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Dec 27, 2006 @ 2:30 PM sex    
happygirl684


Posts: 2
i gave up sex 4 good because i was raped by a 15 year old boy in 1999 and then when i had boyfriends we had sex but then they broke up with me so i figure if i gave up sex 4 good i would be happy and i wouldnt get raped again by guys but it seems like the guys in florida or anywhere in the states all guys want sex , so how do i find a guy who will respect my wishes and give up sex 4 good like me and be happy like i am.
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Dec 27, 2006 @ 2:43 PM sex    
ToucherinSparks


Posts: 6,618
You are 27, I don't think you will find any guy your age who doesn't want sex. The exception to that might be someone with a medical condition that keeps them from being able to have sex. BTW, your "giving up sex for good" won't keep you from being raped, rape is about power and control, not about sex, so any rapist care less what you have given up or not. I think you need to see a therapist and work through your issues with sex.
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Dec 27, 2006 @ 2:49 PM sex    
HiddenIdentity


Posts: 133
Uh, I doubt you're going to find that.

Sex isn't something someone can just throw away. As far as I am considered, there's two sides of all relationships: a) the physical side and, b) the mental side.

It's not likely you'll find a man who's willing to give up either side because, let's face it, it's unfair to him. You're asking him to give up something that's a healthy part of any relationship.

Maybe you're dating the wrong type of guy. You said that you've dated other guys, and have had sex with them. If you weren't comfortable with sex before, why did you jump into having sex with them then?

"The guys in florida?" That seems like a bit of a generalization. Maybe it's your attitude that push men away. Just a thought.
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Dec 28, 2006 @ 9:19 AM sex    
zulamaze


Posts: 1,266
Get counseling. Sex is great with the right person.
You WILL NOT find a guy that is willing to settle for NO sex.
It would be wrong for you to even suggest that to a man.

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Dec 28, 2006 @ 9:27 AM sex    
jamie95622


Posts: 59
i ate something once that made me sick and i almost died,,,i didn't give up eating,,


i don't think there is any sex going on in the land of smurfs,,,,,hell there were like 200 guy smurfs and only one smurfette and she seemed un-molested,,,
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Dec 28, 2006 @ 9:49 AM sex    
razzired


Posts: 2,922


Jamie, your post was thoughtless and crude.

Rape and the mental trauma it leaves cannot be compared with food poisoning, nor with cartoon characters.

Why don't you go back to playing Xbox and let the grownups post here.



MJ
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Dec 28, 2006 @ 9:59 AM sex    
Thor1960303


Posts: 1,657
I'm generally with the rest of the folks here.You need counseling.Whether you ever enjoy sex or not,you have experienced a trauma that has left you so devastated that in your mind,you have cut yourself off from a very important part of life.You need to heal from that and as long as you hold your present,rather unreasonable demand on a relationship,you will never heal and the scumbag that raped you wins.
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Dec 28, 2006 @ 10:04 AM sex    
jamie95622


Posts: 59
Jamie, your post was thoughtless and crude.

your opinion has been duly noted and summarily dismissed as irrelevent

Rape and the mental trauma it leaves cannot be compared with food poisoning

true food poisoning kills,,rape doesn't,,thanks for clearing that up.

[Edited on 12/28/2006 10:10 AM]
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Dec 28, 2006 @ 10:07 AM sex    
Thor1960303


Posts: 1,657
i don't think there is any sex going on in the land of smurfs,,,,,hell there were like 200 guy smurfs and only one smurfette and she seemed un-molested,,,

I used to say the Smurfs were communists.They shared everything in common,including the one female smurf.Papa Smurf always got more as he was the alpha male.
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Dec 28, 2006 @ 10:08 AM sex    
yashaenka


Posts: 3,422
Personally most men will not take a woman of your height and weight seriously as a long term partner, but they will use you. I suggest if you have not gone to a rape clinic for advice from women who have experiences like you I strongly advise you to do so. Then change yourself into what you wish to be, I do not think the issue is only sex, but how you feel about yourself and self worth. Begin by getting on a healthy diet and some form of exercise, even walking. Dieting is simple use a combinating of slighly reducing calories and increasing exercxise planned over a year instead of quick reducing plans. Do anything that makes you feel better about yourself and your value system will improve. If you do not respect yourself, men will not either, it is just that simple.
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Dec 28, 2006 @ 10:17 AM sex    
razzired


Posts: 2,922
true food poisoning kills,,rape doesn't,,thanks for clearing that up.


Yet another example of the failure of our educational system.




