| Aug 11 @ 10:04 PM |
Hypothetical question..
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Loreli
Posts: 20,319
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:Let's say Kathy is 18, and starts dating Allen, 21. They fall deeply in love.
2 years later she dumps him...on his birthday of all days....they need to grow up and find themselves.
He is devastated.
3 months later, Allen gets continous phone calls from Kathy, her brother and a friend. He finally calls back.
She's pregnant.
Then it might be his.
Then it isn't, but a one night stand. The Daddy will support the baby (he says)
Kathy wants Allen to get back together now. He still loves her.He wonders if it's ok just to spend time together.....
What would YOU think?
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| Aug 11 @ 10:05 PM |
Hypothetical question.. |
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robodad
Posts: 5,876
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I think it's great. Punch it up a bit and have Kid Rock make a song out of it
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| Aug 11 @ 10:13 PM |
Hypothetical question..
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SunBabe
Posts: 12,251
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LOL, you might not want to know what I think.  
She's pregnant with some other guys kid and she supposedly grew up and "found herself" in three short months? 
Since it took 2 years of being together until their break up, maybe spending 2 years apart will let both of know whether this is shared love...or desparation and manipulation.  (Allen should step back and observe her actions outside of her "comfort zone")
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| Aug 11 @ 10:32 PM |
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lazareth
Posts: 1,083
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I was thinking the same thing Sunbabe
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| Aug 11 @ 11:05 PM |
Hypothetical question..
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Haban3ro
Posts: 1,141
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I think it's great. Punch it up a bit and have Kid Rock make a song out of it
My sentiments exactly. Allen should run like hell in the opposite direction.
Does he need a place to stay if he comes to California? Give me a shout.
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| Aug 11 @ 11:13 PM |
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kattsmeow
Posts: 21,280
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No, no, no!!!!!! He needs to get some miles between them now.
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| Aug 11 @ 11:25 PM |
Hypothetical question..
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Loreli
Posts: 20,319
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Does he need a place to stay if he comes to California? Give me a shout
He probably would!
Allen is a big sports fiend....
hypothetically, of course
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| Aug 12 @ 12:03 AM |
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Haban3ro
Posts: 1,141
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Cool, we live near Huntington Beach.
You know what they say about, "There's lots more fish in the sea"?
Well, they come here to spawn... 
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| Aug 12 @ 9:58 AM |
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emptypages
Posts: 1,003
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"Allen" should be smart enough to staw faaaar away from this "Kathy".
Run Allen, run. FAR.
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| Aug 12 @ 10:16 AM |
Hypothetical question.. |
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Loreli
Posts: 20,319
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If his brain rules the situation, and not his heart...I think he would be ok.
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| Aug 12 @ 12:36 PM |
Hypothetical question..
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Haban3ro
Posts: 1,141
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Male, age 21? I don't think it would be his brains or his heart doing the talking. (And no, not what you're thinking of, either!  )
Men harbor this fantasy about being needed, about being the one who can "make all things right" for a woman they have feelings for. (Over the 2 years they were together, I believe Allan would've had some strong feelings about this girl.) We feel, "If I can give her everything she wants and needs, she will become the most wonderful life companion I could've ever dreamed of."
Unfortunately, the fantasy doesn't work.
1) Young men Allen's age lack the financial resources to be able to provide for anyone's needs but their own.
2) It is a very difficult thing to be able to provide for the emotional needs of someone, especially when your own emotional needs are as yet unfulfilled. A lot of maturity and insight (usually beaten into us by an uncaring cosmos) are needed before we come to realize this.
3) Gratitude for the gifts and attention we receive is incredibly rare. We are humbled by knowing that someone else is willing to do so much for us, and we begin to despair of being able to repay what we have received. (That's if someone even feels gratitude in the first place.) Generally what happens is that a requested by the "healer" to have their own needs met is rejected as manipulation: "Oh, so your love comes with a price tag, does it?"
4) Getting into a situation where you are providing for the needs of someone else, someone who does not truly know what she wants, means that your own needs and dreams will have to take a back seat -- if they can get on the bus at all! This would likely be a situation where the needier person becomes an emotional sink, sucking up more and more of the healthier person's psyche until he's reduced to an empty shell. Then the person will leave to find someone else who can "fulfill her needs."
5) Driven by the initial sense of good intentions and a noble spirit, the "healer" in this relationship is unable to break away. Even though they may see clearly what's going on, they are unable to break free, since that would make them less of a worthy human being in their own eyes. But the pain of frustration and lost hopes will increase, eventually leading to anger, and seeking for fulfillment in unhealthy ways.
Allen, good buddy, listen to an old coot who has been around the block a few times. I have been here myself, and it is not a happy place. I have seen my own sons in such a situation, and the pain is INTENSE, not just for them, but for everyone who loves them.
Allen is dealing with an emotional vampire, and painful as it is, he must drive a stake through the heart of his own feelings about this gal, before she sucks the life and marrow out of his bones.
Just my opinion.
[Edited on 8/12/2008 12:49 PM]
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| Aug 12 @ 12:51 PM |
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nah12
Posts: 3,973
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hypothetical
hypothetically hard to say .... realistically an easy one ....
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| Aug 12 @ 1:02 PM |
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Loreli
Posts: 20,319
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Haban-
that was great! 
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| Aug 12 @ 1:15 PM |
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grumblebear
Posts: 10,494
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Wow... and I mean wow...
Emotional Vampire? I guess I would say "Leech"
Kathy is trying to take advantage of Allen, plain and simple, Allen should take advantage of the Huntington Beach offer, explore the world, and be responsible to himself, and his future, and let other people deal with their own repercussions...
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| Aug 12 @ 1:16 PM |
Hypothetical question..
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painter007
Posts: 15,990
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Too young...he needs to stay clear jmo
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| Aug 12 @ 2:05 PM |
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beckyiv42000
Posts: 12,083
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I am in awe once of again of the Jalapeno dude 
my Opinion?? Kathy is a flake and a USER and Allen need to cut all ties 
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| Aug 12 @ 2:41 PM |
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Haban3ro
Posts: 1,141
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Jalapeños, Becky?
You're making me feel all warm and runny.
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| Aug 12 @ 2:41 PM |
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Haban3ro
Posts: 1,141
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Jalapeños, Becky?
You're making me feel all warm and runny.
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| Aug 12 @ 5:51 PM |
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beckyiv42000
Posts: 12,083
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From what I've seen Habi yer hot n spicy too
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| Aug 12 @ 6:12 PM |
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kattsmeow
Posts: 21,280
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He sizzles some times I tell Ya!!!
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