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| Jun 25, 2007 @ 11:56 AM |
What The............
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tulip717
Posts: 1,665
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Last night a guy on another site, asked me how many guys I've had sex with. And he told me that it was important to him, because he wants a "good girl." But I don't see how it can be important to him when we have only had one phone conversation & a handful of emails. I wrote back that I wasn't a slutty woman, and that I don't want everyone knowing my personal business. And if we ever get to that point in our relationship than I would tell him. But it feels like a lose-lose situation. He replied back that he has been with 9 girls and wants to know if my number is more or less. I wrote back that I don't want everyone knowing what I have done and that I'm not ashamed. I have no problem talking about it with someone I am seeing. But I feel weird telling someone I hardly know. He wrote back and said he will trust my judgement for now. I understand it's important to tell when your interested in someone because they have to be concern with their health and even heart. I just don't wanna talk about it with someone I don't know if their is a connection or not. But how important is it on the getting to know stages online. I don't know the rules to online dating. Heck I hardly know the rules to regular dating. But was he out of line to ask such a personal question or was I out of line to refuse to answer such a question. He claims he wasn't trying to be perverted and I don't really think he was. I just found it as an odd question. Can someone help me here. Thanks!
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| Jun 25, 2007 @ 12:00 PM |
What The............ |
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Loreli
Posts: 20,311
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Personally?
I would have stopped corresponding on the 2nd email.
You told him-he persisted. He should have dropped it until YOU were comfortable.
You stay a good girl, g/f! You deserve it... 
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| Jun 25, 2007 @ 12:10 PM |
What The............
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 8,063
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But was he out of line to ask such a personal question or was I out of line to refuse to answer such a question. He claims he wasn't trying to be perverted and I don't really think he was. I just found it as an odd question. Can someone help me here. Thanks!
he asked what was one of the most important parts of his weeding out process...if you do not want to tell him now..and it is pretty obvious to me that the number is higher than his...as a lower number would be ( in most cases) something that is not a big deal...
1) you risk the possibility that he will use you abuse you and then drop you because he feels that you are , in his eyes, a slut...
2) He will forgive you your trespasses ... because he fell madly in love with you...
3) you will see him for the shallow person that he really is...and dump him...
He wrote back and said he will trust my judgement for now
. 
my opinion is...one can ask anything they want..and the other party has the right to not answer and that is that..what each of you do after that determines where the relationship will go...
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| Jun 25, 2007 @ 12:25 PM |
What The............ |
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DipityDoo
Posts: 376
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Amazing.
Drop him quick.
His question betrayed a total lack of respect for you, of respect for appropriate boundaries, of class and defintely hinted at a negative attitude towards life and a slightly misogynist attitude towards woman.
You deserve something better.
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| Jun 25, 2007 @ 12:28 PM |
What The............
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twotall911
Posts: 12,863
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yeah stay a good girl 
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| Jun 25, 2007 @ 12:30 PM |
What The............ |
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Loreli
Posts: 20,311
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Well...  she can be a bad girl for a good man... 
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| Jun 25, 2007 @ 12:35 PM |
What The............
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tulip717
Posts: 1,665
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 loreli
gallow pleaseeeeeeeee
my number is not higher........so there.......
its not a matter of ego.......
its a matter of not quite knowing this person and not feeling comfortable .....
no matter what the ratio..........................
it felt odd, eerie, ......................  but.................
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| Jun 25, 2007 @ 12:35 PM |
What The............ |
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 8,063
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Loreli is exactly right......(He is the one with the issues...(imo))
edited...if you are thinking the number matters....it doesn't... I apologize if I have offended... 
[Edited on 6/25/2007 12:39 PM]
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| Jun 25, 2007 @ 12:37 PM |
What The............
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tulip717
Posts: 1,665
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| Jun 25, 2007 @ 4:36 PM |
What The............ |
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loisday
Posts: 1,333
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I would have told him I was a VERY good girl.................. 
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| Jun 25, 2007 @ 5:18 PM |
What The............
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tulip717
Posts: 1,665
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np gallow
lois i didnt feel a need to say that either....ugh 
it was so odd i was kinda stunned!