MJ
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Dec 28, 2006 @ 10:28 AM sex    
Heaveninawildflower


Posts: 14,383
Just for the record, latest stats show that 1 in 100 adults is asexual, and like everyone else, they have their own sites...you can google for more, this was the first one I found:

http://asexuality.meetup.com/

But that said, you really should look for counselling. It can't hurt, and you may be able to find someone who is better able to understand the asexual personality thru an asexual specialized group.

Good luck!
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Dec 28, 2006 @ 11:02 AM sex    
definitelydi


Posts: 12,602
Personally most men will not take a woman of your height and weight seriously as a long term partner

Has anyone ever told you that you're an ignorant mother phucker? Love has nothing to do with size.

Try being empathetic rather than judgemental.
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Dec 28, 2006 @ 11:21 AM sex    
ash_is_unforgetable


Posts: 837
Sounds like you need to work through your issues with Rape before looking for a guy or a relationship, you are emotionally still holding onto your past and hurt and until you can come to terms with what happened to you then nothing will change.

I was raped and nearly killed as a teenager but I got through it with the support of others, and comeing to terms with it and I even ended up talking about it to students in local schools and I learned that just because something bad happened to me that life does not stop. My experience has just made me a stronger person.

the person I would like to meet:
i like to meet a white guy, 27 to 33 years old,blond hair,blue eyes,lives in beverly hills florida,has a job, has a car,honest,caring,no kids,never married,never been in jail,doesnt cheat,doesnt smoke,doesnt do drugs,doesnt drink,no tattoos,no piercings,clean shaved, 5 '6 to 6'0 foot tall,goodlooking,doesnt care about looks,doesnt care if i live with parents,is romantic,loves theme parks,country music,talking on the phone,board games,likes animals,anything else just ask.

Thats from your profile, might wanna lower your standards a bit, you want perfection which 1. It doesn't exist and 2. You are not perfect yourself, because no one is. But I still think you need to seek counseling or some form of help.

Take Care
*AsH
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Dec 28, 2006 @ 11:25 AM sex    
julia143


Posts: 1,696
Personally most men will not take a woman of your height and weight seriously as a long term partner

???????? WTF

OMG - and I am supposed to take a 61 yr. old a$$ serious?

Anyway, Happy, I really don't think any man with a healthy sex drive in your age range will be able to dismiss his virility so easily. Perhaps if you want an older man that has "problems" that viagra can not fix....

You should get counseling. Be happy with yourself. Understand that what happened was not your fault. Had nothing to do with you personally. There is nothing wrong with you. You are just a hurt woman that needs to heal a bit and talk about it and gain back some confidence.

Go get help! Do not depend on a man to make you whole again. Understand that you can not blame other men for what happened. You must first "fix" yourself.

Best of luck!
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Dec 28, 2006 @ 11:26 AM sex    
jamie95622


Posts: 59
good post ash

goodlooking,doesnt care about looks

hummmmmmmm interesting ,,,,,
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Dec 28, 2006 @ 12:26 PM sex    
Heaveninawildflower


Posts: 14,383
If you do not respect yourself, men will not either, it is just that simple.

If you're talking about rape here, respect really doesn't enter into it in any way, shape or form. And truthfully, the odds are very high (although I'm not a shrnk) that if she has any kind of self-esteem problem, it's caused by the rape, and food is one way of dealing with it, not the reverse. And exercise, even walking, can be very painful when you're carrying around that amount of weight... Catch 22, but if you can get the initial kickstart, it gets easier.

Again though, not all people are sexual by nature, hard as that is to grasp. Happy - hope you'll listen to what most of us have said about counselling. It really sounds as if you need to find out if you're really just part of the 1% who don't care for sex at all, or if it's a result of associating sex and rape - trust us, they're not at all alike.
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Dec 28, 2006 @ 1:28 PM sex    
Thor1960303


Posts: 1,657
Rape is not a crime about sex.It's a crime about power and hurt.Men who commit rape do so not because they're horny but because they want to inflict hurt on their victims,If you seek help and learn to heal and then later decide that a healthy relationship with healthy sex CAN work for you,then this man who committed this cowardly act against you has no more power over you.
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Dec 28, 2006 @ 1:39 PM sex    
ToucherinSparks


Posts: 6,618
Personally most men will not take a woman of your height and weight seriously as a long term partner

This may be the most ignorant thing I've seen posted on MD, and brother, I've seen WORLD CLASS ignorance here.
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Dec 28, 2006 @ 1:52 PM sex    
robodad


Posts: 5,517
Personally most men will not take a woman of your height and weight seriously as a long term partner
Of course noone with common sense will take that phrase seriously
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