| Feb 7, 2006 @ 1:57 PM |
what is it with people and IM?
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sirdidymus
Posts: 1,087
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i used to love using IM, it was the caux de gra (i'm sorry - i don't know how to spell it exactly, so Godless - this is where you can jump in and correct me in a public forum once again)
for "instant gratification".
but the more i used it, the more i realized - it sucks (expressing personal opinion only). it's a piss poor way to communicate, and worse - people use it as a crutch for real communication.
i was IMing with someone the other day, and i wrote some reply to her, she never replied - so i figured she either lost interest or walked away, and i didn't think twice about it. About 10 minutes later, she writes that ...seeing as how i'm so talkative - she's going to bed. I guess that was my fault - i didn't realize i was supposed to crawl up someone's butt and hound them for a reply. I though that if i replied something, just like in normal conversation - someone wouldn't sit there like a darned dummy - they'd reply back - my mistake! Or sometimes people don't write anything back but "lol" - am, are they expecting me to reply back to that. If you can't think of anything intelligent beyond "lol" to reply - i'm going to take it on assumption that our conversation isn't interesting enough to you and i'll leave it at that.
I mean, are people waiting for you to like chase after them in IM chat?
I had another women from this or another site, many moons ago - we were chatting emails/IM for awhile, nothing serious. She didn't reply for awhile - ok no biggie, i'm not going to write "hey are you still there?" kinda crap. So i figured while she's away i'll take care of my kitties, which took about 10 minutes. During the course of which, she had a full course conversation with herself - i kid you not. She asked if i was there, when she didn't receive a reply she took it on assumption i was purposely ignoring her. Here's the kicker...we had been chatting about meeting but she never previously committed. So in the IM when she thought i was ignoring her ***at that time*** she decides to say how she was ready to meet but since i'm ignoring her she's changed her mind (can we scream "immaturity"). So when i got back to my desk and saw all of that i simply wrote that i wasn't ignoring her at all but if that is how she conducts herself, she's right - we shouldn't meet - DOH!
There was another girl recently, very pretty but all she wanted to do was chat on IM. I tried for a day or two, just to be nice - thinking that at some point we could go beyond the IM....nope - didn't happen. She gave some crap about wanting to take it slow and get to know someone. OMgosh - how can you get "get to know someone" over the internet. If i'm a lying, cheating, rat-b*stard sonofagun - you'll never know that UNTIL you meet meet. So instead it makes more sense to invest time/energy to yap yap yap for gosh knows how long - and then finally meet in person and risk disappointment. It's a shame cuz the girl was very pretty and seemed to be nice at heart, but her head was stuck too far up her .... .... ... and it's painfully obvious she's in for nothing but a world of hurt as long as she contiues that - but that's her business, not mine...it's just frustrating cuz i've seen it so many times before.
then i have another person. we started to email and she asked for my IM - nothing bad at all. I respectfully declined and i explained my reasons why. But we still emailed and within a relatively short time, we moved to talking on the phone and met in person and what do you know - i feel like she's a best friend (and i'm not one to throw around words like that). I'm sure she's reading this so i duly apologize if i in any way make her uncomfortable with that statement. But no IM, no instant gratification, we did things the old fashioned way, we used the internet to make the acquaintence, chatted for a small bit, then met in person, there was no dragging of the heels, no relying on the internet as a crutch and wallah, we're great friends. Heck, even if we didn't become friends at all - how would we have ever known if we merely used the internet as a crutch.
I guess the IM in and of itself is nothing bad, it's a very useful tool, but sadly people use it as a crutch or an excuse for a life and then it's bad.
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| Feb 7, 2006 @ 2:10 PM |
what is it with people and IM? |
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FeliciVagano
Posts: 2,152
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it's a piss poor way to communicate, and worse - people use it as a crutch for real communication.
I disagree...
i was IMing with someone the other day, and i wrote some reply to her, she never replied - so i figured she either lost interest or walked away, and i didn't think twice about it. About 10 minutes later, she writes that ...seeing as how i'm so talkative - she's going to bed. I guess that was my fault - i didn't realize i was supposed to crawl up someone's butt and hound them for a reply. I though that if i replied something, just like in normal conversation - someone wouldn't sit there like a darned dummy - they'd reply back - my mistake! Or sometimes people don't write anything back but "lol" - am, are they expecting me to reply back to that. If you can't think of anything intelligent beyond "lol" to reply - i'm going to take it on assumption that our conversation isn't interesting enough to you and i'll leave it at that.
I mean, are people waiting for you to like chase after them in IM chat?
