| Nov 30, 2008 @ 2:51 PM |
Favorite Holiday Songs :D
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DiamondRain
Posts: 6,354
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Those heart warming time tested standards we all love. 
I'll Be Stoned For Christmas
I'll Be Stoned For Christmas
You can count on me
Please have Strohs and Michelob
And a place for me to pee
I'll see Mom on Christmas
I'll treat her rude and crude
Yes, I'll be home for Christ ... mas
If only for free food
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| Nov 30, 2008 @ 3:20 PM |
Favorite Holiday Songs :D |
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wiccked
Posts: 12,300
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can't top that one, DR.........  
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| Nov 30, 2008 @ 3:35 PM |
Favorite Holiday Songs :D
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robodad
Posts: 7,823
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(tune of jingle bells)
Christmas bills
Christmas bills
pi-led on the floor
Everyday the mailman comes
And brings a dozen more
OH!!!!!!!
Christmas bills
Christmas bills
I'll go broke and then...
When next Christmas comes around
I'll do it all again
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| Nov 30, 2008 @ 3:45 PM |
Favorite Holiday Songs :D |
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 13,645
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not for the timid...
http://www.sumo.tv/watch.php?video=3278513
(R rated)
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| Dec 1, 2008 @ 11:33 PM |
Favorite Holiday Songs :D
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redhairNfreckles
Posts: 4,688
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We Three Kings...
We three Kings of Orient are,
Chewing on a rubber cigar.
It was loaded, it exploded,
Sending us a far.
(continue to sing normal chorus...)
I remember one year in elementary school having to sing this song as a group in our special Christmas pagent (when they were still allowed). This kid whom I had a huge crush on since Kindergarten, changed the first verse around a bit. He was standing right alongside of me, so I heard every word. I totally lost it and the music teacher glared at us for the rest of the song..... After all these years, whenever I hear that Christmas Carol, I think of Jay.
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| Dec 1, 2008 @ 11:39 PM |
Favorite Holiday Songs :D |
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robodad
Posts: 7,823
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(tune of Winter Wonderland)
Doorbells ring
It's the season
And you know
What's the reason
There's someone out there
Asking their share
Sticking out their greedy little hand
First to come
Is the Doorman
He'll complain
That he's a poor man.
The janitor's next
On some weak pretext
Sticking out his greedy little hand
Then will come your superintendant's visit
He'll knock on your door loud and long
You will open up and ask, "What is it?"
He'll just smile and sing a Christmas song
Later on
You'll get cash up
For the man
Who picks the trash up
How happy they're here
for one day a year
Sticking out their greedy little hand
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| Dec 1, 2008 @ 11:43 PM |
Favorite Holiday Songs :D
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DiamondRain
Posts: 6,354
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And another old favorite to the same tune /\
Walkin' 'Round in Women's Underwear
Lacy things -- the wife is missin',
Didn't ask -- her permission,
I'm wearin' her clothes,
Her silk pantyhose,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear.
In the store -- there's a teddy,
Little straps -- like spaghetti,
It holds me so tight,
Like handcuffs at night,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear.
In the office there's a guy named Melvin,
He pretends that I am Murphy Brown.
He'll say, "Are you ready?" I'll say,"Whoa, Man!"
"Let's wait until our wives are out of town!"
Later on, if you wanna,
We can dress -- like Madonna,
Put on some eyeshade,
And join the parade,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear!
Lacy things... missin',
Didn't ask... permission,
Wearin' her clothes,
Her silk pantyhose,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear!
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| Dec 2, 2008 @ 12:23 AM |
Favorite Holiday Songs :D |
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bardnsage
Posts: 1,171
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Jingle Bombs
This years hit.
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| Dec 2, 2008 @ 12:35 AM |
Favorite Holiday Songs :D
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Meadowlark8
Posts: 686
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They play this one on a crazy radio station in East Haven, Connecticut.
A predominantly ethnic Italian neighborhood....
To the tune of "It's Christmas Time In the City"
Din-ga-ling!
Ba-da-Bing!
It's Christmas Time, in East Haven....
Mama's cookin
Vinny's Bookin
Greeting smile after smile
And in da air,
There's a feelin of Christmas....
Can't remember the rest, but it's hysterical...
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| Dec 2, 2008 @ 10:37 AM |
Favorite Holiday Songs :D |
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DiamondRain
Posts: 6,354
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`Twas Da Night Befo` Christmas In Da Hood
Twas da night befo' Christmas and all in the hood
Not a homie was stirring cuz it was all good
The tube socks was hung on the window sill
and we all had smiles up on our grill
Mookie and BeBe was snug in the crib
in the back bedroom cuz that's how we live
and moms in her do-rag and me with my nine
had just gotten busy cuz girlfriend is fine
All of a sudden a lowrider rolled by
Bumpin phat beats cuz the system's fly
I bounced to the window at a quarter pas'
Bout ready to pop a cap in somebody's--
well anyway
I yelled to my lady, Yo peep this!
She said, Stop frontin just mind yo' bidness
I said, for real doe, come check dis out
We weren't even buggin, no worries, no doubt
Cuz bumpin an thumpin' from around da way
Was Santa, 8 reindeer and a sleigh
Da beats was kickin, da ride was phat
I said, Yo red Dawg, you all that!
He threw up a sign and yelled to his boyz,
"Ay yo, give it up, let's make some noise!
