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| Aug 12, 2006 @ 12:34 PM |
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RealMee
Posts: 33
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Ladies, isn't it annoying when you read a guy's personal ad on this or any other dating site and his list of preferences is practically impossible?
What if he prefers larger-breasted women and you can't fill the order without an operation? A little unfair, don't you think?
What if he prefers stick-figured women and meeting that requirement would require a Body By Jake or a different operation (or two)?
What if he prefers cute little noses and/or perfect smiles and/or perfect bone structure? Is yet another operation required?
Of course, you would most likely write off such a man as not only being an imperfect match for you but also shallow, maybe even a jerk. Am I right?
So why is it acceptable for you to "require" that your mates be "tall" or at least taller than you?
Please explain that one.
I understand that there is a surgical procedure that can add a few inches to one's height but it requires essentially breaking both legs and features a long, painful recovery. Would you break both your legs to gain larger breasts?
There just isn't much a man can do about his height. Yet I've come across countless profiles on dating sites where women insist that all potential mates be at least 5'10" or even six feet.
My next question is, if you are one of those women who "needs" her mate to be a certain height, would you call yourself shallow -- or worse?
I would.
Don't get me wrong: I'm 5'8", which means I'm a little taller than most women I meet locally. But when I see an ad in which a woman lists her height at 5'4" yet insists that her men be over six feet, I get a little annoyed.
I know, I know: a lot of men have very shallow, unreasonable preferences, too. I also know that if Miss 5'4" is beautiful or "hot", she will have plenty of suitors lining up who fit her requirements... for now.
But, you who are reading this, do you think you could scan your mate preference list and see if there's any requirement on it that is shallow, unfair, or even impossible? You might be painting a pretty ugly picture of yourself and not even realize it.
Oh, and if you're one of those girls who just has to be able to stare UP into her honey's eyes, have him stand on a telephone book, for heaven's sake.
And grow up.
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| Aug 12, 2006 @ 2:00 PM |
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kinglouis2005
Posts: 856
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Well its kinda funny because all this talk of not being shallow or judging a person by what is in the inside yet we all have our preferences.
It doesnt just go by looks..it can be religion, accents, skin color, hobbies etc...
The fact is we prefer what we prefer but there is so much variety in the world there is no need to be overly concerned with what some people prefer....others think differntly and thank goodness for that.
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| Aug 12, 2006 @ 2:35 PM |
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wiccked
Posts: 12,300
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i am only 5'4" but i prefer a man taller than me!!!  when i was younger, i was friends (and only friends!!) with several jockeys- i was taller than them and weighed more, to boot-  they were really nice men but i think i would have been able to kick their a**  and when dancing, i never did know whether to lead or follow i feel more protected with a much larger man-  of course, they can get their a** kicked too- you know how it goes- THE BIGGER THEY ARE, THE HARDER THEY FALL.............THE SMALLER THEY ARE, THE LONGER THEY LAY!!!!!!!!!!
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| Aug 12, 2006 @ 3:14 PM |
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SunBabe
Posts: 12,279
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What does height have to do with it? I notice you haven't been stuffing my mailbox with witty come-ons 
Oh ~gasp~ could it be that I'm perhaps a bit OLD?...AND infertile? Dang that's shallow.  
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| Aug 12, 2006 @ 3:42 PM |
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Ensaged
Posts: 620
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This is why we have profiles that detail our preferences.
As long as you don't make fun of someone to whom you aren't attracted, then things are fine.
RealMee, people are different and we all have things we like and prefer.
If you can't handle the simple fact of this cruel world, then you should just end it now or enter a distant monastery.
You should grow up a bit yourself and learn to overcome your insecurities.
[Edited on 8/12/2006 3:59 PM]
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| Aug 12, 2006 @ 3:47 PM |
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mailorderannie
Posts: 6,021
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Dang! I could at least meet the "big tits" criteria!
