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| Nov 30, 2006 @ 11:05 AM |
Tell me why I shouldn't cancel my Matchdr account.
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SHORTNSWEET162
Posts: 35
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I'm not on here that much, but I statred this because I don't hang out looking for men, and thought it would be a way to have adult conversations while still doing the right thing by my little girl. I've met a couple of guys from here, and it has been one disaster after another...one of them even had Tourette's Syndrome, and failed to mention this in his profile. Not that I blame him for not being upfront with that; the poor guy would have never gotten an email! The last one takes the cake though. Without being too personal, let's just say I got hurt pretty badly. Do you think this site is better or worse than waiting to meet someone at the library? I'm not being a whiner, just wondering if all of you are either afraid of commitment or have some other kind of disorder...
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| Nov 30, 2006 @ 11:21 AM |
Tell me why I shouldn't cancel my Matchdr account. |
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TRS1958
Posts: 481
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No disorders here...just haven't found anyone compatable within a decent distance. Dating sites can be quite frustrating to say the least. I think if one comes to a dating site expecting to find someone right off the bat they are going to be disappointed. I'm sure it has happened before but it would be a slim minority of the people...and lucky ones at that. If I were you I would do both. Try the library AND the sites on here. Can't hurt and might just double your chances 
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| Nov 30, 2006 @ 11:24 AM |
Tell me why I shouldn't cancel my Matchdr account.
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Spider374
Posts: 123
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I think you have to be just as guarded meeting people online as you do meeting them in real life. In fact, you probably have to be more guarded because it's a lot easier for people to lie and deceive others when they're not looking them in the face. The internet just broadens your ability to meet people you normally wouldn't...the problem is that you end up getting a lot of what you're NOT fishing for when you cast a wider net. You have to weed all the junk out along the way.
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| Nov 30, 2006 @ 11:27 AM |
Tell me why I shouldn't cancel my Matchdr account. |
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EyesofBlue72660
Posts: 13,047
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Short, whatever you do is your decision....if you feel this or any other site is not bringing forward the results you desired, you are the only one that can make that determination.
Personally, I see no difference between meeting someone from this site or meeting someone at the library....one still has to get to know someone to decide whether they are compatible. This takes time!!!!!!
Unfortunately, some people think a dating site is like a catalog and the "product" comes with a guarantee.
Everyone on here has different reasons for being here...are there ones that have a fear of committment? Are there ones that have a disorder? Yes, however, I believe you'll find those same type of people at the library/grocery/church/PTA meetings, etc.
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| Nov 30, 2006 @ 11:34 AM |
Tell me why I shouldn't cancel my Matchdr account.
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razzired
Posts: 2,922
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You absolutely should cancel your account if you're expecting to find Mr. Right here and only here.
Online dating is just another avenue to meet people. It can be successful if you look at it that way and adjust your expectations accordingly.
MJ
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| Nov 30, 2006 @ 11:39 AM |
Tell me why I shouldn't cancel my Matchdr account. |
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julia143
Posts: 1,696
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I think you expect to much from the cyberspace world.
This world is filled with illusions and typed words that are carefully thought out.
In real life people react differently, we don't have 5 minutes between answers to think what we are going to say.
Most folks are on here becuase they have trouble finding someone in real life. Because their social skills are a bit lacking. Some find it an easy and cheap way to pick up a woman for a quickie....much easier and cheaper than a bar.
Be selective, wait for the man that shows you interest. Email a while, talk on the phone....wait until you are sure and comfortable.
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| Nov 30, 2006 @ 12:39 PM |
Tell me why I shouldn't cancel my Matchdr account.
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chinabull2000
Posts: 7,012
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Short, you are simply meeting the wrong type of guy, just the same way you can meet the wrong type of guy at the library. cancel your accoutn here or not, you still run the same risks.
But the Tourette's guy really should have told you before meeting you, even though I understand why he didn't.
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| Nov 30, 2006 @ 6:37 PM |
Tell me why I shouldn't cancel my Matchdr account. |
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MotownManiax
Posts: 9,737
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Apologies beforehand if this sounds like I'm beating you up....
You've met two guys and ready to throw in the towel? Mr Wonderful hasn't knocked on your door and swept you off your feet even though, by your own admission, you're "not on here that much"?
I guess it's your decision to give up Internet dating altogether, but do you really think you're going to find a better match at the local bar, bowling alley, grocery store, bookstore? We've all been burned; nothing's guaranteed, especially with dating. But for choices, you can't really beat the Internet. It's no magic bullet or perfect panacea for your relationship ills, however. We all have to put effort into finding someone. How many searches have you done based on the criteria you're looking for? How many times have you initiated contact? How many serious questions have you asked potential partners, and recognized insincere answers? How much importance do you place on finding a good relationship? How proactive are you with this?
