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| Jul 9 @ 9:51 PM |
Sexless dating
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JenRNinOhio
Posts: 4,161
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I could most certainly date without sex.
Take me out for an 8 oz filet & a bottle of 2006 Rosemont Shiraz.
Take me out to play 9 holes.
Let's go dancing.
There's a few movies I'd like to see.
That exhibit at the Cleveland Museum of Art sounds interesting.
I'd love to have a picnic on the lawn at Blossom to listen to The Cleveland Orchestra play Beethoven.
Many things I'd love to do in the company of a man ...
A date.... a 2nd or 3rd date
but oh
The OP talks about a *regular dating partner* ... *An ongoing dating relationship* ...
Yeah, my answer is still ... No, don't wanna participate in a sexless dating relationship
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| Jul 9 @ 10:00 PM |
Sexless dating |
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chubs
Posts: 2,592
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^ I'd love going to that Beethoven concert! 
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| Jul 10 @ 6:06 PM |
Sexless dating
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Say_Yes
Posts: 2,228
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Is it really good self control by both of you, or are you two just not that interested in it?
A bit of both & neither. We got to know each other, slowly over time & developed a very strong friendship. Now, we are both a bit reluctant to press our luck & risk ruining the friendship. Of course, the fact that she has lived in either Greenville SC or Atlanta Ga, for all but three years, has something to do with it as well. I generally only see her about once a month.
I cant believe i just read something like that. Now that is freaking awesome but man are you serious. I do have a question do either of you have sex with other people or is there no sex at all going on?
I'm not sure about her, over the entire time frame, but my guess is that she has not had a serious relationship, since I have met her. I have had a couple of flings, but they were purely physical and did not last more than a few months.
Would I like to have a physical relationship with her? Yes, but only if it is a part of the natural progession of our relationship. For us at least, there won't be sex, unless we both think that there is a permanent monogamous relationship in our future.
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| Jul 22 @ 4:48 AM |
Sexless dating |
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fitguy
Posts: 2
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WHAT BENEFIT IS THERE FOR A GUY TO DATE A WOMAN?
If I want to see a movie I can watch it with my buddies and NOT HAVE TO BUY THEIR TICKET.
If I want to go out to eat I can go with the guys and not have to buy their chow.
Companionship? How many women care about baseball or basketball or the economy or investments? Guys can relate better to guys.
Sex? OK. That and emotional connection are the things we want. But at what price? Have you ever calculated the amount of time and money that is expended to meet someone who is willing to date you more than once? You go out a couple of evenings and finally after spending 3 hours each time (including communte) you finally come home with a phone number. 4 out of 5 phone numbers will not talk to you. . . effort wasted. Meanwhile you also spent money for car gas, drinks, cover charge, whatever. You repeat this process 5 more times and finally get a woman who will talk on the phone. You repeat that entire process 3 more times and finally get someone who will go out with you more than once. Estimated cost?
115 hours (including commute) and $628 (include dinner, entertainment, car gas). Whew! Get the picture. It is not worth it for guys to date: the price, the effort, the money is not worth it!!! Wise up! Stop dating. Get a hooker. You will save lots of money and time! Then go out with the guys who you can relate to more and not have to buy their entertainment and food.
And frankly, virtually all the women I have dated are complete prudes. They just want a free meal and entertainment at my expense. They are not in the least bit physically affectionate.
Dating without physical affection is no better than just talking on the phone. Have her go the a movie where she lives and you go to the same movie where you live. Then talk on the phone about it. Its the same thing as an unaffectionate date, except that you save commute time, save commute expense, and she gets the benefit of not having to be physically affectionate. She might be disappointed that you didn't buy her dinner or movie ticket. If she thinks she is a SUPERIOR human being who is ENTITLED to have men buy this, then send her a check in the mail.
