| Apr 15, 2006 @ 9:22 PM |
On Denying Friends
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sleeping_beauty
Posts: 464
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It didn't bother me before but lately i'm beginning to feel guilty about it. I've been denying friendly requests for the reason other than there is nothing in the guy's profile that interests me or even an encouragement to consider them for including in my friends circle especially if there is no picture posted. I only accepted those who sent a pm first then tells me who they are and have mentioned stuff and things that i'm interested in. I thought accepting one into your friends circle means you are really interested in becoming their friends and not just for the sake of giving people the impression of popularity. I looked at other profiles and noticed that many users seemed to accept just about anyone who sent them friends requests. Now I worry that I may have given them the arrogant and selfish impression.
The other day, I'm surprised to see a very good looking guy with an impressive profile sent me a friend requests. I thought I'd accept him but halted when i clicked on his Friends button and found out he's got over a thousand friends who are mostly sexy and dropdead gorgeous women at MD.  I felt the urge to deny him on the grounds that I will not allow myself to become a part of a huge collection.  Had he sent me a pm first stating his intention, I might have changed my mind.
How about you people? Do you accept anyone who send you friend requests?
regards,
Sleeping_Beauty
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| Apr 15, 2006 @ 9:30 PM |
On Denying Friends |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 18,615
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The people who show up on my friends list are pretty much all people I've exchanged emails with or at least exchanged posts with here in the forums. MD had said they were going to use the friends lists, but they've been pretty busy, guess they just haven't gotten to it yet.
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| Apr 15, 2006 @ 9:30 PM |
On Denying Friends
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,955
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i accept basically everybody, yeah...i don't think i've turned anybody down yet.
I'm not understanding this, really. You posted in the thread about just wanting friends. So why are you turning down people who want to be your friends because they don't fit your dating criteria????
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| Apr 15, 2006 @ 9:32 PM |
On Denying Friends |
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spongebob777
Posts: 7,904
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You're kind of a regular among we forum users so that automatically puts you on my friends list even if you aren't literally on it.
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| Apr 15, 2006 @ 9:34 PM |
On Denying Friends
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sciurusniger
Posts: 2,958
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No, of course not. If I don't know them from Adam (or Eve, for that matter), how can they be considered a friend?
That said, I will look at someone's friends list because in a simple way it can be, as you noted, telling. A man with lots of only half-dressed women in Playboy poses as friends...gives me pause.
Those with pages and pages of friends...give me pause, too.
This isn't high school, you know. But then again, maybe some really don't know? Either way, they aren't likely to be the kind of people who would become a real friend of mine so "request denied".
And I don't feel the least bit guilty, either.
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| Apr 15, 2006 @ 9:35 PM |
On Denying Friends |
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mailorderannie
Posts: 6,021
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I know what you are talking about Sleeping Beauty. I've gotten 3 friends requests from men I'm never chatted with, received emails from nor are they on the forums. When I checked their friends, there were pages and pages of women. Guess some guys just like collecting women online that they don't even talk to. I've refused the requests.
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| Apr 15, 2006 @ 9:37 PM |
On Denying Friends
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Loreli
Posts: 25,413
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I feel the same way, Sci.
I have gotten requests from guys I have never even seen on here before. If somebody is around the forums, and we exchange talk there, or we email a few times, then I will add to friends, or they may add me.
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| Apr 15, 2006 @ 9:55 PM |
On Denying Friends |
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spongebob777
Posts: 7,904
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Just yesterday I added someone that I've never spoken to before. In fact we still haven't spoken. He sent the request and I added him. If nothing else I can now go directly to his profile to read his blogs.
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| Apr 15, 2006 @ 10:00 PM |
On Denying Friends
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sleeping_beauty
Posts: 464
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Thanks for your opinions folks. And to respond to LGQ's remark:
I'm not understanding this, really. You posted in the thread about just wanting friends. So why are you turning down people who want to be your friends because they don't fit your dating criteria????
Now you see dear, the function of the Friends button here is pretty useless at all. In another social networking site where i'm also one of the mods, Inviting One to your friends circle means so much more than just adding IDs. You are also being accepted to a huge circle of Friends where you can get to know other Friend's Friend and interact with all of them, leading you to a whole new world of opportunity to meet all sort of friends from all walks of life through your own private forum where no one can access except those belonging to your friends group. I'm not sure what MD was up to when they added that feature when everything could also be done with the Favorites (Messenger) feature.
