| Jan 1, 2006 @ 7:10 AM |
Who is really genuine?
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toretto349
Posts: 10
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This may sound like moan, and it probably is, but can anyone please tell me why (from a male point of view as I am sure a lot of men also do it) do women who plaster their profile with "I am so genuine" "I am so nice" and make little comments like "I am so genuine I only want genuine men to contact me with genuine messages". So why then when a "genuine" man sends a "genuine" message do these so called "genuine" women then totally ignore it?
Surely that is ignorant? I mean it is one thing to chat to someone then say "sorry your not my type" but how do they do that without even talking to you? Is there a rise in physic abilities within women on dating sites?
Thing is, being a genuine guy, you decide to follow up your first message with a poilte "remember me" message, only to then get "cant you take no for an answer" or "get lost you stalker" or worse as I have had.
So, big question, is if they dont want people to message them whether genuine or not, WHY BOTHER SETTING UP A PROFILE ON A DATING SITE"?!
Anyone else had a similar experience? Male or female.
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| Jan 1, 2006 @ 1:12 PM |
Who is really genuine? |
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devonguy
Posts: 463
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A lot of girls get so much mail that it would take them most of there ‘on line’ time to reply to them all, so they ‘just don’t’!
Some girls have found that replying with ‘thanks but no thanks’ gets them a load of abuse in return!
Others have had ‘stalker’ experiences because (some) men see any kind of response as a ‘come on’. So they only reply to a select few!
Not my opinion, just what I have been told.
Tip! Make them laugh, don’t be too ‘heavy’
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| Jan 1, 2006 @ 1:36 PM |
Who is really genuine?
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Alectryon
Posts: 145
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Yep. Snap. You're preaching to the converted.
I'll give you a simple illustration.
I emailed a woman who I thought was quite interesting with a short, polite and amusing note and got no reply. No surprises there. We've all heard the women's reasons for that; too many emails, not enough time...washing my hair...washing the cat, on the phone, etc., etc., and I have some sympathy with that given the number of completely moronic males on here, even though I personally think a reply, however short, is just common courtesy and good manners. But then good manners are in short supply nowadays in both sexes.
Anyway, when I saw this woman was online, I messaged her. Because users don't get any warning from Matchdoctor that someone is trying to IM them, it took a while for her to respond. By which time I had had time to type:
"In the immortal words of Tony Hanc0ck...'Civility costs nothing.' Adding, "a reply to my email would be nice even if it is only too say 'bugger off, not interested."
Now, she took that as 'rude'. When I said it was merely 'direct and honest' (i.e., I did not want to waste HER time) she 'smacked' me, closed her IM window and blocked me.
What do you make of that? I have since emailed her to tactfully suggest that if she thinks I was 'rude' her behaviour takes 'rudeness' to new levels. Is it any wonder the women on here complain that 'decent' guys won't contact them, or ask 'where are the decent guys?'
We're here, ladies, but I'm afraid that many of you are too full of self-importance and blinded by bitterness, suppessed anger and suspicion to notice us. Instead you fall for the same plausible losers you've fallen for before, or hug your loneliness and self-pity to you like a comforting blanket, playing with the genuine guys who do contact you out of some misguided sense of vengeance against all the men who ever hurt you. That is not the way to win friends and influence people!
Then there are all the liars and cheats who naively imagine that we're so desperate to find love that we'll not notice the tell-tale signs of duplicity and dishonesty in their profiles and emails.
Sorry, ladies, not all of us are that dumb or that needy.
I even came across one profile the other day full of the usual bollox about 'honesty' 'kindness' and 'generosity' (not to mention 'GENUINE') only to find later down the page that the woman was looking for (or said she was), someone who 'enjoyed pain' and was into sedism (her spelling mistake, not mine). And the lady says she is a regular churchgoer!
This is just the tip of a very murky iceberg in my view. I doubt whether more than a handful of all the people on here are what the dictionary would describe as 'genuine,' nor is honesty or generosity of spirit to be found among many of them (both male and female), much less humility. I'm not blaming them. Life mirrors art and dating sites mirror the real world. With this important difference: dating sites seem to attract more than the average number of train wrecks, emotionally disturbed, psychotic and plainly manipulative and downright selfish among humanity. Possibly because they know that no one would give them a second look in real life, or if they did, beat a hasty retreat when their true colours were revealed. But online, you can be whatever you choose to be and no one is any the wiser until the day you meet them and the scales fall from your eyes. Which may explain why some people have been on here and other sites for years. Maybe they are the genuine ones, maybe some are players too, or just looking for friendship, but the genuine ones who are looking for truly decent men and women will have a hard time finding any gold among all the dross on here.
