| Apr 5, 2006 @ 5:11 PM |
rethinking my actions
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richmondcowgirl83
Posts: 1,062
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I'm not the kind of person to put me first. Like I posted a few days ago my next door neighbor passed away. He was a very kind old man that I have known almost all my life. In the past few months he has been very sick & I've gone over there every couple of days to help him out. I do this for majority of my neighbors (I live in an old neighborhood). I grew up in this neighborhood so I know most of the older people & they knew me very well they've watched me grow up, have a kid, & leave just to come back. I help them constantly to the point the people at the grocery store know me by name cause I'm there everyday for one of my neighbors (they thought I was eating that much at first til I explained it to the ladies that help me when I'm there. Well back to my point... The family of my next door neighbor wanted to give me cash for helping him when he was alive & for watching the grandchildren all day yesturday while they got everything straight that they needed to. I refused it saying I was just doing what any neighbor would do.... I over heard the oldest son mumble under his breath "we'ld never do it for you". It hurt to hear that. I don't do it for things in return but it would be nice to know that if the time ever came that I would be able to turn to my neighbors for help like they have done to me. It makes me want to rethink my actions. The youngest daughter did send me this giant cookie (the one that can serve a party) today thanking me for everything but I'm still hurt that the oldest (who's 45) would say something like that knowing what all I've done for his father cause he was too busy to do it himself. I'm still going to help my other neighbors. One who wont take no for an answer when she says I'm in her will (I told her it was going to charity). It just hurts to know people can be that mean when you have been nothing but nice to them.
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| Apr 5, 2006 @ 5:27 PM |
rethinking my actions |
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spongebob777
Posts: 7,904
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The guy sounds like an a$$. Ignore him.
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| Apr 5, 2006 @ 5:43 PM |
rethinking my actions
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altogirl67
Posts: 1,309
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Richmond, that guy is a true jerk. He's one of those people who is so self-absorbed and hateful that he'd never do anything for anyone or he most certainly would not have said that. You are a very good person. Don't let someone like him jade you into thinking that you're the one who needs to change.
Just a word of advice though from someone who is very much like you but is older and has learned lessons the hard way. Help people and try to make a positive difference but not always at your own expense. Take care of yourself too, ok? You're very much worth it and it is possible to give too much of yourself... too much to the point where you're taking care of everyone BUT yourself.
Take care... 
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| Apr 5, 2006 @ 5:48 PM |
rethinking my actions |
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Snappygoddess
Posts: 5,106
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Rich,
You are much nicer then I... had it been me, I would have looked that ungrateful jerk in the eye and said.. some of us do things for others just because its the right thing to do and if YOU had taken better care of your father, neighbors wouldn't have had to.
Its admirable that you have offered a hand to those around you who couldn't do it for themselves. Kudos to you 
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| Apr 5, 2006 @ 6:04 PM |
rethinking my actions
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kattsmeow
Posts: 22,629
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Don't let people like that get to you. You are doing good things, keep it up!!!
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| Apr 5, 2006 @ 6:12 PM |
rethinking my actions |
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greenizenora
Posts: 629
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Richmond,
What goes around comes around. When you're in need, someone will be happy to help you. Maybe because it's the right thing to do, but probably because you've inspired them to do so.
As evil as it may sound, I hope that man's children feel the same way about him when he's old and decrepit. . .they just can't be bothered. I have a feeling that when that time comes, he'll be the one rethinking his actions.
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| Apr 5, 2006 @ 6:15 PM |
rethinking my actions
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Loreli
Posts: 25,415
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Yep-ignore him. You have a good heart. Obviously much better than his. 
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| Apr 5, 2006 @ 6:57 PM |
rethinking my actions |
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the_real_me_ok
Posts: 293
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I agree with all said here, and want to add something else....a lot of times when we are upset by the loss of a loved one, we are emotional and often say things we normally wouldn't. By no means am I defending such a horrible thing said by this person, he should've thought before he said it or said nothing at all. But under stress it's hard to have control over our own emotions and what we say, maybe he didn't even realize what he said at the time. Just remember how good you felt when you did all those good things for his dad and don't let such an ass bother you. The rest of the family appreciates you, they sent you the cookie which was a very nice gesture.
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| Apr 5, 2006 @ 7:05 PM |
rethinking my actions
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holding4u
Posts: 1,098
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Rich, as I have told my children - the only person you can make do the right thing is you. And you have done the right thing.
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| Apr 5, 2006 @ 9:24 PM |
rethinking my actions |
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HarleysB_WV
Posts: 860
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The son is probably angry at himself for not doing the things for his family that you were doing. A guilty conscience can definitely make you say mean things to people that you know did/do what you should have done/be doing.
Something else to consider too. He might have a crush on you and is using a juvenile way to get your attention. Remember in school how the guys with the crush would tease the ones they had the crush on?
Just trying to put a positive spin on this.
You're a good person richmond. I can only tell you what my grandma has told me all my life.............When your time on this earth is up only YOU are being judged by your actions and by YOUR actions alone. Other people's opinion of you is not who you are.
Be true to YOU.
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| Apr 5, 2006 @ 9:26 PM |
rethinking my actions
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 18,619
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What goes around comes around. When you're in need, someone will be happy to help you. Maybe because it's the right thing to do, but probably because you've inspired them to do so.
Yep, and whether it's karma or just the way the universe works, we tend to get what we give. You did what you did because it felt good to you, and that opens you up to good things happening to you. His response closed him off from you, and closes him off from good things happening to him...don't let him close you off, and don't let it hurt you...just hope that eventually he'll evolve and realize how wrong he was in what he said. Maybe he won't help you, but he'll remember what you did and help someone else.
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| Apr 5, 2006 @ 9:40 PM |
rethinking my actions |
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soul_decisions
Posts: 872
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ask to have the money to be given to the son on your behalf to use it against a crash course on humanity. You did a wonderful thing and I'm sure you neighbor is watching over you.
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| Apr 6, 2006 @ 1:23 AM |
rethinking my actions
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midnightthunder
Posts: 236
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Take comfort in knowing you are much more of a human being than him, he is the one should be rethinking.
It was an ugly statement made by someone who is ugly inside, hopefully he will change.
You are the better person and, no don't change for anything or anybody.
If it makes you happy, and you feel good inside, don't stop.
Money is not what defines a person, it is what is inside of that person, and you have shown compassion and a strong sense of caring, when all is said and done you will be the richer for it.
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| Apr 6, 2006 @ 12:12 PM |
rethinking my actions |
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tezra
Posts: 195
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For all you know this guy is remembering something you've forgotten. Or, he is just grieving. People aren't always "themselves" after a death.
Part about all of this is where you expect anything at all in return. The true act of charity doesn't. When I drop off formula and toys for the neighbors, I just leave it on the porch and go, usually when they are gone. I have no need to embarrass, insult, or make them uncomfortable in any way by them thinking I consider them a "charity case" or something. I have a neighbor who is nice, in her own way, but she irritates me greatly. I am civil and all, but not interested in becoming close friends as I would need a crowbar to get her grand daughter (a real brat) back out of my house. At any rate, she sends things over, like plants and cookies from time to time. I have never wanted any of this stuff, and just have to smile and say thank you, and then figure out what to do with it after I shut the door. I don't want my house filling up with more plants. I already have too many, but she keeps sending them over. Sure, she is just trying to be nice, but is actually driving me nuts.
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