| Jun 13 @ 3:51 AM |
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custis
Posts: 1,341
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"In looking through dating sites,even the adult ones,you get the same old,tired argument.Guys are looking for casual,non committal,no strings sex and women get tired of this and complain about how all men are just horny pigs looking to get their rocks off."
Ok, I will tackle this part of your post. Whether anyone likes it or disagrees or whatever, the fact is that for at least 75% of the people on the dating forums, a great game is being played out over and over again. Here is how it goes.
The majority of the men have no real interest or desire to get married or hung up in a committed relationship. They have already done that, been there. By the same token, a great number of the women want sex and want it bad. But they are conditioned by society to think that if they have sex for the sake of sex, then they are "bad girls," and will be referred to by those male-derived terms that were invented for keeping women in their places, barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. I am talking about terms like "Sl.ut, wh.ore, chippy, skank," so on and so forth.
Well, there are plenty of men on the dating sites who are willing to tell these women what they want to hear. They will tell them "Yes, I want a committed relationship and I believe in love and fidelity," etc , etc, ad infinitum and ad nauseum. So time after time after time, these women get laid by the guys who tell them what they want to hear and then vanish into the sunset. They know that is what is going to happen the majority of the time, but as long as the guy tells them what they want to hear, then they can say that he lied and misled them, etc, etc, ad infinitum, and thus not have the guilt of having purposely had casual sex with malice and forethought. They know that the next guy is more than likely going to do the same thing, but as long as he tells them what they want to hear, it will be ok and they will once again get some good sex while just having to be properly outraged when once again, it does not turn out that way and the guy splits after squirting.
In this manner everyone gets lots of casual sex while pretending it is not casual. The bad part in this system is that no guy dares be honest and say that he just wants casual sex. Otherwise the woman who has had sex with twenty or more men that year who all told her what she wanted to hear, will be outraged and say "Hell no! what do you think I am?" He has to play the game correctly.
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| Jun 13 @ 2:04 PM |
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Thor1960303
Posts: 1,876
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Excellent post,Custis,I think you hit the proverbial nail on the head.  Certainly not everyone fits into what you describe,but enough to make for a confusing mess of the relationship between the sexes that's for sure.
I often wonder what would've happened if the sexual revolution had completely been allowed to play out.The goal was to eliminate the stupid games and labels.But then,what fun would that have been? 
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| Jun 13 @ 2:52 PM |
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SpiritEnergy
Posts: 16,997
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 Ok, so you are saying then that they ALWAYS lie? How about if you (me) are a commitment phobe? If he swears to no commitment I have to worry now he is going to try to trap me?  Shit!
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| Jun 14 @ 4:30 AM |
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custis
Posts: 1,341
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"Ok, so you are saying then that they ALWAYS lie? How about if you (me) are a commitment phobe? If he swears to no commitment I have to worry now he is going to try to trap me?"
I am sure that they do not always lie, but many do. I just pointed out the truth of the matter. What conclusions you draw from that are up to you. There is indeed a great game of the type I described going on in the dating sites, but this does not mean that some of the individuals involved do not eventually find someone and commit. It just means that whether they want to admit it or not, human beings want and need sex, and will usually take it for the sake of having it, not matter how much they may say to the contrary.
It is small wonder that most of the rest of the world is convinced that Americans are nuts. We have built up such a tremendous pile of pseudo-philosophical, quasi-religious, tabooistic, cultural crap around sex that it is a wonder any of us ever get laid.
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| Jun 15 @ 5:48 PM |
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Thor1960303
Posts: 1,876
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We have built up such a tremendous pile of pseudo-philosophical, quasi-religious, tabooistic, cultural crap around sex that it is a wonder any of us ever get laid.
Those that are getting laid have just figured out how to decipher the complex language of finding people who want what they want,but can't say it,so they have to lay their intentions "between the lines."You have to be an expert at reading the language between the lines and saying what you want without actually saying it.
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| Jun 16 @ 5:30 AM |
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CowboyX
Posts: 133
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I suggest mastribation. It takes a lot less time and effort than looking for casual sex.
If you want sex, why not just get a girlfriend?
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| Jun 16 @ 5:17 PM |
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custis
Posts: 1,341
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"If you want sex, why not just get a girlfriend?"
I have several of them. If I ever find someone I want to be monogamous with, they will understand.
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| Jun 16 @ 8:04 PM |
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jaybird777
Posts: 1,041
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THere ain't no such thing as casual sex.
Not for me.
If Ima gonna do it, I am gonna doer full bore (pun) and do it right.
I might get lazy about paintin a damn fence, er mowin a yard, and cut a few corners.
