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| Apr 2 @ 8:51 AM |
To FWB or not to FWB?
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Angel178
Posts: 36,330
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How conveeeenient, then, isn't it? It's taking away any type of guilty association with the behavior. Which all sounds good on the front end, considering the "freedom" that comes along with it. And some people might say it's "empowering" for women, too, because it also seems that way on the surface. But IMO an FWB arrangement, all it does is further enable for men to act like the superficial horndogs they typically are, and discourage them even further (like they needed THAT) from making any type of commitment or exclusive relationship with a woman.
Just throwing something out there......
Maybe it is the woman who does not want the commitment? Why all this negative about the man being the one to choose it? 
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| Apr 2 @ 9:27 AM |
To FWB or not to FWB? |
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Loreli
Posts: 25,401
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I think picking someone up in a bar and going home with them, is no better than the people that write and ask for sex the first email.
And possibly dangerous.
I don't agree with FWBs-for me.
But anyone that does it should NOT have their "friend" around their kids...
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| Apr 2 @ 9:37 AM |
To FWB or not to FWB?
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Angel178
Posts: 36,330
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Who said anything about kids?
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| Apr 2 @ 2:27 PM |
To FWB or not to FWB? |
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Fender
Posts: 8,499
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Not that anyone should listen to me but...And this is a big BUT:
Some of my closest friends were my boyfriends. WE were friends before we became a couple. People should realize when you actually care for a person the sex is better. Shit, I'm lying here. One time someone rocked my world and I hate to say it, but all I wanted was sex from him. Is that a bad thing? I don't think so. I wasn't in love with him and I enjoyed every damn second of it.
I'm still an advocate for being in love with someone your F'cking though 
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| Apr 2 @ 3:23 PM |
To FWB or not to FWB?
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thor22
Posts: 3,350
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fender...your a good girl, jhey!
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| Apr 2 @ 4:57 PM |
To FWB or not to FWB? |
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Loreli
Posts: 25,401
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Who said anything about kids?
I was addressing the topic, Angel.
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| Apr 2 @ 5:01 PM |
To FWB or not to FWB?
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Angel178
Posts: 36,330
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Sorry Loreli....
I only asked cause I thought that I misread something 
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| Apr 2 @ 6:59 PM |
To FWB or not to FWB? |
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pomegranate
Posts: 1,676
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Angel, I believe I mentioned more than once or twice that included women, too. It's just not as prevalent.
I don't think there's anything particularly "wrong" with an FWB arrangement ...for those who are superficial and shallow.
But here's a prime example of what I mean.
Been in a major texting argument for the last two days with a guy who stated he wanted an FWB "relationship."
Well, he's really cute, so I thought, hey, I'll contact him and see where it goes. I don't want to get married or live with somone ..and I'm not looking for commitment of any kind (having said that, I won't have sex with a man who sleeps with other women while he's seeing me..eww) but anyway...
So we talk. He seems very nice. Okay, and this is where it starts going downhill..the very beginning.
He asks me if I want to come ..no, wait ...to "cum" over and see him and have sex with him THAT NIGHT. Now, keep in mind WE HAVEN'T EVEN MET EACH OTHER YET. I don't even know the guy's last name, for pete's sake!
Then he says his 7 yr old daughter will be home but not to worry, that I could make all the noise I want because there's a very loud fan in her room.
I let that slide, thinking the guy must be extremely horny and "not of sound mind," so I tried to steer the conversation several times to the "friends" part of the "friends with benefits" arrangement he was so interested in.
Well, to make a long story short, it just so happens he's so extremely busy he really doesn't have time for "friends." As he put it, word for word:
"I don't have time for friends. I barely have enough time to get a poke in."
A POKE? Excuse me?
Now, change the dialogue a little bit but that type of conversation is not at all atypical of men who want the FWB thing. They don't want the FRIEND; they just want the BENEFIT.
Well, screw that. I want the BENEFIT of having a FRIEND. And, if compatible and mutual interest is there, the sex is merely icing on the cake.
But I'm not playing whore to no man. I told him (like I tell all the others) to either pick up some drunk slut in a bar, or go to the nearest sleazy street corner and pay for it. I mean, that's what whores and prostitutes are for, right?
"Friends with Benefits" ...my ass. 
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| Apr 2 @ 7:02 PM |
To FWB or not to FWB?
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Loreli
Posts: 25,401
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Angel
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| Apr 2 @ 8:11 PM |
To FWB or not to FWB? |
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Laidback742
Posts: 4,679
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To FWB or not to FWB?
Depends on how good the benefits are ... is a golden parachute included?
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| Apr 2 @ 8:30 PM |
To FWB or not to FWB?
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thor22
Posts: 3,350
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or a few ribbed trojans? 