To the top of the projects and across the strip mall,
We gots ta go, I got a booty call!"
He pulled up his ride on the top a da roof
and sippin on a 40, he busted a move
I yelled up to Santa, "Yo ain't got no stack!"
he said, "Damn homie, deese projects is wack!
But don't worry black, cuz I gots da skillz
I learnt back when I hadda pay da billz."
Out from his bag he pulled 3 small tings
a credit card, a knife, and a bobby pin.
he slid down the fire escape smoove as a cat
and busted the window with a b-ball bat
I said, "Whassup, Santa? Whydya bust my place?"
he said,"You best get on up out my face!"
His threads was all leatha, his chains was all gold
His sneaks was Puma and they was 5 years old
He dropped down the duffle, Clippers logo on the side
Santa broke out da loot and my mouf popped open wide.
A wink of his eye and a shine off his god toof
He cabbage patched his way back onto the roof
He jumped in his hooptie with rims made of chrome
To tap that booty waitin at home
and all I heard as he cruised outta sight
was a loud and hearty.....
"WEEESST SIIIIDE!!!!!!!"
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| Dec 2, 2008 @ 8:01 PM |
Favorite Holiday Songs :D
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DiamondRain
Posts: 6,354
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A Hood Christmas
twas the night before christmas and all through the hood
no one was set tripping so it was all good
the stockings were hung on the wall with some nails
dads back on heroin cause mom hit the trails
the kids were asleep all warm in their beds
with visions of murder invading their heads
the dogs kept on barking because of the noise
the kids were all hoping it was st. nick with toys
they looked out the window and what did they see
the neighborhood crackhead stealing their tv
they ran to the phone to call up the laws
while dad was chasing him down in his draws
the cops took too long and dad was to slow
the thief got away and dad got more blow
the kids have been good and nice all year long
but santa wasn't coming what did they do wrong
that christmas was something but it was not merry
cause santa was sleighjacked somewhere on east berry
as you can tell this is all messed up right
merry christmas to all and to all a hood night
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| Dec 3, 2008 @ 12:29 AM |
Favorite Holiday Songs :D |
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DiamondRain
Posts: 6,354
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Silent fart
Holy fart
Remain calm
Release your bomb
'Round the kitchen
Out from your chair
Little atoms of poop
In the air
Feel it silently creep
Watch as your friends breath in deep
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| Dec 23, 2008 @ 2:34 PM |
Favorite Holiday Songs :D
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mystery2u888
Posts: 18,025
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| Dec 25, 2008 @ 11:37 AM |
Favorite Holiday Songs :D |
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horizon000
Posts: 1,264
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Merry Xmas Myst.... 
* NOTE...
This song I am going to post contains very explicit and offensive language... Viewer discretion is advised...
Hey Santa Clause...
[Edited on 12/25/2008 11:43 AM]
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| Dec 25, 2008 @ 12:18 PM |
Favorite Holiday Songs :D
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leprichaun_magic
Posts: 953
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,,ohoh .. lol
Well ..how about ..mm "Bring me some Figgy Pudding...and....we wont go untill we ,ve got some .and ... 
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| Dec 25, 2008 @ 12:59 PM |
Favorite Holiday Songs :D |
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tahoma
Posts: 10,576
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I Believe in Father Christmas - Greg Lake
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| Dec 25, 2008 @ 1:04 PM |
Favorite Holiday Songs :D
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BeachCrete
Posts: 8,600
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I have always been kinda partial to this one. 
12 Drugs of Christmas
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| Dec 26, 2008 @ 7:18 PM |
Favorite Holiday Songs :D |
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scorpiogirl36
Posts: 4,002
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This one always made me laugh!
Gramma got run over by a Reindeer
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| Dec 26, 2008 @ 9:46 PM |
Favorite Holiday Songs :D
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thor22
Posts: 3,350
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don't remember the song, but that black guitar player chick in Paul Shaffer's band sings it every year before christmas on late night with david letterman...great tune and that woman sings it great...
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| Dec 26, 2008 @ 9:53 PM |
Favorite Holiday Songs :D |
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Merchitown
Posts: 6,129
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I remember singing the below in gradeschool. Daddy got such a kick out of it. I guess he liked the 12 days of Christmas about as much as I did.
The first day after Christmas
My true love and I had a fight
And so I chopped the pear tree down
And burnt it, just for spite
Then with a single cartridge
I shot that blasted partridge
My true love, my true love,
my true love gave to me.
The second day after Christmas
I pulled on the old rubber gloves
And very gently wrung the necks
Of both the turtle doves
My true love, my true love,
my true love gave to me.
On the third day after Christmas
My mother caught the croup
I had to use the three French hens
To make some chicken soup
The four calling birds were a big mistake
For their language was obscene
The five golden rings were completely fake
and turned my fingers green.
The sixth day after Christmas
The six laying geese wouldn't lay
So I sent the whole darn gaggle to the
A.S.P.C.A.
On the seventh day, what a mess I found
The seven swans-a-swimming all had drowned
My true love, my true love,
my true love gave to me.
The eighth day after Christmas
Before they could suspect
I bundled up the
Eight maids-a-milking
Nine ladies dancing
Ten lords-a-leaping
Eleven pipers piping
Twelve drummers drumming - well, actually I kept one of the dancing ladies -
And sent them back collect
I wrote my true love
"We are through, love!"
And I said in so many words
"Furthermore your Christmas gifts were for the Birds!"
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