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| Jun 25, 2007 @ 6:07 PM |
What The............ |
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crashhere
Posts: 87
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| Jun 25, 2007 @ 6:28 PM |
What The............
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jamminjerry
Posts: 3,780
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the "weird" question i ask a woman is if she can still have kids and then if she wanted kids. so, theres ya another curve ball. i don't know how to respond to your question other than answer or don't. if sexual experiences are important one way or the other he just may have some hangups. the same or simular questions have been asked here. go to those threads and see the kinds of answers.
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| Jun 25, 2007 @ 6:51 PM |
What The............ |
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dooney123
Posts: 3,446
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Interesting, Tulip- I just saw this post on another dating site. It was posted there about a month ago from someone who doesn't look like at all like you.
Last night a guy on *** asked me how many guys I've had sex with. And he told me that it was important to him because he wants a good girl. But I don't see how it can be important to him when we have only had one phone conversation & a handful of emails. I wrote back that I wasn't a slutty girl and that I don't want everyone knowing my personal business. And if we ever get to that point in our relationship than I would tell him. But it feels like a loose-loose situation. He replied back that he has been with 9 girls and wants to know if my number is more or less. I wrote back that I don't want everyone knowing what I have done and that I'm not ashamed. I have no problem talking about it with someone I am seeing. But I feel weird telling someone I hardly know. He wrote back and said he will trust my judgement for now. I understand it's important to tell when your interested in someone because they have to be concern with their health and even heart. I didn't want to tell because my number was higher than his number. I haven't slept with a lot of guys. I just don't wanna talk about it with someone I don't know if their is a connection or not. But how important is it on the getting to know stages online. I don't know the rules to online dating. Heck I hardly know the rules to regular dating. But was he out of line to ask such a personal question or was I out of line to refuse to answer such a question. He claims he wasn't trying to be perverted and I don't really think he was. I just found it as an odd question. Can someone help me here. Thanks!
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| Jun 25, 2007 @ 7:00 PM |
What The............
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Pete73052
Posts: 19,368
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Busted... 
Anyway... the topic is interesting...
Don't ask, don't tell. I've always figured it's none of my business. If you're worried about STD's then both people should get checked out. A small number of partners doesn't guarantee safety - and a high number doesn't guarantee risk.
So if it really isn't about that, what is it about? Promiscuity - nothing more. Again, it's none of the guy's business. I've been with women who have had lots of men, and with virgins... I prefer women who are experienced. Tell the guy to take that Scarlet Letter crap somewhere else...
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| Jun 25, 2007 @ 7:16 PM |
What The............ |
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peachylisa
Posts: 1,810
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well said
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| Jun 26, 2007 @ 1:55 PM |
What The............
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NatGoat
Posts: 4,213
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~DITTO!~
Give him the 'ol *Nunya* . . !!!
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*Nunya-Damn-Bizniz . . !!!*
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| Jun 26, 2007 @ 2:12 PM |
What The............ |
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swingpup
Posts: 4,105
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He replied back that he has been with 9 girls and wants to know if my number is more or less.
Sounds like he is one notch past a virgin. Possibly he was talking about in one week, one month, one year??
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| Jun 26, 2007 @ 6:23 PM |
What The............
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candylily
Posts: 1,347
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I never answer that question because it's none of anyone's business.
I am amazed at how many guys ask how many guys I've met online and how many I'm talking to now. I would never ask a guy those questions. What would the correct answer be anyway?
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| Jun 26, 2007 @ 7:45 PM |
What The............ |
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JayBird747
Posts: 728
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Ah fer pete's sake. Who the heck cares? If yer an 18-year-old bride-ta-be, then sure, I can see wantin ta get some info on a track record.
If yer past 30, an been married before, who the heck cares. Do the parts still work? If so, then your good to go.
Anybody done been a few laps on the track ain't outter be askin. Sure, he can, but if he does, tell him NONE YER DAMN BUSINESS.
If that is a putt off fer him, yer well rid a him anyhow.
So says the bird.
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page:
<<
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2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
>>
of 2 pages
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< previous page | next page >
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