| May 6, 2006 @ 1:15 PM |
This one is for all the married men on here who say their wvies
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startswthakiss
Posts: 79
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Ok sunbabe so if flirting with others is so harmless where is your darlin G*** now?? I suppose this is how you met Lance. I don't feel the need to flirt with others if I am truly in love with someone. I give all my attention to just one man, not strangers online or anywhere else.
I wouild still like to know if his wife knows he is flirting, Permission is not needed just honesty for heavens sake!! LOL I wonder where the line stops in these imaginary boundries? I could careless what Lance does it's his wife I am considering here. To many married men cheating and blame it on the wife.
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| May 6, 2006 @ 1:27 PM |
This one is for all the married men on here who say their wvies |
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SunBabe
Posts: 12,278
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He's DEAD.
Any more questions? 
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| May 6, 2006 @ 2:12 PM |
This one is for all the married men on here who say their wvies
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GoodBear
Posts: 67
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Divorcing was the best decision I ever made in my life. It did devastate me financially, but it saved my sanity. Now when I left, I thought it was mostly about sex, but as time goes by I see that I was missing out on a lot of other good things, such as the freedom to watch an entire game of basketball on T.V. When I lived with X I was never relaxed and I couldn't have been happy if I won a million dollars. As far as my two sons go, I found a way to be an even better Dad to them. They have always come first.
Badgeman, I think you and anyone else deserves the benefit of a doubt. I would urge you to think of ending your marriage as a problem that might have a solution. Money wise consider it a math problem, that worked for me. But I don't know you, don't really know your situation and it may be just as you say your only option to stay married. In that case, you have my deepest sympathy. Me I wouldn't go back to the hell I was in for any reason. That's something X2B sure didn't get.
When all is said and done, I ain't married and I sure as hell ain't gonna involve myself with a married person's problems on a sexual or romantic level. There is just to much potential grief there.
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| May 6, 2006 @ 3:05 PM |
This one is for all the married men on here who say their wvies |
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whisper67520
Posts: 11
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When all is said and done, I ain't married and I sure as hell ain't gonna involve myself with a married person's problems on a sexual or romantic level. There is just to much potential grief there.
Couldn't have said it better myself....  Thanks 
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| May 6, 2006 @ 3:53 PM |
This one is for all the married men on here who say their wvies
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chinabull2000
Posts: 7,012
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Any more questions? No more questions babe. 
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| May 7, 2006 @ 9:22 AM |
This one is for all the married men on here who say their wvies |
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WickedWench
Posts: 1,613
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Badgeman
I get hit on pretty often by married men. The most common reason for them staying in a marriage is because of the reasons you've stated. Children and finances so you're not alone. But if you think it's tense now, wait til your wife catches you. And she will. If I am in a situation where I do end up having to talk to these married men the following is what I say to them. So I'll say it to you.
The sad thing about this is that while I can understand your position, at the end of the day there is only one way out of it. Doing it your way is going to destroy more than just your marriage. For instance, your wife will be deeply hurt and just might have trust and self confidence issues as a result of your cheating. Great that you got your "ya-ya's" out but now you've potentially damanged another human. And for what? Ever think of that? No I'm not giving you heck here .....just pointing out the possible repercussions. This isn't just about you. It affects several lives here.
And your kids? I'm not being mean when I say this but if you think they don't know Daddy ain't a happy camper then you really need to un-insert your head out of your butt. Kids are extremely perceptive and will notice the lack of affection or coldenss between Mom and Dad. Is that what you want to role model for your kids? That being married is lousy and you're unhappy and that's the way its done? As opposed to possibly moving on and finding someone that you share warmth and love with? That loving someone is a good thing as opposed to? It is your choice at the end of the day which one you choose to role model for your kids. But please don't use them as an excuse because you're not really giving them anything positive out of this. You're the only one who benefits. Period
I bet if you mustered up the courage your kids already do know or suspect it on some level, depending on their ages.. I'm thinking you might be the only one who doesn't.
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| May 7, 2006 @ 10:28 AM |
This one is for all the married men on here who say their wvies
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whisper67520
Posts: 11
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Wicked..... 
