| May 7, 2006 @ 10:16 AM |
Something bugging me
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spongebob777
Posts: 7,904
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I was going over some old e-mails this morning and I realize that there are a few former MD members who left because they found someone. That in it'self isn't really a big deal. In fact it's a good thing.
What bothers me are the farewells from people who say that the person they met doesn't want them talking to myself or other users. What kind of pathetic piece of garbage does this? I also have to wonder about the self image of someone who allows themselves to be separated from their online friends.
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| May 7, 2006 @ 10:21 AM |
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,791
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Rather mean and petty of them to do that isn`t it?..I`m usually upfront about such things and come right out and tell them that I won`t give up my friends..after all their just friends.. 
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| May 7, 2006 @ 10:29 AM |
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spongebob777
Posts: 7,904
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Even as an immature teenager I was mature enough to know that my girlfriend would have friends, even male friends.
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| May 7, 2006 @ 10:39 AM |
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Lee_Danger
Posts: 4,505
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I have mixed feelings about this one. It's harder to see the great things about a person you're with, when you're talking online to someone who you see even greater things in. I know this from experience.
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| May 7, 2006 @ 10:47 AM |
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minky
Posts: 239
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Maybe that new person in their life just wants all the attention. A bit insecure
maybe, but calling them a piece of garbage is harsh.
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| May 7, 2006 @ 10:51 AM |
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spongebob777
Posts: 7,904
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calling them a piece of garbage is harsh.
Not really, they more often not tend to be control freaks and are often abusive in the end.
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| May 7, 2006 @ 10:54 AM |
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,791
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A bit insecure maybe,
 Then perhaps they need to get over their insecurity and learn to Trust a little more.
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| May 7, 2006 @ 10:55 AM |
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wandaful123
Posts: 1,511
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It's harder to see the great things about a person you're with, when you're talking online to someone who you see even greater things in.
I agree, and would be totally unfair to the new relationship. Some ties need to be cut.
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| May 7, 2006 @ 10:57 AM |
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spongebob777
Posts: 7,904
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I think Katt and Haban are a great example of maturity and trust.
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| May 7, 2006 @ 10:57 AM |
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Loreli
Posts: 20,309
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It would be selfish and controlling of somebody if they did that just to stop their new mate from other communications. As long as that mate was just talking, not blatantly leading members of the opposite sex on.
Then again, if they do it because they just want to have a life away from the computer, that would be acceptable.
Nobody should be forced to give up real friends-online or off.
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| May 7, 2006 @ 11:00 AM |
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,791
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Some ties need to be cut.
I see no differance in having online friends and friends in the real world..and I myself wouldn`t think of giving up my friends in the real world..and I doubt very much if the guy/woman whoever would give up theirs either..especially friends you`ve had for years.
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| May 7, 2006 @ 11:04 AM |
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wandaful123
Posts: 1,511
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I think Katt and Haban are a great example of maturity and trust.
I think all here will agree to that. It is also nice that they are here "together"
Nobody should be forced to give up real friends-online or off.
Nobody can really force anyone to do anything. The people who are leaving are doing so by choice. If the choice they are making is one they are comfortable with, this is good. If they are doing it and not happy about it, they will be back anyway... and prob fairly soon 
Tink, I was referring to what Lee said as far as some ties need to be cut.. I think it would be unfair to continue a relationship with another, on-line, when that other is one you would really like to persue a relationship with but can't because of whatever circumstances. How can you focus on making it work in the new relationship if you are still hanging on to the fantasy of an old one?
[Edited on 5/7/2006 11:10 AM]
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| May 7, 2006 @ 11:09 AM |
Something bugging me
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spongebob777
Posts: 7,904
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I myself wouldn`t think of giving up my friends in the real world.
That works both ways as well. I've had to point out to my friends that they needed to accept my girlfriend the same way she needed to accept my friends. At 19 years old I had to tell my friends and my girlfriend that everybody needs to be civil or I don't need any of them.
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| May 7, 2006 @ 11:09 AM |
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,088
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I don't think there's anything unreasonable about asking your partner to stop using an internet dating site.
I do think there's something wrong with saying "I'd like you to stop using Matchdoctor and I wouldn't appreciate it if you simply emailed or instant messaged the friends you met there."
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| May 7, 2006 @ 11:21 AM |
Something bugging me
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spongebob777
Posts: 7,904
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I don't think there's anything unreasonable about asking your partner to stop using an internet dating site.
It's one thing to do it on your own, it's another to do it because someone else wants you to. I think there's a certain ammount of insecurity on the person doing what their told. I know that in one particular case I'm thinking of, insecurity was pretty obvious because she constantly sought approval from myself and others. Next thing you know, she disappeared with the first guy who would take her even with his conditional acceptance.
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| May 7, 2006 @ 11:27 AM |
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kattsmeow
Posts: 21,272
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I think Katt and Haban are a great example of maturity and trust.
I think all here will agree to that. It is also nice that they are here "together"
Thats the thing right there.
Also, why wouldn't we come back and let everyone know that this site is where we first met.
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| May 7, 2006 @ 11:30 AM |
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,791
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How can you focus on making it work in the new relationship if you are still hanging on to the fantasy of an old one?
I`m not referring to the fantasy of an old love or whatever...I have friends on here who are just that..."Friends" and have been My friends for the last 5-6 years...and yes they are male friends...and very platonic friends at that...why should I give them up..
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| May 7, 2006 @ 11:30 AM |
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,088
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If your partner does something that makes you uncomfortable, why shouldn't you talk to them about it and possibly ask them to stop? I'm not saying order them to stop, but just say "This makes me uncomfortable, I'd appreciate it if you stopped it but if you really like doing it then it's fine with me, I'll learn to live with it."
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| May 7, 2006 @ 11:34 AM |
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spongebob777
Posts: 7,904
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If your partner does something that makes you uncomfortable, why shouldn't you talk to them about it and possibly ask them to stop?
Within reason that's obvious. In the situation I'm thinking of she said that her new boyfriend wasn't comfortable with her talking to us online. That included both male and female friends.
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| May 7, 2006 @ 11:35 AM |
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wandaful123
Posts: 1,511
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I`m not referring to the fantasy of an old love or whatever...
I am.  Was referencing what I thought was a very insightful statement by Lee
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