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The Journey From Love To Indifference


Jul 29, 2011 @ 1:07 AM The Journey From Love To Indifference    
DiamondRain


Posts: 12,256
I've always believed that the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. Hate, after all, requires strong feelings just like love. But indifference is the absence of feelings. With hate, love can still be alive. You know when it is dead when there is indifference.

Have you ever thought about how someone could have loved you so deeply at one time and then become completely indifferent? I have.

How is that possible exactly. If it really is love, doesn't that last forever?

Could it be that maybe it wasn't really love?

I've had my share of relationships in my life, and I can say that I still love all of them. But I seem to be the only person in the relationships who feels that way. My ex's have become indifferent towards me. At least I assume they have, it's not like I've discussed it with any of them. But it seems to me that is the normal thing that happens to most people. But it doesn't happen to me.

That journey from love to indifference -- if it actually happens that is because it has to really be love in the first place -- has got to be one of the most painful experiences in life. I've seen others go through it, and felt the pain of causing it by my own actions. But I've never taken the journey myself because I still love every girlfriend I've ever had.
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Jul 29, 2011 @ 1:13 AM The Journey From Love To Indifference    
southernlass


Posts: 5,489
I'm like you, DR.

Once I truly love someone, I will always love them within my heart and am friends with all of my exes but one. I never want to lose someone I've loved with all of my heart and thus prefer to have them as a friend and not have the bad feelings linger on. We aren't normally best friends or anything that would make someone I get involved with later jealous, but there is no animosity and we can talk about anything and are there for one another support-wise.

I am not indifferent to my friends or those I have ever loved. And I hate no one.

My exes all seem to still be fond of me. They seek me out to chat with now and again, and some regularly keep up with me and my daughter because they still love us and care about what happens to us. If someone is "indifferent" to me, I don't believe they ever really loved me to begin with.
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Jul 29, 2011 @ 1:14 AM The Journey From Love To Indifference    
Merchitown


Posts: 8,111
Hon, when you say love, what kind of love are you referring to? I assure you, I still love my ex, but its not that kind of love..its the fondness of an old friend or a brother.

Which is why I will never go back to him. . On that level, I am indifferent.

[Edited on 7/29/2011 1:16 AM]
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Jul 29, 2011 @ 1:15 AM The Journey From Love To Indifference    
SensualGemini


Posts: 13,986
DR: I've always believed that the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. Hate, after all, requires strong feelings just like love. But indifference is the absence of feelings. With hate, love can still be alive. You know when it is dead when there is indifference.

....I have always thought that love was the opposite of hate and indifference was in the middle. While hate is a wasted emotion I don't spend much time in; not ever, when I found indifference, I knew it was over for myself.

==========

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Jul 29, 2011 @ 1:22 AM The Journey From Love To Indifference    
Merchitown


Posts: 8,111
I still think fear is the opposite of romantic love. Absolute trust is so needed for love to exist. So where no trust exists and in fact, a fear of trusting is in place, then you've created an emotional negative, a vacuum if you will.

Edited for clarification.

[Edited on 7/29/2011 1:32 AM]
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Jul 29, 2011 @ 1:24 AM The Journey From Love To Indifference    
DiamondRain


Posts: 12,256
Leave it to a woman to figure out love that way.

I spend my whole life trying to figure this out and she hits is out of the park in 30 seconds.

DOAH!
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Jul 29, 2011 @ 1:28 AM The Journey From Love To Indifference    
Merchitown


Posts: 8,111
Wait.. Whatd I say? I just reread what I wrote and that was one hell of a run-on sentence.

I'm gonna have to edit it.
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Jul 29, 2011 @ 1:31 AM The Journey From Love To Indifference    
DiamondRain


Posts: 12,256
I got it. And it's good... very very good.
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Jul 29, 2011 @ 1:34 AM The Journey From Love To Indifference    
Merchitown


Posts: 8,111
LOL love ya, hon!
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Jul 29, 2011 @ 1:42 AM The Journey From Love To Indifference    
DiamondRain


Posts: 12,256
Women have an unfair advantage in relationships.

