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| Mar 17 @ 8:06 PM |
Withholding sex??
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blueyes101
Posts: 8,294
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Have you ever withheld sex from your husband/wife, or lover?
Or, have you ever had it withheld from you?
How did it make you feel? Trapped, relieved, confused?
I have only had a couple ex gf's who withheld, and the word confused comes to mind first. Pissed comes second..... Frustrated comes third.....
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| Mar 17 @ 8:25 PM |
Withholding sex?? |
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CathyCRN
Posts: 2,991
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Sure!!! WHen my ex would do something really stupid like spend all of our money on a "toy" for himself, I wouldn't want anything to do with him!!! He just didn't get it...couldn't figure out what was wrong with ME!!!
I figured little boys shouldn't be having sex...if he wanted to act like one, I would treat him like one...made me even more upset...right or wrong...it's the past
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| Mar 17 @ 8:33 PM |
Withholding sex??
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painter007
Posts: 15,853
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I have never withheld sex....and would never do it. Im not into power struggles or control. Just not my deal. I think its sad when women do....its wrong. Most men will do whatever his sweetie wants if she is loving with him..If the relationship has gotten to the point where there is a need to control someone, its time to get outside help. jmo
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| Mar 17 @ 9:13 PM |
Withholding sex?? |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 14,787
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I sure as hell withheld it after I told him that as far as I was concerned we no longer married, no matter whether the paperwork was done or not. Up until that point I tried, but probably should have realized that my normally healthy libido went dead for a reason. When someone makes you feel like a worthless POS, it's time to end the relationship, children or not. It's no longer a marriage, it's....I don't know what to call it, maybe slavery would do.
Truthfully there was nothing planned or manipulative about it, I jumped if he even touched me casually and there was no way he was getting close enough to me for any kind of intimacy. I wanted him out of my life and my kids lives as fast as possible - I refused alimony, didn't even try to enforce child support (and both sons were preschoolers, I both raised and totally supported them). I let him stay in the house until he could make arrangements for somewhere else to live, that was tough enough to deal with.
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| Mar 17 @ 9:20 PM |
Withholding sex??
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Loreli
Posts: 19,315
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Not with held sex, but got frustrated and just went to bed. It wasn't pursued....until later, then all had blown over, and life moved on!
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| Mar 17 @ 9:34 PM |
Withholding sex?? |
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ISSUESWOPTIONS
Posts: 5,981
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interesting  ......please continue
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| Mar 17 @ 9:36 PM |
Withholding sex??
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Loreli
Posts: 19,315
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Well, it isn't smart to go to bed angry, so you go to bed open to fixing things through love, talk, and (yes) sex.
So being woke up nicely in a couple hours fixes much!
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| Mar 17 @ 9:52 PM |
Withholding sex?? |
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ISSUESWOPTIONS
Posts: 5,981
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well, i meant "interesting" on the overall discussion, but you do have a very valid point. i actually weigh what you are saying Loreli, and the discussion topic when choosing a partner. i guess that is the joy of the single life. if she wants to with hold vag, no problem, find another, but the issue comes up when married because women try to take it as a powerbase. what if the guy does not think of it as such? ever think that is where the word "obey" that all women hate, came from in the ceremonie? 
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| Mar 17 @ 10:09 PM |
Withholding sex??
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I12B810
Posts: 141
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Withholding sex is not in my book. Gotta have is more like it!
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| Mar 17 @ 10:41 PM |
Withholding sex?? |
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drs297
Posts: 3,018
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everyday its withheld. damn women with morals
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| Mar 17 @ 10:43 PM |
Withholding sex??
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Loreli
Posts: 19,315
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awwww, c'mere drs...I can be bent or bribed.... 
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| Mar 17 @ 10:52 PM |
Withholding sex?? |
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drs297
Posts: 3,018
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bent sounds good.. now lean forward
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| Mar 17 @ 10:54 PM |
Withholding sex??
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Loreli
Posts: 19,315
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fold, spin and mutilate.....
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| Mar 17 @ 10:56 PM |
Withholding sex?? |
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drs297
Posts: 3,018
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sit, spin, bounce, bow, pull, jerk
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| Mar 17 @ 11:06 PM |
Withholding sex??
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capitalview
Posts: 671
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WTF? Since nobody can possibly be entitled to sexual favor , how can it be "withhold"? Favor by definition is something to be earned . The only place one can have sex withhold would be whoreouse - and only after the service has been paid for.
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| Mar 18 @ 6:55 AM |
Withholding sex?? |
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SensualGemini
Posts: 3,052
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Capital: Since nobody can possibly be entitled to sexual favor , how can it be "withhold"?
...If and when sex becomes a favor, I will have already been long gone. 
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...But no, I have never withheld sex, nor had it withheld against myself.
..."We" are partners, lovers, best friends and without a doubt, purposely withholding as a tool of punishment, coercion or selfish gain will manifest a division in the relationship itself, while diminishing what was a total intimacy between two people connected physically, emotionally and spiritually; whereas by given choice, my body is hers and her body is mine.
...Nevertheless, committed and united as one, if you love someone and know they are tired, do not feel well, etc. and as you would not force yourself, but rather pamper and take care of that person for like future reciprocation.
...Anything less and we have chosen the wrong partner.
.
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| Mar 18 @ 8:17 AM |
Withholding sex??
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drs297
Posts: 3,018
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I don't remember seeing anything about withholding sexual favors, in a relationship if you consider it favors your done with, poor way to look at a partner and sharing the sexual moments
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| Mar 18 @ 8:42 AM |
Withholding sex?? |
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blueyes101
Posts: 8,294
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I remember dating ( hell I was living with her and engaged if I remember right ) and she said, " no, lets just wait till your birthday " is was a week or so away........ birthday came, she still said no...  
The relationship didn't last much longer...... Why on earth would I marry someone like that?
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| Mar 18 @ 9:03 AM |
Withholding sex??
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pamdemonium
Posts: 13,930
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It's more that a woman has to be able to be there emotionally....to be able to get there physically. That's not a withholding, it's a non arousal. A can't get there.
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| Mar 18 @ 9:13 AM |
Withholding sex?? |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 14,787
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^^^^^^^^^^^ Thanks Pam, that really is the truth. If we're being treated halfway decently, it would be like cutting off our noses to spite our faces to withhold sex. When I'm treated as a possession or a convenience, I know I turn off entirely. If my guy's not aware enough of what I'm like to know that means something's very wrong, the next thing he hears will most likely be either a mild explosion or a door slamming. Why is it that a suggestion or a hint that he might be better off doing something differently needs to be delivered with a 2 by 4 before it actually sinks in that there's a reason it's being said??????
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