I've found just ONE such person in a month on here, sadly not my type. I don't expect to be on here long enough to find out if there are any more. And I think that this is true of many genuine people. They'll give it a go, as I have. Maybe for a month or a year, and then it'll dawn on them that they stand as much chance, if not more, finding what they're looking for OFFLINE. Either by joining a traditional dating agency, by socialising more, or by joining clubs and societies where it's possible to meet like-minded people face to face.
None of this is Matchdoctor's fault. Indeed, I think MD is one of the better dating sites. It's just the result of people having unrealistic expectations (fuelled by Hollywood movies) and the myth that true and abiding love can be found at the drop of hat, or by sending off a few winks or emails. It can't. And it's made all the more difficult by very few people on here (or any other site) being open and honest about what the want and who they truly are.
That's my take on it all anyway. I hope it's of some consolation, Toretto
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| Jan 1, 2006 @ 1:48 PM |
Who is really genuine? |
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Alectryon
Posts: 145
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devon wrote: A lot of girls get so much mail that it would take them most of there ‘on line’ time to reply to them all, so they ‘just don’t’!
Sorry, not good enough, Devon me old mate. If we all used that excuse, common courtesy would die out completely, as opposed to just being unfashionable. So they get some abuse. So block the sender. How hard is that? It reminds me of the argument I once had with a g/f about why I gave spare change to beggars. I'm not stupid. I know most of them will piss it away or shoot it into their veins. But some might not. For some it might just be the the catalyst they needed to climb out of the gutter. I'd rather help a thousand wasters than let one genuine, deserving person down.
The same applies to replying to emails. OK, fine, if it's 'I wanna suck your tits baby,' ignore it and block it. But if it's a carefully written, seemingly genuine letter at least have the common courtesty to bloody well acknowledge it with a reply, however terse.
As for 'stalkers,' block them and report them to Matchdoctor. Again, how hard is that? For goodness sake, if you're going to assume the worst about every man who contacts you on here you have some serious personality issues and should seriously ask yourself whether you should be 'dating' at all.
Making them laugh is not always the answer either. Some of them just need a damn good spanking Devon!
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| Jan 1, 2006 @ 4:07 PM |
Who is really genuine?
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devonguy
Posts: 463
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Alectryon
I love your posts! I don’t always agree with what you say, but I love the way you say it!
However, I think you and your mate on hear are ‘trying to hard’ and it shows! I have only had one girl on this site that has not replied to me! And I have a lot of female friends on this site, QED 
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| Jan 1, 2006 @ 4:40 PM |
Who is really genuine? |
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Alectryon
Posts: 145
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That's because you're such a hot young stud, Devon. Wait until you're 99 and see how many replies you get. Or maybe my willy is just too damn small. Got a vacuum pump I could borrow perchance?
[Edited on 1/1/2006 4:40 PM]
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| Jan 1, 2006 @ 4:56 PM |
Who is really genuine?
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devonguy
Posts: 463
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O dear! Now you will have to explain what a ‘willy’ is to all the nice American lades on the site!
(Good luck on that)
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| Jan 1, 2006 @ 5:20 PM |
Who is really genuine? |
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Alectryon
Posts: 145
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Explain 'Willy'? Where have you been? They all know. And 'todger' and 'knob'. 'Hugely-empurpled, throbbing man-meat' can confuse them though, as can 'lovebutton' and 'lighty-forested uplands bedewed with a becoming moisture.' I did get one lass from Idaho terribly flustered when I mentioned that her exploration of my Navy Blue, cavalry twills was likely to awaken the 'Bosun's Persuader. '
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| Jan 2, 2006 @ 5:47 AM |
Who is really genuine?
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toretto349
Posts: 10
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OK guys, I appreciate all your comments, but we are talking about people being genuine, how come it always has to come down to sex? Now for the record, I agree and disagree with the replies I have had. You see, "genuine" is a word with a lot of different meanings. We are all focused on people replying to us etc, that we forget to think, "what were they trying to acheieve"? In other words, when the male or female set up the profile from day one, what were they thniking?
Define genuine? Am I genuine because even though I am a mass murderer I dont lie to you? Or am I genuine because I set up a profile with words I know you want to hear over my own words? Am I genuine simply because I reply with even a "NO thanks"?
This is where we all go wrong in a lot of things. Just because what we see as decent genuine and kind, is not the same as the next man or woman. What some of us lash out against is not infact the rudeness of the reply or lack of it, but rather at out own short comings in not being able to understand or pick out the right profile to message etc.
The dating game as they call it these days has evolved to a hell of a new level. People talk about women now being the ones to take charge etc, well I am all for that, but not when it is weilded as some sort of iconic symbol of power.
Ideally things should be fair but they are never going to be really as that is the way of the world and a whole new topic of chat that I am not going into.