Sorry, but it never ceases to amaze me how people can be so disillusioned before really giving this a fair shot. If, after you've really done some quality searches and met a few dozen men, you still feel this is a waste of time I'll be more sympathetic.
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| Nov 30, 2006 @ 7:54 PM |
Tell me why I shouldn't cancel my Matchdr account.
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Loreli
Posts: 25,408
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You have been given lots of good advice, but the main thing is, if you feel you shoul cancel, then you should.
Life in public may seem easier to weed through the possible dates or mates. But in the long run, spending some quality time with someone here, or without a dating site won't be a whole lot different.
Good luck whatever you decide.
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| Nov 30, 2006 @ 9:10 PM |
Tell me why I shouldn't cancel my Matchdr account. |
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SunBabe
Posts: 12,279
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I'm not being a whiner, just wondering if all of you are either afraid of commitment or have some other kind of disorder...
I think that "afraid of commitment" and "some other kind of disorder" are pretty narrow conclusions. I'm having a hard time trying to figure out which one of those two I fall into. Hmmm, probably "some other kind of disorder" -- if "being a realist" is a "disorder".
IF "it would be a way to have adult conversations" is all you're looking for, you can find that ANYWHERE, sometimes even HERE ~grin~ But then you'd fall into that "disorder" catagory: "realist"
...I think that what you may need to do is assess what it is that you're REALLY looking for. Searching for "adult conversation", friends who happen to be men, "activity buddy", etc is a whole lot different than looking for someone you want to have a future relationship with -- and pretty impossible to decide upon by two individual meetings.
The more people you meet, whether from online or 'real life', gives you more chances of WANTING to meet someone again -- wherever the path may lead.
Good luck wherever/however you continue 
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| Nov 30, 2006 @ 9:56 PM |
Tell me why I shouldn't cancel my Matchdr account.
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ToucherinSparks
Posts: 6,699
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Matchdoctor, and indeed all these dating sites, are just a tool not an end in themselves. You may meet someone here or you may not, but that's true of the library, a bar, a coffee shop or anywhere else you might meet some one. The big advantage MD has over other sites is that it's free, so you can stay here and enjoy the forums and BSing with people on the other side of the country even if there is no one in your area. Other sites want to suck your wallet dry for the same pleasure.
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| Dec 4, 2006 @ 7:43 AM |
Tell me why I shouldn't cancel my Matchdr account. |
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magicmunchkin65
Posts: 62
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I believe it all depends on what you are looking for, and I agree that you run the same risks here as in public. Either place it will take time to get to know someone. I, myself am looking for a future with someone, but am happy to enjoy the company of all the good people here and take my time to "look". If and when I am in a long term relationship with someone, I think I will always post here because I enjoy the people here and have learned a lot from what thet have to say. Here's to makeing friends and finding lovers.  . My advice, participate more, enjoy meeting new people and makeing new friends, and perhaps down the roead you will meet that perfect someone. I wish you luck in whatever you decide.
The Munchkin
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| Dec 4, 2006 @ 9:54 AM |
Tell me why I shouldn't cancel my Matchdr account.
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observed50
Posts: 407
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Short - take a step back and look at it this way.
At a library...in an hour...how many people are you going to meet? How often do you ACTUALLY meet people at a library? At a bar? Bars good places to meet the people you want to meet? In an hour...you smell smoky, your ass was grabbed by someone a couple of times, and you can't hear because the music playing over the TVs was so loud.
In an hour on the web, you can peruse 10, 20, 30 or more profiles, looking for people you think would be interesting to meet, and in the safest manner history has provided to date, make a gesture in their direction to make contact, to be known, and be made visible as interested. How many men in your life have you tried to signal some sort of interest to who have missed completely the intent, content and urgency of your message?
So yeah, you might have had a couple of tries that didn't work. But how many people have you been able to sort through to see if you can find what you're looking for? Isn't that more a valid measure of what one does on web dating sites...simply increased, more efficient and effective sorting?
The web is simply life condensed. Rather than measure it by how quick success, measure it by how quick you can make decisions about what to do...
And where else can you have long rambling discussions about every detail of coupled life without a sense that somehow when you mention your love of oral sex, someone is interpreting it as a pick-up line and wants to bed you right there in the bar?
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| Dec 4, 2006 @ 11:03 AM |
Tell me why I shouldn't cancel my Matchdr account. |
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encorrgbl
Posts: 1,390
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I totally agree with most the posters. This is a tool, not a complete solution. If you can find someone here, wonderful! If not, then not.
