| Jul 2 @ 1:06 PM |
How you "fight"
|
|
Loreli
Posts: 19,231
|
I'm NOT talking about physical....
Are you more gentle with old and young?
Do you have a hard time backing down when you are right (not just in your mind)?
How long do you stay mad at someone you love?
How would you handle a friend that insists on staying mad, but won't explain why?
What if you apologize and they turn their back on you anyway?
I try not to be false, but my upbringing was to respect elders...And children need to be taught. So I am more gentle with them, I think.
I definitely have a hard time backing down if I'm right....but I'm not mean about it.
I don't stay mad long at all. And if a friend does that, I will try 3 or 4 times to get to the bottom of it, then leave it to them to show if they ever cared enough in the first place.
|
|
  |
|
| Jul 2 @ 1:23 PM |
How you "fight" |
|
signme
Posts: 9,100
|
Some good questions there Lori. Not sure how I'd answer all of them.
For one thing, I try not to fight. There's too many other things in life more important than fighting. If I'm wrong, I can manage to acknowledge that I am wrong. If I'm right, it doesn't matter what anyone else tells me, I know I'm right.
Children and sometimes the very elderly have trouble understanding and it doesn't help to yell. That's when it takes patience to get a point across.
My friends and I usually end up apologizing if necessary. I rarely lose a friend because of a misunderstanding.
|
| |
|
| Jul 2 @ 1:41 PM |
How you "fight"
|
|
SaintBacon
Posts: 895
|
I don't mind confrontation if a situation calls for it, but I don't like to fight, verbally or otherwise...it's just not productive and the danger of saying something you'll regret later is pretty high.
I willingly DISCUSS anything, will try to understand the other point of view, but I won't back down if I know I'm right.
The person I'm in conflict with depends on whether I am super-gentle in my approach, or unleash Mr. Asshole.
I have no problem apologizing if I feel I misunderstood something, or was wrong altogether.
I can stay mad about something for a minute, an hour, or a day...just depends on who and what the problem was with and about.
If the person I'm in conflict doesn't accept the apology or walks away, I give them a day or two to cool off and then try and contact them. If they persist, I leave it up to them to make the next step.
|
|
| |
|
| Jul 2 @ 1:55 PM |
How you "fight" |
|
kattsmeow
Posts: 20,812
|
Are you more gentle with old and young?
Of course.
Do you have a hard time backing down when you are right (not just in your mind)?
Some times I do. Other times as long as I know that I am right, I don't bother to argue about it. It will come to light sooner or later.
How long do you stay mad at someone you love? 10 minutes maybe?
How would you handle a friend that insists on staying mad, but won't explain why?
I will ask what is wrong, and then if they refuse to answer I will tell them ok, when you decide you want to tell me then I will listen.
What if you apologize and they turn their back on you anyway? Their loss I guess.
I have grown "thicker skin" over the years though. That doesn't mean my feelings won't be hurt, just that I have to protect myself too.
|
| |
|
| Jul 2 @ 2:48 PM |
How you "fight"
|
|
beckyiv42000
Posts: 11,680
|
Are you more gentle with old and young?
Yes definitely ... they need more patience plain and simple
Do you have a hard time backing down when you are right (not just in your mind)?
haha I think EVERYONE knows this answer 
How long do you stay mad at someone you love?
depends on the situation.. and what they have done to piss me off I can be mad at someone and still care what happens to them and love them
How would you handle a friend that insists on staying mad, but won't explain why?
Ask them why maybe twice then tell them to get their heads outta their asses and tell me WTF is wrong .. I would want to know either way WHY .. if I have done something wrong I would want to fix it or if they are just being an ass then I would like to know that also so I don't waste my time on the BS
What if you apologize and they turn their back on you anyway?