I simply post these threads to ask questions. All of what I write is based on my own experiences and therefore are my own opinions and nothing more so to any men or women who may read or reply, i say this. "Have your opinion and share it with me but do not take it personal as it is not directed at you"
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| Jan 3, 2006 @ 5:46 PM |
Who is really genuine? |
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Alectryon
Posts: 145
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Huh? WTF mentioned 'sex.' Not me guv. We went off topic into the different words Americans and English use to describe genitalia. That's a question of semantics, not romance.
I think I made it pretty clear in an earlier post what my definition of 'Genuine' is. Pretty much what the OED says it is:
Actually possessing the alleged or apparent attribute or character. Not spurious or counterfeit; authentic. Free from hypocrisy or dishonesty; sincere.
I'd go with that last one especially. How about you?
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| Jan 6, 2006 @ 3:02 PM |
Who is really genuine?
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schnapsi
Posts: 9
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Wish more men had this attitude...
Thank you
schnapsi
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| Jan 7, 2006 @ 4:53 AM |
Who is really genuine? |
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toretto349
Posts: 10
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which attitude is that then?
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| Mar 9, 2006 @ 7:02 AM |
Who is really genuine?
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crusader518
Posts: 1
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There are a lot of scams being run on the web , I applied online for pen pals recently and received lots of letters about people wanting to invest money in my Bank account (mainly from Africa and SouthAmerica), also a flurry of very beautiful Russian ladies with offers of love first, followed by requests of large sums of money, I agree with you that the is a number of folk who abuse these sites, but it's just a case of being cautious
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| Mar 9, 2006 @ 7:19 AM |
Who is really genuine? |
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bellarose
Posts: 29
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Well, it doesn't happen to me cos i'm Soooo purrrrfect and genuine bit if you would like some pointers on being the most fantasitic person in the world, then don't heitate to ask  But on a more serious note, it happens to us all. Annoying as it is, it's just the nature of it. Do you believe that it's fate? I do.
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| Mar 13, 2006 @ 6:35 AM |
Who is really genuine?
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mark894
Posts: 1
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I think you just have to take the "crunchy with the smooth" (copyright billy bragg) And Rise above it really..
As for what Genuine means I presume it means not after a one night stand and looks like the photo on the profile!!
Mind you thats a whole new can o worms, they always ask for another photo so they can "be sure" its you, you ask the same and your a pervert looking for nudey snaps 
Ah Well C'est la vie
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| Mar 25, 2006 @ 5:17 AM |
Who is really genuine? |
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aj007is
Posts: 1
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So why then when a "genuine" man sends a "genuine" message do these so called "genuine" women then totally ignore it?
Good question - and I have asked the same 100's of times.
Thing is, being a genuine guy, you decide to follow up your first message with a poilte "remember me" message, only to then get "cant you take no for an answer" or "get lost you stalker" or worse as I have had.
Only had one bad reply - and that was because I asked why they were using a Dawn French photo - I got their profile deleted... 
So, big question, is if they dont want people to message them whether genuine or not, WHY BOTHER SETTING UP A PROFILE ON A DATING SITE"?!
Exactly - I have waisted hours and hours reading and replying and have had just one reply - (they wanted someone more local)
Anyone else had a similar experience? Male or female.
Yes, every other website I have been on. and I have been on a lot for quiet a few years. As above 1 reply only...
IMO - these sites are a total waist of time and I would NEVER pay to join any of them especially when you do a bit of reseach... 
if interested check out this website about dating scams...
Dating scams 
http://www.datingnmore.com/fraud/scam_email.htm
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| Apr 5, 2006 @ 11:37 AM |
Who is really genuine?
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sexycuban
Posts: 1
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hi
i like this conversation
i'm really genuine.
i'm sure about it.
what about you.?
what are you talking about?.
please just tell me 
i wanna know men.
i'm talking about an others experiences.
WOULD YOU?
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| Apr 7, 2006 @ 3:27 PM |
Who is really genuine? |
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taika
Posts: 12
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toretto, maybe they feel that some of the guys are not genuine? you know.. all this blah-blah about female intuition...
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| Apr 15, 2006 @ 9:24 PM |
Who is really genuine?
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pabongirl
Posts: 14
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I've come to the conclusion that most people are visual animals. They take in with their eyes and forget that looks can very well be deceiving. I always say "Never judge a book by its cover". I think it's quit funny how many have so many specifics on their profiles - such as: must be beautiful, slim, weigh under this much, must be this and must be that. It just seems to me as if the outside of the individual is the only thing that is important in a relationship. I've known people both men and women that are very good looking, but can be rather ugly  internally and visa versa.
If you're going to connect, you're going to do so because you are right for one another - internally
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| Apr 17, 2006 @ 4:02 AM |
Who is really genuine? |
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damsel480
Posts: 1
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perhaps your e mailing the wrong women
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