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| Mar 31 @ 8:49 AM |
When she is ready for sex.
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blueyes101
Posts: 8,230
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So, a guy asks for your number, calls, asks you out, it goes great, you agree to go out again. The second is even better, what a nice guy, a perfect gentlemen, not even attempting a kiss at the end. At first you are relieved, I mean it will all come naturally right? Why rush it?
You date, again, and again, and again, ( insert amount of times here ) everything is going great, you are really falling for this guy. This whole relationship is based on friendship, with no sex involved. But, as relieved as you are, now it starts to bug you, why won't he kiss me? When you ask, he says he is just not ready, but really doesn't want to talk about it. Perhaps it was the bad divorce? Maybe it is his children? Maybe he is impotent? Maybe he is gay?
At what point is sex important? Or does it not matter?
How much time and effort do you put into this, you are turning down dates with other guys, because you feel you are in a exclusive relationship, but yet, you feel kinda empty because it seems like you are only in a partial relationship. Missing out on a very important part.
Then you find out, as much as he cares for you, he thinks of you as only a friend, and nothing more. Do you feel cheated? Used? Do you feel as if you time has been wasted?
Was he wrong to lead you on for so long? Was the writing on the wall long ago, and he just never bothered to fill you in?
I turned this around, to put the shoe on the other foot. Dating is hard, and lack of communication makes it even harder.
Putting time and effort into something only to find your feelings are only one sided, makes dating the next time even harder.
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| Mar 31 @ 9:00 AM |
When she is ready for sex. |
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burnslikethesun
Posts: 8,548
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Spill over from the decent man huh?
Nice try you just took the her and switched it with the him.
BEating a dead horse.
When she decides shes ready not when you feel you desire it coming to you.
If you cant wait, well what that telling ya?
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| Mar 31 @ 9:02 AM |
When she is ready for sex.
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burnslikethesun
Posts: 8,548
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I guess it depends on what they are seeking
Something long or just f***ing.
if they are looking for just f***ing Ill be sure to send them your way, Im not interested. 
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| Mar 31 @ 9:52 AM |
When she is ready for sex. |
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Loreli
Posts: 19,231
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At the point he knew it was just friends, is when he should tell her.
At the point she started wondering where it was going, she should ask. Then she can choose to either continue dating as friends, if she is enjoying herself, but start REAL dating other men also.
Or let him go.
Sex is important to me when I really truly believe we have something long term-maybe for life. It just isn't worth it health or emotions-wise.
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| Mar 31 @ 11:14 AM |
When she is ready for sex.
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 6,271
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and to the peanut gallery...this is exactly my point.. first post was..
Spill over from the decent man huh?
Nice try you just took the her and switched it with the him.
BEating a dead horse.
When she decides shes ready not when you feel you desire it coming to you.
If you cant wait, well what that telling ya?
2nd post to cover his ass (after thinking about it for about a minute..).. was.
( where I come from.. this is called talking out of your ass while being two faced...)
I guess it depends on what they are seeking
Something long or just f***ing.
if they are looking for just f***ing Ill be sure to send them your way, Im not interested.
will the real burns please step up to the plate and post...
Blue..I saw something like that ( your tv program..) but I don't remember it being on court tv.. but if I remember right...the judge dissmissed the suit.. 
bottom line is..if one party is paying all the bills with the expectation of "great expectations..." they are SOL ..but if you include "a lie" when asking "if the dating relationship is going somewhere.." and the responce is indicating that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.. the person is just a player..
in this regard..your 3 dates and then just friends or not..was right on..
sex after three dates was never your point...your point was..after 3 dates.. the relationship should be defined .. as either a love interest.. or just friends...
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| Mar 31 @ 11:46 AM |
When she is ready for sex. |
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beckyiv42000
Posts: 11,680
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How much time and effort do you put into this, you are turning down dates with other guys, because you feel you are in a exclusive relationship, but yet, you feel kinda empty because it seems like you are only in a partial relationship. Missing out on a very important part.
this part is so very true .. think about it you think you are in a RELATIONSHIP that will eventually lead to marriage or the equivalent INCLUDING sex.. and all along that was not the persons intent.. in fact they dont ever want to get married or have the kids you want so now being a woman with a biological clock ticking away you have passed by others who might have been THE match for you while having this person pretend to want what you want .. so not cool 
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| Mar 31 @ 11:56 AM |
When she is ready for sex.
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Jalon
Posts: 765
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being a woman with a biological clock ticking away you have passed by others who might have been THE match for you while having this person pretend to want what you want .. so not cool
This just happened to me this year!
