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| Feb 17, 2006 @ 8:48 PM |
Birth control : who's really responsible?
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AladinSane297
Posts: 102
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You're in a relationship...the pill is unhealthy...condoms can be inhibiting...Sponge Bob Square Pants is not a contraceptive...IUDs can be painful; foams, creams, suppositories are messy....
A pill for for men would be wonderful but it's not actually on the market yet...and when it does arrive...is it going to cause problems like the pill does for women...or worse? (It's not like us men don't have enough of them already....
Now the question.... (music from Star Wars in the background)....
Who bears the burden? ...who suffers? ...every form of b/c causes problems for one or the other.... And what about the cost?.... the pill and condoms both cost... all of it does.... Who should be responsible? Is it even able to share it evenly?
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| Feb 18, 2006 @ 2:07 AM |
Birth control : who's really responsible? |
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JesterDrawers
Posts: 11,116
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Great question, Aladin....let's inject a healthy dose of realism and sarcasm into this thread right away.
First, as we're all aware, NO form of contraception, with the exception of abstinence, is 100% effective. And most people are not going to willingly remain abstinent. So the chance of pregnancy always exists whenever two people engage in sex. (Even those that have been spayed or neutered are not 100% sure that they are 100% protected!)
GUYS: Do you want to increase your chances of NOT getting her pregnant? Then assume the responsibility and wrap that rascal! You can't assume that whatever form of birth control she is using either (a) has actually been used, or (b) has been used correctly. So take the responsibility yourselves.
GALS: Do you want to increase your chances of NOT getting pregnant? Then don't rely on the guy. Take the pill, use the IUD, whatever your chosen method is. AND keep a supply of condoms on hand just to be on the safe side. Don't assume that just because the guy carries his wallet around in his condom that it's safe to trust him. Maybe the condom has been lying under the front seat of a 1947 Studebaker - since the Studebaker was brand new! Reach over in that nightstand drawer and hand him one that you just bought last week....YOU know the age and quality of those that you purchased!
So the answer to the question - Birth control: who's really responsible, is simply that BOTH parties are fully responsible. And if you really don't want a pregnancy to result, the question about who assumes the cost is trivial by comparison with the investment needed - financial, emotional and otherwise - to raise a child.
Now the question "who's really responsible" should be followed up
with the question "who's ultimately responsible?"
And, for better or for worse (sounds like marriage, doesn't it?), MOST of the time it's the GUY that's going to be ULTIMATELY responsible. No matter how careful you are, if all forms of birth control ultimately fail, well - in the words of MY attorney in a paternity suit once filed against me: "You play, you pay" - whether or not it's right, whether or not you actually WANTED to "play" doesn't matter one iota. All of a sudden, there's a new living, breathing person that shares your DNA and needs things such as food, shelter, clothing....there's this thing called "child support" that is infinitely more expensive than any form of birth control currently on the market. And the vast majority of the time this is paid by the GUY.
So if you want to know who's REALLY responsible, ask yourself first who's ULTIMATELY responsible, and you'll have found your answer.
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| Feb 18, 2006 @ 2:34 AM |
Birth control : who's really responsible?
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painter007
Posts: 17,854
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I just say thank god for us older women no worries anymore.
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| Feb 18, 2006 @ 3:24 AM |
Birth control : who's really responsible? |
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JesterDrawers
Posts: 11,116
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And I thank God for you "older women" as well.....ESPECIALLY "older women" who look and feel as young as the two of you do!
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| Feb 18, 2006 @ 9:36 AM |
Birth control : who's really responsible?
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Kat_luvr
Posts: 716
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Well It is supposed to be a two- way street..........However, since I am the one who will be left holding the bag ( of waters with baby) I make sure, something is done.....(Although Im not so SURE it can happen with me anymore....)
Still It's Not just PG but also for the sake of STD's.........Have Condoms, will travel...
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| Feb 18, 2006 @ 4:27 PM |
Birth control : who's really responsible? |
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Angel54214
Posts: 18,201
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Glad those days are long gone for me I tell ya!
I know both parties should take on that responsibility.
For the women, there is all so the Depo Provera shot. Has to be taken once every three months. Its 99% prevention and safe. Haven't heard of a pregnancy as yet on that continious prevention.
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| Feb 19, 2006 @ 5:17 PM |
Birth control : who's really responsible?
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subixx
Posts: 5
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Both of you, no matter what if you both decide to take it to the bed then your more then willing to take the risk, same thing with STD.. blah blah blah anything you do, you have no one to blame except the two of you..
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| Feb 23, 2006 @ 5:52 AM |
Birth control : who's really responsible? |
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Rac87el
Posts: 23
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I have to say US women, because from what I have seen and how I have been raised men lie, use and manipulate to get what they want and they dont give a f**k, so as women we have to protect our hearts and our bodies because we have the most to lose. Did you know women get more STD's then men because we have open systems and you can get cervical cancer from too much sex. and we are the ones who get pregnant and have to have the babies and care for them when men take off. Working twice as hard just to provide for kids that men can deny and say their not mine because they didnt carry them around for 9 months so why should they have to do anything. Men only claim their kids when they want to, When its something fun, or can get them money. but when its hard times, having to stay home no social life, boo-boos and tempertantrum....men disapear and court ordered child support men find all kinds of ways to get out of paying that. And some guys might take offense and say well the woman should have been married, well married or not it happens to all women. I know this for a fact because I was a child of a single mother and my mother had been married to my dad for 5 yrs before she got pregnant with me and she still got duped....so this is how I believe, you got to be independant and take care of yourself, nobody else will do it for you, get a good education, become successful, before even thinking about kids bringing kids into the world so atleast if the sh*t hits the fan you are prepared to do whats best. And always when it comes to sex think before you act.
well i'm getting off my soapbox now... 
