| Jan 20, 2006 @ 3:27 PM |
Is it okay to use corporal punishment with kids??
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Utopia296
Posts: 237
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I say yes. I believe alot of parents are just to easy on their kids nowadays. I certainly would never hit my son in the face
or go overboard and cause him physical harm , but if I feel
he needs a good swift kick in the behind or a slight knock to
the back of his head for doing something he knows was stupid and wrong I would do it. Luckily I have communicated
well with my son in the past and I continue to do so but he
does know where I draw the line. My parents were'nt afraid
to put a foot in my butt when I was growing up for doing something stupid or for doing something I knew was wrong and I never complained about it or even thought about running to the police to press charges against them. I did'nt like them
very much after they did it , but I respected them always and I
thank them for not being afraid to teach me a lesson.
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| Jan 20, 2006 @ 3:35 PM |
Is it okay to use corporal punishment with kids?? |
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Mischief484
Posts: 643
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When they're very young, I say no. This teaches children to solve problems using violence. When they get older, things change. That bop on the back of the head comes with a completely different message than the spanking they got at age three or four.
My ex (who is a fantastic mom) and I never once had to physically discipline our children. It takes a lot more patience and consistent application of the rules, but I think it works best in the long term.
Simple rules. Consistent application. Consequences for breaking the rules.
Boys are harder to keep on the straight and narrow than girls. I come from a family of all boys. My kids are all girls. I'm a big believer in female responsibility. They just seem to "Get it" better.
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| Jan 20, 2006 @ 3:36 PM |
Is it okay to use corporal punishment with kids??
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,708
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Well..I guess its ok if you don`t go over board on the punishment...
My parents knew how to use a belt.. 
Well wasn`t used on me ..my brothers and sisters used to get it all the time..I never did anything wrong to warrant being punished...while they were out getting in trouble i was off reading a book...
I never layed a hand on kids (or foot)..but I had my reasons.. 
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| Jan 20, 2006 @ 3:45 PM |
Is it okay to use corporal punishment with kids?? |
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altogirl67
Posts: 1,309
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Well, I think that a smack on the butt to get their attention is sometimes necessary. Also, when I was a kid in school, the fear of the paddle kept me in line lots of times.
I do not think that hitting kids is smart when they're too young to reason with verbally. I saw a family member smack a little family member for hitting recently. Basically, the 2-year-old hit the adult and the adult smacked her (without pain or injury) and told her not to hit. Can you imagine how confusing that is to a little person who is learning and trying to figure everything out? I also see people around Christmas who are constantly onto their little ones to leave the gifts alone but then on Christmas morning they shove the same gifts at them and tell them to rip them open! You should see the confusion on their little faces! They look at you suspiciously as though they are asking "is this a set-up?"
I think as long as the signals are not mixed, thereby simply causing confusion for the child, and no injury or long-term pain is involved, that it is ok. I got my butt busted when I was a kid and look how wonderful I turned out!
[Edited on 1/20/2006 3:54 PM]
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| Jan 20, 2006 @ 3:51 PM |
Is it okay to use corporal punishment with kids??
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Utopia296
Posts: 237
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I have to agree with everything that you said altogirl67.
Exellent reply!!!! 
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| Jan 20, 2006 @ 4:11 PM |
Is it okay to use corporal punishment with kids?? |
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Pete73052
Posts: 19,368
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I don't think children should be spanked or hit. As Mischief said, it is quite possible to raise children without ever spanking them - and the results are better.
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| Jan 20, 2006 @ 4:28 PM |
Is it okay to use corporal punishment with kids??
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danae74
Posts: 601
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I tend to agree with Altogirl & the rest of the "fors." Children and young teens don't really understand the abstract system of reward & punishment that keeps civilized adult society together yet, and at their maturity level, physical force is sometimes necessary. Within limits and with consistancy, of course, and not out of anger but out of fairness.
As I say this, I realize that even in "civilized adult" society, physical force is sometimes necessary too! Probably not nearly as often as we use it, though...
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| Jan 20, 2006 @ 4:40 PM |
Is it okay to use corporal punishment with kids?? |
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kattsmeow
Posts: 20,416
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No I don't.
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| Jan 22, 2006 @ 12:21 PM |
Is it okay to use corporal punishment with kids??
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t_h_e_b_r_a_t
Posts: 386
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I agree with Pete. And have serious issue with anyone smacking a kid in the head for any reason at any time!!!! That is just plain assault and abuse. There is also a lot of medical proof to show it can be very damaging.
The parents that have to resort to physically attacking their kids, are uneducated, impatient, have little self-control, and are very immature.
NOPE! Never gonna accept any "excuse" (there is no real reason) for any parent physically attacking their kids.
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| Jan 22, 2006 @ 8:12 PM |
Is it okay to use corporal punishment with kids?? |
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AngelLight
Posts: 5,440
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No. No. No. No. Did I already say no?
Yes. I work with people every day who grew up with "corporal punishment" and physical "discipline"
The personal, familial, and societal ramifications of this type of punishment are so far reaching it is unbelievable. I see it everyday.
And I mean it's unbelievable......violence begets violence, to self and/or others.
So many people with these backgrounds end up using alcohol and drugs to self medicate the message that was communicated by physical violence (and as an expample, don't tell me something as "little" as spanking a kid is not a form of violence....it is, and it often creates deep shame and humiliation in children effecting self image and esteem)
People who use and/or become addicted to alcohol and drugs are at high risk for arrest because of the behaviors they engage in while under the influence or in their attempt to get the substance they seek.
