| Jan 6, 2006 @ 12:55 AM |
State Your Opinion................
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Silvertongue62
Posts: 6,932
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I had the oportunity to speak with alot of people over the past few months here. One of the things that baffle me is why so many of us cant state our opinion without making it personal. Just because you dont agree with a person doesnt mean you have to be enemies or compete to win. It's not about winning, it's supposed to be discussing. Confrontational ploys never get results. Is it so bad that you dont have the same experiences as another ?
Our past experiences are what shape and mold our opinions. So each persons personal outlook on any given subject will inevitably be different. Is there any middle ground? Have we forgotten how to open our hearts as well as our minds to opinions other than our own. Can anyone share a thought or some light on this subject?
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| Jan 6, 2006 @ 1:07 AM |
State Your Opinion................ |
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Silvertongue62
Posts: 6,932
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Never the less it's an opinion !
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| Jan 6, 2006 @ 1:08 AM |
State Your Opinion................
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Pete73052
Posts: 19,368
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OK, then I agree with you - let's not make it personal. 
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| Jan 6, 2006 @ 1:13 AM |
State Your Opinion................ |
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Silvertongue62
Posts: 6,932
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LOL............ I knew it had to be funny. And I fell right into it. That was good.
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| Jan 6, 2006 @ 1:18 AM |
State Your Opinion................
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Solitaire
Posts: 1,140
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Personally...(yes, personally)...I like it when people state their opinions and are willing to stand up for what they believe. But therein lies the rub, right? There seems to be a difficulty for some to distinguish the difference between supporting their own opinion and attacking someone else 's on a personal level. The distiction comes from being able to separate disagreement of the belief, versus disliking the person who holds the belief.
Now if I were only so nobel as to be able to follow this 100% of the time ~sigh~
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| Jan 6, 2006 @ 1:22 AM |
State Your Opinion................ |
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Silvertongue62
Posts: 6,932
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I like that. It's good to know that there is someone that looks at both sides of the coin before going to the bank.
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| Jan 6, 2006 @ 1:36 AM |
State Your Opinion................
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Solitaire
Posts: 1,140
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Thanks Silver, but to be honest I have been known to at least on one occasion taken that coin, looked it over on both sides, then calmly place it on the railroad tracks as the 5:45 came blasting through. ~hanging head in acknowledged hypocritical shame~
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| Jan 6, 2006 @ 1:47 AM |
State Your Opinion................ |
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devonguy
Posts: 463
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Well I try and be ‘nice’ but I cant quite get the hang of the way you ‘yanks’ always throw in a personal insult before you state your views!
I.e. instead of saying = “ no I disagree. Red is my favourite colour”
You say = “what kind of dumb ass mother fu**r would like green over red”
I don’t even think you know that you do it! 
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| Jan 6, 2006 @ 1:48 AM |
State Your Opinion................
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Angel54214
Posts: 14,056
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Opinions are individual insight. What we experience, what we see and what we believe. People also have insight to change their opinions on same topic from different points of view. The melting pot of the forum contributers come from various places, cultures and gender ages. As individuals, we present what we know of something that relates in our own lives. What we prefer and what is best for us. A dispute that erupts from an opinion is just that; a dispute. No right, no wrong. I agree to disagree, that is fact. The results are opinions and points of view. There's no winner or loser, thats a fact. A question, results an answer; still is the oposer's opinion or train of thought on that question.
Accusations are signs of control. Control of a person's opinion or train of thought. That is a fact. Threats are action towards a person that contributed an opinion or train of thought. That is fact. Words state their fact. An apology is an insight to these and it is a fact.
The tongue is the most dangerous weapon a human being can have or a most loving tool a human being can have. You can't lose with the loving tool, but with the dangerous weapon, the love can silent it. The silence is by leaving a path named respect. Thats the best I can describe this topic on my contribution.
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| Jan 6, 2006 @ 2:09 AM |
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Classy_Blonde
Posts: 6,034
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Dev,
You are one interesting man. Until your new pic, I thought you were in your late 20's. No kidding. That's a compliment, BTW.
Your sense of humor is very refreshing, and when people get angry with you because they think you are serious, I laugh like a crazy woman.
Keep it up. I think you've given me another set of laugh wrinkles. Wish I could join you for a glass of ale at the pub. Darn it.
Solitaire,
You said it for me, but in a much nicer way. I am also guilty of losing my cool at times. I am trying to learn more self discipline, but I'm a stubborn student. 
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| Jan 6, 2006 @ 5:51 AM |
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CynCity
Posts: 556
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I've often wondered, if we were all sitting around a huge table, in real life/real time, would the insults flow so freely?
From my experience, most times I have seen the type of aggression and personal attacks I've witnessed in various forums (and I don't necessarily mean here), was in a bar just before the drunk was dragged out by the bouncers.
And Devon, I think people are well aware they do it, they just don't care at that particular moment.
My rule of thumb is, if my kids would be disappointed reading what I've written, I'd better not post it.
