| May 26 @ 10:34 PM |
What IS makeup sex? Your version....
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plowman
Posts: 1,283
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 angel, don't fall! 
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| Jun 1 @ 12:39 PM |
What IS makeup sex? Your version.... |
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RavinLunatic
Posts: 1,289
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Ok, so I know what makeup sex is now. No, REAL makeup sex for me anyway is similar to what Custis said. I did resonate to that.
There are times in life when one of you may inadvertantly hurt the feelings of the other, or you may be tired and grumpy and get into an argument even if arguing is the farthest thing from your mind. Makeup sex is simply how you say "Im sorry," to one another and show that the petty little problems of life mean nothing compared to what you mean to one another.
To me, I actually lose interest in sex when I fight. Not argue...fight. There is a difference. However, when I have fought before, there never was a real honest to God resolution....until now. I did not have someone that actually worked with me going thru problems and actually SOLVING the problems so it did take DAYS to overcome the loss of my sex drive.
Now I am (at this moment at least) in a relationship with someone that has equal beliefs as me IN THAT we wish to work thru troubles and SOLVE the negative mindset and emotions, resolve them, heal them...whatever you want to call it. We both appear to WANT to change...somewhat. And we both seem to be able to communicate... (whether it is good or not is moot) ...and are WILLING (at some or most times) to communicate fully. Oh and not afraid to. (OMG! HE IS SO not afraid to   )
So, the sex drive is no longer diminished.    I guess what I am saying is make up sex to me is what you have later after the fireworks and the CLEAN UP of the debris from the fireworks. Oh, and it is not more intense for me. Before, it was diminished a bit. Now it is back to normal. Ok, so if you are reading this and thinking TMI...WTF are you doing in the dating and sex threads ANY fkn way? Bite me.
SpiritEnergyOrnery
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| Jun 1 @ 3:09 PM |
What IS makeup sex? Your version....
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AngelLight
Posts: 5,620
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Ahhh, bite you? 
I won't ask where that is coming from. It seems many have participated in this thread with no thought of the second to last comment/question SE.
Makeup sex?....others have already said it very well.....to me, it's when my partner and I make love despite an argument or having had "words" to express that "our love is greater than or bigger than any of this will ever be."
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| Jun 1 @ 4:10 PM |
What IS makeup sex? Your version.... |
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RavinLunatic
Posts: 1,289
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Oh, the bite me is for the people that go into threads and complain we are giving too much info (TMI). Uh, this IS the dating and sex threads. I have seen TMI done to soooo many people, not just me.
And I was feeling ornery....soooooo that last post.
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| Jun 1 @ 4:21 PM |
What IS makeup sex? Your version....
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RavinLunatic
Posts: 1,289
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Oh, I went back to see what you were referring to, Angel. I forgot about these...
4. Is the problem resolved? Is this why the 'reward'?
5. does someone or both people 'win'?
6. is the relationship enriched by the original conflict? (Like greater communication, understanding, etc...you tell me what.
Pretty much of the problems were resolved. There was more than one. Still discussing things...now that we understand there is a problem. I am not sure if anyone actually lost and yes, there was a reward...only sex was not the reward.
Sex is to me a resumption of 'normality' IF you can call this relationship normal. Not sure about that.  To me, the reward is the greater understanding that came out of the conflict. It was very necessary. I am seeing deeper communications at a level I have never had before with any man. Ever.
Was it worth the conflict? I won't know til on down the road. We shall see.
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| Jun 2 @ 3:57 PM |
What IS makeup sex? Your version.... |
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SensualGemini
Posts: 6,923
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What IS makeup sex? Your version....
...When two narcissistic people finally get on the same wave length for their highs and lows?
...I have known a couple for 25 years, where their arguments increased to the point of getting a divorce and the next day, it was almost sickening of how sweet they were to each other. After 25 years of this activity, fighting to make up became beyond habitual, but rather an addiction.
...Not so long ago, he had a heart and thyroid condition that resulted in impotency and now, all they have is the fighting with no make up.
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...In my opinion, identifying makeup sex as just that, has the potential over time of creating an addictive act this is ingrained in the psyche as a being a happening that climaxes the preceding argument and a dangerous entity to create in the first place... the impending addiction to the heightened endorphin rush is not so unlike the chemistry of new.
