For balance against insanity not to mention that the arsenal is much bigger.
"Those who died in the earthquake, their lives will never be the same again." - Barbara Boxer
"I believe that gays and lesbians deserve to have the same rights as homosexuals." - Rev. Al Sharpton in 2002
"Outside of the killings, we have one of the lowest crime rates in the country." - Marion Barry, mayor of Washington, D.C.
"But I don't know that she's ever had a real job — I mean, since she's been grown up." -- Teresa Heinz-Kerry on First Lady Laura Bush, a former teacher and librarian
"He's been out in these countries for decades, building schools, building roads, building infrastructure, building day-care facilities,... and these people are extremely grateful." - Democratic Senator Patty Murray on Osama bin Laden
"I will stand up and struggle, as others have, to try to get that right balance between violence, and sex, ... and things." - John Kerry on ABC News
"A zebra does not change its spots." - Al Gore, attacking President George Bush in 1992
"African Americans watch the same news at night that ordinary Americans do."
-- Bill Clinton, former president of the United States, on Black Entertainment Television.
"I should have had a circuitous answer that was a non-answer."
-- Geraldine Ferraro, 1984 V.P. nominee
"I consider myself 40 percent Catholic and 60 percent Baptist. but I'm in favor of every religion, with the possible exception of snake-chunking. Anybody that so presumes on how he stands with Providence that he will let a snake bite him, I say he deserves what he's got coming to him. "
-- Earl Long, former three-time governor of Louisiana, and younger brother to Huey Long.
"He's a brilliant actor, but what makes Republicans think he could do well in politics? Of course, it's hard to argue with Arnold when you're hanging upside down by the ankles."
-- Teddy Kennedy speaking about Arnold Schwarzenegger running for governor of California.
"The best audience is intelligent, well-educated, and a little drunk."
-- Alben Barkley, V.P. of the United States, 1949-1953.
"It was the black vote that decided the 2000 elections Clarence Thomas."
-- Carol Moseley Braun, 2004 presidential candidate. Clarence Thomas is an African-American Supreme Court justice who rendered a decision in favor of President Bush to decide the winner of the Florida vote.
"Are you big enough to make me, you, you little wimp? ...I dare you, you little fruitcake!"
-- Pete Stark, congressman from California, after having been told to "shut up" by Colorado Republican Congressman Scott McInnis. Now that's bipartisanship in action.
"I'm an elderly gentleman. I haven't been in a fight involving bodily contact in 60 years. Look, I fall trying to put on my underwear in the morning."
-- Pete Stark trying to deny he threatened another member of Congress with physical violence. Can you say "spin?"
"The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too."
-- Oscar Levant
Sheryl Crow on Environmentalism: “I propose a limitation be put on how many sqares [sic] of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don’t want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.’”
Joy Behar on Economics: “Isn’t it a little racist to call it Black Friday?”
Whoopi Goldberg on 43-year-old Roman Polanski raping and sodomizing a 13-year-old girl: “I know it wasn’t rape-rape. It was something else but I don’t believe it was rape-rape. He went to jail and and [sic] when they let him out he was like “You know what this guy’s going to give me a hundred years in jail I’m not staying, so that’s why he left.”
Joe Biden on culturalism: “In Delaware, the largest growth of population is Indian Americans, moving from India. You cannot go to a 7/11 or a Dunkin’ Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent. I’m not joking.”
John Kerry on the troops: “You know, education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq.”
Rosie O’Donnell: “Don’t fear the terrorists. They’re mothers and fathers.”
Al Gore: “During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet.”
Congressman Hank Johnson on Guam: “My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize,”
Oh there are so many more but I hope everyone gets a good laugh out of these, I did.