That is about how fun dating is for me. Its about as fun as having a date over the phone. Whoopy!! All the women I meet are not only prudes, they are devoid of any physical affection. And women are VERY appethetic about meeting guys. I am mostly talking about women past the age of forty. The process of aging and dying means they have lost their passion for guys. They mostly want freebies (free meal, free entertainment) or marriage (financial security), You know this is true. That is why most guys have to pay women a BRIBE to get them to go on a date. Wise up!
I rest my case. Would love to hear from women regarding this.
[Edited on 7/22/2009 5:05 AM]
[Edited on 7/22/2009 5:07 AM]
[Edited on 7/22/2009 5:07 AM]
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| Jul 22 @ 8:41 AM |
Sexless dating
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ColdinWisconsin
Posts: 9,987
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That is about how fun dating is for me. Its about as fun as having a date over the phone. Whoopy!! All the women I meet are not only prudes, they are devoid of any physical affection. And women are VERY appethetic about meeting guys. I am mostly talking about women past the age of forty. The process of aging and dying means they have lost their passion for guys. They mostly want freebies (free meal, free entertainment) or marriage (financial security), You know this is true. That is why most guys have to pay women a BRIBE to get them to go on a date. Wise up!
I rest my case. Would love to hear from women regarding this.
Alright, I'm a woman and I will respond to this....
Frankly, you have some very valid points. I'm 44 and I couldn't be more apathetic about meeting a man. Many of my friends are in this age group and they feel pretty much the same way. I do think you have made a strong point in that regard. But the reason for the apathy is not lack of physical desire because we are getting old, in fact, many of us are in our prime. (if you know what I mean)
Times have changed, it is no longer enough for a man to pay for our movie ticket or purchase a nice dinner. In reality, we can do that for ourselves. For the most part we are more than willing to do so in an effort to get to know a man. It takes the intimacy off the table. You see...sister's are doing it for themselves. We mow our own lawns, we take our car in for that oil change, we can paint, do basic plumbing and a plethora of other things. Unfortunately for a man that means he's going to have to bring more to the table other than a free ticket or a medium rare steak.
He's going to have to be a good conversationalist. Diversified interests. An interesting group of friends and a fun family would be nice too. I think in some ways men are still working under the impression that a woman needs to be taken care of. I'm not saying that isn't nice, I'm just saying that it's no longer the mitigating factor. He is now gonna have to get the goods.
Times have changed all the way around. Men in their 40's and 50's can hit up a drunk younger woman in a tavvy and score. Woman in that age group are looking for the full package. And let's remember this...you hit our age and we understand the concept of "things are as good as they are going to get". The whole..."things are best in the beginning and then the little irritants show". If we (all of us) don't find that "click" within a few dates, we are going to move on. We aren't out to change anyone. We have finally learned that it can't be done.
In the beginning...dating...sure, I can certainly go without the physical aspect of it. But once we have decided to become exclusive, no...I would not want to forgo that aspect of things. You do also find at our age who is a good match physically (duration, and the all important "how often") and those can be deal breakers too.
I think it's harder at our age, we have become much more discriminating. But that's just my take on things.
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| Jul 23 @ 8:58 AM |
Sexless dating |
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Spankenstein
Posts: 18
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This is a smart woman up above me.
I've been in dating relationships without intercourse, but then I and my partners usually like spanking and BDSM which is a substitute for sex for some women and a prelude to sex for others.
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| Jul 24 @ 4:58 AM |
Sexless dating
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fitguy
Posts: 2
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Thanks for the reply from ColdinWisconin.
I want to clarify that I think it is a nice gesture when a man voluntarily offers to dole out some cash for his date. What turns me off is when a woman expects this and feels she is "entitled" to it (as a complete stranger). I am more apt to give from my heart when a woman has earned my respect through her warmth, affection, kindness, etc. A woman who feels entitled to a man's money has lost my respect. She is merely a leech, a manipulating begar on the street.
It is nice to hear that there are some women who care more about the relationship than the money. However, one of the questions many women first ask a guy is "What do you do for work?" (Which translated into man-language is understood to mean, "Impress me with how much money can I get out of you?") To that question, I feel like answering, "Sorry, I didn't think this would be a business interview; I forgot to bring my resume and financial statements." Turn off. Too bad she wasn't interested in me to ask questions about me as a person, such as, "What are your interests or passions in life?"
