| Mar 18 @ 9:49 PM |
Withholding sex??
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painter007
Posts: 15,990
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It really is amazing how many do ignore what someone brings to their life. Maybe its because I have gotten older but some of the things which were important years ago just dont seem to be that important. Most of us just want to be felt cared about. What you give out to another, you get back.,
Good post parrot 
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| Mar 18 @ 10:01 PM |
Withholding sex?? |
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Silvertongue62
Posts: 6,932
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Now this post is a perfect example that you women should no longer with hold sex from me. Now line up over there.
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| Mar 18 @ 10:19 PM |
Withholding sex??
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burnslikethesun
Posts: 9,609
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Pssst Silver. Lines aint always good. You get stuck with whats next. And theres some women I wouldnt touch with somebody elses pecker. Lets pick! Like team captains and this is 3rd grade kickball. 
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| Mar 18 @ 10:20 PM |
Withholding sex?? |
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parrothead1234
Posts: 481
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Good post parrot
Thank you painty sweetie - from you - I take that as high praise indeed.
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| Mar 18 @ 10:22 PM |
Withholding sex??
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Silvertongue62
Posts: 6,932
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Pssst Silver. Lines aint always good. You get stuck with whats next. And theres some women I wouldnt touch with somebody elses pecker. Lets pick! Like team captains and this is 3rd grade kickball.
I think you're right! We would want things fallin off now do we?
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| Mar 18 @ 11:23 PM |
Withholding sex?? |
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willowy1
Posts: 4,937
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and there are some peckers I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole..I said pecker and pole 
Oh and I was always called last for dodge ball  Pretty good at hacky sack though!
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| Mar 19 @ 3:47 PM |
Withholding sex??
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painter007
Posts: 15,990
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Thank you Parrot.
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| Mar 19 @ 8:51 PM |
Withholding sex?? |
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capitalview
Posts: 675
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SensualGemini
Capital: Since nobody can possibly be entitled to sexual favor , how can it be "withhold"?
...If and when sex becomes a favor, I will have already been long gone.
Demanding that someone's body would be used to satisfy your need without you offering anything in return ,would be, by definition , demanding a favor.
Sex is two-way street, you cannot expect your needs to be satisfied unless you take care of your partner's needs.
Women don't have ejaculation need ,emotional need for love is their reason for interpersonal contacts. Therefore,the guy who satisfies woman's emotional need ,makes her feel loved , will always have his ejacualtion need taken care of . As for those guys who for some reason assume that they are somehow "entitled" to having their needs satisfied , so no reciprocation is needed, those are more likely to spend their lives in monogamous relationship with their own fist . 
[Edited on 3/19/2008 9:07 PM]
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| Mar 20 @ 1:24 AM |
Withholding sex??
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blueyes101
Posts: 8,307
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Wow, it is amazing how we interpret things differently.
The question was about withholding sex.
And that got turned around to demanding sex.
My point was mostly, " not now I don't feel like it right this minute " Could/should be more of a " well at first I wasn't in the mood, but once we got started, it really does feel good, and I'm glad I did it for them/us. "
But, some do it for selfish reasons, others for power.
If there is a reason for it, don't you think we deserve to hear the reason?
Or is it like giving them the finger as soon as they leave the room?
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| Mar 20 @ 6:13 AM |
Withholding sex?? |
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Nightowl001
Posts: 4,139
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My point was mostly, " not now I don't feel like it right this minute " Could/should be more of a " well at first I wasn't in the mood, but once we got started, it really does feel good, and I'm glad I did it for them/us. "
Yet one more jerk proves he thinks "No" (or "Not now") means "Let's negotiate."
Obviously, from most of the comments, most people view "withholding" sex as a willful act to deliberately deny giving the other person any pleasure (something all too many men manage to achieve accidentally anyway). "I don't feel like it," should lead to "Is something wrong?" Not "Why not?" And if the answer is "No, nothing's wrong, I just don't feel like it right this minute," the proper response is to slip your arms around her waist, nuzzle her neck for a second, and murmur in her ear, "Okay, sweetie. You'll be sure to let me know when that changes, right?" And in a more conversational tone, you then ask, "And what would you like to do in the meantime?"
I can't address this from a male point of view, because I've only once been in a situation where I wasn't willing to please a partner that I was willing to any other time (except apparently when I was sleeping and wasn't actually awake when giving responses I was told about later). Though I will admit to that one occasion where I did deliberately withhold sex. I have deliberately rejected advances from potential partners. That's not withholding sex, and that's all I'm going to say about that.
