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| Aug 31, 2006 @ 1:15 AM |
Would you sign on for celebacy?
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dark_moon
Posts: 158
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Here's the scenerio - You date someone for a while and then comes the point they want to go to the next level and be exclusive. And they make it clear that they want a serious LTR, because they are starting to have feelings for you (and maybe you are starting to have feelings too). But, you recently found out that they have a problem that prevents the possibility of normal sexual activity. Would you enter into this LTR knowing that you are signing up for almost or complete celebacy?
This conversation came up with a guy I am now dating (just conversationaly) and he was saying if you refused, that would be really shallow and self centered. I said, "Wait a damn minute...have you ever even been in that position?" Cause it's real easy to talk the big talk when you haven't walked a mile in the shoes! He said he hadn't and then shut up and listened.
Cause I have been there. Over a year ago. I had been seeing this man for a couple of months. Because of a severe racing accident/injury he had ED. Could not take Viagra etc because of other medical conditions. A surgery to try and correct the damage had been tried with no succes. He could not get an erection period and there was no fixing the problem. He was completely incapable of having intercourse. There was just no way I could enter into a relationship under those circumstances. (To make matters worse, he started talking about getting around the problem by having a threesome  )
It would be totaly unfair for me to even try to have a LTR with a man who is incapable of intercourse. I couldn't take it. And eventualy I would either cheat or get mean or both....or start drinking allot or something. I know I couldn't take it. Probly not for even 3 months tops.
So am I the lone ranger here or what?
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| Aug 31, 2006 @ 1:23 AM |
Would you sign on for celebacy? |
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SunBabe
Posts: 12,279
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Good grief, there are DOZENS of ways to have a completely satisfying love life without 'traditional' penis/vagina intercourse! I can't believe the guy who had the accident wasn't referred to one of those 'sexual counselling' seminars by his doctors -- that's precisely what they're there for (and there are numerous websites and books devoted to that particular 'issue' -- honest...things that don't include "surrogates"/threesomes  )
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| Aug 31, 2006 @ 3:31 AM |
Would you sign on for celebacy?
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chinabull2000
Posts: 7,012
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Yep, what Sunny said is right, there are so many ways to enjoy sex without traditional intercourse. And I'll tell you one thing, if I ever meet the right woman for me and she is unfortunately unable to have penetrative intercourse, then I damn sure am not gonna leave her because of it!!
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| Aug 31, 2006 @ 3:35 AM |
Would you sign on for celebacy? |
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robodad
Posts: 7,823
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Sign on for celibacy? I think somebody signed for me 
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| Aug 31, 2006 @ 4:57 AM |
Would you sign on for celebacy?
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lacyvsq
Posts: 6,161
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I do not think that one who truly loves you would ask you to sign on for it. Be a friend but look for someone with whom you can consummate. Nor do I think that loving someone means you cannot love another. Love the one as a platonic friend, find another for love and sex.
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| Aug 31, 2006 @ 5:04 AM |
Would you sign on for celebacy? |
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,955
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If I loved that person and if being celibate meant being with them.....yes. I would.
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| Aug 31, 2006 @ 7:58 AM |
Would you sign on for celebacy?
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sweet_n_small1
Posts: 753
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I completely agree with SunBabe...LOTS of ways it can be done...just work around the problem.... 
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| Aug 31, 2006 @ 8:42 AM |
Would you sign on for celebacy? |
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UnconventionalCreativity
Posts: 664
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There's a solution for every problem.
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| Aug 31, 2006 @ 8:47 AM |
Would you sign on for celebacy?
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MotownManiax
Posts: 9,737
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 Celibacy????....I'd rather cut off my right hand (or whatever may be attached to it) 
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| Aug 31, 2006 @ 9:31 AM |
Would you sign on for celebacy? |
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sassy5d
Posts: 7
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Whelp.. Put a little twist into things...
Hypothetical question (although it's a reality for many people)
What if the person you're madly in love with.. Get married, have a family blah blah all that good stuff... and then something happens to them and for whatever reason, they can no longer have intercourse.... Does that mean you'd leave them?
Or the hot babe you married got disfigured in an accident.. Or your house caught on fire and they were burned bad...
