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| Jan 2, 2008 @ 4:08 PM |
Ladies:Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male?
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Thor1960303
Posts: 3,345
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In reading through posts from many women,I get the impression that many of them think that how the female mind is wired and how women relate to sex is somehow more "refined" or "creative" or "imaginative",and I hear words like,"deeper,more intimate" and "hotter".
OK let's compare it.Men like graphic visuals.Breasts and vaginas and the basic mechanics of sex.Men tend to relate to sex and women the same way they relate to everything else.Their cars,their stereos,their plasma TV's,whatever."Have you seen Joe's wife?Great rack!""Seen Bill's truck?Nice engine!"Thus the dreaded objectification syndrome.If men objectify women,it's because they objectify everything,so don't take it personal.
Women OTOH talk about intimacy and connection.Feelings.Romance.Is this really better,or is it just different.
In a long term relationship,I like both.The intimacy and romance is fine,but when it's whoopie time, I want my woman to be the wanton porn star in the sack.There's a time and place for everything.
I really don't think one view of sex is better than the other,they're just different.
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| Jan 2, 2008 @ 4:14 PM |
Ladies:Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male? |
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,955
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No. I don't. I don't believe that anything having to do with sexuality is predefined, biological, or evolutionary, except sexual orientation. I believe every human being is engendered to behave sexually the way they do.
Men are visual because they are told to be. That's why the standards of attractiveness change all the time.
Women are engendered to believe they must love their partners and not engage in promiscuous sex with many partners.
If our societal standards were different, then we would be different. Different societies have different societal standards for sexuality, and behave differently than we do. That is why I do not believe that gender roles are biological, because many societies are matriarchies as opposed to patriarchies, but we cannot recognise it (at least the majority of us) because we are so engendered to believe patriarchy is the "right way".
There are many men that believe in having one partner, and having feelings, and not engaging in promiscuous sex, and many women that are promiscuous, and visual, and sexual. Just look at the array of people on MD. How many men are looking for "the right woman", and are sensitive, and romantic and "nice", and how many women do you see who are visual and completely sexual in the way they communicate?
It is all engendered....none of it is biological...it is just a fact.
As for which it is better....I have to be honest and say that I have experienced both in my life and sometimes I honestly yearn for the days when I could have "free love" with no relationship because it was uncomplicated and I didn't have to work at it...but other days I remember how it was, and love being with Rolf. There's a comfort in being in a relationship.
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| Jan 2, 2008 @ 4:37 PM |
Ladies:Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male?
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Thor1960303
Posts: 3,345
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It is all engendered....none of it is biological...it is just a fact.
What are you basing this on?Where are you getting your facts?I see it as a bit of both.Much of it is biological,at least based on my studies,and much of it is societal,though in order for a society to be "engineered" there has to be something to work with initially.
Visuals for example.If men weren't naturally visual,Playboy magazine would never have enjoyed the success it has,likewise Playgirl,should by all rights be as popular among women.Yet it's not,but it is popular with gay men.
Different societies have different societal standards for sexuality, and behave differently than we do. T Yes,but they're still based on the same basics the world over.Men are visual,therefore the Middle Eastern rule (which as I understand predates Islam) is to keep women covered.Now I guess if you want a make a case for societal engineering,I guess you need to look at very primitive cultures where people wear little or no clothes.Are the men visually oriented there?Do they not get as excited over nudity?Maybe not nudity,but check out their fertitlty and mating rites.The young virgins are usually painted and adorned and made up to be visually attracting to the males.
I can't think of a culture where men and women take on different sexual roles.
In the animal kingdom it's a mixed bag,depending on how evolution has geared the species.In most birds,for example,it's the female that makes more use of visuals.Male birds are usually the most brightly colored,whereas female plumage is usually dull.This is so the female can blend into the surroundings better to hide from predators.
You'll have to do better than that to convince me that people aren't at least in part biologically geared toward their sexuality.
There are many men that believe in having one partner, and having feelings, and not engaging in promiscuous sex, and many women that are promiscuous, and visual, and sexual. Just look at the array of people on MD. How many men are looking for "the right woman", and are sensitive, and romantic and "nice", and how many women do you see who are visual and completely sexual in the way they communicate? I took one of those tests online to see which gender my brain was supposed to be oriented.My wife and I both scored 70% male.Now all that tells me is that the human brain has aspects of both genders,how much differs from individual to individual.