Mischeif has some very good thoughts to consider on this matter. It takes a lot more time and patience to speak with a child and be consistent with rules than it does to knock them in the head or whatever.
I see the startling ramifications of "discipline" today, and prior to the position I am in now, I was doing clinical work in an institution where I conducted approximately 1,300 clinical interviews and I will tell you that the vast majority, and I mean like 9 out of 10 had histories of physical "discipline" and their mental health issues were highly linked to their histories.
When children are assaulted, it is not only their physical bodies that are assaulted but it is their emotional and mental well-being that are also put at great risk.
Then we see these people on the news and we are stunned by what this one did or by what that one did. So often it is the professionals who end up dealing with or treating these individuals and the professionals who are the ones who know that after taking a thorough clinical history that indeed,
nothing comes from nothing.
Oh, and an additional note on spanking. We often think it’s "no big deal", the kid has a diaper on (actually kids are frequently hit on their naked buttocks) and so won’t be hurt or won’t remember it. If you really think about it, spanking is a highly sexual form of “discipline”….a parent (who a child loves), is hitting their child on their buttocks and the back of their genitals. Could this possibly be why some adults enjoy being spanked when intimate with their partners?…..at very early ages children may not remember being spanked when they are for instance, two years old, but they have emotional memory. So as an adult, love can be fused with pain, and pain fused with love.
Before anyone lays a hand on a child simply think, would I do this very thing to an adult? Would I assault an adult? If you would, know that you are at risk for arrest and an assault charge.
I think it’s important to remember that the very child who is “disciplined” today will be the adult child who may very well be the one caring for you when you are old and vulnerable.
What goes around comes around. I’ve seen it in home care and in nursing homes as well.
[Edited on 1/22/2006 8:55 PM]
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| Jan 22, 2006 @ 8:39 PM |
Is it okay to use corporal punishment with kids??
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waiting41
Posts: 1,926
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Without reading anything but the title of this post......or caring to for that matter.......my answer is a big firm......
NO
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| Jan 22, 2006 @ 8:47 PM |
Is it okay to use corporal punishment with kids?? |
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torees121
Posts: 739
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I agree with Angel Light and Waiting.... NO!
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| Jan 22, 2006 @ 10:17 PM |
Is it okay to use corporal punishment with kids??
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exiled131
Posts: 1,808
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well, actually hitting or spanking the child isn't the purpose. it is using fear to control the child. if the child is still misbehaving after the first spanking, you lose. try a new method of punishment, like selling the xbox(or another of the kid's prized possessions) and pocketing the proceeds.
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| Jan 23, 2006 @ 1:27 AM |
Is it okay to use corporal punishment with kids?? |
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bryan2992
Posts: 688
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depending on the age of the child yes, I think a spanking is sometimes necessary. but I also think it should be the last form of punishment used. like a 3 strike rule. different degree's of punishment for repeat offense
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| Jan 23, 2006 @ 2:30 AM |
Is it okay to use corporal punishment with kids??
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ILLLOOK
Posts: 315
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Lets see My dad broke a 2x4 over my brothers back oh and the belt in jr. high coach made me and my brother suit up and shower at different times than the other kids didnt want to freek them out. Both me and my brother had troubles growing up now my mom never hit my others 4 brothers who lived with her and lets see one flys for UPS ones a firefighter one teaches high school football and ones a computer wizz see a pattern. 
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| Jan 23, 2006 @ 6:14 AM |
Is it okay to use corporal punishment with kids?? |
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pitbullgurl
Posts: 740
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Growing up, I was spanked on numerous occasions...be it with a hand, a belt or a switch. I don't think it affected me in regards to my emotional well being, but it did instill in me a different set of morals and values than what I was taught.
Once my children were around 2yo, and could understand why they were being punished...I incorperated the "sad chair". Nothing is worse for a rambuncious child than to have to sit in one spot for a certain period of time. That little chair was a god's send.... 
So, no, I don't think that children "need" a smack, slap or kick...when they are out-of-line. They need and deserve the same respect, as we....their parents, expect from them. 
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| Jan 23, 2006 @ 9:35 AM |
Is it okay to use corporal punishment with kids??
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AngelLight
Posts: 5,440
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"So, no, I don't think that children "need" a smack, slap or kick...when they are out-of-line. They need and deserve the same respect, as we....their parents, expect from them."
And then some Pitbullgurl.
Well said
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| Jan 23, 2006 @ 11:17 AM |
Is it okay to use corporal punishment with kids?? |
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Mischief484
Posts: 643
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I think "zero tolerance" rules are doomed to fail. There are no absolutes. I still think that very young children should be taught that solving problems without violence is the right way.
However, gestures like a bop on the back of the head (not a punch, or a hard slap, or any other brute force strike) is just that--a gesture. The same goes with a firm slap on the hiney. It's not punishment, it's a means of getting their complete attention immediately.
The real discipline comes immediately afterwards, whether it's a "speaking to," a warning or pronouncement of sentence.
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| Jan 23, 2006 @ 11:22 AM |
Is it okay to use corporal punishment with kids??
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waiting41
Posts: 1,926
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Someone needs to "bop" you on the back of the head.
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| Jan 23, 2006 @ 11:31 AM |
Is it okay to use corporal punishment with kids?? |
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,708
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Count to three if they don`t behave..give them a time out..after awhile they learn...my kids did..never spanked them not ever..
I seen my older brother take the belt away from my dad and hit him with it and say..how does it feel Dad?..My Dad never used the belt or anything else again..and I swore when I grew up and had kids of my own I`d never use that form of punishment. 
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