Maybe thats the lines your friend was thinking of.. Maybe they are wondering if a relationship is based soley on looks and sexual performance... I mean, are the people who are beautiful on the inside not worthy of long time love because they might not look perfect, or their legs no longer work, or they lost a limb, or perhaps can no longer have sex...
When I was slightly younger (about 5-6 years ago).. I was with a man who treated me like a queen.. The chemistry was there.. the attraction was there.. He was stable ect ect.. all the good qualities alot of people would want... And I came to a point in my life where I had to make a decision.. And I don't regret many things in my life.. but I do regret moving on from that relationship because they are hard to come by... Do you want to know why I moved on and broke it off? His penis was the size on my thumb! he could do other things great.. and every other aspect of this man were wonderful.. But I couldn't get passed the thought in my head of can I really be with someone for the rest of my life who, when we had sex.. I couldn't even tell? Of course I never mentioned that to him... After being with loser after loser after loser.. I realized when I was with that man my prioritys were off.. and I WAS being self centered and shallow...
But to answer your question.... Could I? It depends on the situation honestly.. but I do know they make penis implants that have pumps that are inserted into the testicle sac that you can inflate and deflate (They use them for men who've had prostate cancer and suffered damage and can no longer get erections)
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| Aug 31, 2006 @ 9:59 AM |
Would you sign on for celebacy?
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MotownManiax
Posts: 9,737
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Sassy, that's the best perspective I've read so far. Some people have their priorities backward. You marry first for love and companionship, then sex---not the other way around.
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| Aug 31, 2006 @ 10:03 AM |
Would you sign on for celebacy? |
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Pete73052
Posts: 19,370
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Sometimes getting married DOES mean you can never have intercourse again... just sayin' 
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| Aug 31, 2006 @ 10:15 AM |
Would you sign on for celebacy?
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definitelydi
Posts: 12,602
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Honestly, I can't say that I would. It would be one thing to already be in a relationship and then have the ability for intercourse to cease. It's completely another to start a relationship that way.
Yes, there are "other" ways to have sex but I know what I like and I know what I am willing to compromise or not!
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| Aug 31, 2006 @ 12:04 PM |
Would you sign on for celebacy? |
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crackerchickie
Posts: 448
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Celibacy????....I'd rather cut off my right hand (or whatever may be attached to it)
No better anticipatory reason to become ambidextrous!
I do (or used to do, when I was a functioning human being) counselling/ treatment options/ setting up physiotherapy for spinal cord injured patients. Alot of angst was about the sexual functioning issue. Would you stay married to someone you loved because they could not have sex? Oral sex is out for the male to recieve because of the usual neurogenic bladder and condom cath use. I don't know if I would. If there was a long term relationship with children, and a bond, I definitely would. If we were dating, and in love, I think I could reevaulate whether I wanted that change in lifestyle. Remember, it's not just the sex thats gone, it's the whole new role of caregiver. Deep stuff to think about...
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| Aug 31, 2006 @ 5:33 PM |
Would you sign on for celebacy?
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wiccked
Posts: 12,300
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I AM THE QUEEN OF CELIBACY!!!!!!hear me roar!!!!!coming up on my 2 year anniversary-  september 5th- I EXPECT to get a lot of sympathy messages from you guys!!!!!!!!! 
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| Aug 31, 2006 @ 5:45 PM |
Would you sign on for celebacy? |
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NeverB4Alone
Posts: 9,041
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POOR BABY
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| Aug 31, 2006 @ 5:46 PM |
Would you sign on for celebacy?
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wiccked
Posts: 12,300
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well, thank you, neverb4, for the very first sympathy message- you dont know how much it means to me..
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| Aug 31, 2006 @ 5:48 PM |
Would you sign on for celebacy? |
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NeverB4Alone
Posts: 9,041
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Hey Wiccked ....You're welcome ...... Know the feeling ..... Been there, Done that .... You know ????
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| Aug 31, 2006 @ 5:50 PM |
Would you sign on for celebacy?
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wiccked
Posts: 12,300
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feeling??? there is supposed to be feeling??? oops  
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| Aug 31, 2006 @ 5:54 PM |
Would you sign on for celebacy? |
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NeverB4Alone
Posts: 9,041
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Hmmmmmmmmmmm .....Sounded good at the time .... ...... 
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