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| Apr 2 @ 8:33 PM |
To FWB or not to FWB? |
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Angel178
Posts: 36,330
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pomegranate...that post was completely different than what I was talking about
What you went through was not a good experience and he was very much a pig.
The situation I was throwing out there was : two people who would maybe date if they had the time...both very busy. They were friends...slept together, but did not sleep with others. You might call it dating, but it's not really. I was saying that the "friends" part was there.
There are many different situations...yours was def not a FWB....so sorry 
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| Apr 2 @ 8:39 PM |
To FWB or not to FWB?
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signme
Posts: 12,586
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Thinking about FWB made me realize that my last relationship was pretty much just that. Every Sat. night we would either go to a movie or out to eat, then home to bed. It got boring and predictable. I never got to meet any of his friends or family and when I tried to include him in things with some of my friends, he refused to go. We enjoyed talking with each other and did that a lot but there really wasn't much else than some conversation and sex. And it's NOT what I wanted.
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| Apr 2 @ 8:42 PM |
To FWB or not to FWB? |
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Angel178
Posts: 36,330
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Sorry sign
Men really can be pigs sometimes 
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| Apr 2 @ 8:53 PM |
To FWB or not to FWB?
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signme
Posts: 12,586
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Oh well, Angel, live and learn. Now I know what I DON'T want!
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| Apr 2 @ 8:59 PM |
To FWB or not to FWB? |
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pomegranate
Posts: 1,676
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I understand what you're saying, Angel. But the whole "I don't have time for anything else" is not a "friendship," either. It's using each other, and it's a convenient excuse for someone to get "free" sex (no obligation, no commitment, etc.) My situation is NOT atypical. That's what "FWBs" are!
They're "I don't have time for anything else (yeah, right...whatever) so let's get together for 15, 30, 60 minutes (in other words, however long it takes to get each other off) and I'll see ya 'next time around'."
To me, if ya got time to screw, ya got time to watch a movie. Or have dinner together. Or go play miniature golf. Or any number of things.
But if you truly don't have time to do anything but get together for the time it takes to get each other off, how, then, does that classify as a "friendship?" Friends do things together (BESIDES have sex). That is NO "friendship," not even close.
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| Apr 2 @ 9:01 PM |
To FWB or not to FWB?
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Angel178
Posts: 36,330
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Ugggg...I was agreeing with you! 
I'm prob the only one on here that ever takes your side on anything! Throw me a bone every once in a while and frickin say Thank You!
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| Apr 2 @ 9:06 PM |
To FWB or not to FWB? |
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thor22
Posts: 3,350
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fwb? fools with boners...
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| Apr 2 @ 9:10 PM |
To FWB or not to FWB?
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pomegranate
Posts: 1,676
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Ummm...
"...yours was def not a FWB..."
That's not agreeing with me. Yes, it was an FWB. (Well, not the scenario I mentioned in my post, because I haven't even met that guy yet, much less have done anything with him. But it was a "potential" FWB. At least he hoped it would be. The FWB, I mean, in the sense that every other man feels what an FWB is...which is free sex without any other kind of commitment whatsoever. All benefit, and no friend. That's what most men think of as a "friend with benefits."
And Angel, no, you're not the only one who agrees with me; not by a long shot. And the ones who don't, I obviously don't care whether they do or not. And guess what? I don't agree with them, either! LOL
Also, I don't thank people for simply agreeing with me in a discussion. Do you say thank you to everyone who shares the same opinion that you do everytime you post something? I don't think so.
You think that there is a "friend" component to the typical "FWB" arrangement, and I don't think there is. How is that "agreeing" with me?
What I call "dating" is going out with someone.
What I call a true friend (with or without "benefits") is spending time with someone whom you enjoy spending time with. Going places, doing things. Now, IF that friendship is not a purely platonic one, then that is called "dating."
If ALL that it involves is screwing each other when "convenient," then that is neither dating, nor is it a "friendship." It's using each other as human mastubatory tools to get each other off, is what it boils down to.
Feel free to disagree or agree however you like. That's what discussion forums are for.
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| Apr 2 @ 9:56 PM |
To FWB or not to FWB? |
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SensualGemini
Posts: 6,889
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To FWB or not to FWB?
...FWB's are relationships with one common denominator and that is sex with no strings attached.
...The Friend part is the variable and needs to be predetermined by the two parties.
1.)...We feel comfortable enough with each other to take our clothes off.
2.)...We will do things together, but no other outside influences.
3.)...We will do things together and include our friends.
4.)...We will do things together with friends, family, introduce each other to the kids, etc.
...Somewhere between #2 and #3, you then have a relationship.
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Angel: Maybe it is the woman who does not want the commitment? Why all this negative about the man being the one to choose it?
...Exactly, as I have known many women that only want to be FWB at their convenience.
PS: I don't do FWB's... although being best friends with all of the benefits of a FWB relationship, along with a committed relationship would be perfect!
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