| Nov 9, 2008 @ 2:00 PM |
Dear Santa
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Laidback742
Posts: 4,679
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Dear Santa,
For the first time in many years, I have decided to write to you. I basically gave up on the whole elves/chimney/one night stint long ago, as I started to believe you were getting sick and tired of working your ass off all night for some measly cookies and milk, and more than likely tired of the onslaught of mail complaining about reindeer shit all over peoples roofs .... I totally understand that there is just no pleasing some people even when they get what they want.
This year, however, I am submitting a list ( see attached .pdf file ) of what I would like .... in exchange, I am ( understandably ) willing to forego the standard cookies/milk/chimney soot in your ass system that has become the norm, & instead will leave you a 12 pack of imported beer, a case of Nature's Best Sled Wax, a coupon for Victoria's Secret for the Mrs, and $20 ( hey, it's been a slow year here, ya know? ). These items will be available on the front porch so you can avoid the roof and chimney altogether.
More than anything, if you are unable to supply the items provided in my list, the only thing I will request is that the good people of MD have a safe and happy Christmas. ( You may notice I'm not politically correct using the word Christmas, and some people may object to this, but between you and me, I say screw 'em ). I also hope that for those looking to find a partner or significant other, you can guide them in the right direction in their efforts to find each other. If they are jerks, I think it's ok to just send them to the netherlands of Jersey for a few months to settle them down a little. And if they aren't getting a new love, at least help them get a little ..... ummm, you know.
Thanks,
LB
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| Nov 9, 2008 @ 2:01 PM |
Dear Santa |
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mystery2u888
Posts: 18,064
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 very nice 
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| Nov 9, 2008 @ 2:03 PM |
Dear Santa
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drs297
Posts: 4,862
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 I might get a little
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| Nov 9, 2008 @ 2:06 PM |
Dear Santa |
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poniepower
Posts: 1,733
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 LB.....TFF!!!!
I'll be posting my letter to Santa in a little bit...Need to think of what I want from him 
[Edited on 11/9/2008 2:37 PM]
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| Nov 9, 2008 @ 2:23 PM |
Dear Santa
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Loreli
Posts: 25,410
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Dear Santa;
I can't write anything as spellbinding as LB, so....I guess I get coal this year 
(and I make darn good cookies!) HA!
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| Nov 9, 2008 @ 2:41 PM |
Dear Santa |
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poniepower
Posts: 1,733
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Dear Santa
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
Love,
(insert name here)
Dear (insert name here)
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your fat mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead.
Santa
I couldnt' resist....
I'm not really into the holiday season anymore My favorite saying..."Be naughty...save Santa the Trip"...LOL
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| Nov 9, 2008 @ 2:44 PM |
Dear Santa
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Loreli
Posts: 25,410
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| Nov 9, 2008 @ 2:47 PM |
Dear Santa |
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Jalon
Posts: 1,611
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Dear Santa,
This year I will ask for one thing for myself, and that is to maintain sanity and gain peace. If you can gift me with this, Santa, I think I will be able to manage all the rest. For everyone else, please send them contentment and a nice bottle of their favorite whisky/vodka/wine.
Thanks,
Jalon
This note could just as easily be addressed to God!!
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| Nov 9, 2008 @ 2:50 PM |
Dear Santa
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poniepower
Posts: 1,733
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Dear Santa Claus,
This year, I have been a very Ritalin-addled lady. I have compulsively pillaged all single men ages 18~82 in Praire du Chien, and I'm always helping my other x boyfriends with their pyramid schemes. And I always say thank you, which makes me seem like I care, and so I deserve lots of blank checks this year!
Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my 2nd to oldest daughter, please bring Valium. For my next boyfriend, (whomever it may be), please bring a new Viagra prescription. For my best friend, please bring a carton Newport Lights 100’s, and a kegger. For my youngest daughter, a chastity belt, and my youngest son, comdoms, God knows he's out there doing it...My oldest daughter, as much money as you can steal...For my ferret, please bring non-surgical sterilization. Oh – and for my maid, please bring some work ethic.
Now about me! Please bring me all of the Spongebob Squarepants pajamas, and front row tickets to Seether – plus backstage passes so I can get into the lead singers pants...er i mean behind the scenes! Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my Lamborghini Diablo VT 6.0. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just TO GET LAID!!
Anyway, I hope you like the meatloaf I left out for you.
Breathlessly,
Jini
PS: Please say hello to Ralph, the heartless Elfin slavemaster.
PPS: Oh yeah, and remember my ex husband? He has been a really selfish weener all year long and doesn’t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put dog shit in his stocking. Thanks!