Men who stay in marriages, where they don't love their wives enough to show them the respect of being honest and who cheat are just cowards...very dishonest and in the end hurt many innocent people.....what a character role that is...  and how damaging it is to the other people involved
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| May 7, 2006 @ 11:52 AM |
This one is for all the married men on here who say their wvies |
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,813
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Many affairs start when a woman allows herself to engage with a married guy by telling herself that he’s just being friendly. Once the chemistry is going strong, she can get swept away when a guy turns on the charm.They have deeper issues that are holding them back from pursuing love with a true partner, from intimacy fears to self-esteem, and that’s why they keep returning to married men..so in some cases whose leading who on?..The married man? or the women who go along with the married man? Just my thoughts...
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| May 7, 2006 @ 12:12 PM |
This one is for all the married men on here who say their wvies
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desertwolf
Posts: 1,847
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Posts: 5824
"Many affairs start when a woman allows herself to engage with a married guy by telling herself that he’s just being friendly. Once the chemistry is going strong, she can get swept away when a guy turns on the charm.They have deeper issues that are holding them back from pursuing love with a true partner, from intimacy fears to self-esteem, and that’s why they keep returning to married men..so in some cases whose leading who on?..The married man? or the women who go along with the married man? Just my thoughts"
To piggy back on this a bit, the theme of "office romances" and/or "water cooler" romances has been discussed by many a psychologist and marriage counselor. In a daily working environment, working closely with someone of the opposite sex CAN, and often DOES lead to a strong emotional connection...call it chemistry or whatever. Flirtations, innocent as they may seem, can lead to mixed messages being sent. Men and women communicate differently. The message received is not always the message sent.
I agree with TiNk. Both are willing participants...for whatever reasons. And those are my humble thoughts as well.
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| May 7, 2006 @ 12:18 PM |
This one is for all the married men on here who say their wvies |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 19,366
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Both are willing participants...for whatever reasons
Agreed...it's like driving drunk. You may be out of control when the accident happens, but you knew up front what the risks were. I have my 'office hubby' at work, who's extremely attractive and very married. I also know my own weaknesses...I'll have lunch with him, but won't go out for a drink after work. It might be excusable to be 'swept away' when you're 16 and have no clue how powerful that undertow can be, but once you're an adult, you have to know exactly what you're doing and accept responsibility for your actions.
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| May 7, 2006 @ 12:22 PM |
This one is for all the married men on here who say their wvies
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,813
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but once you're an adult, you have to know exactly what you're doing and accept responsibility for your actions.
Thats exactly my thoughts on the subject. 
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| May 7, 2006 @ 3:40 PM |
This one is for all the married men on here who say their wvies |
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startswthakiss
Posts: 79
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You said it all WickedWinch. I don't feel sorry for married men who stay in unhappy marriages because of they may lose it all. They are going to once she finds out he is cheating. I left my husband with my 3 kids and made it alone. That was without any child support. So there is no excuse for a man to cheat on his wife, just leave!!! 
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| May 7, 2006 @ 3:49 PM |
This one is for all the married men on here who say their wvies
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WickedWench
Posts: 1,613
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Tinker
I agree with you.
I've been contacted in various chat rooms and in my professional life by married co-workers. The flirtatious conversations typically end almost immediately after I give my "perspective" about what it does to a wife and kids. Somehow the honesty of it shakes the illusions they might be harbouring about infidelity. If it doesn't end then? When I say to them quite frankly "You have nothing to offer me that I would have any interest in", Because I still have to work with these people and there is no harm in discussing a bad relationship, I will continue to talk as long as the ground rules are clear. IE: Don't flirt cuz I'll shut you down 
One other interesting thing I've found is that often men don't want to leave their wives because they do love them (albeit in a weird way) but the wives have no interest in sex. Now from my perspective, sex is an important part of a relationship and if it's not happening, then there needs to be serious discussions on why that is and what can be done to remedy it. In the cases where the wife just isn't interested, and the reasons are numerous, then she also needs to wake up to the fact sex is a crucial part of a relationship and actively do something about it. No healthy person can stay abstinate forever and no I'm not condoning cheating, in any way shape or form, but therein lies a huge issue
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| May 7, 2006 @ 5:32 PM |
This one is for all the married men on here who say their wvies |
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alter7
Posts: 41
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So in the end is all the trouble worth loosing everything over sex....no, therefore........I'm here.