In my recent post I am both venting and speculating. It is encouraging to hear that some women over 40 still have some sexual desire and that it is even important enough to be a relationship deal-breaker. Unfortunately, I live in different world where I never encounter anything but prudish women. I wish I could encounter this some day before I burn out from all my wasted efforts. Unfortunately, women's apathy in meeting guys makes the effort, time (115 hours), and (often) money ($628) too much to bear. And if they want to be platonic and unaffectionate during the initial dating, then there is no benefit for the guy. The odds are, all his effort, time, and money will be wasted down the drain with another rejection, having got nothing in return. Women forget or don't consider all the previous rejection men have been through. Somehow each women feels that she is the only woman the guy has ever dated. Therefore, she expects him to put out all this time, money, and effort, yet gives nothing in return to his benefit (affection, better yet sex) that he couldn't get from spending time with his buddies. She does not realize that in his mind, all this time, money, and effort is likely going to be wasted down the drain with another rejection. Fortunately for her, most guys do not add up the accumulated cost over the months and years. If they did, their eyes would be open. They would roll their eyes and realize that sterile, unaffectionate dating is not worth it.
The women over 40 that I have dated, like to date in public, but are unwilling to be physically affectionate in public. Hence, it is a sterile experience, devoid of physical affection. It does not meet any of the man's needs from a woman, yet the overall process has this immense accumulative cost, that usually ends up with nothing to gain but rejection--a complete waste. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
Bottom line from my post. I would love to have a good relationship with a woman. But the price is so high with no benefit (physical affection) in return. It is not worth the cost. I am still waiting for a woman who could convince me that there is some benefit for a guy to date a woman who is not at least physically affectionate.
If she has no chemistry, she shouldn't date him. If she does have chemistry, she shouldn't hold it back like a prude. If she needs time to figure out whether she has chemistry, then she should lighten the burden on him, "go dutch," or "no cost date," and try to make up her mind soon before too much time is invested.
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| Jul 26 @ 12:08 AM |
Sexless dating |
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safaristars
Posts: 289
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I can't help to respond to you, Fitguy, about a woman asking what you do for a living in a date. Did you ever consider that the woman might be interested in what activities you are involved in for HALF of your waking life??? Seriously! I ask that on every date and could care less how much a guy makes as long as he enjoys his job and keeps him from living on a friends couch...or in a shopping cart.
I understand that society has created a lot of expectations on men being the wallets of the relationship ~ especially in the older generations. I would like to see things change in that respect as well. I have always been open to going dutch and taking the casual approach of "you bought last time, it's my turn". Of course ~ I'm a low maintenance girl. I don't spend my last dollar working on every inch of my body to be perfect all the time to look good to a man. It's my humble opinion that women that take that approach probably feel justified in letting the man pay cuz they've spent hundreds (or thousands) waxing, veneers, and boob jobs, etc. Or, of course, the issue that men still get paid more than women for the same job doesn't help that problem, either. I've been a victim of that issue in several jobs I've had.
I hope you don't give up on dating if you really want a relationship. Maybe try taking the approach of "I love friends that are girls" and see who really likes you for you before trying to move forward into a relationship. This gets you out of the financial end ~ and ~ you'll widen your circle of friends to possibly meet someone at the same time. Girls are great friends! 
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| Jul 26 @ 12:09 AM |
Sexless dating
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safaristars
Posts: 289
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PS ~ As for Sexless Dating ~ I call that friendship. Or ~ better yet ~ friends without benefits. 
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| Jul 26 @ 12:18 AM |
Sexless dating |
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chubs
Posts: 2,592
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to tell the truth...I think fitguy is just trying to "get some"! 
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| Jul 30 @ 8:40 PM |
Sexless dating
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Strata2007
Posts: 210
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Sexless dating? 
