| Oct 25, 2006 @ 11:23 AM |
Why many guys forgoe the slow art of slow seduction
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Thor1960303
Posts: 3,345
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Been discussing another thread on another forum started by a woman who was complaining about guys who "just want sex" and seem to have no skill in the art of slow seduction.Let me say here that I like the art of slow seduction,just as much as a woman,it's fun,it's a great buildup to the main event.I'm with you ladies,not against you there.
Most guys over 30 are well aware of the differences between the male and female libidos and are well acquainted with this fine art.It's just that too many times we have been burned after spending three or more months with the wining and dining or whatever,only to get the dreaded "let's just be friends speech".The translation here usually meant that we were dumped by (in my case anyway, a few years back) a hanger on ex boyfriend that had more money or a player who could push a few more of the woman's buttons and will probably dump her after he's added another notch on his bedpost.
Yes, it's easy to say I'm better off because I didn't get further involved with this flakoid,but I find, as I get older, I get more pissed off about wasted time more than anything else.A minor financial setback is something I can make up but lost time is something I'll never get back.Those were three months I could've been working making more money,spending time with my kids,other family or friends or time I could've just spent on ME.
So ladies, the next time a guy seems to be rushing you into sex, think of this scenario.
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| Oct 25, 2006 @ 9:53 PM |
Why many guys forgoe the slow art of slow seduction |
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sciurusniger
Posts: 2,958
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Hmmmm...even if she HAD gone to bed with you, that's no guarantee she'd not have later left you for her ex. Such things happen all the time. And then you'd have had a larger investment...and not the kind as easily recouped as mere money, either.
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| Oct 25, 2006 @ 11:34 PM |
Why many guys forgoe the slow art of slow seduction
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sjpinatl
Posts: 671
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If you don't enjoy going out with a woman and fitting the bill and have a good time with her then don't do it. It is not supposed to be a chore. If you do some "wooing" and enjoy it then it seems it would be worth it while it lasted. Maybe the woman sense you are just putting in the time and investment and not really enjoying yourself and that is why they leave?
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| Oct 26, 2006 @ 2:17 AM |
Why many guys forgoe the slow art of slow seduction |
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countryboy69995
Posts: 653
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Completely turn that around. Yep ya never know. I got laid years ago by telling a woman that I need to wait at least 30 days before showing or giving affection. Ya know what I got it that night.  Sometimes when you give back what she is giving you works wonders. 
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| Oct 26, 2006 @ 2:38 AM |
Why many guys forgoe the slow art of slow seduction
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SensualGemini
Posts: 6,918
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...Damn, lesbians are players too! Thinking... I got a question that may seem silly, but how do lesbians decide who pays the bill?
...Now, there is one I never thought about before... maybe it is on a need to know basis. 
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| Oct 26, 2006 @ 2:44 AM |
Why many guys forgoe the slow art of slow seduction |
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,955
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blah.... the one who is the "man" in the relationship pays. 
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| Oct 26, 2006 @ 3:01 AM |
Why many guys forgoe the slow art of slow seduction
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SensualGemini
Posts: 6,918
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blah.... the one who is the "man" in the relationship pays. ... Well geez, that helped a lot! ... 
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| Oct 26, 2006 @ 3:03 AM |
Why many guys forgoe the slow art of slow seduction |
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,955
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 Well that's what Jeanine and I did.
I never had to pay 
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| Oct 26, 2006 @ 3:12 AM |
Why many guys forgoe the slow art of slow seduction
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momma24
Posts: 410
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My last partner and I worked financial things out this way. She paid her way and I paid mine. If I wanted to take her out, then I would obivously pay, and vice versa. Otherwise, we split things down the middle. It worked. Interesting how that question came up and not...how do gay males work this same issue...who is paying in that situation? It is this simple. Whoever wants to. All relationships are different.
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| Oct 26, 2006 @ 4:28 AM |
Why many guys forgoe the slow art of slow seduction |
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SensualGemini
Posts: 6,918
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how do gay males work this same issue...who is paying in that situation? It is this simple. ...I have to admit, I have/had no idea! ... seems silly, but I had never thought of it before. I saw the thread heading and "guys" just did not click with the OP's preference. And then LGQ put some of it into perspective...
...No matter; I have enough trouble with figuring out a heterosexual relationship. 
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| Oct 26, 2006 @ 9:52 AM |
Why many guys forgoe the slow art of slow seduction
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chinabull2000
Posts: 7,012
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Sometimes it's tough to work out how long to take with the "seduction", the emotional foreply, whatever you want to call it. As I get older I find myself less absorbed in the whole seduction thing, although of course I still know its necessary, but I don't really have the patience to spend 3 months on the "chase" with no abosulte knowledge about what happens once the chase is over. I mean, what happens if we aren't sexually compatible (that's not terribly unlikely when you consider some of my preferences  ), or that we argue every time we get into a discussion about kids, or politics, or sports. I just don't feel like wasting so much time (which would otherwise be spent with my daughter) on a long chase.
I dunno, its difficult, seduction is fun and necessary, but come on, can we please speed things up just a little!
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| Oct 26, 2006 @ 10:30 AM |
Why many guys forgoe the slow art of slow seduction |
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Thor1960303
Posts: 3,345
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Hmmmm...even if she HAD gone to bed with you, that's no guarantee she'd not have later left you for her ex
True,life has no guarantees,but at least I would not be left wondering.
Maybe the woman sense you are just putting in the time and investment and not really enjoying yourself and that is why they leave?
I thought about that,but from what I saw,for the most part we had fun.It was one of those things that started out great,then went to nothing really fast.She wouldn't talk about it and later I found out why.She had an ex that she had not completely let go of.He had money.Turned out there was a reason he was an ex(no personality a$$hole),and she was interested in me again.By that time,though,I had found someone else and it was a moot point.
