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| Aug 22 @ 5:02 AM |
High School Games?
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custis
Posts: 1,341
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I have known this gal from online for about seven or eight months. We started seeing one another about two months ago. Up to this time we have not had sex. I have not pushed or pressured her for it. I really like her and I would like to have a monogamous relationship with her.
I was on a vacation trip and just got back home yesterday. While I was gone we were talking on the Inet every night and she told me that she was ready to make love with me. Tonight was a good time, or actually, last night now that it is well after midnight. You see, my oldest son and his wife came down to visit so we decided that they could have my apt for the night and I would spend the night with her, which she and I had planned on doing anyway.
It was a nice evening at her place. We cuddled and kissed on the couch and watched a movie. The movie ended, we smiled at one another and got ready for bed. We got in bed,,,got to making out hot and heavy, and all of a sudden she freezes up, grabs my hand and says "I'm not ready."
I kissed her and said it was ok, although it was most decidedly NOT ok. I asked point blank, "Is it me?" She said "No, I'm just not ready. I thought I was, but I'm not." She apologized again, and I kissed her and again said it was ok, to go to sleep. However, the longer I laid there with my heart beating like a triphammer, wide awake, the angrier I got. I do not want to be angry with her and I want to give her the benefit of a doubt, so rather than just laying there continuing to be angry and sleepless, I got up and got dressed. I kissed her and said "I'm sorry. I can't sleep. I'm going to leave." She apologized again, sleepily, telling me she knew it must be awful to lay there next to her, wanting her. I felt myself getting angrier, but once again just kissed her and said it was ok, and to go to sleep. And left.
I do not want to be mad at this gal, but there must be something she is not telling me, because I cannot believe that a 42 yr old would play high school games. I am now sitting at home, trying not to type loud enough to wake up my sleeping son. My blood is boiling and I want to pound my head into my desk. Will someone please kill me and put me out of my misery?
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| Aug 22 @ 8:13 AM |
High School Games? |
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Aeromuse
Posts: 2,774
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I don't see why that angers you so. THAT'S what seems "high school" to me, not her honestly telling you she's not ready for that very big step 
Would you rather she have screwed you harboring major reservations? Or is it just all about you and what you want?
Want my advice? Stop whining and get rid of the anger. You might get laid more often 
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| Aug 22 @ 10:14 AM |
High School Games?
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Loreli
Posts: 20,311
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I'm with Muse.....
You need to sit down and get your feelings off your chest about this with her.
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| Aug 22 @ 10:18 AM |
High School Games? |
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fenderchick
Posts: 2,868
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She probably got nervous...It's a big step and she was probably anxious to start off with...At least she said she wasn't ready...
Maybe she just needs more time. Some people are like that.
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| Aug 22 @ 10:51 AM |
High School Games?
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rovingnet
Posts: 1,182
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Maybe she is shy about you seeing her naked? 
Or maybe she's afraid to see you naked 
But seriously, who cares, relax.. don't make it an issue... enjoy her company..
have some fun and let things come naturally... when she is ready she will let you know...
But if it bothers you that much say "goodbye" and leave it at that...  
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| Aug 22 @ 11:49 AM |
High School Games? |
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CathyCRN
Posts: 3,954
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Premeditated sexual encounters are the worst!!! Especially the first time. You should wait until it happens spontaneously and get over it already!!! Geez...it's not like she said she was sorry, you had to leave or something. She just wasn't ready!! If you care about her at all, stop acting like a high school boy...you probably made matters worse by acting like that and leaving...
I hope you are able to let it go and move on with the relationship, if that's what you both want. Good luck
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| Aug 22 @ 11:55 AM |
High School Games?
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custis
Posts: 1,341
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You seem to be forgetting something, those of you who are coming down on me. I never pushed for sex in any way. She was the one who told me that she was ready and wanted me to spend the night. I did not let her know I was angered in any way shape or form, but I could not lay there after she got me all wound up and just go to sleep. That is expecting a little too much. You women are reacting as if I threw some sort of a fit to make her feel guilty or something. As for you guys, I would like to see you in the same situation.
