| Aug 12 @ 10:15 PM |
The wonderful world of cyber...
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rovingnet
Posts: 1,184
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Nearly everyday I check my E-Mails. I find the SPAM and sometimes misdirected mail amusing and wonder why more of the standup comics here in Vegas have not capitalized on this phenomenon... Why just today...
I am a lottery winner
My E-Mail Address won another lottery
I can test and keep my choice of laptops
I can vacation in my choice of island paradises at discount prices
My band draft is ready [and I didn't even apply for one! Amazing!]
I have "Good News" [really!? why didn't I know already?} 
There are local women waiting to meet me  [how do they know me?]
I can try a new drug for "Erectile Dysfunction" free for 30 days [where do they get this information?] 
and the real favorites... 
I can now enlarge my penis in a variety of ways that do not include sex... [too many to list individually} 
I have coupons waiting for FREE:
Tampons [why do I need tampons if I just enlarged my penis?] 
Adult diapers [this is a problem for all of us?]
So what is your favorite Online unsolicited offer or comeon or scam? 
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| Aug 12 @ 10:59 PM |
The wonderful world of cyber... |
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christy74
Posts: 70
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So let me get this straight, you're a rich guy with a nice laptop, a large member that ummm....salutes a lot, have women beating down your door, but you menstruate and are unfortunately incontinent.
And I thought I was unique! 
Peeking into the spam folder (man, that can be a scary place!)...
I have all of the above, plus I get a discount on Lasik (bad eyes, too??) and there are 6 figure work-from-home positions just waiting for me.  Oh yeah, and lots of offers to get drugs.
I must say my favorites are the penis enlargement ones (I guess any one is bigger than the one I don't have now, right?). Especially when they screw with spelling and spacing to try to bypass filters.
BIGG ER[PENIS]N OW!!!
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| Aug 12 @ 11:21 PM |
The wonderful world of cyber...
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rovingnet
Posts: 1,184
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Christy,
I always check my spam mail first... a good laugh is great for the soul.
What is really interesting is all the Free Weekends in Vegas offers... I mean, My condo is less than 2 miles from the Strip and the ad just above it is local Vegas women want to meet me.. Good thing I live in a gated community
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| Aug 12 @ 11:34 PM |
The wonderful world of cyber... |
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grumblebear
Posts: 10,494
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I've won so many foreign lotteries it scares me, and yet with my all of my winnings, they still want me to borrow money, free trips computers, gifts...
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| Aug 12 @ 11:39 PM |
The wonderful world of cyber...
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christy74
Posts: 70
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Another one I seem to get a lot: Christian dating, Christian singles near you, etc.
Ummm....I'm an atheist. 
And just because I had to go look yet again, apparently someone really wants me to see a video of Paris Hilton and Britney Spears, because I've gotten about 5 of those in the last couple days. 
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| Aug 12 @ 11:51 PM |
The wonderful world of cyber... |
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rovingnet
Posts: 1,184
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Let's get this straight... they wanns save your soul and then have you join in with Britney and Paris?? Hmm
My spam is missing something... No one wants to save my soul and Brit and Paris are avoiding me... I feel so left out
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| Aug 13 @ 12:07 AM |
The wonderful world of cyber...
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christy74
Posts: 70
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Let's get this straight... they wanns save your soul and then have you join in with Britney and Paris?? Hmm
Yep, with a big ol' penis, while I'm doped-up on all the drugs I can get online.
Awwwwww, don't feel left out...I'll be glad to forward you some of mine. There's a bunch of ones for an Angelina Jolie video too!
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| Aug 13 @ 12:35 AM |
The wonderful world of cyber... |
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michedkel
Posts: 4,685
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I get lots of e-mails asking for my bank account information so they can deposit funds directly to my account. I can even keep 10% of the money. And I have won over 1 billion dollars this year in the UK lottery. 
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| Aug 13 @ 5:02 AM |
The wonderful world of cyber...
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rovingnet
Posts: 1,184
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Before I update the SPAM report... Let me warn everyone to NEVER EVER open any of these things no matter how innocent they may seem... Even the unsolicited stuff that somehow gets into your legit mail box should be avoided... that's how Trojans [and I'm not talking about condoms] are transmitted...That said here are my early AM giggles:
CHEAP car insurance [how abut some reasonable gas prices first] 
"b00st your satisfacton with Cial!s !" [why is it all these folks think I need this kind of help?]
Now save on MEDS you NEED! [hmmm legal snoooow or peyoteeee?] 
My Bank Draft is still READY..[when did I apply for this?? I was only in the bar for one drink]
Damn! I still haven't gotten any ads from Britney, Paris or Angelina... 
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| Aug 14 @ 12:07 PM |
The wonderful world of cyber... |
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rovingnet
Posts: 1,184
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Okay I'm up.. 
Now let's have a smile..what's in the ole SPAM box today..
I can:
Control my diabeties..[didn't know I had that.., will make a doctor's appointment immediately]
Secure Viagara [huh? didn't know it was insecure...]
Find a Lost Love, Classmates, Old Friend.. [Duh! I lost'em on purpose or visa versa  - I escaped my classmates - If they were friends they would have stayed in touch]
Cialis has gone SUPER now..[yeah?! So?]
Won another Lottery
[I love the next one..]
Best Prices on impotence drugs [Why the hell would I want to be impotent?}
EXTRA! Fireman 3.0 for Me! [what the hell?!? is a fireman 3.0? no won't open it]
Patrick Simeon is still waiting for my reply [guess he hasn't figured it out yet]
[another mystery!] "fine k zdo Ass electric country" 
[this one is really bugging me...very hard not to open it... where is Ass electric country and why is it so important? If it is a deviant sex behavior wouldn't electifying your ass be painful? sounds dangerous too...]
Discover Health Insurance [really.., think I am stupid, huh?]
Test and keep a Dell XPS laptop [I'm using a Toshiba 2 hard drive top of the line why would I want a Dell XPS?]
John Cummuta wants to share his secrets for building wealth "easily" [by selling me his methods... sure that's going to work, he already wrote the book]
Now I can get my teeth 7 shades whiter!
[ah oh! I am commanded to:]
GET BACK TO ME IMMEDIATELY [yeah, that'll work, sure dude]
No ads to enlarge my penis. Guess they gave up.., figure I'm hung...
Damnit! Still no invitations from Brit, Paris or Angie! I feel so left out..
Now my day is kicked off and I don't feel like I am alone or bored 
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| Aug 14 @ 12:11 PM |
The wonderful world of cyber...
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,088
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I always get the Jewish Dating stuff in my inbox. Irony XD
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| Aug 14 @ 12:14 PM |
The wonderful world of cyber... |
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rovingnet
Posts: 1,184
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Hmmm some Yiddish Rabbis after you lipgloss, better stay away from the Kosher shelves ...unless they're rich, of course..  
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