Go to the library, go to the bar, go out and live life, have friendships, get to know people, up your people skills, and read the emails and the posts, and communicate. (As I still remember China saying from a different thread, "Ask telling questions...")
There are people out here for a 'lot' of different reasons, some can't communicate and some are out for living a lie, but then there are others, ones who are real, and tell the truth, and are up front, and looking for their 'one'.
You could also cancel and come back, but again, you could also go search the other sites too (and remember to be cautious and talk to the person and screen them if needed before meeting or such), and let this one sleep for a bit.
Keep it as another opportunity, but don't get rid of it with the idea that everyone out on these sites is out to dupe you. Keep your eyes open and move forward.
And PS - I think that the majority of the people posting a response on this thread are actually some of the best advice givers around that I've read so far on these boards. (Yes, kudos to you people!  ) That's my two cents, and I don't want change back!
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| Dec 4, 2006 @ 5:33 PM |
Tell me why I shouldn't cancel my Matchdr account.
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Aries361
Posts: 273
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Try puting in a man's profile and see how many e-mails you get. It is much easier for women to meet men on these sites than men to meet women. I have been using this site just to chat in the forums, so I can be completely honest here. Internet dating is good for women - bad for men.
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| Dec 4, 2006 @ 7:09 PM |
Tell me why I shouldn't cancel my Matchdr account. |
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LovingRomantic
Posts: 321
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I am a.. newbe.. here myself and this is one of two free sites that I use...I use to pay for some of the other sites but that got old after awhile...where else can you get involved in forums and write your own blogs (which I have not done yet but will
soon-to busy right now), then get rated for them! (for what thats worth)...Ha.Ha...I don`t know about you but I am a busy person...I get out on saturday nights and thats about it for now (I`m working on something that will change that soon)...Where else can you meet people from around the world....with all different personalities and traverse back and forth with them and have a good time. Of cause you don`t want to spend to much time...we do have other lives to live..now don`t we...Sorry you are having a bad time with a few bad apples....don`t let that discourage you though...just remember there is plenty of fish in the sea...just got
weed out the bad one...Good Luck on whatever decision you make...be happy
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| Dec 5, 2006 @ 1:14 AM |
Tell me why I shouldn't cancel my Matchdr account.
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steveemac
Posts: 2,335
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Unless you've at least exchanged emails with me, me, me, you haven't had the full experience-so why leave early? 
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| Dec 5, 2006 @ 6:59 AM |
Tell me why I shouldn't cancel my Matchdr account. |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 18,611
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And heck, what's bad about being able to get all this good advice, without even paying a penny for it???? 
Seriously though, if you think of this as random meetings (which they really are) and the ones that even progress to a first date are STILL just blind dates (which they really are), then figure that only about ten percent of blind dates lead to second dates, which even then don't usually develop into a longterm relationship, the odds are against finding someone compatible, let alone 'the one' in anything under a year or so. And these are just averages - you might be one of the lucky ones and grab the brass ring quickly, or it may never happen. Luck always plays a part in this - the right people, the right place and most importantly, the right time. Does that mean you should cancel yuor account, or stop looking in real life (cuz the odds are even worse there)? I'd say stop 'looking', relax and enjoy the ride. Stay aware, but not focussed, if you know what I mean? If you focus too hard on what you're looking for, you can miss a lot of joy in what you have...friends, family, career are all vital parts of your life...a significant other can make that better yet, but should never be your entire focus - no relationship can survive that kind of stress!
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| Dec 5, 2006 @ 10:14 AM |
Tell me why I shouldn't cancel my Matchdr account.
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encorrgbl
Posts: 1,390
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a significant other can make that better yet, but should never be your entire focus - no relationship can survive that kind of stress!
I definitely agree with that.
One of my friends had told me that it's all a numbers game. Sooner or later you'll find someone that likes you, and out of that pool, you'll find someone that 'really' likes you. Now, you 'could' narrow your search down and look for something very specific and pursue that, but you need to be realistic about it, a lot like looking for a job. (I hate to put it that way per se, but I'm saying it in regards to a portion of the relationship perspective, and not the whole thing.)
You don't look for a job in only the classifides. If you do, you're only seeing a small part of the picture. You search the job boards, check online, and look in other places, ask friends, etc. But you don't also toss the classifides away, you keep that as another avenue for your search.
This gives you more opportunities to find what you're looking for. Now granted, if the only thing you found on one job board was for jobs you never ever wanna take, then don't check that board...
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| Dec 5, 2006 @ 2:56 PM |
Tell me why I shouldn't cancel my Matchdr account. |
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Lee_Danger
Posts: 4,517
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I have nothing but bad luck with the dates I had from online. However, I stay because I found a community of friends here who keep me company, make me laugh, share good & bad times with me and offer great advice when needed.
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