| Jan 10, 2006 @ 11:59 PM |
Baggage.....What does this mean to each of us????
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sissycat411
Posts: 1,248
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I read profiles and see mention of people not wanting anyone with "Baggage", so I'm curious what this means to each of us.......Is "baggage" the experiences we have through life that shapes who we are.....or is it the emotional way we feel and view things??? Is it the people we have loved and shared a space of time in our lives.....or is it the things we expereinced that we will not tolerate again..... I'm curious as to what this means to others........
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| Jan 11, 2006 @ 12:34 AM |
Baggage.....What does this mean to each of us???? |
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lookingforfun147
Posts: 55
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Baggage is when you take bad things to the next relationship....if someone was abusive to you in a past relationship and you bring that to the next relationship and expect that they are going to do the same and you keep on mentioning it over and over again....
At least thats what it means in my eyes......
Everyone is different so why not go with the flow and take what comes to you judge every individual not by the species.....
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| Jan 11, 2006 @ 12:46 AM |
Baggage.....What does this mean to each of us????
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sissycat411
Posts: 1,248
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Looking..... good answer..... but let me add this element.... If a woman left an emotional, mental, physically abusive marriage with a broken jaw, almost killed....... and having had that experience....... would not tolerate being around a man who showed signs of not respecting women.... felt women deserved to be treated less than with respect and your new guy had a best friend that displayed that mentality.... and you said...... Because of the past experience I had..... I dont wish to associate with your best buddy and we can have no future unless you detach from him........ could not the friend say..... Dude you dont need her.... she has issues and baggage.......?? I'm just curious
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| Jan 11, 2006 @ 1:04 AM |
Baggage.....What does this mean to each of us???? |
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lookingforfun147
Posts: 55
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It is up to the man and if he feels right about the relationship then he should always choose you. Also if his best buddy is disrespectable to women and your man does not see that then isnt he also disrespecting you by not saying anything to his buddy in the first place. If this is so then you dont need him. A person, man or woman, should always listen to their own heart, mind, body and soul and never listen to others because more than likely they are just jealous anyway.
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| Jan 11, 2006 @ 8:07 AM |
Baggage.....What does this mean to each of us????
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Greystone1
Posts: 1,677
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I would never be with a woman who picked my friends for me. That is sooooooooooo controlling.
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| Jan 11, 2006 @ 8:20 AM |
Baggage.....What does this mean to each of us???? |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 18,605
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I would never be with a woman who picked my friends for me. That is sooooooooooo controlling.
Change woman to man, and that goes for me too. We're all the products of our experiences; As for being controlled, I've been there, done that, not ever going back there again. If his friend's not acceptable to you, there's a good chance that he isn't either. That's your call; who his friends are is his.
I'm not sure that I'd think that avoiding the intolerable should be called 'baggage' as much as painfully acquired education. To me, baggage implies reactions to things that are beyond what we might call reasonable. An extreme case would be a rape victim who can't tolerate being touched. Eventually she'll heal and the baggage will be integrated as experience and would no longer be baggage. But that's just the way I'd view it.
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| Jan 11, 2006 @ 8:28 AM |
Baggage.....What does this mean to each of us????
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,813
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It is in my experiences that we get what we ask for. There are wondeful men out there that are not leftovers...they are working on themselves to be a good catch for some very lucky woman. We must have hope and know that there are wonderful men out there....thoughts are so powerful..you will attract what you think about. Intend to meet the man you desire and you will (when the time is right) until then, have fun with yourself and play with life enjoying every single moment! Love happens when you least expect it. 
I don't think it's a matter of people having baggage... As we get older there is an increased chance that we will meet people that have experienced more out of life... Sometimes those experiences are going to be good, and sometimes they will be not so good. I personally look at all experiences as something that help define me as a person, and in terms of my setbacks in the romance department I look at them as a guide not only to myself, but to what I'm looking for in a partner 
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| Jan 11, 2006 @ 12:26 PM |
Baggage.....What does this mean to each of us???? |
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sissycat411
Posts: 1,248
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I would never be with a woman who picked my friends for me. That is sooooooooooo controlling
Greystone...you are so correct regarding picking friends.....My point was she also had a choice to not be around someone who reminded her of a sad time in her life....or that because of her life experences she could not respect and chose not to associate with..... we all chose our close friends..... each in this situation has the right to make choices..... but is her reasoning considered "baggage" or just an educated, experience related choice rather than a "control" issue??? it is important to communicate with each other...... some things just happen to be "deal breakers" others can be worked out..... if there is deep caring... its all choices..... 
