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| Jul 25 @ 3:47 PM |
Black Hats & White Hats!
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EagleEric
Posts: 16
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From a recent post:
"i had my heart tore out and walked on awhile back but she would not let me get
over her . text after text i finally gave in met up with her once again thinking
there was hope. she was found out by her new bf and claimed i was stalking
her....you know it is so hard not to ruin her life like she has mine by showing
him the contents on my phone from the last few weeks. i am trying to b the the
better person but we all know that is easier said"
What utter nonsense but so much of this kind of rubbish shows up on dating forums. Nearly all the responses to this post were predictable and wrong. The problem is people see things as good or evil, right or wrong, black or white, love or hate, or any opposites you care to select. Actually none of these comparisons are justified. There isn't a black hat and white hat involved in a breakup! And don't believe a word of what the OP has written! It's his view of the situation, and it's certainly going to be biased.
Couples are attracted to each other for physical and emotional reasons. Not all of these pairings are likely to be perfect; although, many peple are lucky enough to meet someone with whom they are very attracted to and share a lot of commonality. These relationship have a very high probability of success. For the rest of us, our picks aren't quite so perfect. Over time these flaws become easily recognizable and being to be troublesome to one party or the other. If the couple have good communication skills and maturity, sometimes things can be worked out. Usually they don't, and it's splitsville. There is also another kind of situation where there are problems but one party or even both don't exactly know what they are. What I'm saying is they don't recognize how their own behavior aggravates the problems! Their level of and ability to communicate is so poor that the relationship implodes. Sometimes couple married or not are mired in these situations for years without resolution!
I had a young friend who recently broke up with a very attractive women. She met all of his qualifications of which he had many. Believe me she was a real find! But it ended after a year. And why? Well she had trust issues and was worried that he might have been cheating on her. I don't know if he was or not. He told me he wasn't. Who knows? She had been involved with a man who did cheat on her (she found him in bed with another woman), so she started to check up on him. She did things like ask his mother and friends about his behavior. My friend didn't handle the situation very well. He has the habit of getting very defensive and angry when things don't go his way. He suggested, probably told her, that they should see a counselor. Well this backfired! He wasn't sensitive enough to recognize that all she wanted was some assurance that he cared enough about her to make a committment.
Unfortunately many relationships go south, leaving one party with a tremendous amount of emotional pain and the other breathing a sigh of relief and who can't get out of town fast enough! These kind of breakups are due to emotional immaturity, and they just don't have to happen. Of course, when couples are very young, these situations do occur, but as one lives and hopefully emotionally matures these kind of experience should serve to educate. However, I've meet enough people throughout my life who never seem to learn and just repeat the same old patterns of behavior over and over again.
So what's the point of this? The point is as we meet and get to know another human being, there are all kinds of signals, cues, and sign posts along the way some nearly shouting at us the state of our affairs! Many people, especially women, are so hooked into the emotional component of a relationship that they fail to realize that good ones are made with not only the heart but more importantly the mind. How many posts have you read where one party treats the other like a POS? Yet both, yup both are miserable, of them suffer through their misery! I think women think or hope, "He's going to change!" And many men I've met really don't know how to treat a woman. They were raised in abusive homes or where love and kindness were in short supply. They simply don't know any better!
Life is short. Why waste your time with a person who isn't going to be good for you? If a person cares about you, you can easily determine from their behavior if you take off your blinders. But if you continue down this path, your life will disappear without fullfillment! How very sad! Finally, one last thought about breakups. Stop whining and crying about it on a forum. You can't go home again. It's over. Spend some time with yourself and think about what changes you can make to your own behavior so you won't repeat the same mistakes.
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| Jul 25 @ 6:16 PM |
Black Hats & White Hats! |
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Loreli
Posts: 25,398
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Finally, one last thought about breakups. Stop whining and crying about it on a forum.
I'm still not sure what that very long post meant, but I can address the highlighted.....
There are only a couple whiners here.
For the most part, people use this as an outlet to have fun, not complain. 