Then at least I know I tried to right things its on them then ... at this point in my life I really don't have time for bullshit games its just stupid to waste precious time playing them
but I will say one thing and a few of you have seen this .. I WILL fight down and dirty no holds barred when defending my family and friends.. defending myself ?? well its funny I choose to use a more subtle approach..I usually let the person I'm, arguing or fighting with dig their own hole .. so much easier and funner to watch  
|
|
| |
|
| Jul 2 @ 2:58 PM |
How you "fight" |
|
mystery2u888
Posts: 4,830
|
 Now I love my Becky  of course.. ...and all the ladies above... ............it is all in someone's tone............if the tone is incorrect.......then of course.........then it is going to be appeared.............as ................to others .............in a wrong way.  ..so you go into defense........you can't hear a tone in an email..........so you must be very careful how you write things.........what someone may think is spoken very loudly and rudely......others may think ......there is an attack.........if ........you put certain tones you must explain very carefully.................so that doesn't happen.......if you are joking....of course.....being sarcastic.......  there is that way too...........I generally don't stay mad or get upset over little things.........life is way too short.......however......if someone is in the wrong........I am going to say something.........  when it is needed.............I will hold my tongue back.......but.....when there is something I feel strongly about.......that is when I take ............to another level 
If a friend apologizes...  .......I take that into consideration however.....I think very carefully...  .......... on what subject.......  ..........they are apologizing.....  ........if it is unforgiveable............I can fogive.......... but I don't ever.................FORGET..........I may still be friends with them..........but.........did they lose all trust that was needed.........and credible..........for there actions.......possibly......and I may just keep my guard up with them at all times.................generally you see the truth all by itself.........as times goes on...........you know and in time...............you already have your answer
[Edited on 7/2/2008 3:29 PM]
|
| |
|
| Jul 2 @ 3:02 PM |
How you "fight"
|
|
BandTMom
Posts: 26,402
|
Are you more gentle with old and young?
Old...probably. Young, probably not. It is my responsibility to raise my son to be a good and productive member of society, so I'm probably harder on hin than anyone.
Do you have a hard time backing down when you are right (not just in your mind)?
Sometimes, but i really hate to fight and argue so I can easily agree to disagree.
How long do you stay mad at someone you love?
About 30 seconds.
How would you handle a friend that insists on staying mad, but won't explain why?
First I would be hurt because true friends should be able to "get over it". Then i would leave them alone to work it out. If they continue mad, then maybe they weren't a true friend to begin with....or maybe I did something they just can't forgive.
What if you apologize and they turn their back on you anyway?
I would probably try once more and if it didn't work then I would have to move on and hope after a cooling off period they would come back,
|
|
| |
|
| Jul 2 @ 4:48 PM |
How you "fight" |
|
beckyiv42000
Posts: 11,680
|
noticing the answers about being gentle with elder and younger...I will stipulate that although at times being gentle is hard  with bratty children and obnoxious elders usually a FIRM hand (sometimes placed appropriately on a little behind ) is what is needed ... and while being firm you can also be gentle .. I know it sounds like a contradiction but a child especially needs the firm hand, a guiding hand wrapped up in a glove of love and caring
|
| |
|
| Jul 2 @ 4:54 PM |
How you "fight"
|
|
LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 9,909
|
Are you more gentle with old and young? Yes. Generally. I don't have much experience with very old people as they kind of freak me out and I tend to avoid them but when I AM around them I am very gentle with them.
Do you have a hard time backing down when you are right (not just in your mind)? Yes; a very hard time
How long do you stay mad at someone you love? It depends on what they did. I can hold a grudge for a very long time if the offense is serious enough, however it doesn't change the fact that I love them.
How would you handle a friend that insists on staying mad, but won't explain why? This bothers the hell out of me. I'd probably pester them for awhile trying to get them to talk to me and if they didn't talk to me I'd just give up and hope for the best all the while worrying my ass off about it.
What if you apologize and they turn their back on you anyway? Then I tried to the best of my ability and there's nothing much else I can do. For some people an apology is worthless and I cannot do anything about that. If they want to be mad, they can be mad.....I will miss their friendship but I am not going to sit around and wonder about what in the world to do to "win" them back, though from time to time I may attempt to extend the hand of communication
|
|
| |
|
| Jul 2 @ 5:09 PM |
How you "fight" |
|
Say_Yes
Posts: 1,626
|
I'm NOT talking about physical....
Are you more gentle with old and young?
Do you have a hard time backing down when you are right (not just in your mind)?
How long do you stay mad at someone you love?
How would you handle a friend that insists on staying mad, but won't explain why?
What if you apologize and they turn their back on you anyway?
First of all, I don't fight. I don't argue and I rarely raise my voice. If I am too upset by an issue to discuss it calmly & rationally, then I wait until my emotions have calmed, before I address the issue at hand.
If I believe that I am in the right, then I say so and I stick to it, unless I am shown to be wrong. At times, I understand that two reasonable, intelligent people can see the same issue in a totally different light. As such, we often agree to disagree and leave things at that.
