AddThis Social Bookmark Button
Free Dating
search My Threads  

Main    Dating & Sex   

Withholding sex??


Mar 17 @ 8:06 PM Withholding sex??    
blueyes101


Posts: 8,294
Have you ever withheld sex from your husband/wife, or lover?

Or, have you ever had it withheld from you?


How did it make you feel? Trapped, relieved, confused?

I have only had a couple ex gf's who withheld, and the word confused comes to mind first. Pissed comes second..... Frustrated comes third.....
post reply view blueyes101's threads
Mar 17 @ 8:25 PM Withholding sex??    
CathyCRN


Posts: 2,991
Sure!!! WHen my ex would do something really stupid like spend all of our money on a "toy" for himself, I wouldn't want anything to do with him!!! He just didn't get it...couldn't figure out what was wrong with ME!!!

I figured little boys shouldn't be having sex...if he wanted to act like one, I would treat him like one...made me even more upset...right or wrong...it's the past
post reply view CathyCRN's threads
Mar 17 @ 8:33 PM Withholding sex??    
painter007


Posts: 15,853
I have never withheld sex....and would never do it. Im not into power struggles or control. Just not my deal. I think its sad when women do....its wrong. Most men will do whatever his sweetie wants if she is loving with him..If the relationship has gotten to the point where there is a need to control someone, its time to get outside help. jmo
post reply view painter007's threads
Mar 17 @ 9:13 PM Withholding sex??    
Heaveninawildflower


Posts: 14,787
I sure as hell withheld it after I told him that as far as I was concerned we no longer married, no matter whether the paperwork was done or not. Up until that point I tried, but probably should have realized that my normally healthy libido went dead for a reason. When someone makes you feel like a worthless POS, it's time to end the relationship, children or not. It's no longer a marriage, it's....I don't know what to call it, maybe slavery would do.

Truthfully there was nothing planned or manipulative about it, I jumped if he even touched me casually and there was no way he was getting close enough to me for any kind of intimacy. I wanted him out of my life and my kids lives as fast as possible - I refused alimony, didn't even try to enforce child support (and both sons were preschoolers, I both raised and totally supported them). I let him stay in the house until he could make arrangements for somewhere else to live, that was tough enough to deal with.
post reply view Heaveninawildflower's threads
Mar 17 @ 9:20 PM Withholding sex??    
Loreli


Posts: 19,315
Not with held sex, but got frustrated and just went to bed. It wasn't pursued....until later, then all had blown over, and life moved on!
post reply view Loreli's threads
Mar 17 @ 9:34 PM Withholding sex??    
ISSUESWOPTIONS


Posts: 5,981
interesting ......please continue
post reply view ISSUESWOPTIONS' threads
Mar 17 @ 9:36 PM Withholding sex??    
Loreli


Posts: 19,315
Well, it isn't smart to go to bed angry, so you go to bed open to fixing things through love, talk, and (yes) sex.

So being woke up nicely in a couple hours fixes much!
post reply view Loreli's threads
Mar 17 @ 9:52 PM Withholding sex??    
ISSUESWOPTIONS


Posts: 5,981
well, i meant "interesting" on the overall discussion, but you do have a very valid point. i actually weigh what you are saying Loreli, and the discussion topic when choosing a partner. i guess that is the joy of the single life. if she wants to with hold vag, no problem, find another, but the issue comes up when married because women try to take it as a powerbase. what if the guy does not think of it as such? ever think that is where the word "obey" that all women hate, came from in the ceremonie?
post reply view ISSUESWOPTIONS' threads
Mar 17 @ 10:09 PM Withholding sex??    
I12B810


Posts: 141
Withholding sex is not in my book. Gotta have is more like it!
post reply view I12B810's threads
Mar 17 @ 10:41 PM Withholding sex??    
drs297


Posts: 3,018
everyday its withheld. damn women with morals
post reply view drs297's threads
Mar 17 @ 10:43 PM Withholding sex??    
Loreli


Posts: 19,315
awwww, c'mere drs...I can be bent or bribed....
post reply view Loreli's threads
Mar 17 @ 10:52 PM Withholding sex??    
drs297


Posts: 3,018
bent sounds good.. now lean forward
post reply view drs297's threads
Mar 17 @ 10:54 PM Withholding sex??    
Loreli


Posts: 19,315
fold, spin and mutilate.....
post reply view Loreli's threads
Mar 17 @ 10:56 PM Withholding sex??    
drs297


Posts: 3,018
sit, spin, bounce, bow, pull, jerk
post reply view drs297's threads
Mar 17 @ 11:06 PM Withholding sex??    
capitalview


Posts: 671
WTF? Since nobody can possibly be entitled to sexual favor , how can it be "withhold"? Favor by definition is something to be earned . The only place one can have sex withhold would be whoreouse - and only after the service has been paid for.
post reply view capitalview's threads
Mar 18 @ 6:55 AM Withholding sex??    
SensualGemini


Posts: 3,052

Capital: Since nobody can possibly be entitled to sexual favor , how can it be "withhold"?

...If and when sex becomes a favor, I will have already been long gone.

===============

...But no, I have never withheld sex, nor had it withheld against myself.

..."We" are partners, lovers, best friends and without a doubt, purposely withholding as a tool of punishment, coercion or selfish gain will manifest a division in the relationship itself, while diminishing what was a total intimacy between two people connected physically, emotionally and spiritually; whereas by given choice, my body is hers and her body is mine.

...Nevertheless, committed and united as one, if you love someone and know they are tired, do not feel well, etc. and as you would not force yourself, but rather pamper and take care of that person for like future reciprocation.

...Anything less and we have chosen the wrong partner.

.
post reply view SensualGemini's threads
Mar 18 @ 8:17 AM Withholding sex??    
drs297


Posts: 3,018
I don't remember seeing anything about withholding sexual favors, in a relationship if you consider it favors your done with, poor way to look at a partner and sharing the sexual moments
post reply view drs297's threads
Mar 18 @ 8:42 AM Withholding sex??    
blueyes101


Posts: 8,294
I remember dating ( hell I was living with her and engaged if I remember right ) and she said, " no, lets just wait till your birthday " is was a week or so away........ birthday came, she still said no...

The relationship didn't last much longer...... Why on earth would I marry someone like that?
post reply view blueyes101's threads
Mar 18 @ 9:03 AM Withholding sex??    
pamdemonium


Posts: 13,930
It's more that a woman has to be able to be there emotionally....to be able to get there physically. That's not a withholding, it's a non arousal. A can't get there.
post reply view pamdemonium's threads
Mar 18 @ 9:13 AM Withholding sex??    
Heaveninawildflower


Posts: 14,787
^^^^^^^^^^^ Thanks Pam, that really is the truth. If we're being treated halfway decently, it would be like cutting off our noses to spite our faces to withhold sex. When I'm treated as a possession or a convenience, I know I turn off entirely. If my guy's not aware enough of what I'm like to know that means something's very wrong, the next thing he hears will most likely be either a mild explosion or a door slamming. Why is it that a suggestion or a hint that he might be better off doing something differently needs to be delivered with a 2 by 4 before it actually sinks in that there's a reason it's being said??????



post reply view Heaveninawildflower's threads
Main    Dating & Sex    Withholding sex??

free adult dating | mission statement | testimonials | safety warning | report abuse | safe list | privacy | legal | advertise | link to us

© Copyright 2000-2008 Online Singles, LLC.
WEB2