| Mar 13, 2006 @ 12:16 AM |
Is it EVER okay for a male to hit a female?
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pitbullgurl
Posts: 740
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In my opinion...no it's not. But, for others...they say if the female hits them first...or if she's bigger than the male...all's fair. What do y'all think?
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| Mar 13, 2006 @ 12:21 AM |
Is it EVER okay for a male to hit a female? |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 15,333
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I don't think it's ever okay for someone to take the first punch, but after that all's fair. I think you always have the right to defend yourself, regardless of gender.
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| Mar 13, 2006 @ 12:27 AM |
Is it EVER okay for a male to hit a female?
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greenizenora
Posts: 629
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Anyone that hits a man like a man. . .better be prepared to take it like a man.
But no man should ever hit a woman first.
It takes a real good man not to hit back. 
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| Mar 13, 2006 @ 12:37 AM |
Is it EVER okay for a male to hit a female? |
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sunchaser59
Posts: 528
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Uhhh,...NOOOOOOOOOO!!
Come on, ladies...you have to ask?? If we as women have to ask, wonder what the guys are thinkin??? It's NEVER ok. They are whether we like it or not ...bigger, stronger and therefore more capable of hurting. Give me a break and DON'T GIVE THEM AN EXCUSE!!
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| Mar 13, 2006 @ 12:40 AM |
Is it EVER okay for a male to hit a female?
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Eyes_Wide_Shut
Posts: 421
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It's never ok for anyone to hit anyone, but if someone hits me I will definitely protect myself, and if that needs to include me putting my foot upside his head, well, I can do that. 
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| Mar 13, 2006 @ 12:47 AM |
Is it EVER okay for a male to hit a female? |
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chinabull2000
Posts: 7,012
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I spent god-knows how many years taking abuse from my ex-wife, verbal abuse and physical abuse, without ever hitting her back. Sometimes I would just walk away, sometimes I would hold her down, sometimes I would shout. And believe me, I was VERY much within my rights to have hit her back, but I never did. If I ever meet a woman like her again, I doubt very much if I still have the self-control not to hit back... but hopefully I will never make such a bad choice in woman again.
To answer the question: no it is not ok to hit a woman, under normal circumstances, but at the same time it is not ok for a woman to hit a man either. So, if a woman hits a man, she should not consider herself to be exempt from the man hitting her back.
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| Mar 13, 2006 @ 12:51 AM |
Is it EVER okay for a male to hit a female?
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pitbullgurl
Posts: 740
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My thoughts are...men are usually larger and stronger. Would it not be a better choice... to call the police and have her charged with assault, rather than he..himself, end up with an assault charge....or worse yet...kill her with one blow to the head?
If a woman hits the man first, most men are capable of holding a woman back/down...while waiting for help to arriive...hell, duct tape her to the wall if ya have to!! 
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| Mar 13, 2006 @ 12:53 AM |
Is it EVER okay for a male to hit a female? |
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Silvertongue62
Posts: 6,932
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totally unexceptable. And if anyone finds themself in this situation leave. Not temporary, for ever. Actually there is no reason to hit another human being at all.
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| Mar 13, 2006 @ 12:54 AM |
Is it EVER okay for a male to hit a female?
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chinabull2000
Posts: 7,012
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And if anyone finds themself in this situation leave. Not temporary, for ever I agree with you Silver, in theory, but then you have the issues about children etc... sometimes it is not so easy to just leave.
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| Mar 13, 2006 @ 1:02 AM |
Is it EVER okay for a male to hit a female? |
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Silvertongue62
Posts: 6,932
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Let me try this again for those in the cheap seats. Children or not, LEAVE. Children are the first reason you have for leaving. Or maybe it is better to stay for the children so they will grow up with issues. Boys thinking it's alright to hit women and girls finding mates that will abused them as they watched their father do to their mother. Or maybe a daddy complex as an adult. Let me try this again, LEAVE[I]
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| Mar 13, 2006 @ 1:07 AM |
Is it EVER okay for a male to hit a female?