As for a friend who is angry, but who won't explain why, then that is their issue, not mine. I let them know that I am available to discuss things, but once that conversation has happened, I don't bring it up again. The ball is in their court. I assume that if/when they wish to discuss things, then they will.
As for retaining anger, I try not to do that. For me, once an issue has been dealt with, then it should be over and forgotten. If I can't move past that, then either I need to deal with my problems over the issue, or if I can't get beyond it, then I need to rethink the relationship. At times, I have ended relationships, when issues arise and I find that the person that I thought I knew, turns out to be someone else entirely. When that happens, it may well be time to walk away.
|
| |
|
| Jul 2 @ 6:47 PM |
How you "fight"
|
|
Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 14,715
|
At times, I understand that two reasonable, intelligent people can see the same issue in a totally different light. As such, we often agree to disagree and leave things at that.
Yep, and sometimes that also means agreeing to avoid each other in future...to me, if it's core values that are different, I just walk away.
Are you more gentle with old and young? Certainly...but now that I'm getting into the 'old' category, I need to think about that one...Do you have a hard time backing down when you are right (not just in your mind)? Depends on what the difference is about...if it's really important, I won't ever back down. How long do you stay mad at someone you love? I can't even stay mad at people I only like... How would you handle a friend that insists on staying mad, but won't explain why? What if you apologize and they turn their back on you anyway? Wait and see...it will work out or it won't, not much you're going to do if they won't talk |
|
| |
|
| Jul 2 @ 7:10 PM |
How you "fight" |
|
LaughTillYaPuke
Posts: 1,822
|
Are you more gentle with old and young?
To a point. More explanation certainly. But working in a school, it's just easier to cut to the chase and lay down the law. Discussion is not an option.
Do you have a hard time backing down when you are right (not just in your mind)?
Heck yes! But I have learned the sweetest words during a fight are...
"I understand what you are saying. I may not AGREE with it, but I do get it!"
How long do you stay mad at someone you love?
I am very slow to anger, but once I'm there it takes the full fire brigade to put me out. How long? I don't believe in going to bed mad...STAY UP AND FIGHT!
How would you handle a friend that insists on staying mad, but won't explain why?
What if you apologize and they turn their back on you anyway?
If I didn't know WHY they were mad? At some point you have to hug them and say..."I'm so sorry I hurt you and I really don't want to do it again. But I need you to TELL me what I did so it doesn't happen again."
|
| |
|
| Jul 2 @ 8:03 PM |
How you "fight"
|
|
pamdemonium
Posts: 13,890
|
I may have a sassy mouth now and again...but my feelings are easily bruised.
I go out of my way to avoid arguing.
Respect most of my elders. But having reached a certain age and maturity, it's generally easy to communicate if there's a difference of opinion and clear the air.
The young...teach a child the way they should grow. So, if you're nasty to them, are you teaching them to behave that way?
I don't stay mad long, but I also don't forgive easily, or forget.
In all of life, there are lessons to be learned. You try your best, and if things
don't work out the way you liked, perhaps there's a lesson to take away. Not always easy to find what the lesson is, esp. if someone's hurt you.
So then, is it more about them, than you?
If I'm right, I say my peace. And then it's done. Sometimes you have to agree to disagree.
|
|
| |
|
| Jul 2 @ 8:35 PM |
How you "fight" |
|
SensualGemini
Posts: 3,052
|
Are you more gentle with old and young?
Absolutely! ... but young stops with obnoxious teenagers and old is my elders.
=========
Do you have a hard time backing down when you are right (not just in your mind)?
...I never back down per say, but I will agree to disagree and yes, I understood what they were saying. But, I am not going to stand around and argue with anyone.
...Now, if they have convinced me that I was wrong, then I will change on the spot and if required, as in a trespass, also apologize; but not because someone says I have to.
=========
How long do you stay mad at someone you love?
...About 30 seconds and does not matter if I do or don't love... but then wonder why everyone is still irritated; some for days.
=========
How would you handle a friend that insists on staying mad, but won't explain why?
...Maybe they are not mad, but have decided they don't want to be friends anymore.
...Whatever, it is their call, as I don't need the drama queen act, or their further negativity in my life.
=========
What if you apologize and they turn their back on you anyway?
