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| Jul 3 @ 1:58 PM |
Shy GF won’t talk about improving our sex or give head.
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maxzor27
Posts: 4
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We've been dating for couple of months now. I am 28 and she is 23yo. I can tell that she likes it when i give it to her but she just won’t even talk about sex with me. I have to say that she is very shy, laid back person and had a 5 year relationship before we met. It seems like she is sexually inexperienced though. It seems that she likes sex in general, but it’s some kind of forbidden topic for her to talk about. She giving me hints to initiate sex every time. Like giving her a massage or bringing her to upstairs bedroom because it’s warmer. Then I have to come up with some stupid (very minor) excuses to remove her clothes. She responds with 1 question/objection but then immediately submits and takes it off. This applies to top, jeans, bra then strings.
I am pretty much doing all the work of foreplay including going down on her. I can tell she gets excited during beginning and intercourse and gets off multiple times. She changes positions on my “requests” whenever. However, she is completely quite. No screaming or talking at all, just heavy breathing. It’s gets difficult for me to time her orgasms to change rate of movement this way.
I have been with almost 30 women in my life including ex wife and few years living in gf. I like to communicate with a partners regarding what they like and have “Everything goes in the bedroom” attitude. I know for the fact that techniques and performance was never an issue in the past. I am clean and will wash myself and brush teeth if I feel that we going at it in a few. So, no gross smells or any crap like that as a reason for no head.
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I made an attempt on the second night we were at it for her to put it in her mouth after going down on her. She just shook her head and hugged me, so I moved on. Other time I suggested to kiss me in there as not to intimidate or to be demanding. Same response. After that I tried to initiate conversation about sex 3 times while watching tv and while dining out. I was trying to ask what she likes with her changing subject or hugging me immediately. I almost felt that she just wants physically shut my mouth so I can’t talk about it. I am being very careful not to give impression of judgment or critique and trying to make her at least comfortable to start talking about it. I have dropped few hints about liking oral in the last 2 weeks and always trying to insinuate that nicked body and human intimate relations is absolutely normal and everyone doing it.
Today I showed her few minutes of educational video material. One was “How to eat pussy like a champ” by some porn producers (well, the title speaks for itself) and second was “Massage techniques”. I played only few minutes of each. She refused to watch the first one and kept her hand between her eyes and the screen. But she was interested and was watching the massage techniques video. When I asked her what the difference between those two is, I got same response. Embarrassed smile and a long hug. Then I tried to explain that both videos are designed to educate people on how to give pleasure and make other people feel good. The only difference is, you can see females’ genitalias in one.
I am running low on patience and ideas at this point. I feel that our sex life going down from the start and we have no chance of improvement in near feature or ever. I really like this girl and even considering maybe marring her in the feature, but afraid the lock of BJs and unwillingness to talk about sex will put an end to it. Please give me some ideas or what you think, cause I think I can get through her somehow.
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| Jul 3 @ 3:50 PM |
Shy GF won’t talk about improving our sex or give head. |
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Always_Striving
Posts: 8,794
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Search for another woman who is more compatible with you and shares your interests.
You can't change someone who isn't interested in changing. Don't even have a second thought about it.
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| Jul 3 @ 4:06 PM |
Shy GF won’t talk about improving our sex or give head.
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Loreli
Posts: 25,401
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I feel that our sex life going down from the start and we have no chance of improvement in near feature or ever.
Then either make that less important, or find another 
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| Jul 3 @ 10:31 PM |
Shy GF won’t talk about improving our sex or give head. |
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 13,649
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checkout everything yo can on forplay and forget about getting head for now....
for some women.. the place you are at in your relationship is much too soon .....they have to be in love before they will go that far....
btw.....just maybe......she might be thinking...that all you want is a sexual relationship........??....
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| Jul 4 @ 1:17 AM |
Shy GF won’t talk about improving our sex or give head.
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signme
Posts: 12,586
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.....just maybe......she might be thinking...that all you want is a sexual relationship........??....
Good point, Gallows. It does seem like that from the post.
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| Jul 4 @ 2:10 AM |
Shy GF won’t talk about improving our sex or give head. |
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maxzor27
Posts: 4
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I know, it does sounds like I want sex only. I just did not mention that we spend at least 6 days/evenings per week together. I introduced her to all of my friends. We go dining, clubbing, shopping and watching movies together. I am hinting her about some long term plans like cruise in September together and snow skiing in Colorado, this winter, with other couple (my friends). We do not have sex every time either. It’s only about every other time we meet.
And even though, if she puts out at all, why not to make it more pleasurable for both? It’s just I feel that my needs are not considered here. Is she just too young in addition to the way she was raised? She is everything I look in a girl: gorgeous, loyal, kind, modest, responsible, knows how to cook (I love to eat and can cook too, btw). But I can’t commit NOT knowing what it’s going to be. I don’t want to brake her heart later if it continue this way. Obviously, I can’t give an ultimatum like this to her.
I basically, want to hear that she’ll get more comfortable with me to talk about sex and finally will come around. I am willing to put more time into this relationship, but what is likelihood of us getting to that point in your opinion? Will it be fair to her to continue the relationship to give her more time and then walk away if it won’t improve?
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| Jul 4 @ 4:43 PM |
Shy GF won’t talk about improving our sex or give head.
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 13,649
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seems to me that you are pushing her too hard...
and not listening to what the facts are saying..
I know, it does sounds like I want sex only. I just did not mention that we spend at least 6 days/evenings per week together. I introduced her to all of my friends. We go dining, clubbing, shopping and watching movies together. I am hinting her about some long term plans like cruise in September together and snow skiing in Colorado, this winter, with other couple (my friends). We do not have sex every time either. It’s only about every other time we meet.
having sex 3 or more times a week is an above average sex drive.... maybe you are asking her for too much here? Maybe it is not her...but you that has a problem?
...
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| Jul 4 @ 5:30 PM |
Shy GF won’t talk about improving our sex or give head. |
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maxzor27
Posts: 4
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maybe you are asking her for too much here? Maybe it is not her...but you that has a problem?
Wanting to have quality sex and being open about it is problem now? Then at least 90% of population having problems. I am not asking anything extraordinary here. I think self improvement is a natural think and never seen a person who thinks otherwise. I am just wondering if some people would stay at the same level (as long as they satisfied) and not really care about their partner. Cause that what I am getting now and don’t know if it’s going to improve later down the road.
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| Jul 4 @ 5:47 PM |
Shy GF won’t talk about improving our sex or give head.
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Loreli
Posts: 25,401
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If you are this worried about it, it's too important to YOU.
Move on...
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