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| Apr 2 @ 10:03 PM |
To FWB or not to FWB?
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pomegranate
Posts: 1,676
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And, once again, I mentioned that there are women who are like that, too. It's more typical of men, however. Always has been and probably always will be.
As far as determining level of friendship, I'm speaking from my personal experience (the one FWB personal experience I had, I mean) and from others' experiences, and from email exchanges with men who were looking for FWB, and also from just reading the profiles of men who are looking for FWB arrangements, and, when it came right down to "demanding" bare bones honesty, not one of them wanted anything BUT the sex part.
And if you do do things together, then that's actual dating; that's not FWB. Or, at least, what used to be called "dating" is now called "FWB" so one can, as I said before, remove the "accountability" element from it.
Anyway...whatever the hell it is, it's not for me. And that's what I find a great deal of men both on the internet and elsewhere are looking for. An easy POA. Which is why I'll remain single until such time as I find a man who's not afraid to be a real man.
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| Apr 2 @ 10:27 PM |
To FWB or not to FWB? |
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SensualGemini
Posts: 6,910
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...We hear it all the time, where "my friend this" or "my friend that," where they are really just acquaintances and not really what one would call best friends, true friends, etc.
...This FWB is subjective and as I said, with one common denominator, which sex. The friendship part is a variable, just as it is when sex is not included.
...I understand where you are coming from, as you felt there should be more "friend" than their was and of course, if there is, that is typically what most would call a relationship.
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Pom: And, once again, I mentioned that there are women who are like that, too. It's more typical of men, however. Always has been and probably always will be.
...That is an argumentative statement from your viewpoint of being the victim, whereas a man could say the same thing about women if he was the victim.
...I don't think it is a gender issue, but rather an understanding issue up front, of what is expected and what is agreed upon.
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Pom: And if you do do things together, then that's actual dating; that's not FWB. Or, at least, what used to be called "dating" is now called "FWB" so one can, as I said before, remove the "accountability" element from it.
...If you are doing things together, interacting with other than the one common denominator of sex, someplace between 2 and 3 of my prior post, then you are most likely in a relationship.
...Dating is still dating, while FWB is an agreed arrangement of friends enough to undress and have sex without commitment.
...You cannot agree to an FWB arrangement and expect it to be a relationship beyond sex, unless you both define the parameters ahead of time.
...I would agree, that FWB is not for you, as you appear to want and need it all; which I think most people do. Meantime, some are willing to settle in the interim for a FWB and for others, that is all they want, which may be perfect for their world and not defined specifically to a gender, as I know a few on this site alone that are female.
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| Apr 8 @ 7:40 PM |
To FWB or not to FWB?
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jamminjerry
Posts: 4,085
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once again we have an adulterated word. many times in this game women say "friends first!!!". and so should i become her friend logic implies sex is next. but, my teacher set the bar very high! "no greater gift can a man give..." we be jammin 
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| Apr 11 @ 9:36 PM |
To FWB or not to FWB? |
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your_princess
Posts: 3,389
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but I prefer the sexual revolution of the 70s. At least we understood that we're not just animals, or human vibrators or sperm receptacles. Or was it just all the drugs that were consumed that made you feel this way??
I personally feel like two people can be friends with benefits, no emotional strings attached. I used to have a friend that i would hang out with, we would be drinking or just be horny and we would have sex. but as soon as the sex was over we reverted back to being friends. neither of us were interested in an intimate romantic relationship...but each wanted to get our jollies off and call it good. We each had our sexual needs taken care of on a regular basis and it was great. however i do realize...most fuch buddy relationships are not like this and often someone gets hurt. I also believe that women are often willing to submit themselves to Friends with benefits to get the affection/attention they desire...but when that doesnt occur and things are left as just friends banging each other they get angry and bitter. Vibrators are great to do the job solo...but it certainly does not replace the real thing! Oh and some are sperm receptacles...JMO of course! 
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| Apr 12 @ 12:47 AM |
To FWB or not to FWB?
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open_horizons
Posts: 28
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I've never really been a fan of the term "friends with benefits." The way I look at it, if I am going to sleep with someone or even just do a little fooling around with them, they are more than a friend to me. Plus, I think friendship offers many benefits that are in no way sexual in nature. Therefore, to label one person as a friend and then label someone with whom you have sex as a friend with benefits, devalues the friendship you have with the non-sexual friend. With that said, I'm not sure the best way to label friends with whom you have sex. I guess I personally just call them "women."
I do want to be clear that I have no problem with people having someone(s) they can go to for sexual pleasure and still simultaneously maintain a strong relationship (sexual or not) with someone else. In fact, one of the rules I have for all of my "girlfriends" is that they have someone they can go to for pleasure when I'm not around (I travel a lot for several days at a time). I have this rule because I will be intimate with other women on my various travels and they already know I have other "girlfriends," so it really wouldn't be fair to make them be monogamous with me when I'm not going to be monogamous with them. I just require that they take proper precautions and have proper protection when they are with someone else.
I would also add that I don't think we are wired to be completely monogamous. 95% of world cultures are polygamous in nature (more than one mate [not to be confused with spouse]), and the average American will sleep with 24-26 (depending on which poll you read) people in their lifetime. Also, the male mating mind and ultimately, the penis, depend on new pheremones to maintain high sex drive. This is one reason why most couples tend to experience a decrease in sexual activity after 4-6 months. So I think it is healthy to have a variety of sexual partners, as long as everyone uses proper protection and is forward and honest from the beginning at defining the relationship.
And all of this is just my opinion as well (with a few stats thrown in to support it).
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| Jun 3 @ 6:32 PM |
To FWB or not to FWB? |
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CaseyMarie793
Posts: 2
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It is different when you start out as lovers and dating, and then that fizzles. I am in love with my man, and we are re-united, but know I would accept FWB rather than lose him. ..the pain would worse than the shame......until I could get over him inmy heart and mind
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| Jun 30 @ 6:18 PM |
To FWB or not to FWB?
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CowboyX
Posts: 613
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For once, I agree completely with SG. FWB can mean very different things depending on the people and the situation. The benefits part is pretty straightforward. The friends part is variable (from very close to nonexistent).
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