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| Jul 25 @ 6:48 PM |
Black Hats & White Hats!
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EagleEric
Posts: 16
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It's to test your reading comprehension. You get an F!
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| Jul 25 @ 7:11 PM |
Black Hats & White Hats! |
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Merchitown
Posts: 6,129
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Sorry, but this appears that it should be a blog. How's that for black and white. 
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| Jul 25 @ 7:13 PM |
Black Hats & White Hats!
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chubs
Posts: 2,534
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it is kinda bloggish in length...but I liked the part where he mentioned a very attractive wimmenz who was a real find 
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| Jul 25 @ 7:14 PM |
Black Hats & White Hats! |
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Merchitown
Posts: 6,129
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It doesn't leave any room for discussion. It's a lecture.
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| Jul 25 @ 7:22 PM |
Black Hats & White Hats!
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chubs
Posts: 2,534
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well, merch...then lets use this thread for other things, like...hey CiW, don't you ever open yer mail...or what? 
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| Jul 25 @ 7:25 PM |
Black Hats & White Hats! |
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Loreli
Posts: 25,398
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I got an F 
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| Jul 25 @ 7:28 PM |
Black Hats & White Hats!
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chubs
Posts: 2,534
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there, there, loreli, don't cry...you get an A+++ for taking me to the L'Eggz Factory! 
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| Jul 25 @ 7:30 PM |
Black Hats & White Hats! |
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Loreli
Posts: 25,398
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Oh good.
My night was going to be ruined....
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| Jul 25 @ 7:34 PM |
Black Hats & White Hats!
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chubs
Posts: 2,534
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I'm real curious to find out if they have plastic chickens to lay all those eggz...or what
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| Jul 25 @ 8:21 PM |
Black Hats & White Hats! |
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willowy1
Posts: 9,184
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Spend some time with yourself and think about what changes you can make to your own behavior so you won't repeat the same mistakes. All men are bad, some worse than others . I enjoy me time.
I hope you grade my paper on the curve.
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| Jul 25 @ 9:09 PM |
Black Hats & White Hats!
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JenRNinOhio
Posts: 4,161
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A.)
B.)
C.) x
D.)
E.)
When in doubt, always pick C.
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| Jul 25 @ 9:13 PM |
Black Hats & White Hats! |
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Loreli
Posts: 25,398
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Just don't pick your nose 
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| Jul 25 @ 10:04 PM |
Black Hats & White Hats!
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chubs
Posts: 2,534
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pick me pick me!
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| Jul 25 @ 10:13 PM |
Black Hats & White Hats! |
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ColdinWisconsin
Posts: 9,987
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well, merch...then lets use this thread for other things, like...hey CiW, don't you ever open yer mail...or what?
Busted. I'm busted. I hop on and make a few posts and log off and do real life. I LOVE to write, but returning emails? I blow the big kazoo at that!  (I have less guilt if I just don't open them!)
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| Jul 25 @ 10:28 PM |
Black Hats & White Hats!
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chubs
Posts: 2,534
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CiW...I was just wondering why you are always invisable when your online here at MD?
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| Jul 25 @ 11:10 PM |
Black Hats & White Hats! |
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ColdinWisconsin
Posts: 9,987
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Because it SERIOUSLY cut down on the mail 
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| Jul 26 @ 12:03 AM |
Black Hats & White Hats!
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chubs
Posts: 2,534
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CiW...so then if a fun, intelligent, funny, nice, kind, caring, honest, strong, stable, interesting, generous, creative, and very handsome man with an infectious personality ever wanted to ask you out on a date, does that mean I, er, he has to do it in public here in the fora, and risk being laughed at if you reject m, er, him?
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| Jul 26 @ 12:17 AM |
Black Hats & White Hats! |
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safaristars
Posts: 289
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Not sure about this subject either ~ but can't help but thinking of that old saying " It's better to have loved and lost than never loved at all". Live for today, baby!!
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page:
<<
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2
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5
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8
9
10
>>
of 2 pages
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< previous page | next page >
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