| Jan 19, 2006 @ 1:51 PM |
Ladies:Is your man your "project"
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Thor1960303
Posts: 1,874
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I never have understood why many women,as soon as they get a guy,they want to mold and make him over in their image so to speak.I've dated women that wanted to change my wardrobe,career plans,music I listen to,life habits and religion.I mean if you're attracted to them enough to go out with them and call them your boyfriends,why do you want to change them?Is it the challenge?Is it part of the motherhood instinct left over from training children (I've seen this is women than didn't have kids)?I don't get it.I finally accepted monogamy when I found a woman that had no desire to change anything about me.
DISCLAIMER:This is NOT intended to generalize!Before I get flamed for painting all women with a broad brush,please remember this is based only on my own personal observations and experience.It by no means is a representation of all women.
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| Jan 19, 2006 @ 1:56 PM |
Ladies:Is your man your "project" |
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waiting41
Posts: 1,926
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 @Thor because he is so right on the $ with this one.
Why don't these women just find someone that is already "perfect" in there eyes? Or would that defeat the whole purpose of attempting to "control" everything about him? Love and accept him for who he is or leave him for someone that will. And, guys, watch out for these women......cause if you put up with this there is something equally wrong with you. 
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| Jan 19, 2006 @ 1:56 PM |
Ladies:Is your man your "project"
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Snappygoddess
Posts: 3,814
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I mean if you're attracted to them enough to go out with them and call them your boyfriends,why do you want to change them?I
I totally agree 
My boyfriend can't believe that I am not trying to make him give up football or change him in any way....like I told him.. I knew what he liked, did and preferred before we got together.. those are things you accept when you get involved with someone just as they accept that you have things that you like untouched. It's all about mutual respect and acceptance.
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| Jan 19, 2006 @ 3:13 PM |
Ladies:Is your man your "project" |
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lecriveuse
Posts: 1,865
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thor, don't forget the guys who want to mimic red cross and want to "save" women. omgosh, i can only hope these people won't breed!
love the disclaimer; second i've seen here. lol. maybe some people feel the need to seek and find others to fix because they're personally lacking themselves. perhaps they find some sort of redemption if they can point to another and say "la voila! the finished product". who knows  --
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| Jan 19, 2006 @ 3:39 PM |
Ladies:Is your man your "project"
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Thor1960303
Posts: 1,874
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You're right,Lec,there are some guys who do this as well.However on another site someone suggested that since women are the nurturers of the world,they tend to do this more.One guy said,"Women start out by dressing their dolls and when they grow up WE (guys) become their dolls."
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| Jan 19, 2006 @ 3:53 PM |
Ladies:Is your man your "project" |
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,791
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I don`t want somebody to try and change me,so why would I want to change anyone..and psssssssssssssttttt if he isn`t old enough to dress himself then he isn`t old enough for me... 
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| Jan 19, 2006 @ 4:10 PM |
Ladies:Is your man your "project"
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Pete73052
Posts: 19,368
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I'd suggest that many relationships go south when people change each other so much they no longer love the person they have created.
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| Jan 19, 2006 @ 4:15 PM |
Ladies:Is your man your "project" |
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wandaful123
Posts: 1,511
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I have been guilty of this, I'll be the first to admit it. Where do you think the old satement came from "Behind every great man is an even greater woman" or something along that line anyway. At the risk of insulting men, which is not my intention... Why is it when you look around and see single men, never been married, up to and even in their 40's, they rarely have anything material to show for themselves. Before we get off on the "materialistc" tangent, let me say I mean as in things that will make their lives comfortable in the future. Often no savings, no home no future goals. I think as much as some women like to nurture and guide, some men, note I said some, also require this. A good woman helps to stabilze a man and gives him a reason to work towards a future.
Remember the movie "As good as it gets" when Jack Nicholson said "You make me want to be a better man". What's wrong with that?
Ducks and runs....