...Guessing they are no longer a friend and don't worry about it.
|
| |
|
| Jul 2 @ 8:36 PM |
How you "fight"
|
|
Nightowl001
Posts: 3,470
|
[QUOTE]Are you more gentle with old and young?
I guess you could put it that way. I try to be mindful of the capability of the person I'm talking to to understand what it is I'm angry about if I'm angry. My tolerance for frustration is higher with those who I perceive as unable to understand me than it is for those who I think understand but don't give a crap.
Do you have a hard time backing down when you are right (not just in your mind)?
Depends on the day and the issue. Sometimes it's not about being right or wrong, it's recognizing "different," and not necessarily making different "better." I really hate getting into those little power plays. One of my pet peeves. I'm entirely capable of going, "Okay, well you can believe you're right," while I walk away secure in the knowledge I am. I don't have to "win" by making them lick my shoe.
How long do you stay mad at someone you love?
It depends on what I'm mad about, how hurt I am, what I feel I will have to do to recover. Most of us on here are divorced. So, we loved someone enough to get married to them at one time, almost without exception promising "until death do us part." Yet, we got "mad" enough to dissolve the marriage and break that promise. Are we still mad if we don't take back the divorce and go back to them?
How would you handle a friend that insists on staying mad, but won't explain why?
What if you apologize and they turn their back on you anyway? If they won't say why, well, there's not much I can do about it consciously. If I don't know why they're angry, actually I won't apologize. I may be sorry that something I did hurt them or made them angry, but if it was for the best in my honest opinion, I'm not going to apologize for doing it. I knew a couple that was like that. The wife was always getting mad, would clam up. The guy would apologize for whatever (never knowing what it was he had done), and damned if a week later he wasn't in the doghouse again for doing the same thing. Then he'd get reamed for saying he was sorry he did it but doing it again anyway! I used to look at the lack of communication between those two and wonder how they ever managed to show up at the same place at the same time to GET married.
|
|
| |
|
| Jul 2 @ 9:18 PM |
How you "fight" |
|
1RockinDude
Posts: 6,826
|
Life is too short to be mad, or hold grudges on someone If they cant get over whatever..It is easy to move along..It is nice to live a drama free life !!!
People who care and love you dont burden a so called fight..or bring you down
|
| |
|
| Jul 2 @ 9:22 PM |
How you "fight"
|
|
BandTMom
Posts: 26,402
|
Nice post, Rockin!
|
|
| |
|
| Jul 2 @ 9:54 PM |
How you "fight" |
|
Jankia
Posts: 8,770
|
Are you more gentle with old and young? It depends,I respect the older for they have allready having been through more than myself but a persons age really hasnt any bearing on how "gentle" I am towards them.
I would say there persona decides how gentle I am with them.
I have to be gentle with the younger because they havent been around long enough and havent been taught enough to deserve being rough with.
Do you have a hard time backing down when you are right (not just in your mind)? Like anyone else that is right beyond a doubt,backing down from being correct gives a poor example of who a person really is.
How long do you stay mad at someone you love? If I really love them then they love me.Being mad really doesnt come into play but dissatisfied does.
How would you handle a friend that insists on staying mad, but won't explain why? I figure they have a problem that goes beyond our friendship and then I'll ride it out until they dont have it anymore.
What if you apologize and they turn their back on you anyway? Since there back is allready turned by there own decision,I chalk it up as a lost cause.
|
| |
|
| Jul 2 @ 11:52 PM |
How you "fight"
|
|
sweet5red
Posts: 7,851
|
when the drama happened at work and i was given 2 days off with no pay and the 2 females that stretched the truth about what happened and wrote up their version and they didnt know My boss was going to give me a copy of their version where there was name calling etc.. for which they were written up.. when i protested as in my way if thinking they were very nasty and disrespectful of me.. when i walked in one of them looked at me and said " im gonna say this one time dont EVER speak to me again" she was the very one i wrote the sweet Blog about at christmas time.. she showed her true colors.. i dont need so called "friends": like that.. and as for the other i love kids and pets an elderly need lots of TLC Sweet n Louisiana
|
|
| |
|
| Jul 4 @ 2:50 PM |
How you "fight" |
|
painter007
Posts: 15,732
|
I wont fight.....I will hear what they have to say...and then respond, but if it gets to where a person I care for wishes to continue....I do as I always have.. get naked...it really does show how silly the argument is......jmo
|
| |
|
|
|
|