I got laid years ago by telling a woman that I need to wait at least 30 days before showing or giving affection. Ya know what I got it that nigh I had a similar situation many years ago.I went out with a girl that told me she wanted to take things slow and wasn't into being "touchy feely" that night.She changed her mind after about an hour.Never forget that it's a woman's perogative to change her mind. 
I got a question that may seem silly, but how do lesbians decide who pays the bill? There was a big case in Tampa,Florida some years ago.A lesbian couple opted to have a child by artificial insemenation.A few years later they split up and there was a major custody fight.The one who gave birth won custody,yet her ex partner who had been the caregiver argued that she had given up her education and career to raise the child while the "birth mother" worked.Don't remember what the outcome was.
I dunno, its difficult, seduction is fun and necessary, but come on, can we please speed things up just a little!
You said it,bro  ,in today's world with all that's going on we're supposed to have TIME for such?
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| Oct 30, 2006 @ 5:11 PM |
Why many guys forgoe the slow art of slow seduction
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Desserts
Posts: 335
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Wow, an interesting subject. Hint, no passion of any kind after a month tops move on. Opinion, both sexes are responsable for taking the romance & seduction to a low. Money, honey were dutch if you can afford it, unless I feel like treating. I consider myself to be a true gentleman, but; there are to many banana heads to deal with that will go to diner just to go to diner. Just as there are guys that will take you to diner expecting sex, so I am told. 
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| Oct 31, 2006 @ 9:51 AM |
Why many guys forgoe the slow art of slow seduction |
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Thor1960303
Posts: 3,345
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Opinion, both sexes are responsable for taking the romance & seduction to a low.
Very good pont.I agree wholeheartedly.Yet society has always put the seduction onus on the man.I always liked a woman who was a little agressive.
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| Oct 31, 2006 @ 12:32 PM |
Why many guys forgoe the slow art of slow seduction
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Desserts
Posts: 335
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The seduction was put on the man, but; the rules have become so mixed up it can be crazy. I recall when womens lib was a really big thing, truth, I've been scolded for holding the door open, told do you think I am not capable of opening a door. Check for diner, waiter places the check near me, waiter told off by date, really told off with anger, how dare he assume she was not paying. Made such a stick I wanted to crawl under the table. So, I don't go by any rules, I just about being myself.
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| Oct 31, 2006 @ 12:55 PM |
Why many guys forgoe the slow art of slow seduction |
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sciurusniger
Posts: 2,958
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Makes me sadly realize that plain old-fashioned good manners can be considered truly seductive nowadays....
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| Oct 31, 2006 @ 1:52 PM |
Why many guys forgoe the slow art of slow seduction
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doncasto
Posts: 270
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Most guys over 30 are well aware of the differences between the male and female libidos and are well acquainted with this fine art.
I seem to recall that in a previous lifetime . . . when I was close to being just "over 30" . . . . I may have actually considered "seduction" to be "fine art." It is probably no coincidence that I was still working in the "bar business" in that lifetime . . .
In the several decades since I have gravitated away from that perspective. I can actually recall the exact moment this began to change. . . .
In the mid-90's I had asked an attractive, outgoing redhead to dinner after talking with her every day at the health club we both belonged to. We both had been introduced (set up?) by a mutual friend . . .who I now think had gleefully sadistic motives. The setup-er had full knowledge of my several life long weaknesses . . .and used them against me.
The dinner went well and we both found we enjoyed each in spite of our being away from the Spandex (hers) and poolside deck chairs of the club. As we ordered our second bottle of wine I felt her hand on my upper thigh. She looked into my eyes (having already shut me up with the "hand on thigh" move), smiled and said . . ."So Don, can I seduce you tonight or what? 
I am now more prone to think the whole seduction question is much more of a crap shoot. I believe there are far too many circumstantial, situational and perhaps whimsical aspects involved in the "why and how" adults decide to fall into bed with each other these days. I add additional personal complexity/confliction by considering the term "seduction" to carry with it a taint of manipulation . . .
A close self evaluation indicates an increasing cranial density, slower reaction times, occasional inability to recognize subtle "signs" and complete disorientation with all things female. I have to disclose, therefor, that any perception that I engaged in any sort of "slow art of seduction" may be mistaken . . .for my being slow, dense, oblivious and confused. 
YMMV . . .always consider the source . . .be remember to be kind to the situationally confused.
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| Oct 31, 2006 @ 3:34 PM |
Why many guys forgoe the slow art of slow seduction |
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razzired
Posts: 2,922
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Taking notes......
hand on thigh.....two bottles of wine.....c-a-n I s-e-d-u-c-e.....
MJ
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| Nov 1, 2006 @ 3:36 AM |
Why many guys forgoe the slow art of slow seduction
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Always_Striving
Posts: 8,794
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guys who "just want sex"
skill in the art of slow seduction ???? Wa-dat, something from T.V.?
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| Nov 1, 2006 @ 9:33 AM |
Why many guys forgoe the slow art of slow seduction |
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everrett
Posts: 471
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The idea that a "DESERVES" to have her dinner paid for, simply for the joy of me getting to sit with her is insane. Well it is not insane if I was taking an escort out, but that is not my thing.
I have always paid for first dates, and for most things thereafter, but the woman's attitude about it sometimes prevents me from ever asking for a second date. I wont go into all the gorey details, but if a woman comes across as entitled to my generousity, or worse, tries to tell me my responsibilities as a man, she will be left sitting next to the phone asking her friends why I never called.
Some people really do leave me speechless...
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