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| Dec 19, 2006 @ 8:58 AM |
How many dates before sex??? |
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icequeen241

Posts: 26
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I am sure this has been posted a million times, but here goes. I just started dating again after 9 years (with a very sexually boring husband) I met a very nice man on another site. We have had 2 dates and an enormous amount of time talking online and on the phone. We are actually getting together at his place Thursday to play cribbage. (we have a bet going as to who is the better player) I would love to take him for a "test drive" , but I don't want to scare him off. I'm pretty sure he is of the same mind because our conversations of late have had a sexual undertone to them. Should I wait until after the holidays when I see him again or take the chance of being too pushy?
Any thoughts?
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| Dec 19, 2006 @ 9:50 AM |
How many dates before sex??? |
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steveemac

Posts: 2,335
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Just do what feels right-but (speaking from some experience) if in doubt, err on the side of caution; i.e, don't go for it unless it feels completely right-mainly, you should have NO regrets afterwards, no matter what happens.
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| Dec 19, 2006 @ 11:02 AM |
How many dates before sex??? |
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Loreli

Posts: 25,398
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Everyone's different. You should just know when it's right..
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| Dec 19, 2006 @ 11:07 AM |
How many dates before sex??? |
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julia143

Posts: 1,696
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Personally, I like to draw things out a bit.
One it shows me if he is interested enough to stick around.
Two it makes for great sex when it does happen.
Three.....I love to wait....it reveals so much about a mans character.... .....will he jump to conclusions and call me a prude? (cause that is someone I do not want to be with)
....Is he able to control himself, does he respect my wishes....etc
Unless of course all YOU want is sex..? Then again, if it feels right, why not?
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| Dec 19, 2006 @ 11:11 AM |
How many dates before sex??? |
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icequeen241

Posts: 26
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I think my biggest problem is that I have been out of the "game" for soooooo long. It is just weird dating again at 40. But, on the other hand, it's kinda fun. I feel like a kid again.
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| Dec 19, 2006 @ 11:14 AM |
How many dates before sex??? |
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chinabull2000

Posts: 7,012
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It seems like you've spent plenty of time "getting to know" each, online certainly, and a little bit of time in real life, so just do what feels right, especially because it seems to feel right for both of you. Let if just happen though, don't push it, it'll happen naturally... ya know, the goodnight kiss that turns into a snog (or more)..
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| Dec 19, 2006 @ 12:15 PM |
How many dates before sex??? |
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definitelydi

Posts: 12,602
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17
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| Dec 19, 2006 @ 7:12 PM |
How many dates before sex??? |
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ToucherinSparks

Posts: 6,699
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No sex before the 142nd date. And then only in the missionary position under the covers with the lights off and the shades down. No oral sex before the 150th date. A goodnight kiss is alright around the 100th date or so, and for you really horny types, you can hold hands without gloves on about the 20th date.
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| Dec 19, 2006 @ 7:20 PM |
How many dates before sex??? |
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definitelydi

Posts: 12,602
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^^^Where do I sign up?
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| Dec 19, 2006 @ 7:33 PM |
How many dates before sex??? |
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Aries361

Posts: 273
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I just couldn't have sex with someone who I did not know really well. That would take a couple of months. I wouldn't count the actual number of dates. You spend a lot of time talking on the phone and e-mailing, right?
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| Dec 19, 2006 @ 8:18 PM |
How many dates before sex??? |
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icequeen241

Posts: 26
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Just about every night. Just spent about 30min on IM. that was a short night..usually it's a couple of hours...
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| Dec 19, 2006 @ 8:18 PM |
How many dates before sex??? |
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kattsmeow

Posts: 22,625
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| Dec 19, 2006 @ 9:05 PM |
How many dates before sex??? |
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persianbroker

Posts: 6
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I think you should go with your instincts. If it feels right, go for it. If not, hang off for a bit. There's no right answer to the question "How many dates before sex?" because for everyone it's different. Of course, there's always the nice compromise of fooling around without doing the actual deed, lol. Seeing as how you mentioned a "test drive" that would probably fit the bill. That way you can check him out and have a little bit of fun without having to go full out. Cuz if you're nervous about it, and your blog implies that you might be, just a little, it's probably not the right time. When it's right you'll know, and you'll be fully ready without questioning yourself. Just a thought, good luck!!
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| Dec 19, 2006 @ 9:34 PM |
How many dates before sex??? |
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sciurusniger

Posts: 2,958
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I'm thinking that if you have to even ask the question - in a public forum, no less - the answer is to just keep your pants on a bit longer.
YMMV
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| Dec 19, 2006 @ 10:03 PM |
How many dates before sex??? |
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MotownManiax

Posts: 9,737
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How many dates before sex???.... lemme see, 2 and a half ...... no, make that six 
....it's either that or 200, can never seem to get the numbers right.
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| Dec 19, 2006 @ 10:13 PM |
How many dates before sex??? |
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swingpup

Posts: 4,105
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You're an adult so why not go for it and enjoy. If the guy is a dynamite lover you'll not have wasted any time and have fulfilling sex. On the other hand if he's a dud in bed you'll not be locked into a fantasy.
I always like to get the sex thing out of the way early which is to me equally as important as a physical attraction. If the sex is less then enthusiastically satisfying for both then it won't be a long term situation, at least not with sex involved.
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| Dec 19, 2006 @ 10:47 PM |
How many dates before sex??? |
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LipGlossQueen9

Posts: 10,951
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I would want to be dating someone up to a year, maybe a year and a half, before I'd even consider that.
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| Dec 19, 2006 @ 11:04 PM |
How many dates before sex??? |
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ash_is_unforgetable

Posts: 842
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Icequeen this is only something you can answer for yourself, it all just depends on when you feel ready or when the both of you feel ready. Most peoples opion on how many dates before sex will vary as for myself it would take alot of dates, I don't have sex with a guy just for the heck of it, there has to be alot of feelings between him and I.
*AsH
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| Dec 20, 2006 @ 2:05 AM |
How many dates before sex??? |
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SensualGemini

Posts: 6,858
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...Who says that you will be the one initiating the "pushy" part? Here is a clue... after hours and hours of communication, a few dates and if he has an ounce of testosterone, Thursday ain't about cribbage. But, on the off chance it really is, they play that game at the senior citizen's center.
...Yet, if you are indecisive, for whatever reason, don't remove the chastity belt; just as losing virginity, there is no turning back.
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| Dec 20, 2006 @ 9:08 AM |
How many dates before sex??? |
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zulamaze

Posts: 1,266
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It doesn't matter how many dates. You are 40 (adult) and no virgin, do whatever feels right.
Noone can tell you --- oh wait you need to date a few more times before giving up the goodie.
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