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| Apr 24, 2007 @ 11:37 AM |
Baggage.....What does this mean to each of us????
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satinlady149
Posts: 16
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To many people take baggage from one relationship 2 the other..without having that time 2 heal..this is where the next relationship fails..just gotta leave it all bhind and move on. 
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| Apr 24, 2007 @ 11:40 AM |
Baggage.....What does this mean to each of us???? |
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julia143
Posts: 1,696
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We all have 'baggage"! Some overpacked for the trip called life.....but we have the option of leaving some of it behind.....
"Baggage" to me means = the problems you carry with you at any given time.......
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| Apr 24, 2007 @ 11:52 AM |
Baggage.....What does this mean to each of us????
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thegoodideaman
Posts: 1,915
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Amen Sista
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| Apr 24, 2007 @ 11:15 PM |
Baggage.....What does this mean to each of us???? |
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Eldermint
Posts: 114
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Baggage is seeing the world through rose-colored glasses and then trying to change it into the world you think you want it to be. It never works out when you distort things like that.
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| Apr 25, 2007 @ 10:33 AM |
Baggage.....What does this mean to each of us????
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Monsterboy
Posts: 287
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Baggage = lessons learned from previous negative situations.
The problem comes when people learn the wrong lessons, like "Men are all cheating bastards," or "Women will hurt you if given a chance," or "Relationships are really about control and struggling to be on top."
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| Apr 25, 2007 @ 11:40 AM |
Baggage.....What does this mean to each of us???? |
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burnslikethesun
Posts: 13,027
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we all have it, this baggage. We ALLL have it. the trick is how do ya carry yours?!
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| Apr 25, 2007 @ 12:24 PM |
Baggage.....What does this mean to each of us????
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painter007
Posts: 17,854
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yes we all have baggage and it sometimes brings out its ugly head but it takes a willing person and gentle person to help the other get thru it.....instead of shooting spitwads.
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| Apr 25, 2007 @ 2:41 PM |
Baggage.....What does this mean to each of us???? |
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capitalview
Posts: 758
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sissycat411
If a woman ... would not tolerate being around a man who showed signs of not respecting women.... felt women deserved to be treated less than with respect and your new guy had a best friend that displayed that mentality....
Remember , sissy : man's friends ALWAYS treat his woman the way HE wants/lets them. It won't be long that he starts treating you the same way. Something keeps him from doing it right away, but it's clear that this is what he wants to do himself.
Did you ever watch "d*ck flicks"? Correction officers are not allowed to beat the prisoner up, but they have no problem if they want to do it - they just lock him with some big tatooed all over dude who knows what he's free to do...  That's what is happening to you now , your sadistic guy deliberately forces you to deal with his abusive buddy and enjoys watching you suffering. If this is not what women call "red flag", they must have no self-preservation instinct... 
I strongly suggest that you dump the freak now, before you got into trouble again.
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| Apr 25, 2007 @ 9:06 PM |
Baggage.....What does this mean to each of us????
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newlife2006
Posts: 859
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I totally agree with capitalview , sissy.
Men who are underdogs among their buddies ( and your bf is obviously one of those , since he demonstrated lack of ability to control their behavior towards his partner ) - such men tend to compensate their frustration of being loser among males by playing "tough guy" with women and children. Run as fast as you can ...and next time make sure you've got a winner... 
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| Sep 8 @ 6:24 AM |
Baggage.....What does this mean to each of us???? |
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Nightowl001
Posts: 7,495
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Resurrecting this old thread because I'm interested in the original question. What IS baggage. And how do you "deal with it"?
I think a lot of us can recognize the experience of having stepped on an emotional "landmine" we didn't know was there, where the reaction to something we said or did seemed inappropriate to some degree or other, from our perspective. And, I know at my age, I've not gotten here without developing a few raw spots along the way. But I'm not sure where the difference lies between "things I've learned I do not like and don't want in my life," and "baggage."
Thoughts?
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| Sep 8 @ 6:56 AM |
Baggage.....What does this mean to each of us????
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BandTMom
Posts: 38,042
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Dunno...many people think of children as "baggage".
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