If she had reservations, why did she take me to the bedroom in the first place? I have told her from the start that I did not want to push her into anything until she was ready. I could see it happening with a sixteen yr old girl if I was a sixteen yr old guy, but to get naked on the bed and making out hot and heavy with a 42-yr old and then have her suddenly throw cold water in my face in the middle of foreplay. Sorry. I do not think my reaction was uncalled for. In fact I think it was pretty mellow in retrospect. Maybe I am the bad guy here, but I do not think so.
She and I will be together later today and maybe we will discuss it, maybe not. But I am not going to get into her bed again until we have a discussion. At the very least there are things on her mind that she needs to share with me.
[Edited on 8/22/2008 12:09 PM]
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| Aug 22 @ 11:56 AM |
High School Games? |
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CathyCRN
Posts: 3,954
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sorry...can't see past the girl's point of view!!! I'm sure you were very cool and caring while you walked out the door j/k... 
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| Aug 22 @ 11:58 AM |
High School Games?
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Silver1961
Posts: 4,095
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Custis ~ patience is a virtue... The wait will be well worth it
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| Aug 22 @ 12:04 PM |
High School Games? |
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Aeromuse
Posts: 2,774
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If she had reservations, why did she take me to the bedroom.
So, if you're in a woman's bedroom, that automatically means a gauranteed sexual encounter?
Keep that crap up and you'll never get a date for the prom.
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| Aug 22 @ 12:07 PM |
High School Games?
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Silver1961
Posts: 4,095
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If you're in a hurry ~ just go down to the street corner
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| Aug 22 @ 12:09 PM |
High School Games? |
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custis
Posts: 1,341
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"sorry...can't see past the girl's point of view!!! I'm sure you were very cool and caring while you walked out the door "
Yea? She was already snoring.
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| Aug 22 @ 12:12 PM |
High School Games?
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Silver1961
Posts: 4,095
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Well Custis you should have snuck back over to her bed, and found out if she's a deep sleeper  
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| Aug 22 @ 12:13 PM |
High School Games? |
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CathyCRN
Posts: 3,954
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sorry, Custis...sounds like you're expectations were not met...that can be tough...
Silver  That's just wrong
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| Aug 22 @ 12:17 PM |
High School Games?
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,088
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Maybe she has had some sort of traumatic experience with sex in the past. She might have honestly thought she was ready but the more you two got into it the more she realised she couldn't actually go through with it. If she is a victim of rape or childhood sexual abuse her age has nothing to do with it. That might not be the case, though, but you have to talk to her and see. You never really know what's going on in a person's mind.
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| Aug 22 @ 12:23 PM |
High School Games? |
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Silver1961
Posts: 4,095
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Custis ~ perhaps after discovering your gargantious penis, she was scared celebant
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| Aug 22 @ 12:25 PM |
High School Games?
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CathyCRN
Posts: 3,954
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Custis ~ perhaps after discovering your gargantious penis, she was scared celebant I'm sure that was it (laughing at the comment, not your penis, Custis...I'm sure it's gargantious)
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| Aug 22 @ 12:58 PM |
High School Games? |
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custis
Posts: 1,341
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"Custis ~ perhaps after discovering your gargantious penis, she was scared celebant "
(Pounding head into desk) Just call Dr. Kervorkian for me so I can get it over with.
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| Aug 22 @ 3:04 PM |
High School Games?
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RainbowSharpie
Posts: 1,010
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Maybe she's the type that has to love someone before she puts out and she thought maybe she loved you and decided nevermind?
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| Aug 22 @ 5:33 PM |
High School Games? |
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Bamadreamer
Posts: 172
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The first thing that came to me was that maybe she was a victim of rape or sexual abuse of some kind. Who knows, if she were raped she may not have been intimate with anyone since then and it is extremely difficult to go there. Even if it was years ago..I have a friend who is 37 and still has nightmares about sexual abuse as a child and it does cause problems with her and hubbies sex life at times.
She also might not be ready to tell you if either of those are the case. Give her time if you really like her.
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page:
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of 2 pages
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