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| Jan 6, 2006 @ 6:01 AM |
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sciurusniger
Posts: 2,959
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The anonymity of the internet. It's way too easy to get caught up in the "atmosphere", so to speak, and shoot your opinion out into cyberspace, forgetting all the while that there are real, live, thinking (I hope...haha) and feeling human beings on the receiving end of your opinion.
I write, read, rewrite, read again, and rewrite before posting almost everything. My main question is always: does any included "editorial comment" serve any positive purpose? 99% of the time the answer is no, and it is edited out before I hit "post".
When I post, I expect that there will be people who disagree with me. I also expect that there will be some who haven't any manners online. What I don't do is bother getting upset about it and start a pissing contest with them. Sometimes I will respond once, but only to point out how their response could be received negatively. But again, I don't cling to any great expectations that they will "get it".
Smart-ass is different that abject cruelty. I often wonder what would happen if some posters were having some of these conversations in real-time? My thoughts tend to go full-circle back to my first statement....
To Cyn: your last point is a very good one. I think many posts would be more "rational", so to speak, if people realized that they could well one day be judged for the words they use online with and towards others.
[Edited on 1/6/2006 6:03 AM]
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| Jan 6, 2006 @ 6:28 AM |
State Your Opinion................
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,791
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 I came close to losing my cool once..but I did apologize for my remark.. 
You shouldn`t let someone else's opinion of you become your reality..and if opinions were stated slightly differant there wouldn`t be a problem..you may be conveying your opinion in a differant way then what you meant too,in a way that will hurt or offend someone..And Silver is right..we are all a Product of our past..and that effects what we do and say today..I think people just need to stop and think before they do state an opinion..and those who fail to apologize or take back their opnions that they know aren`t right are those who love themselves more then they love the truth. 
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| Jan 6, 2006 @ 8:21 AM |
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MischeviousAngel
Posts: 277
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I am occasionally guilty of taking things personally. OTOH I have no problem giving my opinion if I have one and I can be an opinionated wench. I openly admit to being a slightly sarcastic smart a$$...people from here who have met me in person will tell you that there isn't any difference between the "me" that one meets online and the "real" me.
My thought process is maybe a little different than most though... Most people appear to be overly concerned about whether or not people like them. I on the other hand don't care if someone likes me, loves me or hates me because all three feelings are based on opinion and I don't have the time, energy or inclination (mostly the latter) to want to change someone's opinion of me.
There are a few around here that I would LOVE to sit down at the dining room table with a pot of coffee (or tea) and pick their brains. There are also a few that I wouldn't give my hotmail address to, let alone invite into my home for coffee.
I sit here and watch the same people consistently shread someone based on what they THINK they read instead of what the person actually said and it annoys the living daylights out of me that supposed adults don't remember something that every second grader knows... reading comprehension. If you don't understand what the person said then for God's sake ASK for clarification instead of ripping someone else to shreads.
Now... I am going to zip my lips and still my fingers...
Angel
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| Jan 6, 2006 @ 8:46 AM |
State Your Opinion................
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 15,333
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Once in awhile I'll bite, then kick myself. Some people seem to thrive on confrontation, and actually seem to enjoy the personal attack/exchanges. Personally, I'd prefer a root canal. I enjoy debate and discussion, and have even been known to allow a rational argument to change my views, but I've never been much impressed by the brute force approach, whether verbal or physical.
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| Jan 6, 2006 @ 9:40 AM |
State Your Opinion................ |
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Greystone1
Posts: 1,677
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Just because you dont agree with a person doesnt mean you have to be enemies or compete to win.
Ideally, we could/should simply agree to disagree. To each his/her own. Unfortunately, we live in a world where popular opinions become rules/laws with winners and losers. This gives opinions a sense of urgency. Personally, I am used to people disagreeing with me. I have my say and they have their say, and then I shut up... usually.
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| Jan 6, 2006 @ 10:45 AM |
State Your Opinion................
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Mischief484
Posts: 645
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Smart-ass is different that abject cruelty. I often wonder what would happen if some posters were having some of these conversations in real-time? My thoughts tend to go full-circle back to my first statement....
I've wondered the very same thing. I'm proud to say that I'm just as much of an exasperating smarty pants in person as I am online. It's all about consistency.
I'd probably pay to see your unedited posts, though.
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| Jan 6, 2006 @ 10:46 AM |
State Your Opinion................ |
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Pete73052
Posts: 19,368
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Good thread, BTW - it's like talking at the dinner table about our family problems. 
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| Jan 6, 2006 @ 11:37 AM |
State Your Opinion................
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taljasc
Posts: 5
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We all break over the rule two or three times in our lives and fire a disagreeable and unpopular private opinion of ours into print, but we never do it when we can help it, we never do it except when the desire to do it is too strong for us and overrides and conquers our cold, calm, wise judgment.
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| Jan 6, 2006 @ 11:40 AM |
State Your Opinion................ |
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Silvertongue62
Posts: 6,932
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Taljasc are you say that we all possess a quality of having cool, calm wise judgements but temptation lures us in?
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