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| Apr 18, 2006 @ 3:51 PM |
waiting
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OHDrummer06
Posts: 31
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I want to wait until I'm married to have sex, for a number of reasons. But heres the problem, say I'm at a party, or a bar or something like that, and I start talking with a girl, and I'm thinking "hey she's cool, I'd like to go out with her". Then she makes a move on me and I tell her I want to wait until I'm married, and she's like "well see ya later". How do I avoid that kind of situation? I dont want to constantly come close to finding a girl I like just for her to leave me in the dust.
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| Apr 18, 2006 @ 4:25 PM |
waiting |
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RachelVaz
Posts: 1,086
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well, I did wait 'til I was married to have sex, and it was honestly not a big deal to him... For me, though, I am glad to have waited... It is a great accomplishment in my life... A girl who can wait is well worth the wait and search... I wish you the best of luck... and probably looking for her in bars is not the best idea (just a thought)....
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| Apr 18, 2006 @ 4:30 PM |
waiting
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OHDrummer06
Posts: 31
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yeah your right about the bars thing. Still I like going to bars and hanging out and I I'm not gonna assume that every girl that goes to bars is looking for action. thanks for the encouragement though.
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| Apr 18, 2006 @ 5:12 PM |
waiting |
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AngelLight
Posts: 5,455
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OH, simply follow what your heart and mind have told you .....waiting until marriage is a very personal decision and you have made it.
It can be harder for a guy to be a virgin because of the double standard that still exists regarding sex but since you clearly have your reasons for abstaining, do what you must!
If anyone hassles you, makes fun of you for not being a "real man", or walks away.....let them walk away, and stand strong in your conviction about this very important choice you have made.
Like energy attracts like energy....you desire to wait and I am positive you are not alone. There can be so much pressure for a guy to be sexually active at a very early age that at times you may feel like caving, but do not.
Stand by what you believe is in your best interest....you will attract someone who does the same.
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| Apr 18, 2006 @ 5:16 PM |
waiting
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bevrice
Posts: 11,166
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When the right one comes along, she will be waiting until she is married, too. My nephew held out like that, and always said he wanted a virigin. He got what he wanted and they did wait. They are very happily married and have been for about seven years. He met her in college.
So, just know, if she is the right one for you, she will want to wait, too, and she WILL come along.
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| Apr 18, 2006 @ 7:02 PM |
waiting |
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academicgirl
Posts: 161
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Good for you! Bars aren't the best place to find someone of the same mind though--  Also, try catholicmatch.com--lots of singles in your age bracket that are probably of the thought as you. Good luck!
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| Apr 18, 2006 @ 7:04 PM |
waiting
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nightrider3281
Posts: 752
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wtg nothing wrong with waiting, sometimes i wish i would have
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| Apr 18, 2006 @ 7:11 PM |
waiting |
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Pete73052
Posts: 19,368
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I want to wait until I'm married to have sex, for a number of reasons.
Such as?
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| Apr 18, 2006 @ 7:26 PM |
waiting
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OHDrummer06
Posts: 31
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1) Chances are I wont be able to give her a diamond ring, or a white house with a picket fence but I can give her that.
2)I want her to know I loved her that much before I even knew her.
3)Please excuse my language, but my b**** dont control me, and I sure aint gonna let some no morals having, useless jerk, with an inferiority complex tell me how to live my life, just so he can feel better about giving into his own desires.
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| Apr 18, 2006 @ 7:37 PM |
waiting |
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lacyvsq
Posts: 4,264
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Then she makes a move on me and I tell her I want to wait until I'm married
I'd suggest that unless her move is definitely saying "Let's have intercourse" (or some variant), that you play with the flirtation as just a compliment and leave the m-word for a time when you would actually consider this woman for marriage.
Our society does not effectively teach flirtation as a means of complimenting and saying "I want to get to know you a little better to see what my relationship with you can/will be." The best relationships will start and end as good friendships and somewhere in there will be that one friend with whom you may want to discuss marriage. Good friendships don't have to start out with discussions of marriage and sex. As long as your boundaries are clear to you, your behavior will give an appropriate message without you having to declare your morality. Declaring it to a stranger might be an indication to her that you misunderstood her move, or she may feel judged by it. Keep things light for a while...
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| Apr 18, 2006 @ 7:46 PM |
waiting
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OHDrummer06
Posts: 31
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yeah i know what your saying. By "make a move" I mean in a way that I can tell she wants sex.
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| Apr 18, 2006 @ 8:05 PM |
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lacyvsq
Posts: 4,264
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There is a difference between considering someone a possible sex partner, wanting sex at the earliest possible opportunity and admiring the sexuality of another. And there is possibly a whole range of other motivations that can give rise to similar behaviors. I'll repeat -- Unless she spells it out for you, or you are a mind reader, I think you should just treat it as a compliment. JMHO
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| Apr 18, 2006 @ 8:08 PM |
waiting
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Say_Yes
Posts: 1,777
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Waiting for the right one is one thing, but waiting till after you are married is something else. I would not buy a car without a test drive and I won't marry someone without one either.
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| Apr 18, 2006 @ 8:09 PM |
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jim9562
Posts: 620
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i agree with yes,,,,,why would you invest in something you planned on having for a long time without first seeing if you even like it,,,,,,,,,,,,
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| Apr 19, 2006 @ 12:48 AM |
waiting
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sjpinatl
Posts: 671
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If she is asking for it iimmediately, just say it does not feel right. No need to go into the fact that you are waiting for marriage. She only needs to know you are not ready to be with her.
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| Apr 19, 2006 @ 12:55 AM |
waiting |
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Jessa
Posts: 117
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Why do you have to tell someone you're waiting for marriage? Has our culture become so dilluted that people worry if they don't get some on the first few dates that he's gay? It isn't her business you're waiting for marriage unless you marry her.. and if she's so oversexed that she doesn't want to be with you unless she gets some... she's not worth your time.
Waiting till you're in a solid commitment is respectable.. you should be commended but if you say that offline they'll tease you and look down at you. Like sexual partners is a badge of honor for a man, and a warning when it comes to women.
I grew up Catholic, so sex was always followed with pangs of guilt.
Keep your promise to yourself even if it isn't a religious choice. Don't let the way we've become oversexed ruin your beliefs. You don't need sex to fall in love or be in a meaningful relationship.
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| Apr 19, 2006 @ 7:12 AM |
waiting
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franc0
Posts: 50
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according to research, most couple got divorce b'coz they are not sexually compatible or both them are not sexually satisfied. generally, men are polygamous in nature, one thinks that i wish i could be more sexually happy, so one looks for another. if you're sexually satisfied with your partner, why look for another one? although engaging in pre-marital sex is considered as immoral according to church coz it diminish the integrity of our society.
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| Apr 19, 2006 @ 10:40 PM |
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grumblebear
Posts: 10,471
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actually there are more divorces among people who chose to live together before marriage than those who wait....
and money is the number one divorce reason
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| Apr 19, 2006 @ 10:57 PM |
waiting
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richmondcowgirl83
Posts: 1,062
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marriage is the #1 cause of divorce
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| Apr 19, 2006 @ 11:11 PM |
waiting |
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Pete73052
Posts: 19,368
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1) Chances are I wont be able to give her a diamond ring, or a white house with a picket fence but I can give her that.
2)I want her to know I loved her that much before I even knew her.
3)Please excuse my language, but my b**** dont control me, and I sure aint gonna let some no morals having, useless jerk, with an inferiority complex tell me how to live my life, just so he can feel better about giving into his own desires.
Was #3 directed at me for asking the question? I thought I'd ask politely before shoving your head up you own ass. 
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