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| Feb 23, 2006 @ 1:47 PM |
Birth control : who's really responsible?
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zulamaze
Posts: 1,266
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Regardless of whose responsibility it is....
Me as female would make sure I was on the pill.
afterall I would be the one to raise the child.
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| Feb 24, 2006 @ 7:05 PM |
Birth control : who's really responsible? |
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painter007
Posts: 17,854
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Is this really a question that there should be any debate over. If someone needs to ask then they shouldnt be doin.
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| Mar 8, 2006 @ 7:42 PM |
Birth control : who's really responsible?
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WickedWench
Posts: 1,613
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you can get cervical cancer from too much sex
This used to be the theory at one time but due to the fact faithful married women also got cervical cancer, it's been proven to be a falacy (sp?)
Not to mention I'm pretty sure my cervix can't tell the difference LOL
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| Mar 13, 2006 @ 2:38 AM |
Birth control : who's really responsible? |
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imotherearth
Posts: 75
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i take care of the pill, he does the condoms, tests ect.
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| Mar 13, 2006 @ 9:06 PM |
Birth control : who's really responsible?
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mogrl1000
Posts: 258
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I didn`t read any of the other replies but the way i see it is since it`s my body im going to make sure that i protect myself anyway possible.
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| Mar 13, 2006 @ 9:31 PM |
Birth control : who's really responsible? |
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,955
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It's my responsibility to go to the gynecologist and be perscribed the pill.
It's his responsibility to buy the condoms.
It's my responsibility to buy the lubricant and anything else I feel I'll need to make myself comfortable, since it's the first time.
That's what Dan and I talked about.
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| Mar 14, 2006 @ 1:43 AM |
Birth control : who's really responsible?
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peaches_n_cream2002
Posts: 302
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If all of the artificial forms of birth control have proven to have problems for one or both of you, then there's always the natural family planning method.
This would only be used if you're monogamous and both tested to know you're std free.
But a woman is not fertile every day of the year, only 3-4 days a month. Avoid sex on the days she's ovulating, and if you can't, slap on a condom.
I've never been on the pill and refuse to be. If I decide to start having sex again, it will be in a monogamous relationship (probably marriage) and I will be using the nfp method and nothing else.
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| Mar 14, 2006 @ 2:07 AM |
Birth control : who's really responsible? |
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JesterDrawers
Posts: 11,116
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natural family planning method
This is a bit of a misnomer. This is what my first wife and I did.
Let's see...three boys in four years....it's not JUST those 3-4 days a month, since it's difficult to pinpoint with 100% accuracy which 3-4 days you need to abstain.
Then after #3 was born, we tried a rather UNNATURAL method of birth control - marital abstinence! 
(Or darn close to it!!!!) LOL ...wait...it was NOT funny!!!!!  I SAID it was NOT FUNNY!!!!
But the babies seemed to stop right about the time I started sleeping on the couch. Coincidence? I think not, although further scientific studies may be needed to prove or disprove my hypothesis.....
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| Mar 14, 2006 @ 2:21 AM |
Birth control : who's really responsible?
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peaches_n_cream2002
Posts: 302
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NFP is definitely not an exact science, but if I use it within a committed marriage relationship and I get pregnant.. I don't really see a problem. Of course, I'm the girl that wants to get pregnant on my wedding night and have 10 kids. lol
I do know a family though that used it with 100% accuracy. They conceived immediately when they wanted to, and successfully remained unpregnant when they didn't want to get pregnant.
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| Mar 14, 2006 @ 2:26 AM |
Birth control : who's really responsible? |
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JesterDrawers
Posts: 11,116
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My mention of 3 boys in 4 years was rather tongue-in-cheek. Like you plan on doing, those boys were born in a committed, monogamous relationship, so the fact that the NFP method didn't quite work out was not a big deal. Quite the contrary, I was GLAD it didn't work with 100% effectiveness....cutest little bablies I've ever laid eyes on!
100% accuracy seem almost unheard of! Good for them. And good for you...it's not often you hear anyone say they want 10 kids these days! 
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| Mar 14, 2006 @ 2:30 AM |
Birth control : who's really responsible?
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peaches_n_cream2002
Posts: 302
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Maybe 10, maybe more. And if I cannot have kids (or even if I can) I plan on adopting. There are a lot of people in this world that do not want to be parents, so I'll do it for them. Nothing brings me more joy than children.
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| Mar 14, 2006 @ 2:36 AM |
Birth control : who's really responsible? |
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sissycat411
Posts: 1,248
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Peaches.....You go lady....I think you will always make the best choices in the given realms for you...Good Luck young lady.... 
As to the question at hand.....It's both peoples responsibility.....100% each......and so are the consequences
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