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| Jul 30, 2008 @ 11:09 AM |
Many complain about lack of sex in a relationship. Why?
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SpiritOrnery
Posts: 24,150
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Share your reasons for loss of your sex drive during your previous relationships.
And why is it when I hear so many men/women constantly complaining how their wives/husbands never gave them any or very little sex?
I always had a high sex drive yet I had a boyfriend that would deliberately pick fights over insignificant things and then he would get so mad when I was not horny after fighting with him. I discussed this with him and he never would seem to get that it was what he did and said that made the sex go from daily to every two or three days.
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| Jul 30, 2008 @ 12:14 PM |
Many complain about lack of sex in a relationship. Why? |
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signme
Posts: 12,586
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I've had a low sex drive for many years. I think it has to do with the meds I take. But I did learn a few tricks at that seminar I went to a few weeks ago. Now if I just had someone to try them out on! LOL
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| Jul 30, 2008 @ 12:30 PM |
Many complain about lack of sex in a relationship. Why?
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custis
Posts: 1,890
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There are many reasons, but in a lot of cases it is pure laziness. It is interesting that this thread popped up here. Just this week a guy at work sued his wife for divorce and left her. He said he got sick and tired of only getting sex once a month. A couple of years ago I worked side by side with a young woman who freely admitted that she had a boyfriend at work because her husband was totally uninterested in sex with her. I myself was lucky to get it once in a week or two when I was married.
The main theme here seems to be people taking one another for granted. Once you do that your relationship is on troubled ground and probably will not last.
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| Jul 30, 2008 @ 12:37 PM |
Many complain about lack of sex in a relationship. Why? |
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SpiritOrnery
Posts: 24,150
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Well, fighting and some crude, gross language can be a sexual turnoff for me. Some women love it but many do not and become apathetic and lethargic after a fight and stay that way for hours or days. I really think honesty, respect and communication is the key to my high sex drive in a relationship.
I have to admit that many of the men in here sharing their thoughts in the forums really is a turn on to me. Communication and HONEST communication is SOOO sexy. Many people can tell when the communication is not honest too.
I mean, after all, if you say one thing and say another in direct contradiction... Or especially do something in direct contradiction...well, actions DO speak louder and longer than words. And many have long memories. Walk the talk.
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| Jul 30, 2008 @ 2:47 PM |
Many complain about lack of sex in a relationship. Why?
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SaintBacon
Posts: 2,130
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Sometimes there are medical or physical reasons for lack of sex...but there should never be a lack of intimacy between two people who love each other. I've know men who complain about their wives infrequent urges...and women who have the same problem. Keeping things fresh and new can be harder the longer two people are together. It's great to know what turns each other on....but relying on the same old moves time after time can make sex pretty static. I think it comes down to both partners wanting each other enough to communicate honestly about what they want, what may be missing from their sex life, and how they can both contribute to making it a mutually enjoyable experience again. If you truly love each other, there are ways of renewing that passion that you used to have in the early phases of your union.
One other thought. Sex without an emotional connection is just sex. When you love someone, then it becomes "making love" and it is two completely different feelings with corresponding rewards.
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| Jul 30, 2008 @ 2:56 PM |
Many complain about lack of sex in a relationship. Why? |
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Skydognc
Posts: 4,017
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my wife was a mean nasty bitch!
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| Jul 30, 2008 @ 3:00 PM |
Many complain about lack of sex in a relationship. Why?
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kattsmeow
Posts: 22,628
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Well I know for a fact that most womens sexual peak is during the day light hours, and men, heck any time is ok for them.
To wait for sex till the time you go to bed at night is not the best time. One of them is going to be either too tired or they are just not in the mood.
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| Jul 30, 2008 @ 3:11 PM |
Many complain about lack of sex in a relationship. Why? |
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tahoma
Posts: 10,576
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The main theme here seems to be people taking one another for granted. Once you do that your relationship is on troubled ground and probably will not last.
I get that totally... I used to walk into the bedroom at night with my ex-hubby all sprawled out like he expected it... SUCH a turn off
I do my best to keep my own passions in check with my new Love so he knows my Love is for him, not just that hot body he walks around in... and that I don't take for granted the little things he does for me... which makes our lovemaking just that! LOVEMAKING! 
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| Jul 30, 2008 @ 3:31 PM |
Many complain about lack of sex in a relationship. Why?
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pamdemonium
Posts: 17,347
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If I can't feel an emotional connection, the physical isn't going to happen.
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| Jul 30, 2008 @ 3:43 PM |
Many complain about lack of sex in a relationship. Why? |
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Snappygoddess
Posts: 5,100
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In some cases the one complaining is the one who has given up on taking care of themselves, therefore losing their sex drive, but it's easier to blame their partner because they are in denial about their shortcomings. 
