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| Feb 14, 2007 @ 6:41 PM |
Timing of Sex
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candylily
Posts: 1,347
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I had a lengthy "discussion" with a guy a few days ago about dating and sex. He thinks that when a guy has talked to a woman for a while and then he meets her once, the next date should include sex because he already knows he likes her and once they meet, there's no longer a question of whether or not he's attracted to her. I told him that regardless of how long I may have talked to a guy, being with him in person is a new experience and it takes me more than one date to feel totally comfortable with him in person and to be ready for sex. He thinks that's a game and I'm being stubborn.
He said that he wants me so much that he can't wait. I told him he doesn't really want me at all or he would allow me time to decide that I'm ready also. Unfortunately, he's not the first man I've had this "discussion" with. I get tired of defending my point of view and feel that I shouldn't even have to defend it.
Sex is best when both people are ready, so why are so many men in such a rush?
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| Feb 14, 2007 @ 6:55 PM |
Timing of Sex |
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KAOS2007
Posts: 8,201
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They can't help themselves, it's in their genes, literally. 
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| Feb 14, 2007 @ 7:25 PM |
Timing of Sex
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nightrider3281
Posts: 752
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good for you candy, do it when you are ready until then he can use his hand
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| Feb 14, 2007 @ 7:48 PM |
Timing of Sex |
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ToucherinSparks
Posts: 6,699
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I think 4:14 is a good time.
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| Feb 14, 2007 @ 7:51 PM |
Timing of Sex
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Laidback742
Posts: 4,676
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I heard somewhere that, when people try to rush sex in a new relationship, they usually base the whole relationship around sex .... just a thought.
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| Feb 14, 2007 @ 8:11 PM |
Timing of Sex |
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ramsfan1970
Posts: 1,041
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lol @ touch!
LB I heard the same thing. But sometimes a couple can get to know each other better through sex, and things start to develop. Sometimes it's a starting point...
I think both partners have to be ready. There will be no "perfect" time though. If someone didn't want to hear that I wasn't ready then I would be moving on. There are others out there who would wait. Just my 2 cents.
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| Feb 14, 2007 @ 8:34 PM |
Timing of Sex
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Laidback742
Posts: 4,676
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Correction ... I should have said "When one person rushes sex" .... sorry.
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| Feb 14, 2007 @ 8:40 PM |
Timing of Sex |
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candylily
Posts: 1,347
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If someone didn't want to hear that I wasn't ready then I would be moving on. There are others out there who would wait. I agree completely and there have been several men that I did not go out with a second time with for that very reason. I'm not really sure how it's that much of a problem for a guy if he thinks about sex on a date. Men go to strip clubs and pay to be teased. I'm pretty sure they can handle being on a normal date without suffering too badly. I just get tired of having that same conversation over and over with different men.
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| Feb 14, 2007 @ 10:47 PM |
Timing of Sex
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mac1221
Posts: 4
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try saying YES - saves discussion - (tongue in cheek)
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| Feb 14, 2007 @ 10:53 PM |
Timing of Sex |
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travelnfrog
Posts: 572
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Chemistry....it all comes down to chemistry. Sometimes it feels right, sometimes not.
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| Feb 14, 2007 @ 10:54 PM |
Timing of Sex
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mac1221
Posts: 4
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I'm going with this lady - she seems to understand whats REALLY going on !
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| Feb 14, 2007 @ 11:00 PM |
Timing of Sex |
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travelnfrog
Posts: 572
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 Mac....
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| Feb 14, 2007 @ 11:22 PM |
Timing of Sex
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emperorguy
Posts: 393
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umm-- any time? 
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| Feb 15, 2007 @ 4:10 AM |
Timing of Sex |
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MusicMonster
Posts: 2,954
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I don't quite get it either.. 
I don't see how there should be any hard and fast rule that applies as a standard to all dating.
Like Froggi said, it's about what feels right to both parties. Whether or not the erotic chemistry is there or not and how strong it is "mutually" (which is very important). That could be on Date #1, in some cases, or Date #6, or perhaps never.  It's just something you work out between you as whatever feels right.. If the lady is not interested, then chances are neither am I, until such time as both are at the same time.
Is it written somewhere that males are supposed to always seek instant sex with everybody in a skirt, merely because they are female? I guess I am reading the wrong articles. heh heh..  But I've never understood that projected mindset.
-MM
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| Feb 15, 2007 @ 4:23 AM |
Timing of Sex
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synfllyswt
Posts: 300
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I think that if you have been talking to someone for a while on the internet or on the phone then you may get to know their personality as much as you can on those fields of communication. When you meet physically for the first time you get to learn they euphamisms and they way the move when they walk. If they like to hold your hand when you sit down to talk. You get to know the way they smile when you say a joke or the way the move thier head when they think of something from the past. Those are all things that make you feel comfortable. Dont get me wrong if both parties are in it for only the sex then maybe that knowledge isn't necessary. But meeting to form a relationship, one has to feel comfortable with the person mentally and physically. Like said about..its all about the chemistry. Who knows, you may even want to jump him when you meet. What is scary to me is really liking someone with out meeting them and then when you meet there isn't any chemistry or he doesn't like me. (ops I got off track.)
Anyways, If he does care for you he will wait. If he doesn't want to wait until you are ready then it wasn't meant to be.
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| Feb 15, 2007 @ 9:31 AM |
Timing of Sex |
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candylily
Posts: 1,347
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I guess it's better that a man warns you that he can't control himself sexually than finding out when you're alone with him.
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| Feb 15, 2007 @ 1:21 PM |
Timing of Sex
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swingpup
Posts: 4,105
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so why are so many men in such a rush?
Possibly for some because they don't have a selection to choose from? For others maybe they feel that if it's not good why waste any more time?
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| Feb 15, 2007 @ 1:43 PM |
Timing of Sex |
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travelnfrog
Posts: 572
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But swingpup, I thought ALL sex was GOOD sex to you guys.....
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| Feb 15, 2007 @ 2:17 PM |
Timing of Sex
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rumblechick
Posts: 26
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You mean it's not???  (He's a cutie Froggi...sounds like fun!)
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| Feb 15, 2007 @ 3:35 PM |
Timing of Sex |
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EnjoyingLife420
Posts: 93
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I feel that before sex enters the picture in any relationship there first has to be a commitment to each other by both people involved.
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