And yep, i'm turning them down because what's the point of accepting them if I can't commit myself to that friendship? I'm picky when it comes to friend and it is also my choice to accept only people that i know could be my real friends not only online but in real life. And yep, i won't deny friendships to anyone i met on the forums here whether they have photos or not.  What i am refering to are those who aren't forum members but those regular MD users who have been clicking profiles hoping to hit the jackpot. 
regards,
sleeping_beauty
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| Apr 15, 2006 @ 10:01 PM |
On Denying Friends |
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AngelLight
Posts: 5,620
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I feel exactly the same way as Sci.
Ditto. Ditto. Ditto.
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| Apr 15, 2006 @ 10:01 PM |
On Denying Friends
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wandaful123
Posts: 1,614
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I also am not comfortable adding "friends" I have never had any contact with. Just doesn't make any sense to me. I have as of yet not added any of these requests but also never had the heart to deny them either? Foolish eh? so they just sit there, and sit and sit... So I know what you mean sleeping. Things that make you go hmmm...
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| Apr 15, 2006 @ 10:10 PM |
On Denying Friends |
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,955
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OK!! I understand now.
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| Apr 15, 2006 @ 10:11 PM |
On Denying Friends
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PsychoMagnet
Posts: 251
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I accept all friend requests, whether I know them or not. It's not like I'm co-signing a loan or anything.
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| Apr 15, 2006 @ 10:16 PM |
On Denying Friends |
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ChgoSingleDad
Posts: 292
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I haven't added anyone, only because no one sends me requests....
But, they would have to be someone I either chat with, or correspond with here on MD....
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| Apr 15, 2006 @ 10:28 PM |
On Denying Friends
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mailorderannie
Posts: 6,021
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uh Chicago...I'll bet that post will get you some friend requests quickly! Like the wink-a-thon several weeks ago, lol
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| Apr 15, 2006 @ 10:29 PM |
On Denying Friends |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 18,615
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Chicago...check your profile hon. You have several friends!
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| Apr 16, 2006 @ 12:16 AM |
On Denying Friends
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Palomino
Posts: 7,635
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27 of the people on my friends list, I have met in person. The others I have known on the message boards...some for years, some just recently. :)
This happens to me on MySpace, though. Someone requests to be added to my friend list. Hello? Do I even know you? I don't think so. 
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| Apr 16, 2006 @ 12:22 AM |
On Denying Friends |
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JenRNinOhio
Posts: 4,161
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the wink-a-thon was fun
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| Apr 16, 2006 @ 2:15 AM |
On Denying Friends
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the_real_me_ok
Posts: 293
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I wrote an enitre blog about this recently because it bothered me so much hehe....a guy sent me a friend request, no email with it or anything....I don't like it when they do that especially when I've never seen them on forums or emailed them, etc. I read his profile, saw he had 113 friends....to me that says he just adds people for the hell of it, as a popularity or status type thing. Some may not care but personally I don't want to be a part of it. So I declined the request and sent him a polite, brief email explaining why. I told him that I keep in contact with each and every one of my Friends, I know them all by first name, write them on a very regular basis, and I seriously doubted he could do the same with 113 people on his list. He wrote back telling me how rude I was and that I didn't have to insult him in such a way. I wrote him again asking him what part of my email insulted him, and he never answered. I truly think a lot of people use the Friends feature as a popularity contest, they have a lot of people on there whom they never even talk to. I don't understand the rationality of that. Why feel guilty about denying friends? All that says about you is, the friends you do have mean more to you than a name on a list. 
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| Apr 16, 2006 @ 3:53 AM |
On Denying Friends |
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chinabull2000
Posts: 7,012
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I don't really accept friends requests either unless I hit the wrong button, not because I don't like the person or because I'm not interested in being friends with them, but becuse I have also seen profiles here with 50, 100, 200 friends, which seems rather pointless to me because I am almost sure that most of those 200 people have not even swapped pm's with the person. So, to the people here on the forums that have sent me a friends request, it really doesn't mean anything at all that I said no. The people here who ARE my friends know who they are and don't need to be on any list.
Oh, hey Loreli, I just noticed you managed to sneak onto my list somehow! 
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