[Edited on 3/20/2008 6:21 AM]
[Edited on 3/20/2008 6:22 AM]
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| Mar 20 @ 7:03 AM |
Withholding sex??
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blueyes101
Posts: 8,307
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Sometimes we are so caught up in life's daily events we don't " feel like it ", but I still stand by the fact once you start, it doesn't take long before you change your mind.  ( and if you don't, perhaps they ain't doin it right )
If we sat back and only did things because we felt like it, nothing would ever get done.
Sometimes it take someone else to " pop " you out of a bad mood, whether it be by laughter, or some.....  .
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| Mar 20 @ 12:45 PM |
Withholding sex?? |
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Nightowl001
Posts: 4,139
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I still stand by the fact once you start, it doesn't take long before you change your mind...
I stand by my original assessment: Yet one more jerk proves he thinks "No" (or "Not now") means "Let's negotiate."
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| Mar 20 @ 2:52 PM |
Withholding sex??
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pamdemonium
Posts: 14,546
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Sometimes we are so caught up in life's daily events we don't " feel like it ", but I still stand by the fact once you start, it doesn't take long before you change your mind. ( and if you don't, perhaps they ain't doin it right )
If we sat back and only did things because we felt like it, nothing would ever get done.
Sometimes it take someone else to " pop " you out of a bad mood, whether it be by laughter, or some.....
Marry me.... 
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| Mar 21 @ 3:10 AM |
Withholding sex?? |
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Nightowl001
Posts: 4,139
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You know, the little exchange above bothered me so much I couldn't get to sleep tonight. Please, blueeyes, marry pam. Then the rest of us males will have one less insecure gameplayer to deal with, who will bitch to her girlfriends "Can you believe it? I said no, and he just dropped it?!? Must not have wanted me very much!" And you will have her documented approval of your refusal to hear "no" or "not right now" as a defense in your date rape trial.
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| Mar 21 @ 3:17 AM |
Withholding sex??
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SyndilLucian
Posts: 1,046
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Not exactly withholding sex, just saying no to a particularly painful method he wanted to use, and when I said, no, stop, his response was:
"You know you like it" and continuation of the painful method.
I moved out the next day, and was divorced a year and a half later...
And I will never look back..
NO, means no, means no.. not let's negotiate, or you are right, no matter what I say... period. If you don't accept that, it's rape, and I would be pressing charges the next morning.
Nuff said.
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| Mar 21 @ 9:50 AM |
Withholding sex?? |
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pamdemonium
Posts: 14,546
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You know, the little exchange above bothered me so much I couldn't get to sleep tonight. Please, blueeyes, marry pam. Then the rest of us males will have one less insecure gameplayer to deal with, who will bitch to her girlfriends "Can you believe it? I said no, and he just dropped it?!? Must not have wanted me very much!" And you will have her documented approval of your refusal to hear "no" or "not right now" as a defense in your date rape trial.
It was said tongue in cheek- - joking. Are you really that big a prick? 
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| Mar 21 @ 10:55 AM |
Withholding sex??
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Nightowl001
Posts: 4,139
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Taken on its face, Pam, there was nothing to indicate that you were joking. It appeared that you were okay with the idea that a guy shouldn't take no for an answer when a lady says it, but should go ahead and start, so she "gets into it." Now you say it was tongue in cheek, without any indication that was how it was intended. Under which set of circumstances are we supposed to read your mind?
Sexual coercion is not a matter to joke about. When it comes to men using ANY kind of coercion on women, or women appearing to encourage them to do so because "she really wants it anyway, she just needs convincing," yes, I am that big a prick.
I'll make a deal. I'll apologize for misunderstanding and reacting strongly, if you apologize for not making yourself clear.
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| Mar 21 @ 11:10 AM |
Withholding sex?? |
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pamdemonium
Posts: 14,546
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marry me, Nightowl....
Kidding....KIDDING!!!
I know blue as a friend. We joke around sometimes. I never meant for my post to mean that when a woman says no she means yes. In fact, if you read back, you'll see that what I originally said was, if a woman can't be there emotionally, she can't be there physically.
Life's too short to be so serious.
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| Mar 21 @ 11:17 AM |
Withholding sex??
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Nightowl001
Posts: 4,139
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Well, I am truly sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings. As I indicated, this particular subject is one I feel rather strongly about and the appearance that this type of behavior was acceptable really bothers me. I plead guilty to overreacting.
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| Mar 21 @ 11:31 AM |
Withholding sex?? |
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pamdemonium
Posts: 14,546
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I plead guilty to not including a  .
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