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| Jan 19, 2006 @ 4:54 PM |
Ladies:Is your man your "project"
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Thor1960303
Posts: 1,874
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Remember the movie "As good as it gets" when Jack Nicholson said "You make me want to be a better man". What's wrong with that?
**************
Nothing is wrong with that,I suppose,but the values which you express are not always important to other people.Some folks are perfectly happy to live day to day living in simple,modest apartments.
Success and happy life means different things to different people.
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| Jan 19, 2006 @ 5:42 PM |
Ladies:Is your man your "project" |
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wandaful123
Posts: 1,511
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So true and well said, but what about retirement? how are they gonna take care of themselves financially then, whose gonna pay the rent?
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| Jan 19, 2006 @ 6:45 PM |
Ladies:Is your man your "project"
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raykl
Posts: 566
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So true and well said, but what about retirement? how are they gonna take care of themselves financially then, whose gonna pay the rent?
And God said, "man looks lonely and poor, thus I will create
a woman to take care of his needs"
I think that's in the bible!!!! 
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| Jan 19, 2006 @ 6:58 PM |
Ladies:Is your man your "project" |
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wandaful123
Posts: 1,511
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And God said, "man looks lonely and poor, thus I will create
a woman to take care of his needs"
To tell the truth, I thought I would get alot of arguements, healthy of course, on my opinion. I am very surprised. Perhaps there are many more that agree with this than I thought? I think men and woman should compliment each other. Nobody can truely change another. A persons core will remain the same but growth, with a partner, can surely not be bad? And lets face it, on the lighter side, you can usually pick out a single man by the way he dressed! 
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| Jan 19, 2006 @ 7:24 PM |
Ladies:Is your man your "project"
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raykl
Posts: 566
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And lets face it, on the lighter side, you can usually pick out a single man by the way he dressed!
Hey! I represent that comment.....
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| Jan 19, 2006 @ 7:33 PM |
Ladies:Is your man your "project" |
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waiting41
Posts: 1,926
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I agree with raykl
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| Jan 19, 2006 @ 7:37 PM |
Ladies:Is your man your "project"
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wandaful123
Posts: 1,511
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Hey! I represent that comment.....
Hey Ray, is that the same as... hey! I resemble that remark? 
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| Jan 20, 2006 @ 5:15 AM |
Ladies:Is your man your "project" |
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beatriceistheone
Posts: 152
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I believe controlling a SO/bf-gf isn't some gender specific issue. I've met many who even on the 1st or 2nd date, not even a solid relationship by the long shot, trying to tell me what I should do with my life. If they are this pushy even with a stranger I wonder what they will be like once there is something serious.
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| Jan 20, 2006 @ 7:09 AM |
Ladies:Is your man your "project"
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Greystone1
Posts: 1,677
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I think there is a huge difference between bringing out the best in each other and changing each other. We should both be supportive.
I also believe in division of labor. If I am good at A and you are good at B, then everything gets done and we both are better for it. Don't try to make me good at B or belittle me for my shortcomings, and I won't try to make you good at A or belittle you for your shortcomings.
[Edited on 1/20/2006 8:16 AM]
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| Jan 20, 2006 @ 8:32 AM |
Ladies:Is your man your "project" |
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Greystone1
Posts: 1,677
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A good woman helps to stabilze a man and gives him a reason to work towards a future.
Strong where we are weak and weak where we are strong, coupled with respect for each other's abilities, makes for a successful partnership. Celebrate the differences.
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| Jan 20, 2006 @ 8:40 AM |
Ladies:Is your man your "project"
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waiting41
Posts: 1,926
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Having a hard time leaving this thread this morning Grey? Does it just keep pulling you back? Calling your name?
Go get some coffee and relax in the dating threads for awhile.
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| Jan 20, 2006 @ 9:41 AM |
Ladies:Is your man your "project" |
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Greystone1
Posts: 1,677
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Or I could go to work. That's the other option.
Damned job interferes with my fun. 
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