| Sep 21 @ 5:54 PM |
The Reflection Room
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teddybearagain
Posts: 769
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What do you see when you look in the mirror?
Do you like what you see?
If you look really deep, through those eyes staring back at you, can you honestly say that you're "OK"?
I know at times I challenege myself when I look in the mirror to truly search for the truth. I may overlook something just because it isn't what I want, I think we all do that from time to time.
There are a few things that I know I hold true to. A couple of those things are not judging others. We don't know what it's like to walk in someone's shoes, what their circumstances in life have been. If we choose to judge a book by it's cover we may not read some of life's most interesting print. Turn the page, you may be surprised what you find.
Another thing is to keep my mouth shut about people if I don't know the situation, and try my damnest to always speak nicely, or not to speak at all. For the most part, I do this. I think I've portrayed that here in MD, as is true to my "other life".
Now, this is the part of this post that I challenege you at.
I've seen some posts that I've chose to stay clear of here in the forums. But today, when logging on and seeing some of those I communicate with often, and seeing some posts they've made I asked myself why. Why do they do it? Why don't they just leave well enough alone?
So, there you have it folks, my two cents worth in a sublte but direct approach.
Life is about choices and decisions. I chose to post this in the forums as opposed to blog style so that there can be communication on it. It's my belief that most of you will understand this post, and some won't, and that's ok. For those of you who understand, my challenege to you is that you "pick your battles" so to speak. Adding fuel to the fire only causes a bigger fire, with embers that burn a long, long time.
I certainly respect the thoughts of everyone, regardless if I agree or disagree with them. I understand that feelings get hurt, and that banter back n forth can be hurtful. Truth is though we CHOOSE to engage in it. So with that choice, we are setting ourself up for hurtful words/comments.
I've seen some back n forth that goes on for days, weeks, months with no one "backing off". Stop and think what part you honestly play in that.
I don't like anyone being hurtful towards me, or bantering on and on and on. What do I do? Something I've taught my kids to do, ... turn, and walk away. Sometimes it takes you to make the first move. Be a leader, not a follower.
It takes a bigger person to move on, then it does one to sit and fling crap back n forth.
If we IGNORE it, it will go away.
Peace 
[Edited on 9/21/2008 6:05 PM]
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| Sep 21 @ 6:45 PM |
The Reflection Room |
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Snappygoddess
Posts: 3,814
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It takes a lot to look in the mirror and critique ourselves honestly..but so necessary to be able to make the changes needed. 
Well worded reflection, Teddy 
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| Sep 21 @ 6:52 PM |
The Reflection Room
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Borty
Posts: 2
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It's been my experience that bullies need victums and it is my choice to not be a victum...but sometimes it is necessary to stand and fight and that is when you need to choose your battles. It has to be very important to me before I will respond...I value my peace of mind.
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| Sep 21 @ 7:01 PM |
The Reflection Room |
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painter007
Posts: 15,990
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I have gotten to the point where I can say I like myself.....and I always have my sons to kick me in the butt if I seem to stray.....
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| Sep 21 @ 7:17 PM |
The Reflection Room
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marylou
Posts: 10,629
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Yep.....I am happy with myself.....happy as Larry in fact. It is the rest of the world that is out of step............  
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| Sep 21 @ 7:21 PM |
The Reflection Room |
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CrackerJackPat
Posts: 558
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If we IGNORE it, it will go away.
Or sometimes not. But then, as you say, we can choose to (go away).
I didn't so much as look in the forums for a very long time because of the goings on. Good post my friend.
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| Sep 21 @ 7:56 PM |
The Reflection Room
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teddybearagain
Posts: 769
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It is the rest of the world that is out of step .........
ok, I guess we can think that way too )  ...
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| Sep 21 @ 8:05 PM |
The Reflection Room |
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keeno
Posts: 2,036
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not that i spend a lot of time in front of the mirror, i do at times get this reflection off the screen of my monitor....
an experience i had this summer lead me to look closer at who and what i am. i sort of suspected my conclusion before the experience, but the experience gave me evidence that proved it. then just recently i was asked to help someone, it was nice no drama, just friends situation, i loved it.
so my findings are: i love being alone in the woods
i have to many rules that run my life, they work for me but why
subject anyone else to them
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| Sep 21 @ 8:20 PM |
The Reflection Room
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Carol386
Posts: 3,064
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When I look in the mirror I am looking for the person that I know I should be - if I don't see her, I ask myself what can I do to find her? On the whole I am happy with who I am - every once in awhile though I need to do some "fine tuning". I keep reminding myself of the type of person my mother was and her parents - I hope that I am 1/2 the people they were.
