| Mar 21 @ 1:58 PM |
Withholding sex??
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JesterDrawers
Posts: 10,902
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That's okay, Pam....I knew you were kidding....and I'm pretty sure everyone ELSE knew as well!  
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| Mar 21 @ 2:28 PM |
Withholding sex?? |
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pamdemonium
Posts: 14,546
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Will you marry me, too, Jester?
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| Mar 21 @ 7:29 PM |
Withholding sex??
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JesterDrawers
Posts: 10,902
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I would LOVE to, Pammie!!!! Just tell me when and where!
There - that was easy, wasn't it? You didn't think I'd agree to it that quickly, did you?
Isn't that bigamy???? 
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| Mar 21 @ 7:46 PM |
Withholding sex?? |
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michedkel
Posts: 4,685
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If my hand refuses to stroke myself is that withholding Sex? Inquiring minds want to know.
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| Mar 21 @ 8:14 PM |
Withholding sex??
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newfie6750
Posts: 1,882
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You have to lick the finger tips that will help 
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| Mar 21 @ 8:38 PM |
Withholding sex?? |
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michedkel
Posts: 4,685
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LOL, usually I slap my hand and say bad hand. Bad hand. Does that qualify as abuse?
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| Mar 21 @ 8:40 PM |
Withholding sex??
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JesterDrawers
Posts: 10,902
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No, that qualifies as kinky.......REALLY kinky!!!  
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| Mar 21 @ 8:41 PM |
Withholding sex?? |
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LittleMsDangerous
Posts: 11,147
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| Mar 21 @ 8:42 PM |
Withholding sex??
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JesterDrawers
Posts: 10,902
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You're doing an absolutely PERFECT impression of LMD tonight! 
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| Mar 21 @ 8:43 PM |
Withholding sex?? |
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LittleMsDangerous
Posts: 11,147
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| Mar 21 @ 8:44 PM |
Withholding sex??
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michedkel
Posts: 4,685
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Sometimes the spirit is willing, but the hand is weak.... I tell you that shifting gears 1000's of times a day can create callouses. That means my lover is calloused. Am I off topic here? 
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| Mar 21 @ 8:46 PM |
Withholding sex?? |
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Snappygoddess
Posts: 3,818
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I value sex too much to use it as a weapon to either get what I want or get out of something I dont want to do. If I am not in the mood(which is rare  , I am honest about it so he doesnt think it is anything he has or has not done.
We dont use sex as a makeup tool or a punishment either. If we have a disagreement, we will certainly talk about it,resolve it and then oftentimes hug and kiss and apologise..but I can honestly say we have never had "make-up" sex. To us, its more about making love and not just sex, although there are times when raw, fast sex can be very satisfying also 
Withholding sex implies entitlement to each others body...and no one is entitled to anything unless its a two way agreement
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| Mar 21 @ 8:46 PM |
Withholding sex??
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JesterDrawers
Posts: 10,902
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Am I off topic here?
Not in your world, no.......
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| Mar 21 @ 8:54 PM |
Withholding sex?? |
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michedkel
Posts: 4,685
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Thanks, JD.... God, I'm in a great mood tonight. Off for the weekend and all I can say is that I will not be withholding sex tonight.
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| Mar 22 @ 3:04 PM |
Withholding sex??
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blueyes101
Posts: 8,307
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Wow, I'm glad I missed all that...
I never intended my comments to mean take it anyways, even if she said no....
If your S.O. asks you to change her oil, and you say, not right now, I don't feel like it, it doesn't mean she can smack you upside your head with some wrenches..
But, if she walks up behind you, wraps her arms around you, kisses you, and whispers in you ear, if make sure it is done " as soon as possible ", she just might get her oil changed. By her telling him it was important, but not in a bitchy way, they both can get what they wanted, without a fight involved.
If she says no, try to get her Brain to change it's mind......... Meaning a little more foreplay is needed.
Soft kisses to the back of her neck, rubbing her shoulders, showing her you will make it worth her while, can go along way ........... Will it work all the time? NOPE !!!!! But it definitely won't work if you don't try.
Sex may not always be on our mind,( in an older relationship ) so sometimes we have to remind each other how much fun it is, and how much we miss it.
( how this can keep anyone awake all night and turn it into rape is beyond me....... But thanks for those who understand me, and realize my intentions with my post. )
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| Mar 22 @ 3:26 PM |
Withholding sex?? |
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Loreli
Posts: 20,311
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I understood ya, Blu 
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| Mar 22 @ 3:28 PM |
Withholding sex??
