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| Nov 21, 2006 @ 2:30 AM |
Sex the first time meeting.....
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lilmama02
Posts: 22
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Do you believe that if you have sex the first time you meet them, wheather it be a drunken night or a date, then your whole relationship will only be about sex?
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| Nov 21, 2006 @ 2:43 AM |
Sex the first time meeting..... |
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SunBabe
Posts: 12,279
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It's pretty likely, unless you are also able to hold serious conversations on a dozen other levels and spend lots of time doing OTHER things that you BOTH enjoy, as well.
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| Nov 21, 2006 @ 2:47 AM |
Sex the first time meeting.....
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lilmama02
Posts: 22
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Ya, I just wish it was easy to come out and ask that person, but I doubt they'd tell you the truth anyway. ya, we can talk to each other like we have known each other forever and he says we have this connection. He said he likes it a lot...maybe too much...not sure if thats good or not.
Thanks!
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| Nov 21, 2006 @ 8:54 AM |
Sex the first time meeting..... |
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zulamaze
Posts: 1,266
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It depends on whether you had already established
a relationship before you actually met.
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| Nov 21, 2006 @ 10:25 AM |
Sex the first time meeting.....
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Jackeys
Posts: 151
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To answer your original question, I'm going to say it depends on the two individuals involved and what is that they're looking for at the time. Some people go out on several dates, then have sex and realize that that's all they want from each other or that's all they really have in common is their physical chemistry, so it's really hard to say.
The best way to truly confirm something like that without asking is paying attention to the persons actions. Does this person only call when they want to have sex? Does this person hold meaningful conversations with you about things other than sex? Does this person show any interest in getting to know you? Does this person spend quality time, I reiterate QUALITY TIME with you outside of sex? The quality of the time is important because some guys will spend time with you if they figure it'll keep you happy enough to have sex with them again. Does this person let you into their life and open up and let you get to know things about them? Ask yourself these questions and you'll have the answer to your situation, but everyone is different.
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| Nov 21, 2006 @ 1:50 PM |
Sex the first time meeting..... |
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swingpup
Posts: 4,105
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A drunken night of sex? Now that sound like a great time....Not! 
A "date," if she is married or involved in a relationship then most often it's a sex thing only with light to moderate communications between rendezvous, depending upon her desires. If she is single desiring and requiring only a sexual thing that is of course also an option.
If she is single and available as well as a secure business professional complete with intellect, goals, drives and ambition then it maybe lunches, dinners, social functions trips etc. If the sex coming out of the chute is good, it will most often times become great. If it's excellent to begin with it will often become totally indescribable. If it's mediocre at best the sex may become good.
Sex on the first "date" can indicate many things including personal hygiene and of course sexual abilities as well as the passion quotient. After all if the sexual compatibility is not there, then it's simply not there. 
Sex on the first date is an excellent way of "getting to know" someone. If that passes spec then determining if you desire to invest time in getting to know them better is the next call of business.
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| Nov 21, 2006 @ 2:16 PM |
Sex the first time meeting.....
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DiamondRain
Posts: 6,356
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I had sex on a first date many times. I probably would never do it again for a number of reasons.
But regardless of your moral viewpoint about it, there is no justification for having sex with someone until you know what their STD status is. And there is no protection good enough -- condom or otherwise -- that changes that.
Most people who have sex on their first date do not know if their partner has an STD.
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| Nov 21, 2006 @ 3:07 PM |
Sex the first time meeting..... |
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swingpup
Posts: 4,105
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People after 20 or 120 dates can't be 100% sure that an STD doesn't exist. Per STD's for many the simple question is asked, "Have you been tested and when."
If they look at you like what the hell are you asking......then a decision is to be made.
Remember, you can get to know someone for days, weeks, months or years the threat of an STD shall always be an unlikely possibility if you play with the correct group of individuals.
To eliminate most but not all possibilities of contracting an STD from a potential lover simply obtain from your local collage of medicine a Doctor of Medicine (M.D.) thus personally testing all prospective lovers.
In all honesty, for those that do "tango" often on the first dates a simple monthly or even a bi monthly testing regiment is responsible sexual edict. It's pricey but some say car insurance is also.
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| Nov 21, 2006 @ 4:27 PM |
Sex the first time meeting.....
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Jackeys
Posts: 151
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I have to add, that sometimes if you just get sex out of the way it's a much better way of knowing whether or not you really want to get to know a person and if that person really wants to get to know you. A lot of people hang around and pretend to be interested in you while waiting for you to give in to sex.
Sometimes, if sex has been taken care of and they still want to get to know you, you may have a winner. 
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| Nov 21, 2006 @ 11:33 PM |
Sex the first time meeting..... |
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lilmama02
Posts: 22
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Thanks everyone for your input. I asked myself all those questions. He talks about us having a good connection and we talk sometimes late at night about anything. He did ask me to his family thanksgiving. I'm just more scared if hes a player b/c some people have heard that he is. It was weird b/c he knows i want to get out of mly parents house and he wants us to move out together so he says "we can spend all his free time together". I 'm just confused b/c sometimes he wont call when he says he will or he dont seem to wanna talk much.
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| Nov 24, 2006 @ 2:23 AM |
Sex the first time meeting.....
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painter007
Posts: 17,854
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There will be no sex here on the first dat...Lots of kissing if the chemistry is good, but thats it.