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| Sep 21 @ 8:31 PM |
The Reflection Room |
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teddybearagain
Posts: 769
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fine tuning I hear ya on that one Carol!
I have to take myself into the shop for an overhaul every now and then.
Sometimes when my oil needs changed, I try to run on the "dirty oil"
too long. It tends to clog my motor when I do that though, so I try to
get my check up with every 3000 miles, as recommended 
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| Sep 21 @ 8:44 PM |
The Reflection Room
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 15,333
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I may be one of those posting who cause TBA to wonder why we do it, at least in politics and religion...for me, the answer is simply that if I see people posting what I consider to be 'noise' - i.e. obfuscating someone's position with half truths and irrelevancies, I'm going to at least attempt to point that out. Granted it will normally be buried pretty quickly with more 'noise' but at least I tried. I try to avoid personal attacks though, and limit my comments to the posts and not the people. I think that I normally succeed in that.
As for the mirror - I see someone who was born older than most, I was correcting my mother's casual use of language at 18 months and telling her how to deal with energencies by five. Weird child - I was born an adult and have had more fun since I was 60 than I had at six. I've done the best I could in dealing with the challenges presented to me - I made the hard choices and lived with them, for better or worse.
I'm grateful to the people in my life who've helped me along the way and I've tried to do the same for others, and hope that they'll pass it on as well. I'm sure as hell no saint though, and if I feel that someone's taken unfair advantage of me, I'll cut them out of my life without a backward glance. If that's being judgmental, so be it.
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| Sep 21 @ 8:52 PM |
The Reflection Room |
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Laidback742
Posts: 3,424
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My mirror usually cracks .... just a reflection of my life, I guess .... I just try to keep a few good traits to balance out the rest of it.
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| Sep 21 @ 9:15 PM |
The Reflection Room
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teddybearagain
Posts: 769
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I'm sure as hell no saint though, and if I feel that someone's taken unfair advantage of me, I'll cut them out of my life without a backward glance. If that's being judgmental, so be it. I won't let others take advantage of me either. I've learned to decide who I want to be part of my hula hoop of life through past experiences. I don't let many in, so I have to choose wisely or I may get burned, as I have in the past.
I just try to keep a few good traits to balance out the rest of it. LB, you have many, many good traits and qualities. One of the kindest, gentlest men I have ever met in my life 
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| Sep 21 @ 9:24 PM |
The Reflection Room |
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Loreli
Posts: 20,307
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I'm like Heaven....but mine is more personal.
If I am attacked, I want answers. And what I'm accused of is a)ridiculous and b) not proven.
It is too bad that some have their head (somewhere)
It certaibly doesn't wreck truth elsewhere...
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| Sep 21 @ 9:30 PM |
The Reflection Room
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twotall911
Posts: 12,856
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dont have a mirror
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| Sep 21 @ 9:34 PM |
The Reflection Room |
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signme
Posts: 9,567
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No reflection then, TT?
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| Sep 21 @ 9:34 PM |
The Reflection Room
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teddybearagain
Posts: 769
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If I am attacked, I want answers As would anyone I think Loreli, and deserving of such also, I think.
certainly respect the thoughts of everyone, regardless if I agree or disagree with them. I understand that feelings get hurt, and that banter back n forth can be hurtful. Truth is though we CHOOSE to engage in it. So with that choice, we are setting ourself up for hurtful words/comments.
I've seen some back n forth that goes on for days, weeks, months with no one "backing off". Stop and think what part you honestly play in that. My OP was more OT of not things that are directed AT us, but what part we play in engaging in such banter. (not personally you, Lor, just in general)
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| Sep 21 @ 9:37 PM |
The Reflection Room |
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twotall911
Posts: 12,856
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its just another thing to dust
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| Sep 21 @ 9:41 PM |
The Reflection Room
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teddybearagain
Posts: 769
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its just another thing to dust You should get a purty thang' to dress up in a maid outfit for ya, .......to dust
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| Sep 21 @ 9:43 PM |
The Reflection Room |
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twotall911
Posts: 12,856
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