A blog was recently written about MD friends who always seem to support each other in blogs even though the originator of the blog may be expressing negative behavior or issues. It was suggested and more or less confirmed in the comments that “supporting our friends & others” is the way of love.
I added my 2 cents worth -- being: (in case you are just now in this particular loop):
I'm with you [the originator of the blog] that a real/true friend addresses issues to help a person along (find would have been a better word) their way. However... & that's I believe the "key", addressing such issues is probably best approached in a private e-mail.
On the other hand, there have been blogs where people have openly stated they were seeking advice where I've offered my "assistance" and I guess it wasn't what they "wanted" to hear so... I didn't get posted. There are those who simply want validation moreso than growth.
Here's to all "Be all that you can be...." (tune of commercial - in the army ) then again.... or not
When we see friends and loved ones in self-destructive behavior and do not intercede – it is called “enabling”.
We are making it practical & easy for them, sanctioning their behavior, which could ultimately result in disaster – long or short term. I certainly do not want the distruction of a friend on my head or heart. We don't need to beat them up, but sometimes a mere, "Did you ever consider......." or "What if you looked at it this way....?" might be a gentle nudge toward improvement in their life.
One of the best friends I ever had laid the cards on the table where my self-destructive behavior was concerned. I knew she was right. Had she supported me in all my reasons for my behavior (which believe me were legitimate), I could have easily lost my children. (Just for the record - I was drinking excessively during my divorce.) You can mess with me - but leave my kids alone!!! It was a risk I was not willing to take even if it did "ease my anger."
Note: In a private e-mail the originator of the blog also shared that by not openly addressing negative behavior publically when it is publically displayed, we suggest to others that the behavior is valid as well. I concur. However.... "how to" is again... what I believe to be the "key".
Bibically - we are to first take our disagreements directly to the person. (private e-mail in MD land) Then, if that doesn't "fix things" take it to the "leaders of the band" (I don't think scripture calls it that exactly). Or - open it for discussion among the leaders of the church, open it for public discussion - forums, newspapers etc.
And here we are in the forums - I believe this makes a good topic for discussion.
The subject is now open for discussion - And she (that would be me) bangs the gavel on the table. Have at it!
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