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| Aug 12, 2006 @ 3:52 PM |
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SunBabe
Posts: 12,279
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...and I almost skipped this post 
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| Aug 12, 2006 @ 4:40 PM |
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ynot77
Posts: 453
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THE BIGGER THEY ARE, THE HARDER THEY FALL.............THE SMALLER THEY ARE, THE LONGER THEY LAY!!!!!!!!!!
he he he  yet another myth.....realy the way it is ...the bigger they are the harder they are to KNOCK DOWN.......and they probably all lay there the same amount of time .. 
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| Aug 12, 2006 @ 4:44 PM |
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kinglouis2005
Posts: 856
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Not trying to stir up crap Real but in your Ideal mate section you have:
body type: Athletic / Toned, Average, Slim / Slender
Any reason that BBW or a few extra pounds were not in the profile?
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| Aug 12, 2006 @ 4:49 PM |
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SunBabe
Posts: 12,279
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That's why I thought he might like ME
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| Aug 12, 2006 @ 4:52 PM |
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RealMee
Posts: 33
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I knew this post would likely garner a few heated responses. But this one: "people are different and we all have things we like and prefer. If you can't handle the simple fact of this cruel world, then you should just end it now or enter a distant monastery. You should grow up a bit yourself and learn to overcome your insecurities" strikes me as a little mean-spirited.
But then I suppose my initial post could be seen as mean-spirited, too. What comes around goes around, I guess.
Regardless, this post is intended to point out that preferring tall men is in my opinion at least as shallow as preferring women with big boobs.
I'm not asking women to not prefer tall men just as I'm not asking men to not prefer big boobs. Heck, if tall/boobs are what you really really want and you won't be happy without them, go for it. See? I get that "people are different and we all have things we like" (but thanks for pointing that out anyway, Ensaged).
I'm saying if you are going to list tall as one of your requirements in a partner, I am going to put you in the same category as guys who list big boobs as a requirement.
Enjoy the company!
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| Aug 12, 2006 @ 4:55 PM |
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kinglouis2005
Posts: 856
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Real YOU are certainly entitled to your preferences and frankly I see no problem with that.
On the other hand I might see soemone who I like but prefers caucasion/christian men..Well Im not that so its ok...
Big boobs used to be a preferance of mine BTW...and yes I know this was just an example..
But I have since changed my mind.
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| Aug 12, 2006 @ 4:58 PM |
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RealMee
Posts: 33
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In response to this message: "Not trying to stir up crap Real but in your Ideal mate section you have: 'body type: Athletic / Toned, Average, Slim / Slender'. Any reason that BBW or a few extra pounds were not in the profile?"
It's simple: You can lose weight. You can't make yourself taller.
As I said in my initial posting: "Ladies, isn't it annoying when you read a guy's personal ad on this or any other dating site and his list of preferences is practically impossible?"
Losing weight isn't easy for everyone, and it might be very difficult for some, but it's not practically impossible for most people.
It's practically impossible for most people to become taller.
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| Aug 12, 2006 @ 5:04 PM |
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kinglouis2005
Posts: 856
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your point is understood, but even though Weight can be changed and Height cannot they both are physical attributes that we gather in a moments notice without ever even having to talk to a person.
Now I am not tall 5'10" and if a woman likes a guy to be 6' or taller then I am done.
But I dont fret about it or even concern myself with it.
Again I understand your point, i just dont understand why it is a concern...
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| Aug 12, 2006 @ 5:12 PM |
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RealMee
Posts: 33
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I wouldn't put religious preferences in the same category as physical preferences because religion is a choice (at least for most people). You choose your religion. You don't choose to be tall or short.
Ethnic preferences are a different story. I think most people base their ethnic or racial preferences on past experiences rather than on what turns them on. In other words, if you say "I am not attracted to Martians" it is most likely because you have never met a Martian to whom you were attracted. If/when you meet a hot Martian, you will likely widen your preference scope to include Martians (unless your first Martian breaks your heart, the bastard).
