| Aug 23, 2008 @ 10:28 PM |
Toxic relatives.....
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missliss78
Posts: 5,190
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You know the old saying goes you can pick & choose your friends, but relatives...well, that's another story.  I'm wondering if any of you have ever had toxic relatives in your life that you have had difficulty getting rid of?
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| Aug 23, 2008 @ 10:35 PM |
Toxic relatives..... |
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daisy315
Posts: 4,946
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yes.. and I am still trying to get rid of her
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| Aug 23, 2008 @ 10:44 PM |
Toxic relatives.....
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missliss78
Posts: 5,190
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 Thank you, daisy.
I wonder if you are like me...
I don't want to curse her out & tell her how much I dislike her...
I have not communicated with her in well over 3..if not 4 years now...
I just want her to go away & leave me alone.
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| Aug 23, 2008 @ 10:49 PM |
Toxic relatives..... |
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robodad
Posts: 7,823
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My 2nd cousin has radio-active eyes....
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| Aug 23, 2008 @ 10:54 PM |
Toxic relatives.....
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SunBabe
Posts: 12,279
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I learned to set AND STICK TO "boundries" when my former mother-in-law did a complete (nasty) about-face after 25 years of me being treated like a daughter. Her other sons and daughter-in-laws picked up the same "toxicity" from her...but my husband (afterwards ex-husband) stood by me and respected MY choice of setting MY bounderies of what I would and wouldn't put up with.
"It's MY life, too." (~grin~ My favorite axiom  )
I do the same with anyone, relative or not. 
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| Aug 23, 2008 @ 10:57 PM |
Toxic relatives..... |
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twotall911
Posts: 13,048
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relatives i divorced them years ago 
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| Aug 23, 2008 @ 10:59 PM |
Toxic relatives.....
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missliss78
Posts: 5,190
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Sunny, that makes perfect sense...and good for you that your hubby stood by you!
I have not had ANY communication at all with this relative for 3 years now. Upon last email contact, there was rudeness & bitchy, nosy questions...I responded in a kind fashion, totally working my way around the rudeness & avoiding the questions. At that time, I had not had contact in well over a year. Now I am receiving emails again...and I expect there will be phone calls any time now.  Wonder why people can't just take a freakin' hint!
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| Aug 23, 2008 @ 11:03 PM |
Toxic relatives..... |
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redhairNfreckles
Posts: 4,694
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Sounds like it's time to get the gloves on...... 
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| Aug 23, 2008 @ 11:05 PM |
Toxic relatives.....
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daisy315
Posts: 4,946
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I haven't had to look at mine or hear her voice in about 3 weeks now.. and that's the way I like it.. but it does make me wonder what she's up to.. the longer we go without hearing from her, the bigger the crisis when she finally does show her face
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| Aug 23, 2008 @ 11:22 PM |
Toxic relatives..... |
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missliss78
Posts: 5,190
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Sounds like it's time to get the gloves on
I keep expecting that I am gonna inadvertently answer "the" call when it comes...and I've no clue how I will deal with it, but I am afraid it WILL get ugly & I really do not want that.........
But, I'm sure everyone who's responded here realizes there was good reason I decided I didn't want this person a part of my life anymore & I'm not interested in changing my position at this point.
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| Aug 23, 2008 @ 11:37 PM |
Toxic relatives.....
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Jalon
Posts: 1,611
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This probably won't sound good...but it helps when they die. Everyone involved can have peace.
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| Aug 23, 2008 @ 11:38 PM |
Toxic relatives..... |
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missliss78
Posts: 5,190
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Jalon...I understand what you are saying.
It may be quite a while in this situation, though. 
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| Aug 23, 2008 @ 11:43 PM |
Toxic relatives.....
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Jalon
Posts: 1,611
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Avoidance is sometimes all you can do in the meantime. The conflict just isn't worth the strain to your sanity.
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| Aug 23, 2008 @ 11:47 PM |
Toxic relatives..... |
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missliss78
Posts: 5,190
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^^^^^^ABSOLUTELY!
You understand, Jalon....thank you!
Blah, it's just a bad situation & I don't like the way it makes me feel! 
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| Aug 23, 2008 @ 11:56 PM |
Toxic relatives.....
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Jalon
Posts: 1,611
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I've done my time with toxic relatives so I know where you're coming from. It's sad because you'd like to be able to feel differently...they're your family!
If you can't avoid contact, just be civil....even though it's hard and they aren't. A clear conscious is a really good thing to have. 
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| Aug 24, 2008 @ 12:01 AM |
Toxic relatives..... |
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missliss78
Posts: 5,190
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Exactly....that's why I don't want to be rude...and I won't be unless I am pushed!
But this person has always, always, always had problems maintaining relationships...there's always drama & problems which I don't care to be a part of or privy to anymore....
and life goes on. 
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| Aug 24, 2008 @ 1:10 AM |
Toxic relatives.....
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grumblebear
Posts: 10,559
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I've been lucky, my toxic involvements have all been with women I could walk away from... sadly its been all the women I ever dated...
which scares me more, knowing that if I'm attracted to that, what is wrong with me? or the toxic people I get involved with?
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| Aug 24, 2008 @ 1:43 AM |
Toxic relatives..... |
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Always_Striving
Posts: 8,794
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I love my family way too much to have such an opinion...........BUT!!!!!!
The people that they have dated, or formed friendships with, now I guess you see it coming.
How can I approve of (2) of my sisters formely dating gross biker gang members that go by the names of "Maggot" and "Breaker" I have no friggen Idea what motivated them to do that as younger women. Maybe they thought that they could change them for the better?
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| Aug 24, 2008 @ 10:39 AM |
Toxic relatives.....
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,955
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Yeah, basically my entire German side of the family. Judgmental, nasty, cold people.....
We don't even spend Thanksgiving with them anymore, and they hardly give a crap that we are alive. It's sad.
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| Aug 24, 2008 @ 11:37 AM |
Toxic relatives..... |
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Bluebonnet72
Posts: 2,832
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I have a cousin....we can't stand each other......we have opposite characters.......
when we meet ....the few times that it happens we just say "Ciao"......and that's all.......
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