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chinabull2000
Posts: 7,012
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Let me try this again for those in the cheap seats. Children or not, LEAVE What an unpleasant piece of sarcasm Silver, most unlike you. Well, I'm obviously in the cheap seats, and if I had left (which you seem so sure is always the right thing to do), then I would have had to leave my daughter with a woman who was unfit to be a mother. Because I did not leave straightaway, I now have my daughter living with me, she is happy, well-educated, stable and has a bright future ahead of her. I hate to think what would have happened to her if I had just left because I didn't like being abused. I like my cheap seat, thankyou very much, and for my daughters sake, I am glad I stayed until such point as I could take her with me.
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| Mar 13, 2006 @ 1:16 AM |
Is it EVER okay for a male to hit a female? |
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sjpinatl
Posts: 671
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Silvertongue, it is not that simple. I used to think that way, but there are real financial straights, control mind games, and when it comes to women, it is common for the man to make it so that the woman does not have a car. Some women do not have much of a support system, and the abusive men make sure what was there is gone.
My brother also is going through some of this with his wife. He is trying to leave, but she is dragging out the divorce. The custody is not worked out so it is illegal for either of them to take the baby to another home until it is. She is not stable enough to leave with the baby anyway. He has called the police on her.
I have met guys who could get you in that situation, but I saw the signs. I'm very perceptive though. I have had a taste of the mind games. They do something bad and then they think of a way to blame you for why they did it. "I'm sorry, but it is just because I'm so frustrated because I want you so much, I need you"...Some poeple fall for that crap.
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| Mar 13, 2006 @ 1:16 AM |
Is it EVER okay for a male to hit a female?
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FeliciVagano
Posts: 2,152
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Is it EVER okay for a male to hit a female? In my opinion...no it's not. But, for others...they say if the female hits them first...or if she's bigger than the male...all's fair. What do y'all think?
this one is too easy... 
Heaveninawildflower
I don't think it's ever okay for someone to take the first punch, but after that all's fair. I think you always have the right to defend yourself, regardless of gender. about ten years ago this might have been the right answer..but not any more....
greenizenora
Anyone that hits a man like a man. . .better be prepared to take it like a man.
But no man should ever hit a woman first.It takes a real good man not to hit back wrong....just wrong
sunchaser59
Uhhh,...NOOOOOOOOOO!!
Come on, ladies...you have to ask?? If we as women have to ask, wonder what the guys are thinkin??? It's NEVER ok. They are whether we like it or not ...bigger, stronger and therefore more capable of hurting. Give me a break and DON'T GIVE THEM AN EXCUSE!! exactly right
Eyes_Wide_Shut
It's never ok for anyone to hit anyone, but if someone hits me I will definitely protect myself, and if that needs to include me putting my foot upside his head, well, I can do that.
more to the point
chinabull2000
....... And believe me, I was VERY much within my rights to have hit her back.... wrong
pitbullgurl
My thoughts are...men are usually larger and stronger. Would it not be a better choice... to call the police and have her charged with assault, rather than he..himself, end up with an assault charge....or worse yet...kill her with one blow to the head?
If a woman hits the man first, most men are capable of holding a woman back/down...while waiting for help to arriive...hell, duct tape her to the wall if ya have to!! Maybe
Silvertongue62
totally unexceptable. And if anyone finds themself in this situation leave. Not temporary, for ever. Actually there is no reason to hit another human being at all. leaving might work after she was through beating the crap out of you
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| Mar 13, 2006 @ 1:23 AM |
Is it EVER okay for a male to hit a female? |
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painter007
Posts: 15,990
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NEVER my ex did after the 3rd time got my sons 3 and 5 and left. that was 13 yrs ago......
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| Mar 13, 2006 @ 1:25 AM |
Is it EVER okay for a male to hit a female?
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Silvertongue62
Posts: 6,932
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Silvertongue, it is not that simple. I used to think that way, but there are real financial straights, control mind games, and when it comes to women, it is common for the man to make it so that the woman does not have a car. Some women do not have much of a support system, and the abusive men make sure what was there is gone.