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| Aug 12, 2006 @ 5:17 PM |
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hotlips12095
Posts: 27
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actually - I've learned that EVERYTHING is not LOOKS- i might meet a short, not so good looking man on the outside but he might be the nicest guy you'd ever meet- IF you gave him a chance- No different than the spec needs kids I work with- GIVE them a chance and you might be suprised what you'd find!
OK off my soap box and back into the woodwork lurking-LOL
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| Aug 12, 2006 @ 5:29 PM |
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SunBabe
Posts: 12,279
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I was married to a Vulcan -- seriously...made Spock look frivoulous. I don't want a Vulcan ever again. 
How tall are Martians? Are they ALL green? (Ah, not that I'm biggoted...it's just that some shades of green wouldn't match my decor -- I'm shallow that way)
~sigh~ there ARE a few things we can't easily change...height and age...and gender. But we CAN do our best with what we've got!
And I gotta tell ya, anyone I've been with has been pretty surprised that I wasn't what they THOUGHT they wanted (generally a tiny 5'2", busty, long-dark-haired wispy waist young Italian/Asian/Hispanic-type...'cheerleader-ish' I sure ain't  )
So actually, just stop looking at those "preferences" and taking them so seriously...if you see someone that strikes you in the 'right' way, just go for it, silly  You never know
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| Aug 12, 2006 @ 6:04 PM |
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irisheagle
Posts: 2,541
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 This Thread is so Like High school...
No offense People. But it is what it is. We all have the options
of Moving from one profile to the Next, With like millions of
people out there and many looking these days,
it's a SmorgashBoard of Chioces.
Sure you might get taken by a face that is like out of this
world and then see her/his Profile and they dont want you
cause your 6ft, so what? just move on to the next, sheesh.
Personally my First wife was a Pitite 5'4" with a Big chest
And no more than 115lbs and i loved her hieght.
Then my 2nd wife was 5'8" but with shoes or heels she really
towered over me as i'm only 5'7" and she had ittybittytitties, lol
but she could have easily kicked my a** anyday, if she took the notion.
Adn the last couple women i had dated have all had D's Or DD"s and i really
don't care for them that big at all, just my preference i guess.
i guess my point is, even our individual Tastes change over time.
As we get older we accept more things as being silly to even
have issues with and accept each person for who they are inside,
no matter The Outward appearence. i've always looked more so at
BBW's but that dont mean i like Big BazOOka's at all. and now the woman
i'm talking to, well Gosh guys, Never ever in my 50 years Did i think that
such a Gorgeous woman would consider me Sexy.
even the last one never called me that, unless i went fishing..
so i say it's just a preference, that may or may not let that person
see the others out there more worthy, so they are only cheating themselves.
just move one to the next and go from there.
why fret over something to trivial, IMO.. 
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| Aug 12, 2006 @ 7:28 PM |
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mailorderannie
Posts: 6,021
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I think this is a by-product of internet dating. The services provide an "ideal match" section and we treat it like a shopping list. And notice...it says ideal doesn't say its a list carved in stone. We look at the list and think we can pick and chose all those things we really like about a person and create the perfect mate....one from column A, two from column B and soon you have Mr/Ms Ideal Mate. Doesn't happen. I think we need to take profiles and preferences as a guideline, but if you don't meet someone's criteria exactly, don't take it as a personal rejection. You have two choices...either move on or send an email anyway and see what develops.
Now...be honest. How many times have you met someone in a real life situation and walked away saying "oh gosh, he seems nice but I just can't stand the fact that he has brown eyes instead of blue." ?
Bottom line...you see a profile that interests you...send a dang email and put the ball in their court....but don't take it as a personal rejection if they don't respond.
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| Aug 12, 2006 @ 7:34 PM |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 18,602
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Bottom line...you see a profile that interests you...send a dang email and put the ball in their court....but don't take it as a personal rejection if they don't respond.
Good advice...I think I'm gonna do just that!  (nothing to do with this thread)
p.s. just curious RealMee...how do you feel about women who are a couple of inches taller than you are? Both my goddaughters are 6 footers...
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