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| Apr 4, 2006 @ 1:41 PM |
Sexual Frustration and social acceptability
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Vegeta720
Posts: 8
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So here we go. Why is it still that in America today for a man it is socialy acceptable for him to seek women out with desire for sexual relationships but its is totaly unacceptable for a woman to do the same thing?
A man is rarely asked about how many women he has slept with, but a woman who has more than a few is considered to be a "slut" or something of that nature.
Then you get the concept that a woman who is comfortable with her sexuality and is willing to cross that line and have sexual relations based on her own sense of worth and not a social expectation is not as good as a woman who saves herself for marrage or dates for a year or what have you. I'm not saying those choices are bad at all, im just saying that all options should be considered equally acceptable.
It would seem to me that aslong as you take the proper precautions to prevent pregnancy and disease you should be good to go if your a male or a female.
Does anyone agree or is this just me? Male and females are welcome to respond
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| Apr 4, 2006 @ 2:16 PM |
Sexual Frustration and social acceptability |
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fineartist
Posts: 124
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I think this division of acceptability stems largely from the fact that America, as well as most other countries/societies in the world, are male dominated and have descended from male dominated societies.
The reason for the difference in the perception of the actions of men and women is about control over society. Males usually occupy the highest seats of power. What is an effective tool for controlling the masses? Social engineering. Creating taboo around the certain behavior for women is probably one of the oldest and earliest instances of social engineering.
So it is a negative trait for a woman to be sexually active(ie. slut) yet it is a positive trait for a man to live in the same manner(ie. sign of virility).
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| Apr 4, 2006 @ 3:18 PM |
Sexual Frustration and social acceptability
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DawolfLover
Posts: 568
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I think it depends on where you are and who you are talking to. I personally don't care how many partners women have had as long as they're happy with themselves. I think the same applies for men. I personally believe casual sex is wrong from both sexes. I've got a few lady friends that have had a very high number of partners and I don't think any differently about them.
I've also seen this go the exact opposite. My last girlfriend had admitted to having had more than 50 sexual partners, which I though was perfectly fine. When I told her I had been reserved and only had 3 partners, she made comments that she thought maybe I was gay. Just because I hadn't had many partners. She also thought anything that I did that wasn't "manly" in her eyes, qualified me as "possibly gay."
Needless to say i'm straight and proud of it.
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| Apr 5, 2006 @ 12:46 AM |
Sexual Frustration and social acceptability |
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dark_moon
Posts: 158
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This old bullsh**t double standard is dieing a slow death. Many women are refusing to accept it these days. Both by refusing to deny their own sexuality, and by holding men accountable for their slutty behavior. And many men have wised up as well, realizing that it is not in their best emotional interest to try and screw any woman they date, and it doesn't make a woman a slut if she has had more sex partners than he has.
In my opinion anyone who just has sex willy nilly with anyone and everyone they can, is a slut. But at the same time, it doesn't make someone a slut if they choose to have an active sex life in the absense of a relationship (such as people who have 'special' friends).
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| Apr 5, 2006 @ 6:36 AM |
Sexual Frustration and social acceptability
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mailorderannie
Posts: 6,021
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In my opinion anyone who just has sex willy nilly with anyone and everyone they can, is a slut. But at the same time, it doesn't make someone a slut if they choose to have an active sex life in the absense of a relationship (such as people who have 'special' friends).
Okay, I'm confused...do you mean that if a woman has sex with a lot of people, she's a slut, but if she just limits herself to one person only for the purpose of having sex with them, its okay?
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| Apr 5, 2006 @ 11:15 AM |
Sexual Frustration and social acceptability |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 18,615
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Okay, I'm confused...do you mean that if a woman has sex with a lot of people, she's a slut, but if she just limits herself to one person only for the purpose of having sex with them, its okay?
Annie, I think I understand...it's not so much where the purpose is 'only having sex' as it is that you're not in love. You can care about the person and have them care about you, but it's not ever going to be an exclusive relationship because in the back of your minds you're still looking for 'the one'...but that can be a really looooooooong wait to remain celibate.
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| Apr 5, 2006 @ 12:05 PM |
Sexual Frustration and social acceptability
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kattsmeow
Posts: 22,629
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That is why there are "toy stores" ladies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
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| Apr 5, 2006 @ 12:21 PM |
Sexual Frustration and social acceptability |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 18,615
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Katt...sometimes a toy just doesn't do it...and the last time I was 'in love' was over 25 years ago...which doesn't mean there haven't been a few men that I've loved...