I understand your plight and i wont discount anything you say but unlike some here I am active in funding womens centers so i know exactly what you are talking about. But where there is a will there is a way. By the way, if you own a computer or a phone there are organizations that will be there to pick you and your children up and help you get a fresh start. I'm not about to tell you it's easy but it is more than possible. The first step starts with you.
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| Mar 13, 2006 @ 1:36 AM |
Is it EVER okay for a male to hit a female? |
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luvshorses644
Posts: 1,566
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IMO, it is never OK for any adult to HIT another. I am in agreement with Silver about finding out ways for you to leave as soon as possible. The effects that fighting parents have on children are not always visible, but having witnessed much of this in my childhood, I can vouch that there were times I was genuinely afraid we would be orphaned. If someone's anger level gets so out of control that they need to HIT in order to bring control back to them, I say this should wave a large red flag. I realize that leaving is not easy, but as Silver said there are agencies that can and will help in these situations. Children are deeply emotionally scarred by witnessing this type of behavior - to stay because of them is not a valid reason to take abuse as they will become the ones being abused also.
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| Mar 13, 2006 @ 1:41 AM |
Is it EVER okay for a male to hit a female?
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chinabull2000
Posts: 7,012
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to stay because of them is not a valid reason to take abuse as they will become the ones being abused also. Said for the right reasons, but does no-one consider the fact that the child who is left with the abusive mother may then become the subject of the abuse once the father has decided to look after himself and leave?
I actually left for a few months during my marriage... upon my return, I discovered my daughter (then 3 years old) had been in sex-shops, and had met quite a few "uncles", amongst other things. Taking the easy option for me would have been... well, easy, but I had, and have, a love and commitment to my daughter that would never allow me to leave her again in such a situation.
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| Mar 13, 2006 @ 2:38 AM |
Is it EVER okay for a male to hit a female? |
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sweetascanb
Posts: 12
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As far as shelters, not everyone can go that route. As victims, we become ashamed and I know we are supposed to swallow our pride and do what we have to but sometimes it’s not that simple. I would say that if say if we didn’t seek that help than it’s our own fault but it shouldn’t be happening to us in the first place. Normally I would completely agree with Silver 100%. When it comes to my current personal life, I do. There was a time though when it took time for me to get away from a situation that I had little control over. I have since than strengthened my defenses for situations like this and now I could walk away at any time.
I am a strong believer that there is always an exception to the rules, this is where I draw the line…
Men hitting women….wrong
Women hitting men….wrong
Self defense…. Perfectly expected…have to be careful not to become the aggressor though...once someone is rendered no longer a threat...you have to stop there.
No exceptions.
The unexpected is just that, otherwise we wouldn’t have placed ourselves in that position on purpose. The only exceptions are what you have to do to safely remove yourself and your children from the situation. Fake it, lie if you have to, seek help if you can, but when the time comes, get out and don’t go back…no excuses.
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| Mar 13, 2006 @ 5:36 AM |
Is it EVER okay for a male to hit a female?
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doodlebug68
Posts: 4,248
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NO.....it is NEVER ok for a male to hit a female. And should the situation arise, I agree with Silver and with Painter-----LEAVE---take the kids and LEAVE. We make tooo many excuses as to why we can't do this or can't do that. That just fuels the abuser. LEAVE !!
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| Mar 13, 2006 @ 9:08 AM |
Is it EVER okay for a male to hit a female? |
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,791
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Boys and Girls must be taught that there is
never any excuse for domestic
violence, against anyone....and if their not taught they will more then likely grow into an abusive adult...if a child lives with violence then hes going to grow up thinking its ok to hit someone. Its a vicious cycle that needs to end before it begins.
A man who beats a woman once will do it again. And again. And again. I have read cases which show the abuse if anything will worsens each time.
The hard core abuser of women won`t ever change his stripes.Even if ultimately the woman ends the relationship, the probability is he will get involved with someone else..
Many battered women just stay - out of love, hope or fear. Or for the kids..which is wrong. A person shouldn`t use the excuse that they have nowhere to go..no car..no money.Those things are minor when it comes to your own safety and that of your children.And hitting back isn`t the answer either..the only answer in domestic violence is to leave and seek help.
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