Hmmmmm ....I prefer to have my facts before investing... sorry. 
If you had sex and it was out of the way would you still date the person to 'know' who she/he is? 
I want a friendship before relationship - to me that is progress. I guess "courting" has gone out of today's rites.
Really...I'd rather put my energy into a meaningful friendship than spend time with strange bedfellows.
To each his fancy  
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| Jul 31 @ 9:34 PM |
Sexless dating |
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luneib
Posts: 732
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I could go without it, but....if I were in a serious relationship with a guy I was in love with, well....I'd want more than just a cuddle every now and then, it's just human nature to want to be intimate and share that with the one you love.
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| Aug 4 @ 8:27 PM |
Sexless dating
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mixxalot
Posts: 13
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Dude, dating=porking=sex with a relationship.
Tom Leykis 101 is spot on correct! If you are not having sex, not a relationship!
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| Aug 14 @ 6:25 AM |
Sexless dating |
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dreamlover4U
Posts: 1,082
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The process of aging and dying means they have lost their passion for guys
Whoa, wait...
I want to be 80 years old and die in the end of having the most passionate sex of my life. That is the only way to go. I guess what he meant was I will have to die in the arms of a woman since any woman over 40 no longer can have sex with a man, duh. 
Sexless dating on a regular basis, another thought provoking thread... Uh, no... after careful thought and consideration, I will have to say ~ Uh, no way.
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| Aug 14 @ 11:52 PM |
Sexless dating
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Nightowl001
Posts: 7,509
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No.
Blame it on my ex, call it baggage, whatever. But I am done giving up what I want for someone else's happiness. And one of the things I want in a relationship is some cute little lady who wants me to give her orgasms. That's not ALL I want. But if that isn't part of the deal, it's a deal breaker.
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| Aug 15 @ 9:09 PM |
Sexless dating |
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safaristars
Posts: 289
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Thinking about this subject again ~ how could two single adults that have chemistry towards each other not have sex after a few dates ~ unless you have other issues like being married ~ or motives like a fast marriage (I know a gold-digging woman who held out on sex for a faster marriage proposal. It worked for her purposes but the man is miserable now that he understands what the real cost was). Seems to me if all is clear in availability department that love making is the natural progression.
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| Aug 15 @ 11:03 PM |
Sexless dating
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Loreli
Posts: 25,417
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Obviously we're all different.
I think too soon could kill chances. But I think 2 mature adults will know when the time is right in a natural procession.
I'd hate to jump in after a couple of dates, with someone I haven't gotten to know in other ways than the physical.
But I also know, as we get older, waiting for marriage isn't always the way to go.
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| Aug 16 @ 12:49 AM |
Sexless dating |
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AmyLu
Posts: 21
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Hey Nice! I just got told "You will be single forever sweetheart" Because I refuse to skinny dip with a man that is coming to Phoenix, nor was I willing to VIEW him naked. That was after my reply telling him to forget about meeting up because I was a GOOD girl.. and I mean it. Just because I talk to you, meet you, even go on a date with you, does NOT earn you the right to either see me naked, view YOU naked, sex, etc. Im not a prude, but I have to have some feelings you know? WTH is so wrong with that? If it really IS that much of a problem - then hey, maybe I will be single forever.. so be it. My heart is more important than seeing a swinging D**k. Grrrrrrrrrrr! *vent over*
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| Aug 16 @ 1:10 PM |
Sexless dating
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my134
Posts: 75
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hellll nooo, this is my way of doing it sex after a few dates, it is that simple if you are in to me then haveing sex shouldnt be any problem.
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| Aug 16 @ 1:20 PM |
Sexless dating |
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 13,679
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if there is no desire to have sex.... AFTER MEETING IN PERSON.... and ..going out on a few dates to get to know the person...)
you are not dating.. but just hanging out....(imho...)
(good post Lori... )
is a  one night stand/ drive by encounter ( fly in ....hit it ...then fly out...) considered ..??dating??
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