free-thinking girl. She is OCD and I believe has turned her OCD on herself and her body instead of projecting it onto her environment and onto others.
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| Jul 1 @ 8:35 PM |
Is It Time To Alert The Mother? |
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CathyCRN
Posts: 3,114
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Is she still having menstrual periods? Strange question but if she is really starving herself or if her BMI drops too low, they will probably stop.
Also, can you encourage a high protein shake or bar before exercise? If she is trying to shape her body, which is fine, you might encourage the added protein before her hard work outs to help build muscle and burn fat versus lossing her muscle mass...she'll feel better and have a better outcome...might be worth a try...
As for alerting her mother...is her mother involved in her life? If so, definitely alert her if you think her health is in jeopardy, if she is depressed or her OCD is out of control. She should be seen to alter/start on meds if necessary.
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| Jul 1 @ 8:40 PM |
Is It Time To Alert The Mother?
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kattsmeow
Posts: 20,910
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^^^^  Ice cream with carnation instant breakfast used in it is a good thing too.
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| Jul 1 @ 8:46 PM |
Is It Time To Alert The Mother? |
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 9,950
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We've tried, she turns everything down. "I'm not really hungry", "I don't want anything". Her body doesn't need to be shaped. It's already shaped. There's no flab or anything.
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