| Sep 24 @ 1:01 AM |
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ISSUESWOPTIONS
Posts: 7,624
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You have to ask: Who is the dumber here? The person who asks, or the person who follows through?
Recently I got an email from someone requesting to be my friend...again. Huh?!?!?!? What?!?!?!?! Again???? When did they leave? And like a good friend who judges not because accidental deletions do happen I press accept.
Here is the kicker and my reason for this thread.
I check my email only to get a note stating that the person I just accepted was asking to be friends. I was deleted because the person they were dealing with asked them to and because their attempt to chase a derelict dream failed again in less than 24 hrs was wanting acceptance again.. Mind you, I have been there whenever this person needed someone to talk to. Been there to listen to tears of agony. Been there to make this person smile and laugh, and feel better about themselves and everything around them.
What type of bullshit was that? Have you ever sold you friend down the river for someone else? I understand the whole exclusive relationship thing and barely speaking anymore due to commitment issues, but to toss away a friendship because someone tells you to? How fuc*ing stupid are you? I don't know about you but if someone I have never met but is interested in me asks me to give up a friend just because they are insecure or what ever reason I can guarantee you that before listening to that person I am gonna look at things from all sides. f***'em if they can't wait or let me decide for myself.
Here are my questions:
What type of friend are you to others?
What does that say about you if you discard real friends at the drop of a dime?
Is it ever possible to trust such a person with anything, ever?
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| Sep 24 @ 1:18 AM |
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CathyCRN
Posts: 3,954
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What type of friend are you to others? I'm a good friend to others!! I've been with my friends through thick and thin...men, women, either or both have come and gone...I'm still here as a friend!!
What does that say about you if you discard real friends at the drop of a dime? That you were never a friend to begin with. Friendship is unconditional and indispensible...though I may go for a long time without talking to a friend (life is busy, time flies, distance is great)...they are still my friends come hell or high water
Is it ever possible to trust such a person with anything, ever? NOPE
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| Sep 24 @ 1:43 AM |
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nah12
Posts: 3,973
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there are two types of friends
givers = always there willing to give and to step up and help out
takers = always there willing to take and runs away when a bigger giver shows up only to return when the bigger giver drys up ......
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| Sep 24 @ 1:48 AM |
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your_princess
Posts: 3,139
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This happens all the time, to same sex and opposite sex friendships. Couple gets together, she decides she doesn't like his best friend because she feels he is a bad influence or tries to drag him out to party all the time...he ends up dropping his buddy because the goal of pussy seems much more appealing at the time. The scenario goes both ways.
I have also had it happen to me. Dude met his wife at the time, she was very insecure, him and I had been friends for a few years before they even met. He was not allowed to talk to other women. I call him one day and the number is no longer in service. I got no hey I am changing my number, or anything. a year goes by, and out of the blue i get a phone call one night with not much more than silence and a meek "im sorry" on the other end. It took a really long time for me to forgive him, and to some degree i refuse to invest as much as i used to into our friendship because of it.
It sucks to believe you have a solid relationship with someone no matter what kind it is, to only be proved wrong.
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| Sep 24 @ 1:49 AM |
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daisy315
Posts: 4,333
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my mom says I am a very good friend.. she keeps trying to thump that into my nieces noggin.. to have friends, you have to BE a friend.. sadly, my niece has not mastered that concept yet.. and at 25 years old.. I doubt she ever will..
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| Sep 24 @ 2:28 AM |
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Chel819
Posts: 62
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that just shows you what kind of friend that person really is!!....and do you really want someone like that as a "friend" especially when they dont know what true friendship is about. friendship is about quality and not quantity.....through thick and thin, the good times and the bad, tears and sorrow, laughter and smiles!!
i know it hurts bc its a form of betrayal...bretrayal of your friendship but remember there are people out that who you know are your real friends and are hear for you always no matter what and who would never turn their back on you......those are the friendship to be cherish and nurture and distance yourself from all the rest.
keep your head up  
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| Sep 24 @ 10:07 AM |
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lazareth
Posts: 1,081
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 sniff sniff..... I DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS ... I LIVE IN IOWA
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| Sep 24 @ 10:15 AM |
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CathyCRN
Posts: 3,954
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I don't have any friends here (MS) either...mine live all over the country!!! My 2 daughters are my only friends here. Oh well... thank goodness for the internet and free nights and weekends on my cell!!!