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| Jul 30, 2008 @ 3:49 PM |
Many complain about lack of sex in a relationship. Why?
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willowy1
Posts: 9,192
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I never lost desire for my husband. There were times over the years when the sex was just not as exciting. But we always found new ways to spice up the fun.
imo~ Your sex life is a indicator of the condition of your relationship.
Take note men!!
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| Jul 30, 2008 @ 3:54 PM |
Many complain about lack of sex in a relationship. Why? |
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pamdemonium
Posts: 17,347
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imo~ Your sex life is a indicator of the condition of your relationship.
How true is that? There are times you can want it so bad you can taste it...but if he's not good to you in other ways, you can go without.
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| Jul 30, 2008 @ 4:14 PM |
Many complain about lack of sex in a relationship. Why?
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tahoma
Posts: 10,576
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 Pammy!!!!! Little things my Love does... like showing up at my new place just when I was driving up, knowing my anxiety and just being there for me
And finding a pretty table lamp on sale at Lowe's for $2.50 knowing that I have no light in my closet and thinking about me trying to find something to wear in the dark 
Sex is the bonus... not the driving force in our relationship
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| Jul 30, 2008 @ 4:17 PM |
Many complain about lack of sex in a relationship. Why? |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 18,606
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There are times you can want it so bad you can taste it...but if he's not good to you in other ways, you can go without.
Different strokes...if I feel disrespected, there's no way I want it. If we're arguing, we need to resolve it first. The up side of that though, is that resolving it makes the sex even better because the relationship's stronger than it was before.
But that's just this woman's experience. YMMV of course!
p.s. sometimes I wonder if he does dumb stuff occasionally just because he understands the above... 
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| Jul 30, 2008 @ 5:37 PM |
Many complain about lack of sex in a relationship. Why?
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bnice2me2
Posts: 5
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Your sex life is a indicator of the condition of your relationship Right on. If the love making is lacking, it's time to stir things up and find a way to put some fire back in it. 
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| Jul 30, 2008 @ 5:39 PM |
Many complain about lack of sex in a relationship. Why? |
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burnslikethesun
Posts: 13,027
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Only complaint I ever hear is more, followed by a please.
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| Jul 30, 2008 @ 8:56 PM |
Many complain about lack of sex in a relationship. Why?
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marylou
Posts: 10,729
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.....maybe many women are with jerks.........hence....loss of urge....or even wanting to perform. JMO
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| Jul 30, 2008 @ 9:13 PM |
Many complain about lack of sex in a relationship. Why? |
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SpiritOrnery
Posts: 24,150
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if I feel disrespected, there's no way I want it.
Yeah...out the window...
One man I was with we made love in the middle of the day in the sun shining thru the windows. After we were together awhile, my step father passed and Mom gave me the beach house. I wanted to move because I hated it there and he told me if I got rid of the beach house, the relationship was over.
Like a damn fool, I kept the beach house and the man.  Anyway, the house was SO tiny, I borrowed on the house to add on. After paying off some debts, I found I did not have enough left to do the add on so I invested in things to make to sell, thinking since I was so good at selling my jewelry, I could do well.
He started fighting every time I would get ready to go to a fair and I eventually lost the desire to do ANY traveling because of the big fights we had EVERYTIME we were going anywhere. So the house got crowded. He decided to take a nap everyday right about the time we USED to have sex every day. Well DUH! Whose fault was it we no longer had daily sex?
Mine? I did every thing I could to please him and he fought with me when I didn't give him sex AFTER he woke up. I lost my urges WAITING on him and having to be quiet so as not to wake him up. (he was a BITCH if you woke him up from a nap) THAT is when I developed the addiction to computers. It was the only thing quiet to do in the tiny place.
THAT piece of ass cost me $50K.
So, why the fk do men complain they do not get enough sex when THEY screw it up? Men need to look at how they sabotage great sexual relationships by the way they treat women. Next man I hear complain about how little sex she gave him may get his head ripped off. I already figured it out. Was NOT the woman's fault alone. I have already experienced it many times in men disrespecting women and screwing up their sex.
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| Jul 30, 2008 @ 9:16 PM |
Many complain about lack of sex in a relationship. Why?
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LaughTillYaPuke
Posts: 1,821
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Because it is 8 hours away?  
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| Jul 30, 2008 @ 9:22 PM |
Many complain about lack of sex in a relationship. Why? |
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signme
Posts: 12,586
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When I was with my ex b/f, our sex was scheduled, more or less. I only saw him on Saturdays, as he was a truck driver. I think that had a lot to do with loss of desire. There are times you want it, times you don't and spontaneity is always the best! Always knowing when it will happen just loses the fun.
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