...But like any addiction, it always takes more to achieve the same results, which creates more fights to achieve this endorphin rush and the more intense the fight, the more intense the makeup sex.
...In conclusion, if this addictive activity of remaining at the infantile level of personality development is not being narcissistic, I don't know what is.
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| Jun 2 @ 7:14 PM |
What IS makeup sex? Your version....
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RavinLunatic
Posts: 1,289
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Yes, I have seen people like that as well. They have to fight to have extra sensations. I avoid that like the plague. Sado Masochism is what it is called. No, thank God, I do not get extra sexual stimulation from arguing and fighting. I doubt YB does either. I have seen differently so I am pretty sure.
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| Jun 2 @ 7:36 PM |
What IS makeup sex? Your version.... |
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SensualGemini
Posts: 6,923
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Spirit: Sado Masochism is what it is called.
....Hard core S&M seldom, if ever starts there, but progressive from the increasing need of the chemical addiction to the endorphin rush itself. Just as a drug addict, they slowly lose their sense of self worth, their self esteem and succumb to their addiction at most any cost, including the increasing manipulation of those they profess to love.
....Most people that make up after a fight are not this way, but observation says that it can easily progress, or is already a subliminal addiction of one, or both. The couple I mentioned are normal in most every other way, but their mutual addiction for a rush that hardly resembles love itself.
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| Jun 2 @ 7:40 PM |
What IS makeup sex? Your version....
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RavinLunatic
Posts: 1,289
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I understand that. Thanks for the warning. 
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| Jun 2 @ 9:40 PM |
What IS makeup sex? Your version.... |
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pamdemonium
Posts: 17,347
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I think if you're really still hurt, or pissed off, the thought of makeup sex is repulsive. JMO
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| Jun 2 @ 10:56 PM |
What IS makeup sex? Your version....
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RavinLunatic
Posts: 1,289
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I agree. It takes time for the desire to come back. IF you are not into pain and like SG said...the rush.
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| Jun 2 @ 11:23 PM |
What IS makeup sex? Your version.... |
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youbetcha
Posts: 14,834
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I get no rush or pleasure from fighting, but just look at how quickly getting the right information changed your feelings and emotions...sure I was still a little raw and uneasy the next day and we're still not all the way back to where we were before the latest event, but things are going real well between us considering 
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| Jun 2 @ 11:29 PM |
What IS makeup sex? Your version....
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MotownManiax
Posts: 9,737
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I think what SG's getting at is when makeup sex reaches a cyclical “addiction”, most of the couples involved don’t see it as a dysfunction and are resistant to help. They feel it as a normal part of their relationship behavior, and even if they “do” realize its destructive effects are seemingly powerless to fix it.
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| Jun 3 @ 12:33 AM |
What IS makeup sex? Your version.... |
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RavinLunatic
Posts: 1,289
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Well, in our case.... we misunderstand some things. I have discovered we need to define what we mean. It is quite obvious now that what I mean by one word may have a whole different meaning to him or for that matter, to you, Mo or SG or BandT...everyone has a different history.
Lavish to me is a very good word. My ex thought it was disgusting. Ok, he lavishly put peanut butter on toast...to me. To him it was the height of waste by disgustingly rich people that got to where they were on the backs of the poor.
So when I was angry at him for breaking our agreement, he didn't actually know what I meant when he agreed to our agreements.  And we were both too pissed to talk it out. We just both felt betrayed. Our delivery was screwed up. We are working on that now.
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| Jun 3 @ 12:43 AM |
What IS makeup sex? Your version....
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youbetcha
Posts: 14,834
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| Jun 3 @ 12:46 AM |
What IS makeup sex? Your version.... |
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RavinLunatic
Posts: 1,289
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 Sorry.
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| Jun 3 @ 1:06 AM |
What IS makeup sex? Your version....
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youbetcha
Posts: 14,834
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What?
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| Jun 3 @ 8:46 PM |
What IS makeup sex? Your version.... |
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RavinLunatic
Posts: 1,289
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Sorry I did such a screw up and didn't understand it was semantics and definitions.
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| Jun 3 @ 9:12 PM |
What IS makeup sex? Your version....
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youbetcha
Posts: 14,834
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Well I'm glad we are past that and can work on the rest...without fighting
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| Jun 3 @ 9:40 PM |
What IS makeup sex? Your version.... |
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RavinLunatic
Posts: 1,289
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wait til you get the definitions.... 
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