I agree with Loreli in that when either person knows it's "just friends" it should be voiced. If you really do care for them, then you wouldn't waste their time.
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| Mar 31 @ 2:34 PM |
When she is ready for sex. |
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Bluebonnet72
Posts: 2,732
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Do you feel cheated? Used? Do you feel as if you time has been wasted? No I do not
Knowing someone is never a waste of time......because you do not know how the story could envolve
To know someone deeply you need time and go out many times.....more than 3 or 4
When we are not in front of love at first sight, the first step is friendship
Sometimes friendship can change in love and other time it remains friendship....in this case you have an extra friend......
in the other case you have found your love 
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| Mar 31 @ 2:45 PM |
When she is ready for sex.
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DJ1024
Posts: 147
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if he doesn't kiss me on the first date or the second then i know he's not interested, gentleman my ass, lol. and i wouldn't consider it a relationship unless we were having sex. you never know when someone comes into your life if it's a friendship or a romance but don't play games.
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| Mar 31 @ 3:19 PM |
When she is ready for sex. |
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DiamondRain
Posts: 4,516
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The problem is that all relationships go through phases.
Just because you feel a certain way about someone today, doesn’t mean you won’t feel differently tomorrow. Ask anybody who ever wanted a divorce if this is true or not.
On a less dramatic scale than divorce comes the ups and downs in feelings when you meet someone new.
Maybe at first you are infatuated. Then you get to know them a little better and have some reservations. But you are still attracted and not sure where your feelings are going.
And if you are in the above scenario, and you jump in bed with the person, it makes it much more confusing and complicated still. Maybe the sex is great, but your other feelings for that person aren’t. Or maybe the sex sucks (so to speak  ), but you still feel an emotional attraction. What do you tell them?
The point is that it is almost never black and white. And even when it seems to be, that can change over time -- sometimes not a very long time either.
I think that expecting someone to “declare” their intentions is an exercise in futility at almost any point in a relationship let alone as early as the dating process. Doing so is more likely to be MISleading -- either creating a false sense of hope or a premature sense of no hope -- than lead to any kind of real insight as to the future of the relationship.
Relationships evolve, sometimes it’s for the good, sometimes not. They are meant to be enjoyed while you can enjoy them, not to be defined by some kind of rigid ephemeral categories.
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| Mar 31 @ 3:36 PM |
When she is ready for sex.
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Mischief484
Posts: 643
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I solved this problem a long time ago.
Every date--whether it is the 1st or 31st--absolutely must begin with a kiss.
A good one, too. No harmless little pecks or MUAH's.
It's a deal breaker, too.
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| Mar 31 @ 3:39 PM |
When she is ready for sex. |
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DiamondRain
Posts: 4,516
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Not a bad strategy, I have been dealing with just that particular issue myself in a current situation!
Thanks for the tip Mischief!
No kiss, the date‘s over.
I like it! 
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| Mar 31 @ 5:35 PM |
When she is ready for sex.
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 9,909
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Wow, you two wouldn't even last on a date with me XD I never kiss on the first date. Rolf and I waited awhile to kiss, actually.
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| Mar 31 @ 5:47 PM |
When she is ready for sex. |
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Mischief484
Posts: 643
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Queen, I wouldn't make a date with you if you didn't agree to my First Kiss rule.
Like I said--it's a deal breaker.
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| Mar 31 @ 5:49 PM |
When she is ready for sex.
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 9,909
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I don't understand that. Is it to determine if she's a good kisser?
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| Mar 31 @ 5:55 PM |
When she is ready for sex. |
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Mischief484
Posts: 643
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Yes. And to let her see if I'm a good kisser (I am).
It's also to see if she has a sense of adventure and is willing to take a small risk.
I have had several women refuse, and that's Ok. Some just don't want to open up like that right way.
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| Mar 31 @ 5:56 PM |
When she is ready for sex.
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pamdemonium
Posts: 13,890
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And to let her see if I'm a good kisser (I am).
Of course you're gonna say that...you're online. Who is to challenge that remark? 
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| Mar 31 @ 5:58 PM |
When she is ready for sex. |
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Mischief484
Posts: 643
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Welcome back. 
I'm not saying that because I'm online. I'm saying it because it's true!
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| Mar 31 @ 6:01 PM |
When she is ready for sex.
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 9,909
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It's okay, I am too...or so I've been told.
Just not on the first date!!!! ^-^
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| Mar 31 @ 6:04 PM |
When she is ready for sex. |
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pamdemonium
Posts: 13,890
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Welcome back.
TY
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of 2 pages
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< previous page | next page >
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