When I hear kids walking past my house and talking to each other, the boys are always talking about how they either got into some girls pants, or they want to. The girls are always talking about relationships.

Girls learn a lot more about relationships from an early age and it carries through life because even as adults I think women are a lot more focused on this topic then men.

I've learned that women are the pros when it comes to understanding these things, and as savvy and experienced as a man can be, he is always bush league compared to a woman.
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Jul 29, 2011 @ 1:50 AM The Journey From Love To Indifference    
Merchitown


Posts: 8,111
When I hear kids walking past my house and talking to each other, the boys are always talking about how they either got into some girls pants, or they want to. The girls are always talking about relationships.

I always assumed that boys were actually interested in relationships, they just can't divulge it.

And I'm not so sure about the girls of today...they are actually a little terrifying I think.
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Jul 29, 2011 @ 1:56 AM The Journey From Love To Indifference    
DiamondRain


Posts: 12,256
I don't think it's changed a bit since I was a kid. The boys are still bragging about what they did or want to do and the girls are still talking about the relationship aspects. I catch enough snippets of conversations to confirm it. They are both focused squarely on the opposite sex, but the nature of the focus is different, and hasn't changed since I was a kid.

No one is going to convince me that by the time women are moving out of their teens they aren't already lightyears ahead in understanding the dynamics of male female relationships.
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Jul 29, 2011 @ 2:04 AM The Journey From Love To Indifference    
Merchitown


Posts: 8,111
Oh you're probably right. I know my 14 yo sister has her shit together, I just always figured her as the exception. She is rather exceptional.
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Jul 29, 2011 @ 2:06 AM The Journey From Love To Indifference    
DiamondRain


Posts: 12,256
Two exceptional girls in the same family?
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Jul 29, 2011 @ 2:10 AM The Journey From Love To Indifference    
Merchitown


Posts: 8,111
Three. Momma and Daddy did a rather exceptional job.
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Jul 29, 2011 @ 2:13 AM The Journey From Love To Indifference    
Suthn_Man


Posts: 11,239

Sounds like you're having the beginnings of one of those weekends DR.

A little healthy but thought-provoking melancholy, based on some historical flashbacks about what might have been, under slightly different circumstances.

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Jul 29, 2011 @ 2:15 AM The Journey From Love To Indifference    
DiamondRain


Posts: 12,256
I didn't say exceptionally what!

Hey SM... good to see you. ... unfortunately, I am off to sleep!

a fond adieu to all..
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Jul 29, 2011 @ 2:25 AM The Journey From Love To Indifference    
Merchitown


Posts: 8,111
I didn't say exceptionally what!






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Jul 29, 2011 @ 9:29 AM The Journey From Love To Indifference    
Loreli


Posts: 31,995
I will respectfully disagree on the trust thing.
Unless, of course the trust is really different. How about all the people that love an abuser? Certainly they can't trust their mate won't hurt them again....?
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Jul 30, 2011 @ 4:33 PM The Journey From Love To Indifference    
newlife2006


Posts: 2,101
Well... it depends on what it is exactly you call "love".Are you sure you don't confuse love with erection?...
The point is - love is not a "feeling" and neither it's sexual arousal , it's a way of life , total devotion - just like religion is.
You cannot be devoted Christian , Jew, Muslim , Buddhist, etc - all at the same time, can you? And if you think you can - you are none of the above.
Same applies to love. Deadbeat "father" can say he "loves" all his abandoned babies , but who'd believe him? Unless he devotes his life to make sure they are happy and doing well, there's no point to use the "L" word. The one who's indifferent to the other's happiness and well-being cannot possibly complain he doesn't get love , he simply gets back exactly what he gives - i.e. indifference.
Love is an investment ( emotional as well as financial),
, active concern about the other person's happiness and well-being. A person in love is fixated on his loved one , he has all his time , attention , future plans and other resourses tied/invested in this person , so there's nothing available for anyone else.
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