[Edited on 11/9/2008 2:56 PM]
[Edited on 11/9/2008 2:57 PM]
[Edited on 11/9/2008 3:09 PM]
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| Nov 9, 2008 @ 3:09 PM |
Dear Santa |
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lazareth
Posts: 1,473
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Dear Santa,
All I want for Christmas is to be able to go home and see my family..... please
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| Nov 9, 2008 @ 4:47 PM |
Dear Santa
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redhairNfreckles
Posts: 4,694
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Dear Santa,
I want or need nothing in my old age. Besides, I'm getting a brand new toilet (and a few other things) so what more could a person want? But if you do happen to just stop by for the snacks, watch out for the slippery, tin roof. You'll fall and bust your ass before you knew what happened, and then probaly sue me.... 
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| Nov 9, 2008 @ 7:20 PM |
Dear Santa |
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beckyiv42000
Posts: 14,576
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Dear Santa, God, who ever 
Since I know you worked on your vacation and brought me Mac during the summer break Im good to go this year and for many to come hopefully  btw thanks Now there is one thing if you could put in a good word with the person who grants divorces here in Cali..that would be appreciated .. For my Mac a wonderful vacation weekend in the mtns he could use a break oh and Ill make sure he has a good time too  For my brats all of them need NOTHING please bring NOTHING more into my house.. Maybe a vacation for my oldest and her hubby ... a maid service for my youngest for her room  and my son hmmm his puter up and running again??  but please OH PLEASE my house cannot hold anymore!!! For my sis a dance partner  For my sis in law... well you can figure out that... she so hard to get stuff for.. and for everyone else .. happiness and love and for the good people of MD... it would be totally awesome if you could arrange a gathering in say hmmm Vegas or something for us all Thanks
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| Nov 9, 2008 @ 7:57 PM |
Dear Santa
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Loreli
Posts: 25,410
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Dear Santa,
I'm not picky.
Just leave your sleigh on the roof like always, and go to Starbucks....
I'll unload it for ya
signed
well, you do know
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| Nov 9, 2008 @ 8:55 PM |
Dear Santa |
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meanjolene
Posts: 480
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Santa Baby,
Hi, Santa. Remember me? Once you brought me everything on my list. I was fifteen and very innocent. I think you did it because I made good grades.
Things are very different now, Santa. If you bring me anything, it will be only because ya like me,. And maybe for the surprise that awaits YOU. 
Plan to rest Rudolph and all the others here for awhile, you can get in my hot tub and warm yourself, I'll see to some cocktails and we can catch up, ok?
Santa, remember me.
Jolene, singing "been an awful good girl, slip a sable under the tree tonight.."
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| Nov 9, 2008 @ 9:00 PM |
Dear Santa
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poniepower
Posts: 1,733
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More than anything, the only thing I will request is that the good people of MD have a safe and happy Christmas.
also hope that for those looking to find a partner or significant other, you can guide them in the right direction in their efforts to find each other.
Thank You LB.....
Dear Santa...God,
The only thing I want from you this year and the years to come, is for me to find that "inner peace for myself. I want to live a happy life from now on. I'm tired of worries, grieving, and heartache!! Also, one more thing if you would, Make sure Jason is "ok"??
Watch Over My Loved Ones and Friends
Thank You,
Jini
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| Nov 11, 2008 @ 8:31 PM |
Dear Santa |
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daisy315
Posts: 4,946
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Please send me two working headlights for my car.. can you deliver early?.. Like TOMORROW?
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| Nov 12, 2008 @ 6:52 AM |
Dear Santa
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dreamlover4U
Posts: 1,082
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Dearest Santa,
I have been naughty this year. Please send two elves, I am in need of a spanking.
Yours truly,
Dream
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| Nov 12, 2008 @ 6:56 AM |
Dear Santa |
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drs297
Posts: 4,862
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Dear Santa
You know what I want
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| Nov 12, 2008 @ 7:23 AM |
Dear Santa
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Coven4nt
Posts: 822
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I ... Cant ... Type ... Keyboard.... dead...Santa ... Gimme ... New ... (((Puff)))
poniepower ...
Santa heard your call and gave me a new valium prescription
crazy as it seems  im flying high
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| Nov 12, 2008 @ 7:38 AM |
Dear Santa |
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KatiefromStafford
Posts: 2,750
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Dear Santa,
All I really need this Christmas is a brain that can actually retain the information I am reading long enough for me to pass the certification test I have to pass to keep my job. My long waited for gift will be arriving a bit early (Dec. 3rd!) and will be here for most of the month, so I am good to go on that score! 
Just find a way for my sieve of a brain to keep enough information to pass that exam. (I really hate tests! /sigh)
I have been experimenting making cookies. The milk is easy. Should have snuck into the kitchen more when my ex was out of town; I am so out of practice cooking. 
Please have a Merry Christmas, Santa. I know this is the busy time of year for you, maybe you could get the Mrs. to take a vacation once the season is over. Someplace nice and warm.. ever been to Hawaii? Except on business, of course? Maybe take a few weeks off, and soak up some sun!
Your faithful believer (since I was 4!)
Katie
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