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| Sep 24 @ 10:15 AM |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 15,333
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IWO - just say thank you and move on. You're now removed from having to listen to all the tales of woe, all the lost dreams and all the delusional bullshit. Be happy, and grateful that this person is now draining someone else.
Being a friend is giving and taking, not giving or taking. If it's one-sided, it's not friendship it's charity.
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| Sep 24 @ 12:23 PM |
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sweet5red
Posts: 8,125
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one of my male friends that lives in New orleans was online last night and he said he was in shreveport for 3 weeks and i said you didnt call me??????? he said should i have and i said yes thats what friends do.. we coulda had lunch.. or dinner or talked.. he said next time i will.. he thought since i got married i dropped my friends... nope.. not ever..Sweet N Louisiana 
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| Sep 24 @ 12:36 PM |
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CHARLIgurl1
Posts: 658
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I have been blessed with amazing friends. We are there for eachother.. not one always giving the other always taking.. no.. we are there to listen help. love and laugh together through life, and that to me is what its all about.
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| Sep 24 @ 2:26 PM |
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Loreli
Posts: 20,307
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I agree with princess...I have a male friend of 16? years.
He got married a few years ago, quit talking to me, adopted her 5 kids, now she left him.
He asked my sister if I would be angry if he called. I said, let him call. After a friendship like that, it deserves hammering out.
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| Sep 24 @ 4:46 PM |
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custis
Posts: 1,332
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I have had that same scenario happen to me time after time. I would not even waste time discussing it with her. Just use the Ignore button and move on.
I am reminded of a lady I was getting to know who was an American citizen, but living in Mexico. We got to chatting online and on the phone and developed quite an interest in one another. She had money and traveled a lot and was planning to come spend some time with me. Well, some time went by, about two weeks or so during which I was unable to get hold of her by phone or computer. I finally got a tersely worded email that said
"I am pursuing a relationship with the new man in my life and I have not go time for superficial conversation."
After the initial bald-ass shock of it wore off, I just sat back and roared with laughter. Then, I began to feel sorry for her. Anyone with a personality defect of such massive proportions is never going to be truly happy.
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| Sep 24 @ 4:58 PM |
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ISSUESWOPTIONS
Posts: 7,624
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Everyone here is right, and I thank you all for your answers. I guess you can look at this as a breaking of trust. I sit back now with all the "secrets" that were told to me but still refuse to break trust in that my word is my bond.
Does it hurt? Yeah, somewhat. But when you look at everything from all points you are really left with no other choice than to move forward. The funniest thing I have come to see is that I have friends who aren't even on my friends list, and that's perfectly fine. It does not take a list to be a friend. Thank you all of you with integrity.....
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| Sep 24 @ 5:05 PM |
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leprichaun_magic
Posts: 570
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Friendship--is Give and Take,,,whatever gender...??....
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| Sep 24 @ 5:06 PM |
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lj450
Posts: 8,399
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I use my "friend list" as a "cuties list". No guys allowed. If I did have guys on my list, you would be one of very few. *fist bump*
There are friends (real world) and there are internet friends (self explanatory), tis wise not to confuse yourself as to which is which, and what their role should be in your life.
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| Sep 24 @ 5:14 PM |
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ISSUESWOPTIONS
Posts: 7,624
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There are friends (real world) and there are internet friends (self explanatory), tis wise not to confuse yourself as to which is which, and what their role should be in your life.
Tis true my young patawan, but that line can be crossed with just one phone call that causes mutual understanding. Once a connection is made of trust through one of the 5 senses, the rule of engagement change. You can give respect in word but it is never fully understood until heard in voice and tone, and it is best understood when added with sight, touch, and actions.
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| Sep 24 @ 5:18 PM |
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leprichaun_magic
Posts: 570
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well ..yes thats also true ...Woptions..:)
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| Sep 24 @ 5:20 PM |
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lj450
Posts: 8,399
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but that line can be crossed with just one phone call that causes mutual understanding.
I have to disagree. Granted, that does raise the value of the "virtual friend", but they are still a "virtual friend". You need ALL of the senses involved to cross into the realm of "real world".
To tell you the truth, most of the people I consider true friends (very few), are people I have known since childhood.
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| Sep 24 @ 5:31 PM |
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ISSUESWOPTIONS
Posts: 7,624
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To tell you the truth, most of the people I consider true friends (very few), are people I have known since childhood.
This I understand but will have to interject for a moment on your note.
You can also have acquaintances that are from childhood that were slated as friends.
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