I had another women from this or another site, many moons ago - we were chatting emails/IM for awhile, nothing serious. She didn't reply for awhile - ok no biggie, i'm not going to write "hey are you still there?" kinda crap. So i figured while she's away i'll take care of my kitties, which took about 10 minutes. During the course of which, she had a full course conversation with herself - i kid you not. She asked if i was there, when she didn't receive a reply she took it on assumption i was purposely ignoring her. Here's the kicker...we had been chatting about meeting but she never previously committed. So in the IM when she thought i was ignoring her ***at that time*** she decides to say how she was ready to meet but since i'm ignoring her she's changed her mind (can we scream "immaturity"). So when i got back to my desk and saw all of that i simply wrote that i wasn't ignoring her at all but if that is how she conducts herself, she's right - we shouldn't meet - DOH!
There was another girl recently, very pretty but all she wanted to do was chat on IM. I tried for a day or two, just to be nice - thinking that at some point we could go beyond the IM....nope - didn't happen. She gave some crap about wanting to take it slow and get to know someone. OMgosh - how can you get "get to know someone" over the internet. If i'm a lying, cheating, rat-b*stard sonofagun - you'll never know that UNTIL you meet meet. So instead it makes more sense to invest time/energy to yap yap yap for gosh knows how long - and then finally meet in person and risk disappointment. It's a shame cuz the girl was very pretty and seemed to be nice at heart, but her head was stuck too far up her .... .... ... and it's painfully obvious she's in for nothing but a world of hurt as long as she contiues that - but that's her business, not mine...it's just frustrating cuz i've seen it so many times before.
then i have another person. we started to email and she asked for my IM - nothing bad at all. I respectfully declined and i explained my reasons why. But we still emailed and within a relatively short time, we moved to talking on the phone and met in person and what do you know - i feel like she's a best friend (and i'm not one to throw around words like that). I'm sure she's reading this so i duly apologize if i in any way make her uncomfortable with that statement. But no IM, no instant gratification, we did things the old fashioned way, we used the internet to make the acquaintence, chatted for a small bit, then met in person, there was no dragging of the heels, no relying on the internet as a crutch and wallah, we're great friends. Heck, even if we didn't become friends at all - how would we have ever known if we merely used the internet as a crutch.
I guess the IM in and of itself is nothing bad, it's a very useful tool, but sadly people use it as a crutch or an excuse for a life and then it's bad.
.... 
and the point to the rest of this was???? 
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| Feb 7, 2006 @ 2:19 PM |
what is it with people and IM?
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,813
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If you don`t like it don`t use it 
Happens to me too but I don`t get all bent out of shape about it..its only an IM..
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| Feb 7, 2006 @ 2:20 PM |
what is it with people and IM? |
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Pete73052
Posts: 19,370
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I never use IM. Too distracting and demanding. It's like the phone ringing every minute. Who needs that? 
[Edited on 2/7/2006 2:21 PM]
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| Feb 7, 2006 @ 2:20 PM |
what is it with people and IM?
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Solitaire
Posts: 1,359
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I think it is as good or as useful as you want it to be. I rarely give out my IM address. In fact I think I have maybe 6 names on it, as opposed to some who have...well more than that. I use it to keep in touch with friends and not as a substitute for personal contact. It works well for me on the limited basis I need it. It is just a tool, just like some people are too. Hmmm maybe that was my point.
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| Feb 7, 2006 @ 2:25 PM |
what is it with people and IM? |
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painter007
Posts: 17,854
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IM oh yes
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| Feb 7, 2006 @ 2:27 PM |
what is it with people and IM?
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lecriveuse
Posts: 1,865
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rat-b*stard
that was the best part of ur rant. sorry, i just loved it.
i don't like the pursuing of people for chat either. in fact, its worrisome and annoying when someone persistenly asks if ur there or not. duh! either way, it's annoying.
sir, it's that woman's perogative if she doesn't want to run out and meet u. period. can u imagine if she did that with every guy who suggested that? just let it go and find somebody who will cooperate.
IM is great for interacting right from home without divulging confidential information. if people don't want to be bothered, they shut the window, block someone, etc. if someone can't communicate well, they'll do it regardless of the means. 
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| Feb 7, 2006 @ 2:33 PM |
what is it with people and IM? |
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Stevesco
Posts: 455
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I'm not very keen on IM ..but that because my typing speed in one word every 2 minutes 
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| Feb 7, 2006 @ 2:51 PM |
what is it with people and IM?
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father_heart
Posts: 1,110
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My im is very personal to me. Its how i stay intouch with my love ones. I dont just give it out to every janet jane or jenny.
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| Feb 7, 2006 @ 3:25 PM |
what is it with people and IM? |
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2Biatchy4U
Posts: 432
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I love IM's! I can see sir how you might find it annoyin'. Dont use it. As for me I think its the best thing on the net. I can talk to my family in other states and it doesnt cost me a dime. I can have convos with friends and family and not hafta wait for them to write a letter and email it.
IM's 
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| Feb 7, 2006 @ 3:40 PM |
what is it with people and IM?