Havin sex is the most important thing we do on the planet. Oh yeah? Name ONE thing more important?!?
If you do anything right yer wholse dang life, you outter be doing that right.
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| Jun 23 @ 10:54 PM |
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scotlove674
Posts: 68
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Wow.  I'm glad that not every male on this thread agrees with Thor.
Well, maybe they do, and that scares me a little. lol
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| Jun 23 @ 11:47 PM |
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willsmalto
Posts: 3,631
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If you want sex, why not just get a girlfriend?
are girlfriends now sex materials? I thought you wanted to say f*ck buddy
casual sex could be liberating and costly at the same time
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| Jul 1 @ 10:00 AM |
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custis
Posts: 1,341
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" I thought you wanted to say f*ck buddy
casual sex could be liberating and costly at the same time"
The women I speak of are never referred to as "f*** buddies." They are my friends and they are clean, pleasant and respectable. For those who insist on finding reasons not to have sex, they are only depriving themselves. All I have to say is, whatever floats your boat.
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| Jul 1 @ 10:46 AM |
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willowy1
Posts: 4,937
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So time after time after time, these women get laid by the guys who tell them what they want to hear and then vanish into the sunset. They know that is what is going to happen the majority of the time, but as long as the guy tells them what they want to hear, then they can say that he lied and misled them, etc, etc, ad infinitum, and thus not have the guilt of having purposely had casual sex with malice and forethought. They know that the next guy is more than likely going to do the same thing, but as long as he tells them what they want to hear, it will be ok and they will once again get some good sex while just having to be properly outraged when once again, it does not turn out that way and the guy splits after squirting. Sorry Custis but some of this is a total load of crap. To be a playa the man must be really good! And really good looking! He must possess tons of experience.  He has to be an alpha. WOOF!
There just are not that many alphas anymore. You know some get caught (married or other wise relationship tangled), some get shot , some get old and get the tar beat out of them by the up and coming young pup. 
Do men lie to get sex? Well duh!! You underestimate womankind! The majority of women can sniff out a lie a mile away. Just as we can sniff out the alpha male.
They smell so yummy some of the women throw themselves at them. TAKE ME I AM YOURS *swoon*. Yes she knows what it is from the get go, but mind blowing sex is hard to find.
So in closing women always do the choosing in the sex department. Most of us are not as stupid as you seem to think we are.and uh Men are easy! 
[Edited on 7/1/2008 10:49 AM]
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| Jul 1 @ 10:49 AM |
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Silver1961
Posts: 4,095
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| Jul 1 @ 10:51 AM |
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pamdemonium
Posts: 14,546
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Most of us are not as stupid as you seem to think we are.and uh Men are easy!
Touche' Willowy! 
Two points for intelligence
and
Zero for the tits and ass brigade.
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| Jul 1 @ 11:00 AM |
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azgirl701
Posts: 105
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well you shouldnt be having sex with a friend
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| Jul 1 @ 11:03 AM |
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SpiritEnergy
Posts: 16,997
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Most of us are not as stupid as you seem to think we are.and uh Men are easy!
 Regardless of any misunderstandings, some people's characters stink. And it eventually shows. BIG time. It often takes crisis, pressure and stress to show some people's true character. Then and only then do their true selves show up. Something I have learned to my great chagrin. When I am not allowed to be my TRUE self, I tend to turn to that human part of me that I term 'THE BITCH'.
Well, I would like a sexual relationship WITH intimacy but seems many men are not capable of that. Intimacy included respect for the emotions. Women by their nature are emotional creatures. I am not saying men are not. But many men disregard the most important needs of 'their' woman and denigrate it no matter WHAT the woman tells him and then the men often will just try to beat the woman down, instead of giving in that little bit. That 'food' for the soul she so needs.
Men will often refuse to accept that the woman's needs are NOT inconsequential and that they truly are THE most important part of the relationship TO HER! Good grief. Who else is going to know? If she has any smarts, she won't share it with any potential competition and certainly not with other men.
Men shoot themselves in the foot. ALL the time. Oh well.
And um, I would not have sex with an enemy. I certainly WOULD want to be friends with MY lover.
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| Jul 1 @ 12:59 PM |
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 8,063
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Zero for the tits and ass brigade.
who is their mascot this month?
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| Jul 1 @ 1:20 PM |
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willowy1
Posts: 4,937
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Psst Gallow see the guy over there in the giant penis costume? Oops poor guy has his zipper stuck. Oucheeee that's gotta hurt.
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| Jul 1 @ 1:33 PM |
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SpiritEnergy
Posts: 16,997
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| Jul 1 @ 2:23 PM |
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Nightowl001
Posts: 4,139
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