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Would you "not" date someone based on their posts to this forum


Dec 30, 2005 @ 11:00 AM Would you "not" date someone based on their posts to this forum    
FeliciVagano


Posts: 2,152
Or would you try to find out what they really are like in person? I feel most people understand that people act differently when they are behind a computer screen vs real life. Your thoughts are??
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Dec 30, 2005 @ 11:08 AM Would you "not" date someone based on their posts to this forum    
chinabull2000


Posts: 7,012
If a person is quite plainly rude, selfish or disrespectful etc on the forums, then there is not a chance in hell I would ever date them. Respect and common decency is inbred within those of us that are that way inclined, and if a person cannot show these character traits on a message board, then it is highly unlikely they would show them in real life either.

And personally I do not see why people should act differently online than they do in person, although of course I understand that some people have more confidence online.
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Dec 30, 2005 @ 11:10 AM Would you "not" date someone based on their posts to this forum    
TiNkErGrRrRrR


Posts: 13,813
I would date someone who post on here..however no offense to anyone..I haven`t really come acrossed anyone who I want to date yet
How they act on here doesn`t mean their like that in person...everyone deserves a chance
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Dec 30, 2005 @ 11:16 AM Would you "not" date someone based on their posts to this forum    
Classy_Blonde


Posts: 6,034
Ah Tinker,

That's just the kind person that you are.

I'm pretty finicky anyway, so it would all depend. I definitely know I would not date any man that showed disrespect for a woman, be it chauvinistic or otherwise. Why in the world would I date someone who treats a woman in such a manner? I'm not into abuse.
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Dec 30, 2005 @ 11:34 AM Would you "not" date someone based on their posts to this forum    
FeliciVagano


Posts: 2,152
And personally I do not see why people should act differently on-line than they do in person, although of course I understand that some people have more confidence on-line.

Tthis is the most interesting part of any forum. When people feel safe, they let their defenses down. When one is in the comfort of their own room looking at their computer screen it is easy for some people to manifest behavior that they normally would not be acting out.
My question is - Would they start acting the same way when they are comfortable in a relationship as they do when posting? Or is it a totally different reality?
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Dec 30, 2005 @ 11:36 AM Would you "not" date someone based on their posts to this forum    
TiNkErGrRrRrR


Posts: 13,813
Your right Classy...nor would I date anyone who was abusive to women on here..those are the ones i would look out for...I`m not all that gullible ..and I know I tend to look at things a little differantly then most...but like you said thats just me
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Dec 30, 2005 @ 11:37 AM Would you "not" date someone based on their posts to this forum    
waiting41


Posts: 1,926
Awwww, Felici, I am flattered by your inventive ways of showing interest in Waiting. Everyone is different. This is not my reality by any stretch of the imagination. As a matter of fact, it's a rather good escape from it.
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Dec 30, 2005 @ 11:37 AM Would you "not" date someone based on their posts to this forum    
spongebob777


Posts: 7,904
I'm pretty shy in the physical world but once I get to know someone I'm pretty much like I am here but more subtle.

OTOH If I don't have an interest here it wouldn't matter anyway.

[Edited on 12/30/2005 11:40 AM]
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Dec 30, 2005 @ 11:40 AM Would you "not" date someone based on their posts to this forum    
Pete73052


Posts: 19,370
Yeah, I think I might not date someone based on their posts here.
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Dec 30, 2005 @ 11:46 AM Would you "not" date someone based on their posts to this forum    
ruready4me2luvu


Posts: 1,737
I'm the same online as I am in person. I speak my mind, too bad if some don't like my opinion. I'm honest to a fault so if you don't want the truth donot ask me. I play no games either way. And like the other ladies, no way would I ever date a man who has been abusive to women on here or at any other time.
If someone is gonna judge me for the things I say on a public message board without knowing any circumstance surrounding a situation I'm writing about is very ignorant in my opinion. When more people learn to COMMUNICATE maybe everyone will find that someone they are searching for.
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Dec 30, 2005 @ 11:48 AM Would you "not" date someone based on their posts to this forum    
spongebob777


Posts: 7,904
When more people learn to COMMUNICATE maybe everyone will find that someone they are searching for.