  
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| Apr 5, 2006 @ 12:37 PM |
Sexual Frustration and social acceptability
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kattsmeow
Posts: 22,629
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I do understand Heaven,,just feeling funny and yes a little "catty" today.
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| Apr 5, 2006 @ 3:38 PM |
Sexual Frustration and social acceptability |
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mailorderannie
Posts: 6,021
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OOOOHHHH, I get it now! Thanks 
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| Apr 5, 2006 @ 4:16 PM |
Sexual Frustration and social acceptability
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swingpup
Posts: 4,105
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a woman who has more than a few is considered to be a "slut" or something of that nature.
I have never known a "slutt". I do know many women that are sexually mature and that do in fact totally enjoy sexual pleasures without the commitment. These are simply called women. 
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| Apr 5, 2006 @ 4:32 PM |
Sexual Frustration and social acceptability |
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kinglouis2005
Posts: 856
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swingpup  EXCELLENT post.
Sorry boys if you cannot accept women do have needs as well then perhaps you should stick to your hands.
Men DO understand that what a man can do sometimes a woman can do better!!!
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| Apr 5, 2006 @ 4:43 PM |
Sexual Frustration and social acceptability
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someone_me
Posts: 506
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Double standards, name calling, labelling... And here I thought this was supposed to be a mature adult site? (Never have looked at a woman in this fashion and don't quite understand those who do, unless maybe they are just sexually repressed, which would explain a lot.)
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| Apr 5, 2006 @ 4:50 PM |
Sexual Frustration and social acceptability |
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painter007
Posts: 17,854
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who says its unacceptable?
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| Apr 5, 2006 @ 5:47 PM |
Sexual Frustration and social acceptability
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Loreli
Posts: 25,409
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I agree with Painter.
I have only had one man ask how many "men I have had." It was purely conversational, not a judgement issue. I don't ask men (well, I need one around first!) I wouldn't ask unless we were just b.s. ing, because as long as people have taken care not to contract a disease, the people before don't matter. I also don't believe women are looked that way as much anymore, unless they dress trashy, hang out all over, hang all over, and sleep with everyone every chance they got.
The same applies to men, in my opinion. If they are just trying to get "notches on their belt", they too are "sluts".
It's about respect for yourself, and the people you have any relationship with.
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| Apr 5, 2006 @ 6:52 PM |
Sexual Frustration and social acceptability |
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torees121
Posts: 739
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I have NOT been in love with every man I have slept with. My friends and I feel we can have a good time and we don't consider each other "sluts." If I am in the mood and not playing with a man's emotions what is the problem? I use to think that I couldn't have casual sex, but as long as I have some sort of feelings towards the person than I can.
I am not sure who is saying it is unacceptable but they obviously are alittle out of touch with the world today.
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| Apr 5, 2006 @ 7:22 PM |
Sexual Frustration and social acceptability
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Loreli
Posts: 25,409
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for a man it is socialy acceptable for him to seek women out with desire for sexual relationships but its is totaly unacceptable for a woman
it was more about the perception of women cant do it, men can.
At least in my answer, I think times have changed, and either sex could be perceived as a slut-not just women.
But anybody, in JUST my opinion, who puts it all out there and acts the part of a slut, is a slut, male or female. Doesn't mean people can't have fun at whim with who they want-it's all how it is presented.
Does that make sense?
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| Apr 5, 2006 @ 7:26 PM |
Sexual Frustration and social acceptability |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 18,615
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Actually, I don't think anybody on here's said that having sex with someone you're not in love with makes you a slut...and I'm with Loreli, it's how you look at yourself that matters. I know I don't even begin to consider myself a slut, I'm actually pretty picky, but I've only been in love once and that was longer ago than a lot of people on here have been alive. I've had 'casual sex', but for me, sex without any kind of affection's not much better than using a toy...a friend with benefits, or a 'special friend' works for me, but it's all about what works for each of us. If we're okay with it, then it's all good.
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| Apr 5, 2006 @ 8:07 PM |
Sexual Frustration and social acceptability
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torees121
Posts: 739
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I agree Heaven and Loreli good posts
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| Apr 6, 2006 @ 9:29 PM |
Sexual Frustration and social acceptability |
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WickedWench
Posts: 1,613
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I've seen women referred to as "sluts" on here a few times. It's alive and well on here 
Now if you ask me, and you DID ask me  I think it's up to the individual who they wish to sleep with.
It's an archaic, knuckle-dragging attitude. This would be a great place for a caveman icon
Yup. Some very uptight "desperately need to get laid in the WORST way" type people who make those kinds of nasty comments 
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