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blueyes101
Posts: 8,307
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Thank ya........ 
And Happy Easter to you too.....
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| Mar 22 @ 10:43 PM |
Withholding sex?? |
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SpiritEnergy
Posts: 16,997
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Snappy said:
I value sex too much to use it as a weapon to either get what I want or get out of something I dont want to do. If I am not in the mood(which is rare , I am honest about it so he doesnt think it is anything he has or has not done.
We dont use sex as a makeup tool or a punishment either. If we have a disagreement, we will certainly talk about it,resolve it and then oftentimes hug and kiss and apologise..but I can honestly say we have never had "make-up" sex. To us, its more about making love and not just sex, although there are times when raw, fast sex can be very satisfying also
Withholding sex implies entitlement to each others body...and no one is entitled to anything unless its a two way agreement
 There ya go, Snappy!
I do not reward bad behaviour. If someone is abusive, I will BE damned if I have sex. I don't for one second call that withholding sex. If any of YOU do, I may rip your face off. I have been in abusive situations. Never again. If a man treats me ugly no way in HELL can I get aroused enough to have sex.
Now, if I am not horney and all is right with the world and my SO understands what a quicky is, I will indulge him. I have no problem with that. Hey, if I refuse him without a good reason, he may do the same to me. 
Now, if I am tired and want to sleep. NO. The reason? If I need sleep, sex will wake me up. Then I can't get back to sleep. And he is sleeping afterwards while I am wide awake? I don't think so. It is too hard for me to get to sleep. Now, IF he were to rub the small of my back til I fall asleep, HELL yeah, I will give him a good night lovin even when I am tired. I have yet to find someone that would do that tho. 
NightOwl said:
Obviously, from most of the comments, most people view "withholding" sex as a willful act to deliberately deny giving the other person any pleasure (something all too many men manage to achieve accidentally anyway). "I don't feel like it," should lead to "Is something wrong?" Not "Why not?" And if the answer is "No, nothing's wrong, I just don't feel like it right this minute," the proper response is to slip your arms around her waist, nuzzle her neck for a second, and murmur in her ear, "Okay, sweetie. You'll be sure to let me know when that changes, right?" And in a more conversational tone, you then ask, "And what would you like to do in the meantime?"
Works for me!
CapitalView said:
Demanding that someone's body would be used to satisfy your need without you offering anything in return ,would be, by definition , demanding a favor.
Sex is two-way street, you cannot expect your needs to be satisfied unless you take care of your partner's needs.
Women don't have ejaculation need ,emotional need for love is their reason for interpersonal contacts. Therefore,the guy who satisfies woman's emotional need ,makes her feel loved , will always have his ejacualtion need taken care of . As for those guys who for some reason assume that they are somehow "entitled" to having their needs satisfied , so no reciprocation is needed, those are more likely to spend their lives in monogamous relationship with their own fist .
 I have to add, SOME women have sexual needs like men's needs. So, please make a note of that!
[Edited on 3/22/2008 10:50 PM]
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| Mar 23 @ 12:47 PM |
Withholding sex??
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lacyvsq
Posts: 4,306
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Phrases/expressions like
Withholding sex
showing her you will make it worth her while Demanding that someone's body would be used to satisfy your need without you offering anything in return
all are expressions of sex as a commodity or a medium of exchange. I would guess that if your relationship is spelled out in those terms -- explicitly or implicitly (you bought me dinner, so I owe you sex) -- and both people in your relationship understand the agreement, then no one should complain about a negotiation or renegotiation -- though enforcement of unacceptable terms certainly sounds to me like rape.
On the other hand, if sex is a gift and its offer is not contingent on acceptance or exchange or whatever...then there is no need to feel rejection or sense of withholding or need to negotiate. Rather than an exchange of needs, sex can be an exchange of gifts -- You have presented me with flowers, let me present you with a vase in which to put them -- so that we might both enjoy the beauty and fragrance.
So, i have allowed some gifts to go unopened, but withheld sex? In my mind it is not a commodity.
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| Mar 23 @ 3:27 PM |
Withholding sex?? |
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DwainP50
Posts: 5,009
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Dang just to have so much sex to be able to even want to withheld it! Just boggles the mind!
(SpiritEnergy I am willing to rub the small of your back as long as you would like it sweetheart!! )
[Edited on 3/23/2008 3:33 PM]
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