Are you sure you are on the right website,badgemann06?
This is DATING site, didn't you notice this?
Sex-service is readily available on numerous websites , but you somehow have chosen to be HERE. WHY? Does it mean that in your mind "dating = sex" ( and not "dating =relationship", as it , actually ,is)? Or are you here for FINANCIAL reasons - i.e. in your mind "dating = FREE sex" ? Which means that you don't mind waste women's time pretending you're looking for relationship ( with no time / means or intention for anything but sex) , if it saves you sex-service fees .... 
Do you really feel good about yourself doing all this ...pardon my French....BS'ing just to save a couple of bucks????
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| May 7, 2006 @ 6:40 PM |
This one is for all the married men on here who say their wvies
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whisper67520
Posts: 11
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to Alter7
Kinda cheap bastard isn't he? 
That's just what he's trying to make of the women here looking for a relationship.....a free prostitute... 
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| May 7, 2006 @ 7:03 PM |
This one is for all the married men on here who say their wvies |
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,813
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Kinda cheap bastard isn't he?
 Only my opinion but I think that was uncalled for..the name calling.
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| May 7, 2006 @ 7:42 PM |
This one is for all the married men on here who say their wvies
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uncrazy
Posts: 2,618
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I'm glad that badgemann found the courage to let us into his life. We can be kind and respectful of his honesty or we can beat him up for getting stuck in a place that seems like it has no solution. The good thing about his writing this down is he has created physical evidence that he has a problem. All his current solutions seem to create even greater problems. I for one have often been stuck with problems that seemed to have no solution. Once I admitted to what I was creating, I had the opportunity to stop creating what wasn't working and then begin to create something new. I often needed the help and guidance from others. Naturally success always came after belef that it could be different. I was trapped only as long as I believed I was trapped, and this being trapped was usually only because I couldn't find a solution within me.
I often must remind myself that I am creating it just like it is...and even when I look like a victim, I will have played this role because it looks like it has payoffs of some kind(often only known to me and NEVER admitted to others) for me.
If we can be kind and listen we may be of use to badgemann or we can send him to his room for having problems in his relationships with others.
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| May 7, 2006 @ 7:50 PM |
This one is for all the married men on here who say their wvies |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 19,366
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We can be kind and respectful of his honesty or we can beat him up for getting stuck in a place that seems like it has no solution
Good point Uncrazy. Most of us are divorced, and most of us went through fairly long periods of trying to work things out. His profile is honest, and his posts have been too. I sure can't see beating him up for trying to find a way to make his life more bearable.
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| May 7, 2006 @ 8:16 PM |
This one is for all the married men on here who say their wvies
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shannasL
Posts: 44
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His profile is honest, and his posts have been too. I sure can't see beating him up for trying to find a way to make his life more bearable.
I still don't see any "beating" in alter's post. He not only asked a very important question , but , in fact, also POINTED OUT HONEST SOLUTION for this kind of "marital problems".
As for his question - since we still don't hear from badgemann06, he's still trying to come up with some different answer that the one alter assumed and which he's obviously ashamed to admit...
And I really want to thank alter7 for his attempt to protect all female dating sites' members from being seen as ...yes...you are 100% correct,whisper, HE WAS SEEING WOMEN ON THIS SITE AS FREE PROSTITUTES... 
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| May 7, 2006 @ 9:46 PM |
This one is for all the married men on here who say their wvies |
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startswthakiss
Posts: 79
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Well it all comes down to choices. We all have choices right or wrong. He doesn't think it's wrong to flirt with others while being married along with others. Eventhough he was up front about it, still doesn't make it right. I choose not to flirt with others while in a relationshiip. I am single so I can flirt with who ever I desire to, but it isn't with married men. I wouldn't do that to another woman.
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