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| Jan 2, 2008 @ 4:46 PM |
Ladies:Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male? |
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,955
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Matriarchal Societies
* The traditional Nair community in Kerala, South India is matrifocal by their definition of 'matrifocality'. (Nowadays this system is rarely practiced. The members of the Nair community now live in nuclear families). A traditional Nair matrifocal family is called a Tarawad or Marumakkathayam family. A traditional Nair Tarawad consists of a mother and her children living together with their mother's surviving eldest brother or eldest surviving maternal uncle who is called Karanavan. The Karnavan exercises full powers over the affairs of the family. Until recently, the main significance of this system was that the heirs to the property were the women in the family and the men folk were only allowed to enjoy the benefits during their lifetime. The naming system of the Nair community had the prefix of their mother's 'family name' and they adopted the maternal uncle’s surname. The Marumakkathayam system of Kerala was a legal right which determined inheritance through the female line. Thus if a family property was to be partitioned all female members would receive one share and all male members who were direct offspring of the family name would receive one share. Thus a brother might receive only one share while his sister and her children (and grandchildren by her daughters) would each receive a share. This right was removed by the Kerala Joint Hindu Family System (Abolition) Act, 1975.
* Mosuo people - Lugu Lake, bordering between Yunnan & Sichuan province, China.
* The people of Western Sahara (the former Spanish Sahara), occupied by Morocco retain semi-matriarchal customs. [1]. See also Polisario Front.
* The people of the Bolama archipelago in Guinea-Bissau[2].
* Guajiro tribes - inhabiting the Guajira Department in Colombia and the adjacent region in the Caribbean coast in Venezuela, South America. Children are raised not by their father but by their mother's brother (avunculism).
I just do not believe in biological or evolutionary trends in sexuality. If this were fully true, I believe there would not be so many women who are visually and sexually oriented. I believe that women do not show this side because of the stigma against women's sexuality...I believe the same is true for men. I have seen too many times men who have shown feelings or sensitivity being labeled by other men as "fags", "sissies", etc, and no matter what, a man will always value another man's opinion over a woman's...this too is engendered. I have taken many classes on this and read many articles and books on these subjects and there is too much evidence that much of human sexuality is engendered, not biological.
BTW- I have also read that matriarchy exists in nearly every society that does not subscribe to the concept of "nuclear family".
Thor, gender is a "social construct". Gender is different in different communities, for example, among different cultures in America. White women have different gender constructs than black women, Asian women than Hispanic women. Think back to primitive times. The woman was the leader in society simply because she bore children. Since biblical times, the woman has become secondary to the man and it remains that way because of the number of people that practise Christianity, Islam, and Judaism, which all promote this principle. Society sets the rules for gender, many people believe that it is biological, but I personally believe, as do many, that we are told what to be. Why do you think that children who play with toys or are exposed to things meant for the opposite sex end up to be more "like" the opposite sex? Take me as an example....played with wrestling figures and dinosaurs as a kid, and always acted out wrestling (always played as a guy wrestler, too) and Star Wars and look at me now.
Nearly everything I have learned from psychiatry and sociology has proven to me that gender is socially constructed and not biological. Sex and gender are two completely different things...that is proven by how many people are "born in the wrong body".
[Edited on 1/2/2008 5:08 PM]
[Edited on 1/2/2008 5:09 PM]
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| Jan 2, 2008 @ 5:46 PM |
Ladies:Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male?
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lizardlicks
Posts: 236
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Did you say; Wrinkles 
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| Jan 2, 2008 @ 5:49 PM |
Ladies:Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male? |
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Loreli
Posts: 25,401
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i have to disagree....
I like a nice butt on a guy better than a nice engine in his car..... 
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| Jan 2, 2008 @ 7:07 PM |
Ladies:Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male?
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ByronicHero
Posts: 41
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by Lipglossqueen
I just do not believe in biological or evolutionary trends in sexuality. If this were fully true, I believe there would not be so many women who are visually and sexually oriented. I believe that women do not show this side because of the stigma against women's sexuality...I believe the same is true for men. I have seen too many times men who have shown feelings or sensitivity being labeled by other men as "fags", "sissies", etc, and no matter what, a man will always value another man's opinion over a woman's...this too is engendered. I have taken many classes on this and read many articles and books on these subjects and there is too much evidence that much of human sexuality is engendered, not biological.
Ooh! Intelligence...
I think simplistic men whose thoughts are superficial will look to men to be validated. Men whose opinions of themselves transcend their worth are simple. Is it possible for a man to convince himself that he is attractive, interesting, complex, and worthwhile because he knows how to manipulate women who don't know any better into sleeping with him and getting pats on the back from other men?
He feels like he's the ultimate gift to mankind because reaching for a higher purpose is impossible for him. If the feeling that comes with validation from these men is so powerful, it is because he is vacuous, and he covers it up.
I think a woman sees more layers than these men have any desire to see. It is far better to be admired by a woman with worth than to be commended on one's masculinity by a man whose opinions can't even be properly articulated.
The Gender you think of is a construct masking incompetency.