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sirdidymus
Posts: 1,087
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i think i just needed to vent more than anything, not for any specific reason/person, just in general - and now i feel better :D
my comments about IM weren't related to family/friends/romance - after that connection has been started and you know one another then IM can be a convenient tool for communication. Even using using IM as a tool to converse w/someone before meeting, to a certain degree - fine. My biggest peeve is when using the IM as a crutch, to never move beyond IM.
yes yes yes, if i don't like it don't use it blah blah - goes without saying i imagine...really, just felt the need to vent.
it's that woman's perogative if she doesn't want to run out and meet u. period. can u imagine if she did that with every guy who suggested that? just let it go and find somebody who will cooperate.
very logical and very true, of course. that is pretty much what i do, if the person seems to be dragging their heels (from my perspective) beyond my comfort level - i move away from the situation. Sometimes it just gets frustrating when one thinks about it, that's all....
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| Feb 7, 2006 @ 3:45 PM |
what is it with people and IM? |
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spongebob777
Posts: 7,904
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I like IM for overseas friends. It's great for overcoming the language barrier because they can immediately ask "what the hell does that mean" rather than wait till the next e-mail.
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| Feb 7, 2006 @ 3:49 PM |
what is it with people and IM?
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,813
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I'm not very keen on IM ..but that because my typing speed in one word every 2 minute
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| Feb 7, 2006 @ 3:53 PM |
what is it with people and IM? |
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father_heart
Posts: 1,110
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Good things come to those who wait, and good thing are gone from those that are late. Youll find you pace partner. I know it get fustrating.
when you are ready, and waiting for things to happen. Yet I BELEAVE
it will happen.
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| Feb 7, 2006 @ 4:04 PM |
what is it with people and IM?
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sirdidymus
Posts: 1,087
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i agree with you 100% actually, that if it's meant to be - it will happen - of it's own accord. sadly, like you said, other times it gets frustrating and I allow my impatience to get the best of me.
ok, let me go check my profile and make sure i don't have "patience" listed as one of my positive traits - lmao....
i do like your way of saying things, encouraging, understanding, without being condascending - we can all, including myself - learn from that - thank you sir!
peace,
andy
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| Feb 7, 2006 @ 4:21 PM |
what is it with people and IM? |
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PerhapsLove
Posts: 643
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my typing speed in one word every 2 minute
WOW !!!
I wish I was that fast.
I use two fingers and (sometimes) try to hit the space bar with a thumb.
But, I do know what you mean about "lol" and other things.
Some day, I will have a converstion with someone and they will say "laughing out loud" - maybe;
but, at this juncture, I have never heard anyone say that or any of the other nonsense.
It is just a poor substitute for an inability to express one's self and without it I am sure
many of the veggies could not structure a sentence.
Oh yes, IM... there is one former member here with whom I exchange IM once-in-a-while.
Other than that, it is a nuisance.
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| Feb 7, 2006 @ 4:56 PM |
what is it with people and IM?
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sirdidymus
Posts: 1,087
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..."lol" is fine, but then follow it up with something, not just put "lol" and expect someone to have to come up with something to reply to .. to that
or like i ment'd earlier, when i do reply to someone, they don't reply - and then 10 minutes later ask me why i'm so quiet  i've had this happen quite often...
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| Feb 7, 2006 @ 5:05 PM |
what is it with people and IM? |
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kattsmeow
Posts: 22,629
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I have used about al of them. Now I have msn and yahoo. I 3 people on msn and around 6 on yahoo. Until lately I haven't talked on either one of them for a long time. They just sat there.....
Now, for the past 3 days,, I have gave in and "talked' to a good friend so she could vent.
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| Feb 7, 2006 @ 5:24 PM |
what is it with people and IM?
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SunBabe
Posts: 12,279
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I tried IM for a bit. Hated it. Like Pete, it was like the darn phone was always ringing...couple with annoying 'call waiting' and/or a 6 line phone. I don't work in an office anymore, so don't gotta do dat no more!
I've also seen relationships strained because the other person expected them to be sitting there waiting for the next 'ding' -- and to reply instantly.
Crimeny, not only can't I think of stuff fast enough, I'm back and forth, in and out of this computer room and get back online when I take breaks (sometimes many MANY of them). I need to control MY life, not satisfy impatiance or instant gratification of someone else -- even friends. I rarely even do emails...out loud on the boards, mostly nuthin' else.
...I'm not part of the "Seseme Street" generation, I guess -- flash-flash-flash.
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| Feb 7, 2006 @ 8:09 PM |
what is it with people and IM? |
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suzieq0808
Posts: 1,080
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I'm with Sir, Pete, and SunBabe. IM is mostly annoying. I have to use it at work. Mostly my co-workers don't IM me because I insist on composing the messages like an email. They don't have patience for me. (Yes, that's a passive/aggressive tactic. It works!) Email, call, or come talk to me.
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