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| Nov 24, 2006 @ 5:01 AM |
Sex the first time meeting..... |
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JesterDrawers
Posts: 11,116
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lilmama - there have been studies conducted that actually show that if sex is introduced into a relationship at too early a point, it can actually be detrimental to the budding relationship and lessen its chances of being a permanent, long-lasting commitment. The longer a couple waits to introduce the physical aspects into their relationship, the higher the chances are of that relationship being a long term one, simply because the two people have taken the time to get to know one another and to find out if they genuinely like being with one another generally. If the answer is yes, then the physical may be introduced. But if you come to find that you really don't like the person, why would you want to give yourself to him in a sexual context. And if you give yourself to him at too early a date, before you really know him, wouldn't you run the risk then of trying to sustain the relationship mainly because the sexual component is good, though the relationship may be lacking in all other ways?
I'm with Painter on this one^^^^^ (hmmm...wish I WAS!) - if the chemistry is good, lots and lots of kissing - mmmmmmmmmmm that is terrific - but absolutely NO chance of sex on the first date. (Been there, done that, found out what a terrible mistake it was, and will NEVER go down that road again!)
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| Nov 24, 2006 @ 5:14 AM |
Sex the first time meeting.....
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painter007
Posts: 17,854
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 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
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| Nov 24, 2006 @ 5:29 AM |
Sex the first time meeting..... |
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JesterDrawers
Posts: 11,116
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| Nov 24, 2006 @ 8:56 AM |
Sex the first time meeting.....
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LovingRomantic
Posts: 321
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First of all I never get drunk...feeling good maybe...but not out of my mind...that is obnoxious,arrogant and not a good way to display yourself in meeting a lady. A date on the other hand...if we hit it off good and both are sexual aroused by each other then let the commmunion began...we will work on the relationship as we go...time will tell...   
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| Nov 24, 2006 @ 2:38 PM |
Sex the first time meeting..... |
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JesterDrawers
Posts: 11,116
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I still say that's putting the horse before the cart....assuming that a relationship (other than one of just a sexual nature) is what you actually want, that is.
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| Nov 25, 2006 @ 12:15 AM |
Sex the first time meeting.....
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ILLLOOK
Posts: 315
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It depends on the people. I think age has a little to do with it. For me dating has really changed from when I was 20.
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| Nov 25, 2006 @ 12:46 AM |
Sex the first time meeting..... |
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Tibert
Posts: 198
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lilmama - there have been studies conducted that actually show that if sex is introduced into a relationship at too early a point, it can actually be detrimental to the budding relationship and lessen its chances of being a permanent, long-lasting commitment. The longer a couple waits to introduce the physical aspects into their relationship, the higher the chances are of that relationship being a long term one, simply because the two people have taken the time to get to know one another and to find out if they genuinely like being with one another generally. If the answer is yes, then the physical may be introduced. But if you come to find that you really don't like the person, why would you want to give yourself to him in a sexual context. And if you give yourself to him at too early a date, before you really know him, wouldn't you run the risk then of trying to sustain the relationship mainly because the sexual component is good, though the relationship may be lacking in all other ways?
Interesting BUT, I had sex with both of my ex wives on the first date and I did married them latter, much latter (I did stay married once 10 years and the other time 12 so they were not short time relationship). I would add that I would not even consider getting married with anyone without having sex first or even having a relationship of more than a month without sleeping with my girl friend.
Sex his an important part of a relationship, if it is not good one might as well move on.
Of course since I am not American I do not have all this morale reservations about sex, as I did post previously sex is a natural function one should have it as often as possible and the first date is as good a time as any if one feel like it.
Since sex is in most couple an important part of the relation what is the point of waiting? If the guy/girls is great and after waiting months and months to have sex, will you stay in a relation if it was really bad and if you do, do you think it will last? I do not. Since it is such important part of a relation why wait?
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| Nov 25, 2006 @ 5:40 AM |
Sex the first time meeting.....
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JesterDrawers
Posts: 11,116
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Why wait? That's simple. I don't want to have sex with anyone just for the sake of having sex. Sex is an important part of a relationship, to be sure, but it's not THE MOST important part of the relationship. If I have sex with someone, it's because I've gotten to know her and feel that there's a good chance that we're going to have a future together. Once we both start thinking in those terms, THEN we can explore the physical aspects of the relationship.
But to have sex first....and THEN spend time trying to figure out if you really like, respect, love this person, if you have enough in common to want to take a shot at a LTR...seems ludicrous. As I said earlier, it seems as though you're putting the cart before the horse.
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| Nov 25, 2006 @ 10:41 PM |
Sex the first time meeting..... |
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Tibert
Posts: 198
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Why wait? That's simple. I don't want to have sex with anyone just for the sake of having sex. Sex is an important part of a relationship, to be sure, but it's not THE MOST important part of the relationship. If I have sex with someone, it's because I've gotten to know her and feel that there's a good chance that we're going to have a future together. Once we both start thinking in those terms, THEN we can explore the physical aspects of the relationship.
You make it sound like you are making some sort of intellectual study of a very dry subject. I for once do not intellectually study the subject, I am all for experimental science. I do not have sex because it is the right time, I just have to feel like it. I do not decide to enter into a relationship, I just do it with out much thinking about the consequence. Of course I have been wrong more than I care to remember but while the relation last I did find a piece of happiness for which I am thankful.
Every time is like a new beginning with obstacle to circumvent, since no one can tell me with certainty who will be the right one I have to try them all as if they were going to be the one.
As for sex not being the most important part of a relationship, speak for yourself. Nothing sours a good relation like bad sex or lack of sex. Sex is after money the most often given reason for divorce.
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