I value intelligence and the ability to see things in three dimensions. My sentiment to you lipgloss is to find someone who treasures you and values you more than he would some man. Isn't the purpose of love to find someone who you value and can be sensitive and tender with, even if you are a man?
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| Jan 2, 2008 @ 10:13 PM |
Ladies:Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male? |
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KAOS2007
Posts: 8,201
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Different? Not really, we're just no where near as vocal about it, well some of us anyways. 
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| Jan 2, 2008 @ 10:21 PM |
Ladies:Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male?
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 13,654
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I must admit that...
the only person I understood just what they were saying was....
Kaos... 
I value intelligence and the ability to see things in three dimensions.
so do I...
My sentiment to you lipgloss is to find someone who treasures you and values you more than he would some man.
translate this into one of the three dimensions please....
I read this as.. a guy who treasures another guy is not a good choice for LGQ....
... 
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| Jan 2, 2008 @ 11:44 PM |
Ladies:Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male? |
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ByronicHero
Posts: 41
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~value her intellectually~
But that was very funny 
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| Jan 3, 2008 @ 12:08 AM |
Ladies:Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male?
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BeachCrete
Posts: 8,600
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"they" will say Yes....and "we"will say No......fun to discuss it though
Some women feel differently than others...just like some guys do....all in all I believe that the guys catch the bad rap about the non-sexuality deal
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| Jan 3, 2008 @ 12:43 AM |
Ladies:Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male? |
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painter007
Posts: 17,854
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I think there are women who know their sexual side.......so maybe that makes it more refined 
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| Jan 4, 2008 @ 10:39 AM |
Ladies:Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male?
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Thor1960303
Posts: 3,345
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Nearly everything I have learned from psychiatry and sociology has proven to me that gender is socially constructed and not biological. Sex and gender are two completely different things...that is proven by how many people are "born in the wrong body".
Have you studied biology and brain chemistry as well?Time magazine did a fascinating article a few years back on the differences between male and female brain chemistry and operation as have Discover,Omni and Scientific American.
I see it as BOTH psycho/sociological AND physiological..The studies I read suggested that chemical differences in the brain are in part responsible for some of this.It doesn't mean that people come "pre engineered" to be a certain way ("He man" or "sissy boy"),but it can mean that they have more of predisposition to have a certain leaning.Just as a person who's parents had cancer may be more likely to get cancer.Doesn't mean they will,just means they should pay close attention to their medical check ups.Compound the biological with societal upbringing and you have the current mess.Just my opinion anyway.
As for the "born in the wrong body", I had this discussion on another forum.I have a very good friend who is transsexual.He (now she) is married (to a woman,they were married when he was "male) and have five kids.They are a very conservative,religious family,yet when it comes to light what my friend is,they get ostracized from the churches they attend.One man I debated with believed gender dysphoria was a mental issue and said that "believing that you were supposed to one sex when you are physically another is tantamount to a schizophrenic claiming to be a teapot".I disagree with that,but the guy I was debating with presented quotes from medical journals from the John's-Hopkins University.So the issue is far from being "fact",it's still being debated by the experts.
I don't think it's one particular thing that makes what we are,I think it's combination of a lot of things,plus the makeup of the individual.
The Gender you think of is a construct masking incompetency.
Very profound! I see this in BOTH genders.
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| Jan 4, 2008 @ 10:49 AM |
Ladies:Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male? |
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DJ1024
Posts: 156
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i think most women get excited when they see big things, lol it's not just men who are visual.
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| Jan 4, 2008 @ 4:06 PM |
Ladies:Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male?
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Bluebonnet72
Posts: 2,832
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I like a nice butt on a guy better than a nice engine in his car..... 
I agree Lor......maybe in tight jeans...... 
Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male? No I dont ....as per above
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| Jan 4, 2008 @ 4:10 PM |
Ladies:Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male? |
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pamdemonium
Posts: 17,347
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I prefer a kind heart and intelligence to a nice butt.
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| Jan 4, 2008 @ 4:18 PM |
Ladies:Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male?
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Bluebonnet72
Posts: 2,832
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kind heart, intelligence and.....nice butt......... 
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| Jan 4, 2008 @ 5:41 PM |
Ladies:Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male? |
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pamdemonium
Posts: 17,347
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Exactly.
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| Jan 4, 2008 @ 5:43 PM |
Ladies:Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male?
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ColdinWisconsin
Posts: 9,987
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So......a man can look at a woman and get turned on. Big deal. I hear a man or listen to him or read his writing....I get turned on. He uses his eyes, I use my brain.
More refined? Heck no. Just a different area being used.
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| Jan 4, 2008 @ 5:45 PM |
Ladies:Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male? |
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pamdemonium
Posts: 17,347
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Women think circularly and men think in linear terms.
And men are visual, women are cerebral. Easy.
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