It's a little tough for adults to do in a strictly controlled forum setting but I'm chatting now so I'll STHU.
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Dec 30, 2005 @ 11:52 AM Would you "not" date someone based on their posts to this forum    
FeliciVagano


Posts: 2,152
So there is some agreement that "What people think people are like, based on how they post here" may not reflect how they really are.
But how "they post" still influences perceptions of who the poster "really is".

( You make me nervous waiting...very nervous )

Very good point here...
It's a little tough for adults to do in a strictly controlled forum setting but I'm chatting now


[Edited on 12/30/2005 11:54 AM]
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Dec 30, 2005 @ 11:54 AM Would you "not" date someone based on their posts to this forum    
ruready4me2luvu


Posts: 1,737
Spongey how do you think they would react if we all took the day off and went over to yahoo on someones personal chat board where you can say what you want?
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Dec 30, 2005 @ 11:57 AM Would you "not" date someone based on their posts to this forum    
Pete73052


Posts: 19,370
But how "they post" still influences perceptions of who the poster "really is".


Absolutely. That's why I'm against all the censorship we've experienced lately. We're here to get an understanding of each other - and to do that we need to be able to read what people post. It's like getting a document from the CIA that has all the information blanked out. What good is that?
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Dec 30, 2005 @ 12:13 PM Would you "not" date someone based on their posts to this forum    
spongebob777


Posts: 7,904
Two of the main things that I look at in a profile these days are blogs and if they post, I look at thier comments.
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Dec 30, 2005 @ 12:23 PM Would you "not" date someone based on their posts to this forum    
Hooks


Posts: 165
But how "they post" still influences perceptions of who the poster "really is".
That pretty much sums it up for me! In my last marriage, in public I was the greatest thing that ever walked the face of the earth, in private I would have to climb a 20' ladder to kiss a snails butt! If a person has a vile side to them, it will come out when there is no fear of face to face confrontation! So, I pay attention, and there are a few I might date, but there are several that I wouldn't!
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Dec 30, 2005 @ 12:28 PM Would you "not" date someone based on their posts to this forum    
buni


Posts: 978
I would not date some of the men here by how they post. I also would not want to be friends with some of the women by how they post.
I have found that every person I have met in real life from one of these places is exactly in person like they are online.

I think you can tell a lot about a person by how they post on here, but let me see...some of you say that it isn't right to judge a person by how they post here, but then others say that they interact here like they do in 'real life' ...so which is it?

Some are just playing on here and some are serious, but you can't tell which ones because you can't tell how they really are??

I totally agree with this statement...
Respect and common decency is inbred within those of us that are that way inclined, and if a person cannot show these character traits on a message board, then it is highly unlikely they would show them in real life either.
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Dec 30, 2005 @ 12:32 PM Would you "not" date someone based on their posts to this forum    
FeliciVagano


Posts: 2,152
have found that every person I have met in real life from one of these places is exactly in person like they are online.


How many is that?

And these "20 -30 people" all have the same qualities that you like?


[Edited on 12/30/2005 12:44 PM]
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Dec 30, 2005 @ 12:38 PM Would you "not" date someone based on their posts to this forum    
buni


Posts: 978
20 maybe 30 something both male and female.
Some of them are very good friends now.

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Dec 30, 2005 @ 12:44 PM Would you "not" date someone based on their posts to this forum    
TiNkErGrRrRrR


Posts: 13,813
You can`t always judge a person by what they post in here..because everyone has a serious side however they also have a not so serious side...the humorous side..so how can you judge someone if you don`t know them... if someone says something negative about me...well thats their choice...I`m not gonna jump back in and say something equally as negative to them...because Thats the person that I am..in the forums and out of them.. I guess you just have to learn to read between the lines...thats my opinion and I`m stickin` to it.. Like I said before everyone deserves a chance...you can`t say you won`t date them if you don`t really know them..ok I`ve said enough..

Ok..Have a Nice Day Y`all

[Edited on 12/30/2005 12:47 PM]
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